


Everyone has a secret, but can they keep it?

by ifzi0531



Series: Small Town [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, M/M, Other, based on tv series (Everwood) and all credits go to the show, be patient with me, slow burn fiction so yeah read it at your own risk, the endgame is Ziall and later on Larry though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 18:09:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 133,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1236109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifzi0531/pseuds/ifzi0531
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <br/><a href="http://s1295.photobucket.com/user/ifzi0531/media/Trial3poster_zps9df63307.jpg.html"></a><img/><br/></p>
</div> <div class="center">
  <p>New <b>relationships</b> are formed.</p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>New <b>friendships</b> are born.<br/></p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>New <b>feelings</b> are harbored.</p>
  <div class="center">
    <p>And everyone has a <b>secret.</b> But by living in the small town, can they really keep it?</p>
  </div>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oh no, they can't.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back~~ lalalala~ *eminem's voice*. I credit Everwood in the tag so forgive me if I forget to credit this TV series for each chapter after this. I'm just a human being. :D 
> 
> And the title of the story is taken from **[Maroon 5 - Secret](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEw1QqxNWAU)**. This song is also the soundtrack for the first chapter. :)

**The first week….**

_Dear Zayn, I know you’re unfamiliar with the kind of mail that doesn’t require a WiFi connection, but let me reacquaint you with a relic from the past – stationery. So how’s Juilliard? Things are going well here despite the obvious missing of you. Dr. Horan is taking a bit longer to situate himself into the office than I anticipated, but I’m sure things will return to normal any day now. Then again normal is a strong word whenever Bobby is involved._

Zayn shakes his head as he puts down the letter and smiles to himself. It still makes him amuse on how his father is one of the genius doctor out there, yet he still doesn’t really know how to use email. Zayn switches on his computer after that and starts to browse through bunches of emails. The ones that were sent from Niall. 

_Okay. Try downloading the picture again. I think I figured it out this time. Even though I still don’t fully understand the difference between jpeg and a pdf._

Zayn snorts and clicks on the file that is attached in the email. He smiles fondly when a picture of him and Niall appears on the screen. 

_If that worked I’ll send you the others this afternoon. I still can’t believe it was only three days ago I was eating hotdogs in Central Park with you and now I have to go to Spanish class with Senora Soraya. Summer school seems wrong.  
P.S. I found that Statue of Liberty penny in my jeans pocket so I guess I did take it. Which means you were right, proving there is a first time for everything._

Zayn smiles as he reads the email and in his head, he can hears Niall’s voice is telling him about all the stories. The way that Niall’s hands would become animated when he tells stories and it is kind of cute to Zayn. He then opens up his cellphone to find a bunch of text messages from Louis. 

_Dude, you’re not gonna believe this. I just made 37 baskets in a row. How hot is that?_

Zayn chuckles silently and starts to reply to Louis’s text. Sometimes, Louis can amuse him with his ridiculous shenanigan but that’s what makes Louis as the person he is. 

**Couple of weeks later……**

_Dear Zayn, I’ve been working on a new look since you’ve been gone. I’m telling you this because you might not recognize me when you come home later. My hair is longer and I’m wearing it different than before. You’ll see it. I also got a prescription glasses for me. Turns out I need it. You’ll see it too. Oh and dad is calling me downstairs, bye!_

**The day……**

_I can’t believe your flight got delayed again. Are you dying? Call me as soon as you get home no matter what time._

Zayn closes his cellphone and starts to sleep. He has a few more hours before he is back to the small town.

**************

Zayn steps out of the terminal, hoping that he can find a taxi but unfortunately there is no sight of the transportation at the moment. He turns around and there he is, Niall. The other boy is leaning against his car and smiles at Zayn. Zayn smiles back and they both start to walk toward each other with a happy glint in their eyes. Niall waits until he reaches Zayn before he pulls Zayn closer to kiss him. And once they pull away, Niall smiles brightly at Zayn. “I’m glad you’re back.”

**************

“I still can’t believe my dad let you pick me up instead of him.” Zayn says once they got out of Niall’s car when they reach his house. “How did you swing that?”

Niall shrugs and grins. “Wasn’t so hard actually. Your dad and I did quite a bit of bonding this summer.” He replies. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What? Bonded with my father. Why?” He asks curiously. 

Niall shrugs again. “Well, he’s a lot funnier than you give him credit for. And he always pays when we go out but mainly because he’s the only person in town who didn’t mind me talking about you 24-7.” He says with a smile and Zayn can see the blush on Niall’s cheeks. 

Zayn chuckles and shakes his head. “This is way too weird to process. I’m picturing you and my dad splitting a Coke at the diner. It’s freaking me out.” 

Niall laughs at Zayn’s comment and shakes his head. “One coke, two straws.” He jokes, glancing at Zayn to see his boyfriend’s reaction.

And as expected, Zayn starts to laugh. “Stop it.” He says while he grabs his bag from the back of Niall’s car. 

Niall smiles at Zayn and nods. “Okay, go. Sleep.” He says to Zayn. “Call me as soon as you get up in the morning.” 

Zayn nods and smiles. “Will do.” He replies sincerely. Although he really wants to talk to Niall at the moment, he is dead tired on his feet and he can feel his eyes start to droop sleepily. 

Niall leans closer and pulls Zayn in for a brief kiss before he pulls away. “Welcome home, Zayn.” He says before he looks pass Zayn’s shoulder to look at the older man that is standing at the front porch. “He’s all yours, Dr. Malik.” Niall adds, nodding at the older man, before he steps inside his car and drives away. 

Zayn waves his boyfriend off before he turns around and starts to walk towards the house. He smiles at his father and Yasir couldn’t help but smiles widely. “Oh, come here.” Yasir says as he pulls Zayn into a tight hug. 

“Uh, alright, dad. Air.” Zayn says when his father seems like he doesn’t want to let Zayn go. 

Yasir pulls away and grins. “How was your flight? You know, Harry tried to stay up but he just couldn’t make it.” He says. “So, how are you? Did you eat? Are you hungry?” 

“More tired than hungry.” Zayn mumbles in reply. 

Yasir nods understandingly as he looks at his son. “God, you look older.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “I am older.” He deadpans. “Eight weeks older. My wrinkles are starting to show.” He adds sarcastically. 

Yasir laughs happily, knowing that at least Zayn’s sarcasm is still the same. “Well, let’s get you to bed. You must be exhausted. We’ll deal with the details tomorrow.” He says as they start to step into the house. “You, uh, want me to wake you tomorrow or, uh, you know what, just sleep in.” 

Zayn nods sleepily. “Good night, dad.” 

“Good night.” Yasir says. “Hey, it’s good to be home, isn’t it?” He asks and Zayn throws him a small smile and nods before he makes his way towards his room.

**************

Zayn folds the letter back and putting it inside his pocket with a frown on his face. “Zayn!” Zayn turns around to see a bouncy-gigantic Harry is coming towards him excitedly. He laughs when Harry starts to crash on him instead of hugging him and Zayn shakes his head amusingly at Harry’s clumsiness.

“Hey, you’re wearing a glasses.” Zayn points out after they pull away. Zayn couldn’t help but feels like Harry is like a different person than before. He definitely looks older and taller and his hair is different along with the glasses, and yes, Zayn definitely thinks Harry looks nothing like Harry that he left eight weeks before. 

“Yes. Got them prescribed. I told you in the letter, I guess. Apparently, I spent too much time in front of the television screen.” Harry replies with a grin. Before Zayn could reply, someone is calling him from the backdoor and he turns around to find Nina who is smiling brightly at him. 

“You’re home.” Nina says excitedly and starts to pull Zayn into her hug. “So, how was it? Did you have a great time?” She asks once they pull away. Zayn nods and smiles. 

Harry watches the scene with a smile before the phone is ringing and he goes to pick it up. “Hello. Hi, Niall.” He greets happily and looks at Zayn. “It’s Niall.” 

“Hey, Niall. Hey, can he call you right back?” Yasir suddenly says as he grabs the phone from Harry’s grasp before Harry can pass it to Zayn. “Everyone’s just getting up around here.” 

“Hey?” Zayn whines from his spot as he looks at his father. 

“I can’t get over your hair. It’s longer, isn’t it?” Nina asks from beside him and Zayn turns around to look at Nina again and nods. 

“A little bit.” Zayn says. 

Nina nods and grins. “Oh, it looks good. I also like those things on the side of your face.” She says, referring to the sideburn on Zayn’s face. 

“My hair’s longer too.” Harry pipes in.

“Okay, 10 minutes. He’ll call you right back.” Yasir says to Zayn from the other side of the kitchen. “Everybody out.” He adds. “Nina, you’re taking Harry to the store, right?” 

“Absolutely.” Nina says and nods. “Let’s hit it.” She says as she looks at Harry. 

“You okay?” Yasir asks once he is left alone with Zayn after Nina and Harry leave the house. 

Zayn shrugs. “Harry was wearing a glasses. And his clothes…” 

Yasir nods understandingly. “I know. It’s weird.” He says before he takes a seat in front of Zayn at the table. 

“So listen. There’s something I want to talk to you about.” Zayn starts as he looks at his father. 

“And I want to hear everything.” Yasir says. “But first, there’s something important I want to talk to you about.” He adds before he starts to stand up. “Come with me.” 

Zayn follows his father curiously until they reach the garage and his father opens the door to reveal the interior inside the garage. “Wow!” Is the first word that comes out from Zayn’s mouth as soon as he steps into the garage. Or what used to be a garage. Because the space is now filled with his piano in the middle, a couch at the corner and a space for his computer on the other side of the room. 

Yasir smiles as he looks at Zayn. “You like it?” 

Zayn steps further into the room and looks around disbelievingly. “It’s uh..whoa..” He stammers. 

“Everything is state of the art, I think.” Yasir says. “I had a contractor sound proof the walls so you can play as late or as early as you want and uh, I got a stereo guy to, uh, hook up a recording gadget so you can make your audition tapes come December.” He adds. “So, this is your new studio, what do you think?” 

Zayn is still left speechless and doesn’t know what to reply to his father’s question. “Uh, where are you gonna park your car?” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I sold it to pay for this.” Yasir replies simply. 

Zayn shakes his head. “This, I mean..I..uh, why did you do all of this?” He asks curiously. 

Yasir smiles. “Because you deserve it.” He replies. “You know, I was just like you when I was your age. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and I also knew how much work it was gonna be. And every day all I wanted was a place that I can call my own where I could do that work. Where I could do all those things that you have to do when you’re on your way to becoming great, which you are.” 

“Yeah…I…I don’t know what to say.” Zayn says. “Thank you.” He adds as he looks at his father. 

Yasir nods before he pulls Zayn into his hug.

**************

“So, there I am.” Louis says as he bounces the ball on the ground. “One basket left to go.” He adds. “I mean, the pressure’s on, cause if I don’t make this, I’m down to my socks.”

“This is so gross.” Niall comments from his spot on the couch. 

“And if Gemma doesn’t make it, we’re talking full frontal.” Louis continues. 

Niall snorts and laughs at Louis’s ridiculousness while Zayn is shaking his head. “Wait a minute, when did strip basketball become a sport?” Zayn asks. “Was it in the Olympics? Did I miss something?” He asks, his eyes darting between Louis and Niall. 

Louis ignores Zayn’s sarcasm and continues with his story. “So, uh, I take a beat. Take a full step back. Focus my shot. Whoosh. And it is on.” 

Zayn shakes his head again. “It’s on or it’s in because I’m confused.” He points out and Niall laughs against his shoulder. 

“All I know dude, is summer rocks.” Louis says happily. “Especially, you’ll see, summer of your senior year, your parents let you do whatever you want cause they know you got to get out all the nasty before you go into the real world.” He points out. 

“Speaking of which, when do classes start at MCC?” Zayn asks as he looks at Louis. 

Louis shrugs lightly. “Five, six days. I don’t know.” He replies simply. “All I know is that I got at least a week left and nothing left to do, I plan to enjoy it.” He adds as he looks at both Zayn and Niall on the couch. “And that cuddling, that’s my cue to go, it’s good to have you back, brother.” He says before he walks away from the living room, leaving Niall and Zayn alone. 

Niall plays with Zayn’s hair before he snuggles closer to the other guy. “You know, I was thinking, we still have a few days before school starts too and, um, maybe we could go on a little camping trip or something or, Louis was talking about maybe driving up to Water World which is only a few hours north. It could be fun.” He says and when Zayn shakes his head, Niall raises his eyebrows. “What, you don’t like water parks?” 

“Well, I’m not a huge fan of activity that involves a bathing suit.” Zayn replies. “But, I guess I could make an exception for you.” He says before he leans in to kiss Niall. “Oh.” Zayn says when he glances at the clock on the wall and pulls away from Niall. 

“You have to go?” Niall asks. 

“Uh, no, I just, I told my dad that I would be, uh, ready for dinner by six and I haven’t practiced all day, so..” 

Niall looks at Zayn confusingly. “Practice? Juilliard’s over.” He points out and Zayn just stand up silently and they both start to walk towards the front door. “Take a break, crazy man. Enjoy it.” Niall teases. 

Zayn nods and starts to step out from the house. “I’ll call you after dinner, okay?” 

Niall smiles understandingly and nods. “Okay. We still on for Saturday?” 

“Absolutely.” Zayn replies simply before he walks away from Niall’s house. 

Niall watches Zayn walks away from his front porch and can’t help but feeling like Zayn is acting quite strange and distant. He shakes his head after that though, scolding himself for being ridiculous. Maybe Zayn is just tired.

**************

“Hey, uh, Nina’s here with Sam and not to freak you out or anything but I have no idea how she got in.” Zayn says as soon as he opens the door of the study room, startling Yasir a bit.

“Well, I gave her key this summer.” Yasir says. “Seemed to make sense considering how much time she spends here.” He explains. “Is that okay with you?” 

Zayn nods understandingly. “Yeah. I guess. Anything else happened this summer you want to fill me in on?” 

Yasir feels his heart pounding at the question but he tries his best to look calm in front of his eldest son. “Nothing I can think of.” He says. 

Zayn looks at his father curiously. “You alright?” 

“Fine. Fine. I’m just..been a long day.” Yasir replies. 

Zayn seems to let it slide and just nod silently. “Alright. Well, I’ll see you down there.” He says before he closes the door again. 

Yasir waits until Zayn leaves before he pulls out the small envelope from his briefcase and starts to read the letter. 

_Dear Dr. Malik. I’ve decided that I can’t take your money. These last two months in Dublin have been more difficult than I ever thought possible. But I’ve come to decision about this baby and I need to move forward with it on my own. You can no longer be a part of this. There are so many things I wish I could undo, but most of all, I know that I should’ve never come to you in the first place. I’d appreciate if you don’t contact me anymore. – Perrie._

**************

“Why are you hitting your computer?” Maggie asks as she steps into Yasir’s office and finds the man is hitting on his keyboard violently.

“Because it doesn’t work and I hate it.” Yasir replies angrily. 

Maggie raises her eyebrows. “Are you sure it’s the computer that doesn’t work?” She asks. 

Yasir shakes his head. “This map thing is supposed to be sending me to Dublin, but I think it’s trying to send me to other place than that.” He says in frustration. 

“Who are you going to see in Dublin?” Maggie asks curiously and when Yasir remains silent, it clicks in her mind. “Perrie? Is she okay?” 

“Well, that’s what I’m trying to find out. She sent me this.” Yasir says as he passes the letter to Maggie. “I tried calling her yesterday, but there was no answer so I figured I’d just drive down there and see what’s going on. See if everything’s okay.” 

Maggie takes the letter and starts to read it. “Uh, and what part of ‘do not contact me’ don’t you understand?” She deadpans as she looks at Yasir. 

“I just want to make sure that she’s alright.” Yasir says. 

Maggie snorts. “That’s a load of flap doodle.” She points out bluntly. “You just want to know if she’s still living there so you can see if that short least you put on that girl is still intact.” 

“Well, it is important that I know where she is.” Yasir replies, not even bother to correct Maggie about his real intention to see Perrie. 

“Why?” Maggie asks. “Listen, Yasir. I know you think you did the right thing, but..”

“I did what I had to do.” Yasir says, cutting Maggie off. “Zayn would have never have been able to..” 

Maggie shakes her head before Yasir can finish. “Let’s..let’s don’t go down that road again.” She says. “You did what you did and it’s done. I may not agree with it but I certainly don’t judge you for it. The fact remains keeping this secret is killing you and now that Zayn is home and you have to look him in the eyes every day. It’s only gonna get worse.” 

“Well, even if I did regret the decision, there’s nothing I can do about it now.” Yasir says. “I’m already involved.” 

“But you don’t have to be anymore.” Maggie says, waving the letter in her hand. “You’ve been given a second chance. Perrie is releasing you. She did what you asked of her, Yasir. Show her the same respect. Let her go.”

**************

“Whatcha doing?”

Zayn startles and quickly folds the small letter that he was reading before he turns around to look at his brother. “Since when do you come into my room without knocking?” He asks not too nicely.

Harry shrugs. “The door was halfway open.” 

“Do you want me to put a lock on it for you? Because I’d be happy to.” Zayn snaps. 

Harry rolls his eyes. “Sorry.” He apologizes half-heartedly before he sits on Zayn’s bed near the unpacked bag. “So, guess what, Counselor Polsen told me if I wanted to ride during the year, all I had to do..” 

Zayn watches as Harry starts to play around with his bag and then he remembers the letter. “Alright, Harry. Out. Now!” He says loudly, startling the younger boy. 

Harry shakes his head at Zayn and starts to walk out from the room. “You suck.”

**************

“I can’t put my finger on it exactly. I just know something’s off.” Niall says while Louis is making his shot through the basket over and over again, listening to his brother’s rant.

“What are you blabbing about?” Louis asks, glancing at his younger brother. “You guys were all up in each other’s goo yesterday.” He points out. “What more do you want?” 

“Yeah, but he wasn’t completely with me.” Niall says. “I mean, he was with me, _with_ me, but mentally he wasn’t, you know.” 

Louis shakes his head. “No, no, I don’t.” He deadpans before he continues. “Man, you’re such a chick sometimes.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows at his older brother’s comment. “What does that supposed to mean?” 

Louis rolls his eyes. “It means that you are a drama king.” He says while he makes his last shot before he turns around to look at his younger brother properly. “Niall, you, you thrive on the crazy, okay? It’s like, your life is going really well right now. You got a totally cool boyfriend who’s totally into you and you’re looking for problems. Why?” 

Niall bites his nails briefly and shakes his head. “I’m not looking for them.” He points out before he bites his nails again. 

“He’s not mentally with you.” Louis deadpans. “Well, what does that even mean?” 

“It means, it’s, it’s like..” Niall says and pauses before he sighs in resignation. “I’m crazy.” He admits. 

Louis nods and grins. “Thank you.” 

Niall shakes his head. “I am. I’m totally freaking out for no reason.” He says. “Why? Why would I do that?” 

Louis looks at his brother and shrugs. “Oh, that’s all right.” He says before they both start to sit on the ground. “You know, your life has been such crap ass lately, you probably forgot what it even feels like to be happy.” He adds. “In fact, that whole weird feeling you’re talking about, probably just a good mood.” 

Niall looks at Louis and contemplates on Louis’s words for a moment before he finally nods. “You’re right. That’s probably what exactly it is. There’s nothing wrong with me and Zayn.” He says. “I just have to sit back and enjoy the fact that I have a fantastic boyfriend who’s finally home and we’re going to have the best senior year ever because we totally deserve it.” He adds, with more confident than before, shrugging off the bad feeling that he had earlier. 

Louis rolls his eyes and ruffles Niall’s hair on his way to stand up. “Okay, no need to bust out the pompoms.” He says but smiles fondly at his brother nonetheless.

**************

“So what do you think?” Niall asks his mother as he tries on the blue jacket at the store, in front of the mirror.

Maura looks at her son’s reflection in the mirror and smiles. “”I think that poor boy is gonna faint when he sees you.” She says. 

Niall chuckles and shakes his head at his mother’s exaggerate response. “Really?” 

Maura nods. “Oh, I love you in that color.” 

Niall looks at his reflection again and raises his eyebrows. “You don’t think the red one’s better?” He asks before he turns around to face his mother. 

“No. I still don’t understand what’s so important about this date.” Maura says as she looks at her youngest son. Niall had insisted for her to help him finding a good shirt for his date with Zayn and although she’s happy to spend some time with her son, she couldn’t help but feels curious. “You spent 10 days together in New York City, what could be more romantic than that?” 

“Yeah, but this is our first official date in Mullingar.” Niall points out. “I mean, this is the beginning of what could be the most important relationship I ever have, mom.” 

Maura nods understandingly. “Well, in that case, I think you probably need a new pair of shoes too.” She says. 

Niall’s face light up happily and he pulls his mother into his hug. “You’re the best mom ever.” He says and when he is about to pull away, he sees Zayn at the parking lot, just getting out from his car. “Oh my god, how weird is that? Look?” 

Maura turns her head to look through the store’s window. “What?” 

“It’s like we’re always in the same place.” Niall says behind his mother as they peering through the glass window. 

“Well, it could be that there’s only one main street in Mullingar.” Maura teases his son. 

Niall ignores his mother’s teasing and starts to pull out his cellphone. “I’m gonna call and say hi. Cover me so he doesn’t see my clothes.” He says before he starts to dial the familiar number with a big smile on his face. He watches as Zayn pulls out his phone from his pocket. His smile falters when Zayn rejects his call and putting the phone back into his pocket and walks away without even glancing at his phone again. 

Maura turns around to look at Niall’s face and tries to cheer him up again. “Well, maybe your number didn’t come up.” She says, trying to be positive. “Sometimes when I get one of those private calls I don’t answer either.” 

Niall shakes his head, ignoring his mother’s attempt to cheer him up and rips off the jacket from his body before he hangs it back to the rack. His happy feeling is totally gone and now he knows that something is really off with Zayn.

**************

Yasir knocks on the door and a young girl starts to open it with a smile but she immediately frowns when she sees him.

“Dr. Malik.” She hisses.

Yasir nods. “Jade, I think we met once.” 

“Perrie’s not here.” Jade says, cutting Yasir’s off with her arms across her chest as she glares at him. 

“Are you guys moving?” 

Jade sighs and shakes her head. “You shouldn’t be here.” She points out. 

Yasir nods. “I know.” 

“No, you don’t.” Jade says. “You don’t get it.” She adds. “She trusted you. You were like a father to her. I don’t know if you know anything about Perrie’s family, but her dad took off when she was a kid and her mom’s kind of a religious zealot. So, as you could imagine how well she took the news about the pregnancy, which is why she came to you first. I told her you wouldn’t be the most objective person in the world but she defended you. She said you were a good man. She said you would help her.”

Yasir sighs heavily before he replies. “I have tried to protect Perrie from day one. And I’m going to continue that. That’s why I’m here.” 

Jade snorts and shakes her head sceptically. “That’s not why you’re here.” She points out bluntly. “You’re here cause you want to know if she kept the baby or not. You’re just trying to cover your ass and I’m not gonna help you do it.” She says before she starts to close the door. But she stops and looks at Yasir again. “I told her to call Zayn. I told her he deserved to know the truth about the pregnancy and about what kind of man his father really is.” 

“Jade?” 

“And I don’t know if she did it or not. I just thought you’d want to know.” Jade finishes before she slams the door close, right in front of Yasir’s face.

**************

Niall steps into the diner and thank the God when he spots someone that he really needs to see at the moment. So he starts to approach the person. “Hey, Dr. Malik. Can I talk to you for a minute?” He asks and the older man turns to look at him.

“Now’s not such a good time, Niall.” Yasir says apologetically. After his encounter with Jade earlier, he feels like his energy is draining and alone time is what he needs at the moment. 

“It’s about Zayn.” Niall blurts out. 

That, gets Yasir’s attention when he looks at Niall with a concerned frown “What’s the matter with Zayn?” 

Niall shrugs before he takes a seat beside the older man at the stool. “I don’t know. Do you know anything that could be bothering him? Did something happen?” He asks, hoping that the older man knows the answer to those questions that have been plaguing his mind. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows confusingly. “What exactly is he doing?” 

“It’s not what he’s doing.” Niall replies. “It’s how he’s being. He’s all secretive and shut-off. He acts like everything’s fine but I can tell it’s just an act. I know him too well.” He adds. “You’re not getting any of this?” He asks curiously. 

Yasir nods. “Maybe. A little.” He admits truthfully. 

“What could be so big that we couldn’t talk about it?” Niall wonders out loud as he looks at the older man. “We talk about everything.” 

“Why don’t you just ask him?” Yasir says. “I mean, it seems to be the only thing you can do right now, right?” 

Niall shrugs again. “Or maybe I could just not bring it up and this whole thing will just disappear.” He says. “It happens sometimes, right?” 

“Sometimes.” Yasir replies. “Problem is, things you try to bury have a way of digging themselves up again.”

**************

Yasir knocks on the door and lets himself in even when Zayn doesn’t response. But he knows he hears the piano sound from inside the room.

“What?” Zayn asks without even turning around to face his father. 

“Hey, you’ve been in here all day.” Yasir points out. “I just want to make sure you were still alive. You hiding from me or something?” 

“It’s called practicing. It’s why you built this place. Remember?” Zayn snaps. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows at Zayn’s tone. “What’s going on with you, Zayn?” He asks. “You’ve had a major dose attitude ever since you got back here and I want to know why.” 

“I don’t have time for this.” Zayn grumbles under his breath but loud enough to be heard by his father. 

“Well, make time.” Yasir says. “What’s going on? You didn’t say two words at dinner the other night. You’re fighting with your brother. Even Niall can tell you’re upset about something.” 

Zayn turns his head to look at his father after he hears his boyfriend’s name. “Niall? You talked to Niall?” 

“Yes, of course I talked to Niall.” Yasir says. “I saw him at the restaurant. We talked for five minutes.” 

“I cannot believe you.” Zayn snaps. “How many times do we have to have this fight before you figure it out?” He yells at his father. 

“I don’t know! I don’t even know what we’re fighting about!” Yasir yells. 

“I don’t want you having conversations with my boyfriend or girlfriend behind my back!” Zayn continues yelling. “I don’t want you trying to fix things for me when I’m not around because newsflash whenever you think you’re fixing things, you’re actually making things worse or didn’t you figure that out yet?” 

Yasir shakes his head at his son’s attitude. “You keep it up, Zayn and I’ll take this place back in a heartbeat.” He warns. 

“Go ahead! Take it back!” Zayn says. “I never asked for it. I never asked for any of it.” 

“What is this? How did we get here?” Yasir asks. “I thought you were done throwing tantrums. I thought we were starting to communicate again.” 

Zayn snorts and shakes his head. “Communicate?” He huffs. “I don’t see you communicating with me. In fact, if anybody’s been acting weird around here, it’s you.” Zayn points out. “All the hugging. The big studio. What’s it all about? It’s a little hypocritical, don’t you think? You expect me to tell you everything I’m thinking when you don’t tell me dick.” 

“I tell you what I think is necessary.” Yasir replies. 

“Well, so do I.” Zayn deadpans. 

Yasir sighs. “What do you want me to tell you?” He asks his eldest son. 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know.” He says. “But you obviously have something to say.” He adds and when his father just standing there in front of him in silent, Zayn shakes his head. “Well, I guess we all have secrets.”

**************

Bobby nods, agreeing with Yasir’s suggestion to hang their sign at the office on Saturday and because of that, both of them are lurking around their office. Bobby offers to hang the sign by himself and he asks Yasir if he wants to join him.

“I think I’ll just, uh, camp out here for a while.” Yasir replies to Bobby distractedly. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows as he looks at the other man. “Troubles at home?” 

Yasir looks at Bobby and sighs. “Have you, uh, ever kept a secret from your children, Bobby, or even from Maura for that matter?” 

“I’m certain I have.” Bobby replies. 

“What if the secret in question involved them, I mean, directly?” Yasir asks. 

“Well, if it involved them, I don’t see how I’d been able to keep it a secret for very long, not in my household.” Bobby admits. “Why?” He asks curiously. 

Yasir takes a deep breath before he starts to speak. “Eight weeks ago, I told Perrie to leave town. After finding out that she was pregnant.” 

Bobby falls into silent for a moment before he speaks up. “Zayn?” 

Yasir nods. “I told her not to tell him.” He says, looking at Bobby. “I also told her that I would take care of whatever she needed as long as she needed it. But now, I don’t know where she is. I don’t know if she had an abortion or if she’s decided to keep the baby. I don’t even know if she’s told Zayn about any of this.”

Bobby nods in understanding after Yasir’s words. “So you have no idea how to find her?” 

Yasir shakes his head. “No.” 

“But you think she’s been in contact with Zayn?” Bobby asks. 

“Maybe.” Yasir replies shortly. “I’m not sure. I know he’s been fighting with me. He’s been fighting with Niall.” 

Bobby perks up at the mention of his youngest son’s name. “Oh my God, do you think that he’s told Niall?” 

“I don’t know.” Yasir admits truthfully. “But it’s possible.”

**************

“Hey, Dr. Horan. Is Niall home?” Zayn asks as soon as the front door is opened after he rings the doorbell.

“Hey.” Niall says as he reaches the bottom of the steps and Bobby looks at both of them. 

“I’ll be upstairs if anyone needs me.” Bobby says before he takes off. 

Zayn steps into the house and stares at Niall. “You look nice.” He comments, looking at Niall’s clothes. 

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” Niall blurts out. 

Zayn’s eyes go wide at Niall’s words. “What?!” He asks in surprise. 

“Just get it over with. Please. Fast.” Niall says. 

Zayn steps closer towards Niall and pulls out a folded paper from his pocket and hands it to the other boy. “What is this?” Niall asks. 

“Just read it.” Zayn says simply. 

Niall opens the paper and starts to sit on the steps. Zayn moves to sit beside him and watches the blue-eyed boy when he starts to read it. 

“It’s from Juilliard.” Niall points out as he reads the top word in the letter. 

Zayn nods. “It’s my evaluation from the summer program.” He says. “Basically, I failed.” 

“What?” Niall asks in surprise. “How can you fail piano?” 

“Ah, apparently, there are many, many ways.” Zayn says. 

“But you’re an unbelievable player.” Niall points out. “I’ve heard you, I’ve seen you.” 

“Please. Please. Don’t.” Zayn says quickly, cutting Niall’s off. “I mean, I know you mean well, but..it just makes me feel worse.” 

Niall turns his head to the left to stare at the boy besides him. “So this is what’s been bothering you?” He asks. 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Zayn replies truthfully. 

“You should have just told me, Zayn.” Niall says. “I mean, I know what you’re going through, my report card last year was terrible.” 

“It’s not a report card, Niall!” Zayn snaps, startling Niall a bit and the smaller boy stops talking altogether. “This is my entire life, my whole plan and it’s falling apart.” Zayn says. “My dad redid the garage so I could live up to my genius potential, but as it turns out, I’m not a genius. I’m average. If I want to be anything other than average, I’m gonna have to practice my ass off every day from now on until winter when the auditions come up again.” 

“So that’s what you’ll do?” Niall asks quietly. 

Zayn nods firmly. “Yeah, so that’s what I’ll do. But, where does that leave us?” 

Niall shakes his head confusingly. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, you want to do all this stuff. You, you know, you want to go camping and go to Water World and do all these things that we should be able to go together since we’re this new happy couple, but I, I just can’t do it all.” Zayn says. “I can’t help Louis pick out all his classes for MCC. I can’t be there for Harry. I can’t sit down to the Brady Bunch family dinners with Nina.”

“So, you are breaking up with me.” Niall points out bluntly. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No. No. I don’t know. I don’t..I just..I..I just need some more time to figure it all out.” He says as he looks at Niall but the other boy refuses to look at him anymore. “I just need more time.” 

Niall stares at the ground before he glances at Zayn. “Okay.” He says quietly. 

“Okay?” 

“Okay. Take some time.” Niall says as he looks at Zayn again. “Figure it out.” He adds. “Call me when you know what you want.” He says as he hands the letter back to Zayn. “I’ll be here. For a while anyway.” Niall continues before he starts to stand up and makes his way upstairs, leaving Zayn to seek himself out alone. After all, that’s what Zayn wants, right?


	2. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker, is that so wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack of the chapter: **[Strong - One Direction](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubycGi7NUtM)**
> 
> And wey hey, enjoy! :D

_Dear Zayn,  
I know it’s weird that I’m writing you instead of just calling, but for some reason this feels easier. I don’t know maybe I just got used to the email thing while you were in New York or maybe I’m just too scared to pick up the phone but, I think we need to talk._

Niall pauses typing and shakes his head as he stares at the screen. “Ah, dumb.” He mutters to himself. And then he continues to type while reading his words loudly. “But I’d really like to talk to you.” He finishes when suddenly he sees Zayn’s name is popping up on his Skype list. “Oh my God.” 

“Niall?” Niall hears his father is calling him from his door and he shakes his head trying to shush his father. 

Bobby steps into his youngest son’s room and stares at the sight of Niall hunching in front of his computer. “Is everything all right?” He asks in concern. 

Niall shakes his head distractedly as he is still staring at the screen. “Zayn just signed on. Right there.” Niall says in a hushed tone like he is telling his father a big secret. “He sees me. He knows that I see him. This is so insane.” Niall rambles. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows in confusion. “What is? What is going on with you two?” He asks. “I know he came by the other night and he left rather suddenly. What is it, Niall?” 

Niall sighs before he turns his chair around to face his father. “Everything’s all messed up.” Niall says. “It was good when he got home. At least I thought it was and then I realized it wasn’t. We got into this stupid fight. It wasn’t even a fight. I don’t know what it was. All I know is that none of this would have happened if he hadn’t of gotten that letter.” 

“There was a letter?” Bobby asks. Suddenly feeling nervous because he remembers that Yasir had told him about Perrie’s letter. 

Niall nods. “Yes. From Juilliard. Apparently, he got a really crap evaluation from the summer program and now he says that he needs to practice everyday and that he may not have time for boyfriend which is totally not true, because I am really low maintenance when it comes to that kind of stuff, you know?” He rants as he looks at his father, searching for an answer. 

Bobby nods. “Absolutely.” He says firmly. 

“See! I know.” Niall says. “But he doesn’t even want to hear it. And now, I have to deal with tomorrow, my first day of senior year and I don’t even know if I’m in a relationship or not.” He adds before he turns back to look at the screen. “It’s like we’re standing in the same room and he won’t even talk to me.” He sighs miserably. 

Bobby steps closer to his son and pats the boy’s shoulder in assurance. “Niall, look away from the screen.” He coaxes gently. “Come on now, you can do it.” He adds as he chuckles when Niall whines. 

Niall rolls his eyes at his father. “It’s not funny.” He whines before he stomps away to his bed and plops down on it, burying his face on his pillow and groaning in frustration. 

Bobby smiles amusingly at the childish action and shakes his head. “Alright, I’m gonna tell you something that you may not believe. You ready?” He asks.

“No.” Niall replies, his voice muffled as he is still burying his face on his pillow. 

Bobby looks at his son and smiles. “You are better than this. You are.” He says firmly. “Alright, let me ask you something. If Zayn Malik didn’t exist, what would you be doing tomorrow?” He asks. “Just think for a second.” 

Niall rolls his body to lie on his back and stares at his father who is staring at him from the end of his bed. “I don’t know. See my friends, sign up for yearbook, some new photojournalism class after school. Sounded kind of fun.” He replies to his father. 

“See.” Bobby points out. 

Niall groans and starts to sit up. “Yeah, but Zayn does exist.” He points out as he looks at his father. 

“Well, yes, I know, but the point is, you have interests.” Bobby says as he steps closer and starts to sit at the edge of the bed, facing Niall. “You have talents. You had a very full life before you met Zayn. That life still exists. You just need to pick it up again and live it.” He adds. “You know, don’t get so wrapped up and wound up in a boy that you miss out on senior year.” 

Niall contemplates on his father’s words for a moment before he finally nods. “I know. You’re right.” He says as he smiles slightly at his father. 

Bobby smiles too and nods. “Alright, go to bed.” He says as he pats Niall’s arm gently before he starts to stand up and walks out from the room. 

“Thanks, Dad.” Niall says before his father leaves the room. Once his father closes the door, Niall sighs and starts to walk to his computer again. This time, he signs out from his Skype and shutdowns the computer completely before he goes to sleep. His father is right, he has a life without Zayn before this and it still exists.

**************

“Damn it!” Zayn curses as he slams closed his laptop. He doesn’t even has the chance to talk to Niall when suddenly the other boy is signing off and Zayn feels frustrated. 

“You know, I paid $1800 for that thing.” Yasir says from his spot near the door. “You might want to try hitting your pillow, it would be a lot cheaper.” He says and when Zayn just glare at him from his seat, Yasir continues. “So, what’s the official word? Have we satisfied our mandatory cooling off period or are we still fighting?” 

Zayn stands up from his seat and shrugs. “I don’t care.” He says. “You decide. I’m too tired to think about anything right now.” He adds before he plops down on his bed. 

Yasir looks at Zayn. “Well, how about this? We both realize we were wrong and we were on the way to apologize to each other so now we’re all made up and you can tell me why you were so pissed off, cause I know it’s not just about me anymore.” He points out, knowing something is bothering his son based on the frown on his son’s face. 

Zayn sighs heavily as he stares at the ceiling. “It’s Niall.” He replies to his father. 

Yasir blinks his eyes in confusion. “That’s it?” 

Zayn turns his head to look at his father and raises his eyebrows. “What? Do you want there to be more?” 

Yasir shakes his head and takes a seat on the single couch beside Zayn’s bed. “So, let’s have some specifics.” 

“You can put that chair right back where you found it.” Zayn deadpans as he looks at the hideous couch that his father is sitting on. “We’re not doing this right now.” He adds. 

“Why not? I think I could help you.” Yasir says to his eldest son. 

Zayn groans and shakes his head. “You can’t help me.” He says. 

Before Yasir can speak up again, Harry pokes his head through the door of Zayn’s room. “Dad, Dr. Horan’s at the door.” He informs his father. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows and glances at his watch. “Now, what does he wants?” He asks, looking at Harry. 

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know, but he’s wearing slippers.” He says. 

Zayn rolls his eyes at both his father and brother before he speaks up. “Can you please have this conversation outside of my room?”

**************

Yasir steps out from his front door and stands in front of Bobby. “I have already told you, Bobby, I am just not attracted to you in that way.” He jokes. 

Bobby ignores Yasir’s joke and getting straight to the point. “They don’t know about Perrie.” Bobby says. “At least Niall doesn’t know. Which doesn’t necessarily mean that Zayn doesn’t but based on events of which I have just been informed, I don’t believe he does.” He says in a hushed tone. 

“What events are you talking about?” Yasir asks in confusion. “You mean, the fight he had with Niall?” He asks the other man. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “So, you do know about the fight.” He points out. 

Yasir nods. “Of course, I know about the fight.” 

“Well, then you know about the letter, then?” Bobby asks as he looks at Yasir. 

“Of course I know…” Yasir says and stops abruptly. “What letter?” 

Bobby rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Yasir’s cluelessness. “Juilliard sent him an evaluation letter.” Bobby says. “Apparently, his performance this summer was lacklustre. Thereby, affecting the odds of him attending the university next fall. Thus explaining his foul mood.” He adds. “My toes are freezing, I have to go.” 

Yasir grips Bobby’s arm before he can walk away. “Wait a minute, how lacklustre was it? Did he fail?” He asks. “Even if he did, what does that have to do with next year?” 

“All fine questions. Perhaps you should redirect them to your son.” Bobby deadpans. Then he starts to turn around and walks away. 

Yasir shakes his head. “Wait..wait..all he told me was that he was upset with Niall. He never mentioned Juilliard, not once.” 

“Imagine my surprise.” Bobby deadpans again. “I would continue with the proverb about the apple and the tree but the hour’s late, Malik. My eyes have grown weary and these pyjamas are drafty. Good night. Good luck. I’ll see you in the morning.” He says before he turns around to leave Malik household.

**************

“So, first day of school. Excited?” Yasir asks as soon as he steps into the kitchen and finds Zayn is silently eating his breakfast. 

“Dancing inside.” Zayn deadpans sarcastically. He is in no mood to go to school since he doesn’t know how to face Niall and the fight (was it a fight?) that they had earlier was not helping to cherish his mood to go to school, at all. 

Yasir nods understandingly as he looks at his son. “You know, I was thinking about last night after our warm and fuzzy makeup session that we never really talked about how your summer went.” He starts. 

“It was fine.” Zayn replies shortly. Not really interested to talk about the Juilliard matter with his father at early in the morning. 

“Yeah, you like Juilliard?” Yasir asks. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah.” He replies shortly again. 

Yasir looks at Zayn, knowing that his eldest son is hiding about the letter and he doesn’t want to push Zayn to talk about it. Not yet. “Lived up to all of your expectations?” 

Zayn only nods and only hums in response. 

“You know, because sometimes a school like that could be difficult at first but then after a while you get used to..”

Zayn ignores his father’s ramble and starts to grab his bag on the chair. “I’m really late.” He says before he walks out of the door.

**************

Zayn spots the familiar blonde-hair, the lithe figure that is walking in front of him and he jogs a bit to catch up with the boy. “Hey, Zayn Malik. We met a couple of years ago.” He says, trying to catch Niall’s attention and Niall turns around to look at him. 

“Yeah, I seem to remember you. I think you had, uh, blonde-streak hair.” Niall deadpans. 

Zayn rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless. “I’m never gonna live that one down, am I?” He asks, trying to talk to Niall tentatively, hoping that Niall still want to talk to him. 

Niall shakes his head. “No.” He teases and smiles slightly at Zayn, making the other boy feels grateful that Niall is such an easy going person to deal with. Zayn expected that Niall would be reluctant to talk to him again but apparently, the smaller boy just acting like he used to with Zayn. 

They both start to walk towards the school building side by side after that and Zayn glances at Niall before he starts to talk again. “So, I saw you online last night.” He blurts out. 

Niall feels his cheeks flustered. “Really?” He asks, trying to play dumb, like he has no idea what Zayn is talking about. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, I was gonna IM you last night but I couldn’t think of anything to say and then I realized how much I suck at typing so..” He trails off. 

Niall shakes his head and smiles slightly at the other boy. “Zayn, I know you have a lot on your plate right now.” He says as he looks at Zayn. “You don’t have to feel like I’m pressuring you or anything.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I don’t, I don’t feel like you’re pressuring me. I..”

“No, seriously, don’t worry.” Niall says before they both continue to walk again. 

Before Zayn can say anything else, there are two other boys that are approaching them. Or approaching Niall, to be exact. 

“Niall, thank God you’re here.” One of the boys says. “They completely messed up my schedule. We’re not in Fizinger’s class together.” 

“What happened?” Niall asks curiously. 

“Total drama. Don’t worry, I’m totally all over it.” The boy says. “Hi, Zayn.” He adds when he notices Zayn is standing beside Niall. 

Zayn waves and nods. “Hey.” He says simply. To be honest, he doesn’t really feel comfortable with Niall’s friends. But the problem is, it seems like everyone _is_ Niall’s friend and he has to deal with that. 

The boy starts to tug on Niall’s sleeve and the other one is shoving Niall’s bag lightly for him to keep moving. “Come on, we’re gonna go set up for Homecoming Committee. You have to help us to pick up the band.” 

Niall shakes his head and chuckles. “Okay.” He says to his friends before he turns around briefly to wave Zayn off. 

Zayn stands awkwardly at the middle of the hallway as he waves back to Niall. “Okay, so I’ll, uh, see you later.” He says, shouting slightly so that Niall can hear him. 

Niall nods. “Yeah, yeah. Uh, find me.” He replies simply before he turns around again and leaves with his friends.

**************

Nina knocks on the door once before she opens it and finds Zayn at the kitchen stool, just hanging up from the phone. “You mind? My machine just quit when it almost done.” Nina says as she points at the laundry basket that she’s bringing along with her. “Who you were calling?” She asks. 

“Mr. Ackerman.” Zayn replies shortly as he puts the phone back to its receiver. 

“First day of school and you’re already on the phone with principal?” Nina asks. “That’s gotta be a record.” 

Zayn shrugs and starts to scratch some things on his paper with a pen before he replies to Nina. “Just rearranging my schedule. They’re letting me drop a couple of electives.” He explains. 

Nina raises her eyebrows. “Really? How come?” She asks curiously. 

“For piano. I’ll be done after 5th period now. Which means I can hit the garage a few minutes early, which means I’ll have more time for Niall, which means I might not screw up the one thing I was excited for coming back for this year.” Zayn says. “Which I obviously would have screwed up if I hadn’t of done, what I just did.” He adds. 

Nina stares at Zayn and shakes her head. “I know you just said something there. Just give me a minute and I’ll figure it out.” 

Zayn shakes his head and grins. “It’s a balancing act, Nina. It’s all very fragile. School, piano, Niall. I thought that I needed more time but I don’t need time.” He says. “The answer is obvious.” 

Nina raises her eyebrows curiously. “It is? What is it?” 

“It’s Niall. Niall comes first.” Zayn says firmly. “I have to let him know that he’s my number one priority.” He adds. “And if dropping economics is the only way to do that, then I’ll have to survive without economics. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go conquer Chopin before tonight.” 

Nina looks at Zayn with wide eyes. “Oh, what’s tonight?” 

Zayn smiles and shakes his head. “Uh, it’s a surprise.”

**************

Zayn is bouncing happily as he steps out of his car and walks his way through Horan’s front yard before he reaches the front door. He knocks twice before someone opens the door and he smiles widely at the person. 

“Hey, Mrs. Horan. How are you?” Zayn greets politely. 

Maura smiles and nods. “Fine. What brings you by?” She asks. 

“Two movie tickets.” Zayn says as he waves the tickets in front of the woman. “Ah, I know what you’re thinking, it’s a school night but it is only 45 minutes away. We could leave before the encore. I promise I’ll have him back before 11.”

Maura shakes her head and looks at Zayn in confusion. “Niall’s not here, Zayn.” She says. “He went out with some friends a while ago. Something about a first day of school celebration. I assumed you’d be there with him.” 

Zayn’s smile falters and he tries his best to hide his disappointment in front of Niall’s mother. “Yeah, uh, well, I’m not.” He stammers, suddenly feeling awkward about the situation. 

Maura looks at the boy sympathetically. “Well, I’ll tell him you came by.” She says gently. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll just, uh, tell him when I see him tomorrow at school.” He says before he starts to turn around and leaves the house.

**************

“Oh, yeah, you got nothing.” Louis says to the television screen as he watches the football match from his bed lazily. He startles slightly when his mother knocks on the door and calls out for him. “Hold on, just a sec.” He says, quickly standing up from his bed, switching off the television and runs to his study desk, pretending to do something. “Oh, hey, just, uh, doing a little reading.” Louis says to his mother when she enters the room. 

Maura raises her eyebrows. “The Holy Bible?” She asks sceptically. 

Louis nods. “Yeah. There’s a, uh, religion seminar I was thinking about attending.” He lies. “Just brushing up on my Jesus.” 

“You can stop now before you commit any actual blasphemy.” Maura deadpans. “I know you didn’t sign up for your classes.” 

And that’s when Louis stops pretending to read. “How’d you know?” He asks. 

“I’m your mother. It’s my job to know.” Maura points out. 

Louis turns to face his mother and sighs. “I’m sorry, mom, but it just didn’t feel right, you know.” He says. “I went down there, but I was like, what’s the point. Signing up for all these classes. I don’t even know what they’re for, you know. I mean, how am I supposed to decide if I need English Comp or Physics when I don’t even know what I want to do with my life.” He admits truthfully. 

Maura looks at her son and shakes her head. “Louis..” 

Louis shakes his head at his mother before he continues. “I know that there’s something out there that I’ll be good at.” He says. “I just don’t know what it is right now. I need a little more time to figure that out. You know. And if I thought MCC would help me with that, mom, I would be there is a heartbeat.” He adds. “But I don’t want to go just for the sake of going.” 

“College is important, Louis.” Maura says. “It’s about more than just the academics.” She points out. 

“Real college is.” Louis argues back. “I mean, that’s why I busted my ass last year so I could go to Notre Dame.” He says. “The thought of spending 6 hours a day at a community college is a big reminder of how bad I messed up my life.” 

Maura nods understandingly. “I just wish you’d told us.” She says, looking at her son softly. 

Louis sighs again. “I know. It’s just hard with dad and everything.” 

“Don’t you worry about your father.” Maura says. “He’ll come around once we have a plan.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows. “We?” 

Maura nods. “You and I are gonna figure this out together.” She says. “We’ll tell your father when the time is right.” She adds. “And just take it easy on yourself.”

**************

“You, uh, you wanna see a movie later?” Zayn asks Niall when they meet at the school’s parking lot the next morning. 

Niall raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Really?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, uh, maybe the 9 o’clock. I thought maybe we could.” He says casually. 

Niall smiles and nods. “Sure. Yeah.” He says, starting to grin at the thought of spending time with Zayn again. It has been a while (just for days but for him, it’s a while so..). 

Zayn smiles back at Niall and gives him a thumb up. “Cool.” 

Niall grins happily but he stops walking abruptly before he shakes his head. “Oh, damn it. I can’t. I’ve got this, umm, orientation thing for newspaper.” He says before they start to walk again. “Sorry.” He apologizes. 

Zayn shrugs. “All right, that’s cool. Whatever.” He says dismissively. 

Niall glances at Zayn who is now walking a step ahead of him, obviously striding in an angry manner. “You mad now?” He asks. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I’m not mad. Curious?” He says before he stops walking and turns around to face Niall. “The other day when you said you’d give me some time to figure things out, was that just a total lie or did you at least think you were telling the truth?” He spits. 

“What?” Niall asks in confusion. 

“It hasn’t even been a week and you’re already on Homecoming Committee, Yearbook staff and newspaper.” Zayn points out. “I….You obviously don’t have time for me anywhere so I’m curious.” He says, his voice getting slightly higher because he is upset. “Do you not care about this relationship at all anymore?” 

Niall shakes his head. “First of all, I wasn’t even aware that we were back in a relationship.” He points out. 

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do?!” Zayn yells out in frustration. “I dropped two classes so I could get home earlier to practice. I sacrificed my entire schedule so that we could spend more time together and you turned your schedule into something the President couldn’t even handle. Not that that’s saying much.” 

“How am I supposed to know that you dropped two classes when you didn’t even tell me?” Niall asks, starting to get mad at Zayn too. 

“I was trying to surprise you!” Zayn replies. “God, if I knew that you would be filling up your days with all this crap then I wouldn’t have. Believe me.” He adds. 

“Screw you, Zayn!” Niall spits out. “Just because I don’t spend my free time perfecting my craft or whatever doesn’t mean that what I do is crap!” He says madly. “You told me to go away! You said you needed time and space, which is exactly what I’ve been trying to give you.” 

“I never said go away.” Zayn says defensively. 

“You never said anything!” Niall points out. “That’s the problem. You can’t just go off and do things without telling me and expect me to wait around for you. I’ve done that before with guys. I’m not gonna do it again. I know you think piano is like the only thing in the entire world..”

“No, I don’t!” Zayn yells. 

Niall looks at Zayn furiously. “My life is just as important to me as yours is to you!” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, it’s fine! Let me be there for you in your big crisis moment when you can’t decide what the Homecoming theme should be!” Zayn snaps and when a hurt expression flashes across Niall’s face for a second, Zayn suddenly realizes on his mistake. “I didn’t…I didn’t..look, I didn’t mean that, okay? I just..I’ve been trying so hard to.” 

“Well, maybe you should stop trying so hard.” Niall snaps. “God, if this relationship is such a burden maybe we just shouldn’t have one.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t.” Zayn says before both of them part their ways to the school building, not even glancing at each other once after the argument.

**************

Niall looks at the clothes that are hanging in his closet lifelessly and startles a bit when he hears his father’s voice is calling for him. 

“Niall? Come on, it’s almost 7:30.” Bobby says. “For God’s sake you’re gonna be late..” He trails off when he steps into Niall’s room and finds his son standing in front of his closet silently. “You okay?” He asks worriedly when he sees a gloomy expression on Niall’s face. 

Niall turns around and starts to lean on the closet before he crosses his arms over his chest. “We broke up.” He says quietly. 

“Oh, Nialler.” 

“I did what you said. Made myself busy. Got a whole life thing.” Niall says as he starts to slide down the closet to sit on the floor. “The only problem is he went and made himself un-busy. He changed his entire schedule just so that he could be with me and now I’m stuck doing newspaper and yearbook and Homecoming Committee.” He says as he looks at his father. “I hate Homecoming.” 

Bobby crouches in front of his son and shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I know this feels horrible right now but, well, maybe this is for the best. Maybe it won’t be so difficult with another boy.” 

“There is no other boy, it’s not like that.” Niall says firmly. “I know you think I’m shallow but..”

“I never said that.” Bobby says firmly. 

“And maybe you’re right.” Niall says. “You probably are.” He adds. “It’s probably really bad that the only things that makes me happy is the thought of being with Zayn but it’s true. I can fill my schedule with a thousand different things. I could study more and play guitar more and do all of that stuff but the fact is none of those things make me even one tenth as happy as the thought of being with Zayn even if it is for only 20 minutes. Even if I have to wait around.” He continues. “I know it sounds awful.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t.” He says and smiles slightly at his son. “It sounds like you’re in love.” 

Niall blinks back his tears and sighs heavily as he looks at his father. “What do I do?” He asks miserably. 

“Well, if this is what you want, then I think you should mount a full offensive. Muster all of your resources.” Bobby says as he looks at his youngest son. “You know what? You don’t need me to tell you what to do. You’ll figure it out.” He adds before he leans to kiss Niall’s temple briefly and starts to stand up, leaving the room.

**************

“Hey, how about a goodbye?” 

Zayn turns around to find his father on the steps. “Bye.” He says simply before he reaches the doorknob. 

“What’s wrong with you now?” Yasir asks. 

“Nothing.” Zayn replies simply. “What’s wrong with you?” 

Yasir shakes his head. “Nothing.” He replies simply before he starts to walk towards the kitchen. 

“Who’s taking me to school?” Harry asks when he steps down the stairs and looks between his father and brother. 

“Zayn is.” Yasir says from the kitchen. 

Zayn looks at Harry. “Come on, Harry. From now on, you’re going to school with me.” He says. 

Harry nods and raises his eyebrows as he looks at Zayn’s gloomy expression. “You okay?” He asks. 

“Broke up with Niall.” Zayn replies simply. 

“Already?” 

Zayn glares at his younger brother. “Shut up, Harry.”

**************

“What in the world is going on?” Maura yells as she steps out to her backyard only to find his eldest son is having a party with his friends. 

“Hang on, mom.” Louis shouts from the pool that he is in at the moment. 

“Oh my God, we love your house.” One of the girls from the pool says to Maura. 

Maura shakes her head disbelievingly and she pulls out the plug from the big stereo nearby the door. “Everybody out! Now!” She barks and all of the kids scramble around before they leave the backyard. Maura strides angrily towards the pool and stares at her eldest son. “You have got some nerve..”

“What did I do?” Louis whines. 

“All that blather about finding your purpose. All you were trying to do is to extend your summer vacation and use my home as your own personal resort!” Maura points out angrily. “Well, that ends right now.” She says firmly. “Thought you could butter me up with your sweet talk, but our deal is over. I do not enjoy being played for a patsy, Louis. Do you hear me?” 

“Mom, I wasn’t trying to..”

“You are supposed to be at a low point, young man.” Maura says. “I suggest you start acting like it.” She adds before she turns around and leaves Louis alone at the backyard to clean up his own mess.

**************

Yasir steps into Bobby’s office and takes a seat in front of the other doctor. “Listen, Bobby, I’m gonna tell Zayn about Perrie.” 

“Oh, boy.” Bobby mutters. 

“Let me finish.” Yasir says. “I came to Mullingar for one specific reason – to build a relationship with my kids. It’s what Julia wanted and it’s what she knew I needed. And that was starting to happen.” He adds. “But now, it’s like I’m living in this time warp and all the progress that we’ve made over the last two years is just shot to hell. I mean, he won’t talk to me. I can’t talk to him. It’s like there’s this wall between us and I put it there, the day I decided not to tell him that Perrie was pregnant.” He continues as he looks at Bobby. “I did that and I need to undo it before our relationship turns into..”

“Turns into what?” Bobby asks. 

Yasir sighs heavily. “Turns into what I saw in there today.” He says, referring to the patient’s case that he was treating earlier. “Trust me, Bobby, this is the right thing to do.” 

Bobby stares at Yasir for a moment before he speaks up. “It may have been. If you came to me two months ago and asked my opinion, I might have told you to tell Zayn the truth or I might not have. I don’t know. I can’t imagine how you’ve handled it these last two months let alone these last two years all by yourself.” He admits truthfully. 

“Where are you going with this?” Yasir asks in confusion. 

“The fact is, you don’t have to figure this one out on your own. You’ve brought me into it, so allow me to be here for you now and to aid you in this decision.” Bobby says before he continues. “Do not tell Zayn.” 

“Bobby..”

Bobby shakes his head firmly. “This isn’t for only for Niall’s sake. Although, naturally that is my concern. The fact is you can’t undo what you did. Telling Zayn now isn’t gonna make this any better for him, only be better for you.” 

“That’s not what this is about.” Yasir says. 

“You wanted your boy to have a chance at a normal childhood, an opportunity to be happy.” Bobby points out. “Well, that’s a very real possibility for him right now.” He says. “They’re in love.” 

Yasir sighs. “Well, that may well be true, but nonetheless.”

“No, it’s more than that.” Bobby says firmly. “It’s remarkable. The fact that after everything they’ve endured that they’ve managed to salvage any hope at all.” He points out. “Allow them this brief period of time to enjoy their youth, the innocence that should come along with it. Lord knows they deserve it.” 

Yasir contemplates on Bobby’s words for a moment before he finally nods. “You know that Perrie could come back at any time or call.” 

“You can’t control that.” Bobby says understandingly. “What you can control is what you do today, right now. Start over with Zayn. Make a clean slate of it.” He says. “Don’t let this one incident with Perrie prevent you from doing that.”

**************

Niall bites his nails nervously as he approaches the boy in front of his locker. He steps closer to the boy and clears his throat to announce his presence, making Zayn turns to look at him. “I quit yearbook.” Niall blurts out suddenly. 

“Damn. I just signed up.” Zayn says. 

Niall’s eyes goes wide before he burst out laughing at their ridiculousness. God, what an idiot pair they are. “Sorry.” He apologizes to Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” 

Niall stares at Zayn and sighs. “I just got so caught up in trying to prove how much I could do without you, I forgot how much I didn’t want to do it without you.” He admits truthfully. 

Zayn nods understandingly. “I shouldn’t have changed my schedule without asking you.” He says. 

Niall shrugs. “Shouldn’t have yelled.” He apologizes. 

Zayn smirks slightly at that comment. “No, yelling’s a part of your charm.” He teases before he turns serious again. “You shouldn’t have to drop yearbook or any of that stuff if it makes you happy.” He says as he looks at Niall. “We’ll figure it out. We just gotta remember to talk to each other and be honest and stuff like that. Like the other night, I should have told you that I came by your place. The night you went out with your clique. That’s why I was such a jerk the next day.” Zayn says, trying to come clean to his boyfriend. 

“I write you like 15 emails. Didn’t send any.” Niall admits sheepishly. “Some of them are pretty damn good.” He adds. 

Zayn chuckles and shakes his head. “So basically, we’re both crazy.” He points out. 

Niall laughs and nods. “Yeah.” He says. “The irony of it is I don’t even remember what was going on in any of those meetings cause I was too busy thinking about you to pay attention.” He admits with a slight blush on his cheeks. 

Zayn smiles fondly at the other boy and nods. “Well, I haven’t been able to practice for a week because all I’ve been thinking about is you.” He says as he steps closer to Niall. “What’s that all about?” He whispers as he leans his face closer to Niall’s. 

Niall stares at Zayn’s eyes and whispers in return. “I don’t know.” 

Zayn takes a step closer and pulls in Niall’s face to kiss him and the other boy is gladly return the kiss. “By the way, how do you feel about PDA?” Zayn asks when they pull away as they are standing at the middle of school’s hallway at the moment. 

Niall pouts, pretending to think before he nods. “I feel good about it.” He says and grins. 

Zayn smiles and nods. “Good.” He says before he pulls Niall in for another kiss.

**************

“Don’t give up on me.” Louis says as he stands in front of his mother’s office. 

Maura tilts her head up from her desk and looks at his eldest son. “I’m not giving up on you. I’m just disappointed.” She says. 

Louis nods understandingly. “You have every right to be. I screwed up.” He says. “Not just the other day, but, you know, in general. And I want to fix it. I really do, mom, but I need your help.” 

“I can’t help you unless you take on some responsibility yourself.” Maura says. “That’s what I was trying to say the other day.” 

“I know.” Louis says as he steps closer towards his mother’s desk. “That’s why I, uh, went to the bookstore and I got these.” He says as he pulls out two books from his bag and gives them to his mother. “FYI, the one about cheese, uh, it’s not really about cheese. It’s metaphorical.” He explains. “Also, I was hoping you could help me put together a resume. I mean, I don’t really have anything real to put on it just yet, but uh, you know, maybe we could figure something out because I think I need a job.” 

Maura nods in agreement. “A job would be good.” She says. “But there’s just one thing.”

“Dad.” Louis points out. 

Maura nods again. “You have to tell him the truth.” 

Louis sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” He says. “But I mean, if you think he would take it better coming from you then I’m totally cool with that.” 

“Not a chance.” Maura says. 

“Damn.” Louis mutters.

**************

“Hey.” Zayn says as he finds his father standing in front of the door. 

“Hey.” Yasir says. “Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. You can come in if you want.” 

Yasir steps inside and looks at his eldest son. “I take it from you mood that, uh, things are going better with Niall.” He points out. 

Zayn nods and smiles. “Yeah. All that staff got worked out.” 

Yasir nods before he starts to speak up. “I did something I need to talk to you about.” He starts. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows as he looks at his father. “Well, that doesn’t sound good.” 

“First of all, I know about your Juilliard evaluation.” Yasir says. 

Zayn sighs. He knows that his secret will be out sooner or later. “Yeah, I wanted to tell you about the evaluation as soon as I got home.” He admits. “I did. It’s just you built this whole thing. You were all excited about me being a genius, I didn’t want to disappoint you.” 

“You could never disappoint me, Zayn.” Yasir says firmly. 

“Yeah, well, I disappointed myself.” Zayn points out. “I guess we both just have to accept the fact that I’m average, which is fine.” 

Yasir shakes his head firmly. “Nothing about you is average. Not the way you play, certainly not your level of ambition. I mean you were willing to give up your relationship to get more practice time. No average kid would do that.” 

“But the people at Juilliard said..”

“Oh, who cares what they said.” Yasir says, cutting Zayn off. “They told you you would never make it this far and you worked your butt off and proved them wrong. You’ll do it again.” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, I’m sorry I blew up at you the other day.” He apologizes. “Just keeping this stuff inside makes me go crazy.” He admits. 

“I know. You’re not the only one who’s been keeping secrets.” Yasir says. “Which leads me to the second part of this discussion.” He adds. “I yelled at your Juilliard’s professor.”

Zayn blinks once. Twice. Before he can process on his father’s words. “You what?” 

Yasir shrugs. “Well, I..when I found out about your evaluation, I called them up just to see what was going on and he was so arrogant and so rude that I..”

“Well, I guess that my audition just got a little tougher.” Zayn says. 

Yasir nods and smiles apologetically. “Sorry.” 

Zayn shrugs easily. “It’s alright. I like a challenge.” He says, not really mad at his father. It is true that some of the professors at Juilliard are really rude. 

Yasir chuckles slightly and stares at his eldest son. “I need to be able to talk to you, Zayn.” He says. “And I know you’re getting older and you’re working things out for yourself and I respect that, at least, I’m trying to.” He adds. “But recently, this just isn’t working for me and it’s not because I want to control your life or that I want to parent you to death. It’s because I miss you.” He continues. “I need to be a part of your life and I need you to be a part of mine. It’s important.” 

Zayn nods understandingly. “I know. I’ll try.” 

“Thanks. Well, I’ll let you get back to practicing.” Yasir says before he turns around to leave. 

“Dad?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you for telling me about the phone call.” Zayn says. “I probably would have never found out otherwise.” 

Yasir nods. “No problem.” He says. But if only Zayn knows what the other secret is….


	3. Ooh I can't believe that it's so simple, It feels so natural to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from: **[McFly - Love is Easy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APlPjz9Ry84&feature=kp)**
> 
> This chapter is not really heavy and it seems perfect to end my busy week. Hope you guys will enjoy the easy feels for now too. Cause we all know this story is not all sunshine and rainbow :D

The Malik’s kitchen is filled with the sounds of spoons clattered as everyone is in their own little minds while having their breakfast. “I think I’m done with school.” Harry says, breaking the silence as he toys around with cereals in the bowl. 

Yasir stops his reading and glances at his youngest son to his left. “You can’t be done. You’re only in high school. I went to school for 27 years.” He points out to Harry. 

Harry turns his head to glance at his father and shrugs. “So? That was your bad decision.” He deadpans. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows curiously. “What’s the problem, Hazza?” He asks gently, knowing that something is bothering his youngest son. 

Harry shakes his head slightly and sighs before he starts to speak up. “Everyone’s mean to each other.” He says. “It’s a nightmare.” Harry adds. “And it’s only a week after the school started.” He continues. 

“Yeah? You want to see nightmare? Come by my office.” Yasir says. “Everytime I leave Bobby and Maggie alone together, I’m afraid I may come back to a body count.” He jokes. 

Harry sighs again, not finding his father’s joke to be funny at the moment. “I think I need to find new friend to hang out with.” He says. 

Yasir nods, agreeing with his youngest son. The perks of living in the small town is he seems to know everyone that goes to the same school and his sons and some kids are just mean. “You’re right. But you still gotta go to school. Go get dressed.” He says. Harry drops his spoon in the bowl and sighs again before he leaves the kitchen grumpily. 

“What’s up with that?” Zayn asks, as he manages to catch a glimpse of the end of conversation between his father and Harry. He watches as Harry is literally stomping on his way to his room to get ready for the school. 

Yasir turns around to look at Zayn. “Problem at school. Think you need to look after him because he seems pretty lost this year. Find him a new friend.” He adds. 

Zayn walks around the kitchen stool to grab the box of cereal and nods. “Yeah, maybe I can ask Niall. You know how friendly Niall is. I don’t think he has a problem to be friend with Harry too. Maybe they can hang out together at school too.” Zayn says, hoping that Niall won’t stuck to his old clique only.

**************

“Let’s go.” Zayn says to Harry who is waiting for him on the steps to go to school together. Apparently, Zayn feels bad that he didn’t notice earlier, albeit it is only the second week of school but he feels like a bad brother as he didn’t notice that Harry is struggling to fit into the new year of school. And that’s when he decides that he can hang with Harry now at school, at least Louis did that with Niall and he can do it with Harry too, right?

**************

“So, how are your classes going?” Zayn asks, glancing to his left to look at his younger brother.

Harry shrugs casually. “They’re okay.” He replies simply. 

“You have uh, any teachers you like or you don’t like?” Zayn asks again, trying to keep the conversation going. 

“Yeah. Uh, I like some of them. Some of them I don’t like..too.” Harry replies easily. 

Zayn nods and stop walking as they reach in front of the school building. “Alright, well, I’m uh gonna get going..”

“Hey you.” Niall greets bouncily as he approaches both of them. 

Both Zayn and Harry turn around to look at the boy with a wide smile plastered on his face, waving happily at them. 

“Hey.” Harry replies, still feeling a little awkward around Niall. Yes, he has known Niall almost the same time as his brother has known the boy but Harry feels like he is not cool enough to hang out with Niall cause the older boy is totally opposite of his personality. 

Niall smiles brighten as he notices Harry is with Zayn. “Hey, Harry. How’s it going?” He asks warmly and that’s why Harry had thought that Niall is totally opposite of himself. Niall is loud and bubbly and friendly and have too many friends all over while Harry is more reserved, withdrawn, and don’t have any friend. Not at the moment. Apparently all of his friends disappeared over the break, claiming that he is too nerd to hang out with them again. Not that Harry minds, but it still hurts to hear that his appearance can be the reason why people doesn’t want to hang out with him. 

Harry nods, trying to hide his awkwardness and he also try to smile (hoping not too awkwardly) as the bell rings. “Okay. I’ll see you guys at the lunch table?” He asks hesitantly, glancing between Niall and Zayn. 

Zayn nods. “See you there.” And Harry watches as Niall smiles at him again. “See ya.”

**************

Harry is struggling with his locker combination when he hears a bright “Hi,” from Niall who is suddenly appears beside him.

“I’m sorry. Am I in your way?” Harry asks hesitantly. 

Niall shakes his head. “No. No. Not at all.” He says quickly. He doesn’t know why he feels quite awkward around Harry. Maybe because he is Zayn’s brother and to be honest, Niall didn’t even try to make friends with the younger boy before and he suddenly feels bad about it. “Do you need some help?’ He asks, pointing at Harry’s locker. “What’s your combination?” 

Harry shifts slightly to let Niall to take over his spot in front of the locker. “Um, 42-28-42.” 

Niall nods and with a slight force, he manages to open the locker and smiles at Harry. “Just got to remember to pull it up.” He says. “So where are you headed now?” 

“Biology.” Harry replies, looking at his timetable in his hand for confirmation. 

Niall nods. “Cool, I’ll walk with you.” He offers. 

Harry, even though he feels a little weird at Niall’s sudden interest to talk to him, especially at school, just nods. “Okay.” 

Niall glances at the quiet boy beside him and smiles again. “So how are you liking high school? I know it’s kind of hard getting used to a new change and all. I think I remember how everyone changed once high school started. But some people are pretty friendly, right?” 

Harry nods and shrugs. “Yeah, you’re nice.” He says sincerely. 

Niall nods understandingly when Harry doesn’t point out anyone else and he turns to his side to face Harry. “You know what you need?” He asks the younger boy. 

Harry raises his eyebrows as he looks at Niall. “Please don’t say a breath mint.” 

Niall laughs and shakes his head. “No.” He says. “A proper crush. I’m telling you, it’s the best way to get psyched on a high school. You find someone you’re excited to see every day and it gives you a reason to dress nice.” 

Harry groans and shakes his head. “You’re talking about my hideous beanie and glasses right? I look like a total nerd, right?” He asks. 

Niall’s eyes go wide as he can feel Harry has misunderstood his words. “No. No. What I mean is, we’re gonna find you someone who totally gets you and your beanie and those hipster-geeky glasses.” He points out. 

Harry shakes his head, knowing that his cheeks are starting to feel hot after Niall’s words. “Um, I don’t really do boyfriends. Or, I mean, have them.” He admits quietly. 

Niall grins. “Not a boyfriend. Just a crush. A date.” He says. 

“I’ve never been on a date.” Harry admits. He doesn’t know why he keeps blurting out his answer to Niall but it must have something to do with the light that comes out from Niall’s eyes. The way he looks at Harry like Harry is his old best friend already. It warms Harry’s heart and makes him so open to Niall. 

Niall agapes and looks at Harry with a wide eyes. “Are you serious?” He asks disbelievingly. It’s not that Harry is not an attractive boy. He is tall, charming and though his choice of outfits is quite rare but he is quite attractive in Niall’s opinion. Although, Zayn is more than that but that’s not the point here. “This is even more perfect than I thought.” Niall adds suddenly. ‘It’s great. You know what. Don’t worry about it. I will find the perfect guy and I will plan the date.” He says with a blinding smile as he looks at Harry.

**************

Niall looks up from his reading when Zayn stops playing midway of his song. He raises his eyebrows at his boyfriend. “You know, you practice so often, you’d think you wouldn’t suck so bad.” He teases.

Zayn turns around and starts to make his way to the couch where Niall is sitting with a book on his lap. “You study so much, you’d think you’d realize that guys don’t care if you’re too smart.” He teases in return and Niall punches his arm. “Whoa, what did we say about hitting?” He says as he puts his arm on the couch and shifts his body slightly to face Niall. 

Niall tilts his head slightly to look at Zayn and smiles. “What do you think about Luke Hemmings? Do you think he’s cute?”

Zayn hums while he plays with Niall’s hair as he speaks up. “Well, I should make something clear right off the bat. I don’t do threesomes.” He deadpans. 

Niall snorts and shakes his head. “For Harry?” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Harry likes Luke?” He asks. He knows Harry likes boys, but he doesn’t think that Harry has mentioned anything about liking someone lately. Or maybe he is just too busy to notice. 

“No. Not yet. But he could.” Niall says. “I’m trying to find the right person for our double date. He’s kind of funny, right?” 

“Whoa, whoa, wait. Back up. Double date?” Zayn asks confusingly. 

Niall nods as he looks at Zayn. “Tomorrow night.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “What are you doing Niall?” 

“Nothing.” Niall says. “Helping. I just feel like Harry is cool and I’m just trying to start to befriend with him.” He adds. “Besides, double dates are great. Mixes it up a bit.” 

“We don’t need to mix it up and you don’t need to be friends with Harry.” Zayn says firmly. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Do you not want me to be friends with Harry?” He asks. 

“No, it’s not that I don’t want you to be friends with Harry, it’s just I don’t see it. You guys have nothing in common.” Zayn points out. “Besides, neither do him and Luke for that matter. He’s all wrong for him. Besides, I think he’s dating that Calum kid.” 

Niall shakes his head. “No, not anymore.” 

Zayn shrugs. “Well, even still I think he’s wrong for him.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Okay, Mr. Insightful, all of a sudden.” He says. “Who do you think is the right guy for him?” 

Zayn shrugs again. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s tough. He’s quiet, but he’s also kind of special.” 

“Special how?” Niall asks curiously. 

Zayn looks at Niall and shakes his head. “You wouldn’t understand.” He says. “You’ve never been through the kind of stuff that he’s going through. You know what I mean. Not that you haven’t been through stuff. Obviously you’ve been through stuff, but it’s different, you know. He’s in this new phase of age and he’s lost.” 

“Oh, that’s right, because I’ve never felt lost or alone or sad in my entire life.” Niall deadpans. 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” 

Niall sighs and shakes his head. “Whatever. You know what, go play your piano and do your thing. I have another chapter to read.” He says, turning his head to stare at his book again instead of Zayn.

**************

“Don’t worry. He’s coming. We have plenty of time. Go like this.” Niall says as he tries to put some gel on Harry’s hair.

“You ready to get this party started? Where’s my little underage hottie?” 

Harry’s eyes go wide as he hears the familiar’s voice and he turns around quickly to see the boy at the door. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” Louis replies shortly. 

Zayn glances between Niall and Louis from his spot near Niall’s study desk. “You’re Mr. Wonderful?” 

Niall clasps his hands, ignoring everyone’s quesions and starts to pull on his jacket. “So, uh, great. We’re all here. Harry, you know Louis, right?” He asks and Harry nods. 

“How’s it going?” Louis asks and Harry just nods silently. “Um, I’m gonna go get the car started. I’ll see you guys out there.” The older boy says before he leaves the room. 

Harry grins and nods. “Cool beans.” He says. Once Louis leaves, Harry turns to face Niall. “You’re setting me up for a date with Louis?” 

Niall smiles and nods. “Yeah. He said okay when I asked him and so…plus he said you were hot.” He says, smiling at Harry. 

Harry tries to contain his excitement since Zayn is in the room too and he shakes his head. “I’m gonna have to pee 30 times tonight. My bladder gets all weird when I get nervous.” He says before he walks out of the room to go to the toilet. 

Zayn stands up from the chair and walks over towards Niall. “Louis said Harry was hot?” He asks sceptically. 

Niall swallows nervously before he starts to answer. “Uh, not exactly. But he asked about Harry. Asked what Harry was like or something. I took that as a sign of interest.” He explains. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What about Luke Hemmings?” 

Niall shakes his head. “He couldn’t make it.” 

“There was nobody else, in the whole school? State?” Zayn asks. 

“Everyone’s dating someone right now.” Niall replies. “But it’ll be fine. Besides you never know, there could be sparks.” He says, trying to be positive and grins at Zayn. 

Zayn rolls his eyes and snorts. Couple of years of knowing Louis, he thinks he knows what Louis’s type of date is, but one little date won’t hurt, right? Maybe it’ll turns out fun.

**************

“And, um, Louis also had Mr. Chapman for biology, didn’t you, Louis?” Niall asks, glancing between Louis and Harry at the table.

Louis nods. “I did.” He replies shortly. 

“That’s so funny.” Harry says. “I mean, like how coincidences are funny.” He adds. 

Niall and Zayn look at each other and Zayn almost bangs his head on the table because of the awkwardness that surrounds him. It is now obvious to everyone (well, maybe except for Harry) that Louis is not interested to stay one more minute for the double date thing. 

“I gotto go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” Harry suddenly says as he stands up and walks towards the bathroom. 

“Oh my God.” Louis groans as he looks at Niall once Harry leaves the table. 

Niall sighs. “Let it go, Louis.” 

“Oh, yeah. Believe me, it’s gone.” Louis says. “Yeah, so I’ll be over at the jukebox.” He adds. “If anyone needs me feel free the corpse out of here when the date’s over.” 

Niall groans and bangs his head on the table once Louis leaves them alone and looks up at Zayn. “I’m sorry.” He apologizes. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “For what?” 

“For making this double date thing. I thought Harry and Louis will be a perfect match or something. I mean, they seem clicked right on before.” Niall says and sighs. 

Zayn laughs and shakes his head. “As a friend, maybe. I mean, can you count on how many times they hang out before this? I don’t think it’s even more than 3 times plus both of them never did show any interest for each other. I guess.” He adds. 

Niall sighs again and lifts up his head to face Zayn. “I feel bad. I mean, all I could think about is to befriend with Harry and now I might ruin the chance and…”

“Niall, what this is all about?” Zayn asks, cutting Niall off. He knows something is wrong since Niall is a little bit too obsessive with this ‘friend’ thing with Harry all of a sudden. “Why are you so adamant to make friend with Harry?” He asks curiously. 

Niall shakes his head and shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m just..I just want to get along with your family too. I mean, I want them to like me too.” He admits. 

“My dad likes you.” Zayn points out. 

“Yeah, but Harry seems to be still distant himself towards me.” Niall points out. “And I remember how he was close with Perrie when you were with her. And how he was always with you two and he loves Perrie and sad when she was gone and…” He rambles on. 

“Niall.” Zayn cutting his boyfriend’s ramble and his face starts to break into a grin as he looks at Niall amusingly. “Oh my God.” He says in a realization on why Niall is acting like this. 

Niall’s eyes go wide when Zayn chuckles at him and he realizes that he was rambling on about Perrie. “Shut up, don’t say it.” He warns, trying to glare at Zayn. 

Zayn laughs and shakes his head. “You’re jealous.” He points out. 

“No.” Niall replies defensively.

“Yes, you do.” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“Yes, you do.” 

Niall shakes his head. “No. I thought….” He trails off before he sighs. “Never mind.” 

Zayn smiles fondly at the boy in front of him and shakes his head on how cute Niall looks with a flustered cheeks at the moment. “Niall.” He starts as he reaches Niall’s hand on the table, holding it gently. “You’re crazy, you know that?” 

Niall bites his lips and nods. “Yes, occasionally.” 

“Hey, first of all, even if Harry loved Perrie, my relationship with her was in the past. Plus, Harry was more attached to her cause she was his tutor/babysitter. Second of all, I like you and trust me, Harry would end up liking you too.” Zayn says and before Niall could say anything, Harry comes back to the booth. 

“Hey, so I thought of another story I could tell Louis.” Harry says as soon as he takes his seat. “This one’s really funny.” He says but starts to frown when he sees an empty spot in front of him. “Uh, is he in the bathroom or..?” He asks and when Niall is glancing over his shoulder, Harry turns around to see Louis at the jukebox, laughing out with a handsome boy. “Oh, yeah, that makes more sense.”

Zayn shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that. That’s just Louis. I mean, he does..” 

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to.” Harry says. He knows sometimes Zayn can be a little overprotective but he is a big boy. He could handle rejection. He then turns to look at Niall. “He never said I was hot, did he? You made that up.” He says accusingly and when Niall just remains silent, he sighs. “Can I go home now?”

**************

Niall knocks the door and when he hears a faint “yeah?” from inside the room, he opens the door and poking his head in. “Harry, can I talk to you?” He asks when he sees the younger boy.

Harry turns his head slightly to look at the person at the door. “I’m actually kind of busy.” He replies to Niall. 

Niall nods understandingly. “I know you probably hate me right now and I don’t blame you, I just.. came by to apologize.” He says as he stands at the door. When Harry remains silent and doesn’t even look up from his book, Niall steps tentatively further into the room and glances at the title. “Perks of Being a Wallflower. Is that for school? I haven’t read that.” 

Harry shakes his head. “No, I just like the book.” 

“Wow, you’re like the only other person I know besides me that read things that weren’t assigned.” Niall points out. 

“Yeah, well. People are pretty dumb.” Harry deadpans. 

Niall nods. “Yes, they are. Me included.” He says. “I did a really stupid thing setting you up with my brother. I’m really sorry that I did that.” He apologizes sincerely. 

Harry puts down his book on the bed and tilts his head to look at Niall. “Why did you?” He asks. 

Niall shakes his head. “I just freaked out. My friends had me thinking that you liked Perrie more than me for Zayn. And I keep thinking that maybe Zayn is like that too.” He admits. 

Harry’s eyes go wide after he hears Niall’s words. “What?” 

“I know. It’s ridiculous.” Niall says. “I just thought that maybe you guys had this bond and….” He trails off. “Normally, I’m not like this. Trust me, I’m actually really secure with myself most of the time. It’s just lately..” 

Harry shakes his head and starts to smile amusingly at Niall. “I guess that makes sense.”

Niall raises his eyebrows curiously as he looks at Harry. “Why?” 

“Because you care. And the more you care about something or someone, the scarier it gets when you think you might lose them. And then once you start thinking that way then even the most secure people in the world act really weird.” Harry says. “But I don’t think you have to worry about that with Zayn. He likes you. I can guarantee he likes you more than he liked Perrie. It’s always been you, you know? You could go schizophrenic on him and he’s still hang around.” He points out. 

“What makes you so sure?” Niall asks. 

Harry smiles at Niall. “Because he’s in love with you.” 

Niall moves to sit on the edge of Harry’s bed, smiling and shaking his head. “No. No. Uh, he’s never…I mean..You think?” 

Harry nods firmly. “Yeah.”

They both smile at each other and it doesn’t have to be the words to say that Harry has already forgiven Niall about the disastrous double date and Niall is thanking him without words too. It feels like they understand each other’s thoughts at the moment.

“So, did you hear that Jack grabbed his butt?” Niall asks, breaking the silence. 

Harry’s eyes go wide as he gasps in surprise. “Oh my God.” 

Niall smiles and shakes his head. “I know, it’s awful. It’s like, one of these things where I’ve known these boys since elementary school and I don’t necessarily like them, I just have them, you know?” He says. “I don’t know if you know him or not, but Jamie, Liam’s younger brother is my best friend too. He moved away to boarding school again this year but I’m sure he would’ve loved you.” He adds. “The point is, I really miss having a friend that doesn’t drive me absolutely insane, kinda need one.”

“Really? Me?” Harry asks disbelievingly. 

Niall nods. “Yeah.” He says and smiles. 

Harry hums and nods as well. “Me too.” 

Niall smiles. “So, honestly speaking though, don’t get mad. You like Louis?” He asks bluntly. He notices how Harry is acting whenever Louis is near and he is not blind to see that the younger boy is liking his brother. He is just not sure whether if it’s true or not. 

Harry snorts and chuckles at Niall’s bluntness. “Is it really obvious? I don’t know why but I’m really more into guys like your brother. No offense.” 

“None taken. But Louis? Seriously?” Niall replies and grins. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m surprisingly shallow.” Harry jokes and laughs. Niall laughs along with him and before they both know it, both of them are lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a smile plastered on their faces. 

“So, I heard you like going to concerts and you like golf too?” Niall asks. 

Harry hums in response. “Yeah. But Zayn doesn’t like them so it has been a while since I went to concerts and my father is too lazy to play golf regularly. So here I am, end up alone in my room, reading books that haven’t been assigned at school. Obviously as you can see, I’m very lack in friends department.” 

Niall turns his head to his side and grins at Harry. “I like concerts and golf too.” He says excitedly and Harry starts to grin too. “You know what, Harry? I think this is the start of beautiful friendship of us.” He says sincerely and Harry nods, agreeing with Niall.

**************

Niall tilts his head up slightly to look at Zayn and smiles. “This is a good song.” He says as they are cuddling on the couch, sharing the heat from the blanket together and Niall fits perfectly into Zayn’s arms.

Zayn tilts his head down to look at Niall. “Yeah. And for the record, I haven’t played this song to Perrie.” He teases and Niall’s cheeks go red before he starts to hit Zayn’s chest. Zayn laughs and holds Niall’s hand. “You are a very violent person, you know that?” 

Niall snuggles closer to Zayn and trails his finger on Zayn’s chest. “I think you should be flattered. I don’t know who said jealousy was a bad thing.” 

“Well, there’s a movie where she boiled a bunny. It was very scary.” Zayn jokes. 

Niall chuckles and shakes his head slightly. “I think it’s a compliment not to mention one of the most basic instincts we have as human beings. It’s like eating or breathing.”

“What is?” Zayn asks. 

“Being territorial.” Niall replies. “Claiming something or someone as your own and then like marking it and saying this property’s mine and no one else can have it.” 

Zayn smiles. “For the record, if I ever refer to you as property, I’d be being beaten right now.” 

Niall chuckles, slightly impressed on how Zayn knows him too well. “I just think it’s fascinating how people treat each other.” Niall says. “It’s like if you like someone, you’re not supposed to show it and if you hate someone, you’re supposed to pretend that you like them so they don’t know that you hate them.” He adds. “But if you love someone..”

“Yeah?” 

“It should be easier.” Niall says, looking right through Zayn’s eyes. “You should finally be able to relax once you’re past all the crazy, I mean.”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, makes sense.” 

“I love you, Zayn.” Niall says sincerely. He can feel how easy it is to say that words to Zayn. There is no need for the grand declaration. Just being together with Zayn at that moment is enough. There is no rushing out, just calm and smooth and easy. 

Zayn stares at Niall’s eyes for a moment before he nods. “I love you too.” 

Niall smiles softly. “Yeah?” 

Zayn returns the smile and nods again. “Yeah.” He replies as he wraps his arms tighter around Niall’s body.


	4. And I will keep you in my mind, the way you make love so fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from: **[Plain White T's - Rhythm of Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWiwuiT58Yc)**

Harry steps into the kitchen only to find balls of paper on the table and he raises his eyebrows at Zayn. His older brother just ignoring him and starts to write, only to throw the paper away and starts to do the same thing again. “You doing homework?” Harry asks his brother curiously. 

Zayn shakes his head without even glancing up to look at his brother. “Uh, no.” He replies simply. 

Harry steps closer to table and leans over to see the note pad in front of Zayn. “Is that..do you keep a journal?” He asks hesitantly. 

At that question, Zayn finally raises his head and looks at his brother. “What? No. It’s a letter, for Niall. But it’s private. So..” He trails off. 

Harry’s face breaks into a grin and he nods understandingly. “Oh, is it your addendum?” He asks eagerly. 

Zayn shakes his head in confusion. “My what?” 

Harry smiles widen as he looks at his brother. “To the ‘I love you.’ Postscript, additional material.” He points out. 

“Yeah, I know what addendum is.” Zayn says and rolls his eyes. He knows Harry is kind of the brain between the siblings but that doesn’t mean that he himself is clueless. “I just didn’t know that you knew about..” Zayn continues. 

Harry smiles never leave his face as he nods at Zayn. “The ‘I love you’? Yeah, he told me.” He tells his brother. “First he said it, then you said it back. There was pizza.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “He said that first he said it and then I said it?” He asks his younger brother, looking for an answer. 

Harry nods. “Yeah.” He replies shortly. 

“Did he seem weird out by that, upset or anything?” Zayn asks curiously. 

Harry scratches his chin and start to think for a moment before he shakes his head. “I don’t think so. Why? Does it matter who says it first?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at Zayn. 

“Nah, I mean, I don’t think so.” Zayn replies quickly. “But obviously if he told you the order in which the ‘I love you’s’ were exchanged, it does mean something. Which means the addendum is more necessary than I originally thought.” He points out. 

Harry shrugs, not really understand about Zayn’s point but he listens anyway. “Maybe I can help you.” He offers. 

Zayn shakes his head. “Ah, I don’t think so.” He says dismissively. 

Harry rolls his eyes. “I’m actually not terrible at it. I know cause I’m terrible at just about everything else, but I can write.” He explains. 

Zayn glances at his brother and raises his eyebrows. “Really? I don’t know that.” 

Harry snorts and shakes his head. Of course Zayn doesn’t know. “Well, sometimes I do short stories and most of those are on my computer.” He says and when Zayn raises his eyebrows at him, Harry shrugs. “Well, I don’t know if you notice this or not but I’m pretty sure everyone knows I don’t really have a friend that I can talk to but I’ve always had stuff to say so I just said it to myself by writing.” 

Zayn stares at Harry and feels a bit guilty after he hears Harry’s words. Despite being protective over his brother, Zayn never really do hang out with Harry and bond over just to chat around. “Well, you’re not going to have that problem anymore. You got Niall. He’s your friend. He’s a good friend too, you know that. You know he was the first friend I had when we moved here.” 

Harry nods and smiles fondly at the memory. Of course he knows that. And of course he knows how much Zayn had fallen in love with Niall for the first few weeks when they moved to the town. “That’s good. Maybe you should start with that, for your letter.” 

“Oh, right.” 

“I really don’t mind helping.” Harry offers again. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I think this is something that I should probably try and do by myself.” He explains. It’s not that he doesn’t believe in Harry or anything, it’s just he feels like it’s important for him to do it by himself. 

Harry nods and smiles at his brother. “Yeah, I understand.”

**************

“I hope Louis hasn’t already eaten at the restaurant.” Maura says to Bobby as she is chopping the vegetables at the kitchen. Bobby just nod silently as he is helping his wife to prepare the foods for the dinner.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at the latest employee of the month.” Louis’s voice suddenly boomed through, announcing his presence once he enters the kitchen. 

Maura looks up from her chopping board and smiles at her eldest son. “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful.” She says happily. 

Louis grins widely at his mother and nods. “Did I mention I’m on a plaque? Yeah, a plaque.” He tells his mother. “I haven’t even been working there a whole month and I’m already their greatest employee, how awesome is that?” 

“Yes, well, awesome indeed.” Bobby comments shortly. 

“Oh, yeah, did I mention? Employees get to eat for free even when they’re not working and Mikey says that I get to pick up dinner shift from now on so I get to sleep in. The benefits are endless.” Louis tells his parents excitedly. 

“Really? So I assume you’ll be getting health and dental?” Bobby deadpans, obviously being sarcastic. 

Louis’s smile falters slightly and he shakes his head. “No. No. Not the benefits _benefits_ , you know, the other kind.” He explains. “Anyway, I’m gonna call Fordo cause he’s gonna freak out when he finds out how much I pulled out in tips tonight.” He says before he walks out of the kitchen. “Next stop, employee of the year. Boo yah!” He hollers on his way to his room and Maura chuckles at his eldest son’s antique. 

“By all means, call Fordo, who I believe away at college pursuing an actual future.” Bobby comments as he glances at his wife once Louis leaves the kitchen. 

Maura rolls her eyes at her husband and shakes her head. “Stop it.” She says. “You should be happy he’s doing so well and they like him so much.” 

Bobby snorts. “They love him. Didn’t you hear him? Mikey is giving him dinner shifts. Boo yah!” He says sarcastically. 

“For God’s sake. This is just a start.” Maura says, glaring at her husband. “Working in a restaurant isn’t going to be Louis’s career.” She points out. “But he’s happy right now.” 

Bobby shakes his head and sighs heavily. “He’s too happy, Maura. That’s the trouble. If this job is enough for him, if that plaque on the wall is all the validation he needs, how can you be so certain that he will ever pursue something more?”

**************

“Do you think I should talk to him now? He might be really upset.” Niall says as he paces back and forth in front of Zayn while biting his nails.

Zayn turns his head from his reading to his side and shakes his head. “I saw him earlier. He seemed fine. By the way, did I mention how good you look today?” He asks with a smile as he looks at Niall, who is apparently had decided to come over in a new ducky jumper that makes him look so cuddly in Zayn’s eyes. 

Niall rolls his eyes and shakes his head, totally ignoring Zayn’s comment about his appearance. “He’s not fine. You obviously weren’t listening to the story.” He says in annoyance. 

“I was listening. I just don’t think how Harry doesn’t know how to dance is such a big deal.” Zayn points out truthfully. 

Niall crosses his arms over his chest and glares at Zayn, still annoyed with his boyfriend’s lack of understanding about the situation. “It’s not just that. He fell. Bit it. He was supposed to do this step with everybody else which is a really easy step, but instead of going right, he went left and bumped into this girl who bumped into another girl and also a boy and fell with this huge thud and everyone started laughing. You know how red he gets.” Niall explains to his boyfriend and Zayn just let out a slight chuckle. “This isn’t funny.” Niall retorts. 

Zayn closes his book and looks at Niall again as he shrugs. “Well, what do you expect? I’m not sure the boy can walk and chew gum at the same time. Signing him up for dancing classes not a wise move on his part.” 

Niall sighs and shakes his head. “That’s just it. It wasn’t his idea.” He tells Zayn. “It was my stupid idea.”

“It’s not your fault he tripped.” Zayn points out. 

Niall sighs heavily again before he starts to sit down on the floor and rubs his hands over his face with a loud groan. “Oh my God, I feel so bad.” He admits truthfully. “The stupid Louis date was my fault. Now this is my fault.” 

Zayn shakes his head as he looks at Niall. “This is not the same as that.” 

Niall looks up and sighs again. “It is to Harry. To him, this is just one more completely humiliating experience that he can relate back to me.” He points out. 

“Don’t worry about it so much. He’ll get over it, all right.” Zayn assures. 

Niall pouts and starts to cross his arms over his chest again. “I just want him to like me.” He says quietly but Zayn hears him anyway. 

“Like you? The boy worships you.” Zayn points out. Hell, even if he’s the brother, he can feel that Harry is more willing to open up with Niall instead of him. But he understands that, it’s the same thing with him and Louis too. There is just some things that siblings can’t talk about and Zayn is totally fine with it. 

Niall shakes his head. “No, he doesn’t. He’s not comfortable around me yet.” He says truthfully. “I can tell. I just keep thinking if maybe I just introduce him to more people, help him fit in more.” 

Zayn smiles amusingly as he looks at Niall’s face. “You know, you don’t need to worry about him so much. I mean, just give him some time, he’ll find his niche eventually.” He tells Niall. “I mean, he kinda already had. You know, he’s a writer.” 

At that comment, Niall’s eyes widen as he looks at Zayn. “Really? When is he a writer?” He asks curiously. Harry never tell him about being a writer or what not and this makes Niall believe that Harry isn’t really comfortable to be friend with him yet. 

Zayn shrugs. “He’s not like a professional writer. He’s like, he’s a writer. That’s what he does. He briefly showed me these journals the other day.” He says. 

Niall nods, contemplating on Zayn’s words. “Hmm, this open up to all kind of possibilities.” He says. “I mean, if Harry’s a writer, he can join the newspaper. There’s that new arts and literary supplement that they do every semester. And remember when that girl, Cammie Dexter got her poem published in CosmoGirl?” 

“I’m still working through my back issues.” Zayn deadpans sarcastically. 

Niall, totally used of Zayn’s sarcasm, just let the comment slide as he continues to speak. “I know it totally sucked but her cute rating went up like 1000 points. We can do better. We can get Harry published in MRU magazine or something.” Niall says eagerly. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows as he notices the eagerness in Niall’s voice now. “Now, I tell you he’s a writer and you turn him into Stephen King, how do you even know if his writing is good?” 

“Well, I read something of his first.” Niall explains. “I mean, I’m not gonna set him up for another catastrophe like today.” He adds determinedly. 

“And you expect him to just hand over his personal journals for you to read?” Zayn asks curiously. 

“I know, that’s the point. We need to get to that level.” Niall says. “I’m sharing a lot of my own personal things with him so..” He trails off. 

“I know, I heard.” Zayn says and it makes Niall’s cheeks go red in millisecond. 

Niall shrugs, trying to hide his blush but he knows Zayn sees it anyway. “Well, that’s what best friends are for. Don’t tell me you and Louis are not like that. I know you guys talk about this stuff too. And ever since Jamie felt, I’ve really missed having that person. That’s why this friendship is so important to me.” He tells Zayn. 

“And who am I?” Zayn asks, raising his eyebrows at Niall playfully. 

Niall rolls his eyes and snorts. “You’re the guy that I talk about to my best friends about. It’s very crucial role. Trust me.” He deadpans. 

Zayn nods amusingly and shakes his head. “Uh huh.” He responses and this time, it’s his turn to blush.

**************

Niall glances from the corner of his book to look at Harry for umpteenth time before he decides to do it now or never. So he puts down his book besides him on the bed and shifts so that he can lie on his stomach. Then he puts his hands under his chin, looking at Harry who is sitting at his study desk. “So I hear that you are a writer?” He starts, trying to grab Harry’s attention.

Harry turns around slightly to look at Niall and shakes his head. “No. No. I’m not a writer. I just write, which is more different than it sounds.” He tells Niall. 

Niall shifts his body again, this time to sit up properly on the bed so that he can get a better view of Harry when he asks the next question. “Do you do poetry?” 

Harry snorts. “Please, no.” He replies and Niall laughs at that. 

“So what do you write?” Niall asks curiously. “Like short stories, essays, scathing political editorials?” 

Harry simply shrug at the question. “Mainly I just write what comes into my head.” He replies. “You know, journal type stuff. No big deal.” He says dismissively before he looks down on his desk to write again. 

Niall grins. “Cool, can I see?” He asks as his eyes glancing towards the book in front of Harry that the other boy keeps writing on since an hour before. 

Harry looks up again to look at Niall and raises his eyebrows. “My journals? No. No. They’re dumb.” He laughs and shakes his head. 

Niall nods understandingly. “Okay. Here’s what I’m thinking. Basically, dance is not your thing.” He says as he starts to stand up and steps closer towards Harry’s spot. “Totally my fault. I’m really sorry about that. Um, but writing is your thing.” He points out. “And I was thinking that it might be a good way to meet new people, get more involved at the school.”

Harry raises his eyebrows as he looks at Niall. “Do I need to meet more people?” 

Niall stares at the younger boy and shrugs. “I know that the idea of being a joiner seems false to you, but sometimes it’s good to just jump in and try something new.” He says. “You might be surprised at how much you like it.” 

Harry shrugs lightly, not really thinking that Niall is serious about the topic. “Well, maybe.” 

“Great.” Niall says with a grin. “Okay, so I was thinking, that we’d start by submitting one of your stories to one of the cool magazines like MRU. It’s a music review magazine. I know you like music and I like your opinion about music. Maybe you can write about that and submit it and if you get in there, the entire school will die.” 

“Whoa, wait? What?” Harry asks with wide eyes. 

“Oh, don’t worry. I mean, I’ll help you pick it out.” Niall says. “That’s why I’m here. You don’t have do it alone.” He assures. 

“I don’t want to do it at all!” Harry says defensively. “No one has ever read my writing, Niall. It’s not something I share. It’s private.” He replies snappily. 

Niall, sensing that Harry is not happy about his offer, nods understandingly. “I know that your life journals are private but what about your writing about music? You won’t even show me that?” Niall asks quietly and when Harry doesn’t reply, Niall lets out a small, “oh” as realization starts to sink in. 

Harry shakes his head. “No. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just..” He tries to explain to the older boy who is not grinning anymore and suddenly Harry feels bad. 

Niall shakes his head, waving his hand to stop Harry from continuing the conversation. “No, um. No worries. Pretend that I didn’t even ask.” He says before he moves to sit back on the bed and picking up his book, and start to continue with his reading. And the next hour ends up being the most awkward silence that both of them had ever experienced with each other.

**************

Bobby glances at Maura from across the table and his wife gives him a pointed look towards Louis’s direction. Bobby nods understandingly before he starts to speak up. “You’ll never guess who I ran into today?” He asks, trying to start the conversation.

“Paris Hilton.” Louis deadpans. 

“Who?” Bobby asks confusingly before he shakes his head. “Oh, no. It’s actually Ralph Bigelow. You remember Ralph?” He asks his eldest son. 

Louis nods as he glances at his father. “Yeah, right. Bald dude.” 

Bobby nods. “Well. He’s on, uh, Propecia. Anyhow, turns out, they are looking for new lodge hosts over at the inn. We had a chat. He remembers you quite fondly.” He tells Louis. “Guess what? You have an interview for the position tomorrow afternoon.” 

Louis glances between his father and mother confusingly. “But I already have a job.” He points out. 

“This could be a terrific opportunity for you, Louis.” Bobby says. “Lots of room for growth. Be able to learn different facets of the service industry.” 

“And if you enjoy it, you could study Hotel and Resort Management at college next year.” Maura pipes in. 

“You can major in that?” Louis asks curiously. 

Bobby nods. “Oh, absolutely. In fact, there’s an especially fine school at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas.”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Vegas, huh? That could be fun.” He says. “Well, thanks, guys. I’ll definitely, you know, think about it. I, uh, have to work tomorrow though. I can’t get my shifts covered. It’s a little too late for that.” He explains.

“Already done.” Bobby says. “I have spoken with your manager, Mr. Mikey, and uh, everything’s taken care of. In fact, I wrote down the particulars in case you need them.” 

Louis, suddenly realize on what is his parent’s point about his job, finally nods in realization. “Thanks, guys. I’ll give it my best shot.” He says half-heartedly.

**************

Zayn raises his arms in defends when Niall starts to hits him on his arms. “Wh..? Hey, I told you he wasn’t gonna let you read them.” He says. “Was I right or was I right?” He teases his boyfriend.

Niall shakes his head and rolls his eyes at Zayn. “Whatever, it’s not like I care.” He grumbles. 

Zayn snorts and looks at Niall. “So what happens now? Is Harry kicked out of the brotherhood? Is there paperwork involved?” He jokes, loving to see the pout that comes from Niall. It’s cute. 

Niall sighs. “Look, if the boy doesn’t want to fit in better, it’s his problem. I tried.” He says offhandedly. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Niall replies quickly. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know anybody at this school. If he wants to continue being a total social zero, it’s his life.” He says, a little bit mad but not really though. All in all, he is just confused on why Harry doesn’t trust him like he trusts the younger boy. 

“Exactly. Not everybody’s cut out to be a social rock star in high school.” Zayn tells his boyfriend. “You just make it look too easy.” He points out. “That reminds me, I wanted to give you something.” 

Niall’s face breaks into a big smile. “You did? Really?” Niall asks and Zayn just nods and hums in response. “Me too!” Niall says excitedly as he pulls something from the pocket of his jacket. “I figured 4 and a half months deserved some kind of celebration.” He adds as he hands the gift to Zayn. 

Zayn takes the gift, blinking his eyes at the thing in his hands before he looks at Niall. “It’s been 4 and a half months?” He asks and when Niall nods, Zayn chuckles nervously. “I thought it was 3.” 

Niall shrugs. “Well, yeah, it depends on how you count.” He tells Zayn. “I decided to go from the moment you got on the plane. I was debating the picnic but the plane just had a much more dramatic feel.” He adds. “Anyways, no card, everything sounds so lame when it’s on paper, don’t you think?”

“Definitely.” Zayn says as he looks down again to look at Niall’s gift for him. “These are passes to Comic Con next weekend.” He says in amazement. “Niall, this is unbelievable.” 

Niall grins and shrugs. “So, what did you get me?” He asks excitedly. 

“Uh…” Zayn trails off, remembering about the paper that he had written but Niall had said that everything’s on paper sounds lame and now he doesn’t know what to do. He pretends to get something from his pocket and his hand reaches on the credit card and he pulls it out instead of the paper. “Dinner.” He lies. ‘Yeah, my dad gave me the card so you can order more dessert if you want to.” 

Niall smiles and nods. “Thank you, I’m full. But that was very sweet of him and you, of course.” He says as he grabs Zayn’s hand into him. “I love you, Zayn.” He says easily. 

“Yeah, I love you too.”

**************

“So you never even gave it to him?” Harry asks as he looks at his brother.

Zayn shakes his head. “How could I? After he gave me those tickets.” He tells his brother. “My pathetic attempt at a love letter.” He adds and groans. 

Harry raises his eyebrows. “It isn’t epic enough?” He asks curiously. 

Zayn shakes his head again. “Not even close.” He says. “Maybe I’ll just wait until I’m 40, buy him a car.” He jokes before he says his goodbye and walks to the direction of his classroom. 

Harry waves his brother’s off before he walks towards the hallway and spots Niall who is standing in front of his locker. “Niall?” He calls out and walks towards the boy. “I, uh, I looked for you at lunch.” Harry points out. 

Niall nods. “Oh, yeah, I was in the music room working on some arrangement with the boys.” He replies simply. 

“Oh.” Harry says shortly. “So, I was thinking about what you said about me joining the paper and I know you’re trying to help make me more popular which is unbelievably nice of you but…the thing is, it’s never gonna happen.” He tells Niall as he looks at the older boy, making Niall sighs as he leans on Harry’s locker. “What?” Harry asks. 

Niall shakes his head. “It’s just you keep saying how you’ve never had any friends but I have been trying harder than I ever have before to be that. Granted that I haven’t had to make any friends since kindergarten so I’m probably going about it completely the wrong way, but, God, Harry, you are so shut off it’s scary.” Niall says bluntly. 

“Just because I don’t want the whole world reading my journals..” Harry says defensively. 

“I don’t care about that.” Niall cuts Harry’s off, shaking his head. “If you don’t want everybody to read your writing, it’s fine. I get it. I just didn’t think that I was the same as the whole world.” He points out. 

Harry shakes his head. “You’re not.” He says firmly, trying to get Niall to understand that, that is not the reason why he doesn’t want Niall to read his writing. 

Niall stares at Harry and sighs again. “Since we’re start hanging out, I have shared so much stuff with you. You know about Liam. You know about everything that’s going on with me and Zayn and I don’t even know your middle name.” He points out. “I know we haven’t really known each other for a very long time, and I’m sorry that I didn’t make an effort to be friends with you earlier but I want to now. Not because you’re Zayn’s brother only, but as a boy who I’m growing fond to. The person that I feel like I want to be best friends with. I know I probably pushing this friendship into something it’s not meant to be, but like I said, I like you.” He adds. “There’s something strange about you that I find interesting.”

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Really?” He asks shortly, too stunned to reply to Niall’s words. 

Niall nods and smiles softly at Harry. “But it won’t work if it’s only one-sided and I don’t think you’re really comfortable talking to me.” 

Harry shakes his head quickly. “No, that’s not it. I’m just..” 

“Shy.” Niall finishes for Harry and the younger boy nods. “I know and I don’t want you to have to change who you are just so that we can hang out.” He tells Harry. “I mean, we don’t have to be best friends. We could just be what we are, like acquaintance friends.” He adds before he starts to stand up straight again, adjusting the strap of his backpack. “I’ll see you later, okay, Harry.” Niall says before he walks away, leaving Harry with an uneasy feeling.

**************

Bobby opens the door of Louis’s room and steps inside, finding Louis on his bed, playing FIFA as usual. “I cannot wait for the next Bighorn meeting. Ralph Bigelow just phoned.” He tells his eldest son.

“Oh yeah? What did he have to say?” Louis asks without taking his eyes off of the screen. 

“I’m not amused, Louis.” Bobby says angrily. “How could you not even show up? You know, in your effort to embarrass me, all you’ve done today is closed the door on something that may have truly benefited you. An entire avenue for your future, just gone.” He adds as he looks at Louis. 

“It’s your future, not mine.” Louis deadpans. 

“Oh, I was merely trying to effect some change in your slip march down the path of least resistance.” Bobby says defensively. 

Louis pauses the game and turns to look at his father. “No, what you merely did was humiliate me.” He tells his father. “Calling my manager and changing my schedule. You told me where, when and why to go meet some guy for some job, I didn’t even ask for.” He points out. “It’s like you don’t trust me to decide anything for myself.” 

“Well, you haven’t exactly inspired confidence of late.” Bobby quips. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Well, you know what, I like my job. It’s working out okay.”

Bobby shakes his head. “Well, working out okay isn’t what you should be aiming for.” He says. “You had real goals last year, Louis. You may have forgotten but I haven’t. You worked hard. Harder than I have seen you work at anything.” He points out. 

“A lot of good that did me.” Louis deadpans sarcastically. 

“It did!” Bobby says firmly. “You may have not gotten into the colleges you wanted but you had genuine passion for your studies, not just for the result but for the effort.” He points out. “Now I am trying, Louis. I am trying not to let the disappointment get the better of both of us. I’m trying to help you obtain what you said you wanted.” 

“Well, I don’t know what I want to do anymore!” Louis points out. “So what is so wrong with me working at a restaurant while I try to figure that out?” 

“I don’t mind you working at a restaurant!” Bobby says. “I mind you going from fighting to get an education to complacently hustling nachos for tip money. I mind you thinking that it is okay to settle and foreclose on your life. For God’s sake, you don’t even pretend like you want anything more.” 

“You want me to pretend? You want me to lie to you? That’s great. It’s a lot easier that way.” Louis quips sarcastically. 

Bobby shakes his head. “I want you to wake up! The clock is ticking. You continue to clown around waiting for your real life to begin, it’ll pass you by without so much as a wave.” He says before he starts to turn around, starting to walk out from the room. 

Louis huffs angrily and starts to stand up and walking closer towards his door. “What the hell is wrong with you, man? Do you think you can scare me into knowing what I want to do with my life? I mean, don’t you think that if I had any clue at all I would be on a plane right this moment, headed as far away from this house as humanly possible? Dad, I wish I knew. Okay, believe me, I would love to figure out more than you even want me to because until then I am stuck here, with you, which at the moment is the last place on earth I want to be.” He says before he slams the door closed, leaving a stunned Bobby, staring at the door.

**************

“What is this?” Bobby asks when Louis hands him a piece of paper later that night as he and his wife are sitting in the living room.

Louis shrugs. “Rent. Is 250 enough? I could probably swing 3, but uh..”

Bobby glances at Maura on the couch before he looks at Louis again. “This is unnecessary, Louis.”

“Not for me. I’ll start picking up more shifts, eventually I should make enough to be able to get my own place.” Louis tells his father. 

“Sweetheart, we should talk about this.” Maura says gently as she looks at her eldest son. 

Louis shakes his head. “Thanks, mom, but I’m all talked out.” He says before he walks out from the living room. 

Bobby sighs before he looks at his wife. “I shouldn’t have pushed.” 

“Louis is just spreading his wings a bit.” Maura says. “The spark of independence isn’t a bad thing, I mean, the truth is he’s gonna have to make these decisions himself and he’s going to make mistakes along the way.” 

Bobby sighs again. “I know. You’re right. God, I’ve handled this all so badly.” 

Maura shakes her head and smiles at her husband. “We. We’re in this together, remember?” She asks she grabs her husband’s hand into hers. 

Bobby smiles gratefully and nods before he leans to kiss Maura’s hand. “Thank you, dear.”

**************

“Hey. Sorry to interrupt.” Harry says as he reaches the lunch table where Zayn and Niall are sitting at. “Um, I just wanted to tell you that I wrote something, a story for the magazine and I was kinda hoping you guys would read it before I sent it in.” He says as he passes the papers to Niall.

Niall glances at the paper in front of him before he smiles at Harry. “What’s it about?” He asks eagerly. 

“Uh, just some stuff that’s been going on this past week.” Harry replies. “It’s not very good and I know they’re gonna take it, so when I get my rejection letter, which I know I’m gonna get, I’m really hoping that you’ll be for me with ice-cream.” He adds, looking at Niall. 

Niall smiles brightly at Harry and nods. “Definitely.” He says sincerely. “I like the title. I’ll read it later then we can talk about it, okay?” 

Harry nods happily. “Okay. Text me later. I’m going to the library. See you.” He says before he takes off, but not before he winks at Zayn.

Niall reaches the paper and reads the first paragraph and suddenly he scrunches his nose in realization. “This, uh, seems awfully familiar. Especially the second character.” He says as he reads the next line. And then he tilts his head up to look at Zayn. “Is this about us?” He asks curiously, handing Zayn the paper. 

Zayn takes the paper and starts to read the line too and smiles, finally understand on Harry’s cheeky wink earlier. “I think it is. Yeah.” 

Niall reads the line again. “Did you really write me a love letter?” He asks before he glances up to see Zayn again. “When and why didn’t you give it to me? And did you actually call it an addendum?”

Zayn stares at Niall and smiles slightly. “I wanted to give it to you, I just..It didn’t feel special enough. Especially after, you know, your present.” He explains truthfully. 

Niall sighs softly. “Zayn..” 

Zayn shakes his head. “I wanted to plan our anniversary dinner when I knew that was our anniversary and I wanted to be able to tell you that I loved you first. You steal my mojo.” He points out, bopping on Niall’s nose. 

Niall smiles and looks at Zayn lovingly. “You have so much mojo you don’t even know. That’s why you’re so great. That’s why..” 

“Don’t.” Zayn warns as he looks at Niall. 

Niall claps his hand over his mouth and giggles. “Sorry.” 

Zayn smiles fondly at the adorable boy beside him, that he is lucky enough to call the boy his boyfriend at the moment. “I love you, Niall.” Zayn tells his boyfriend. “You don’t have to say it back this time, this one’s all mine.” 

Niall smiles brightly at that words and he shifts his body slightly before he pulls Zayn’s face closer, pulling him into a deep passionate kiss.


	5. I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from **[Third Eye Blind - Jumper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lObgLdtXYpU)**
> 
> (love this song!)

“Dude!” Louis shouts as soon as he enters the garage as Zayn is playing with his music equipment loudly. Zayn turns around, slightly surprised by Louis’s sudden presence and the older boy grins at him. “This place rocks, man.” He says, looking around the garage. “I should give you the 250 I’ve been giving my parents and stay here instead.” He adds. 

Zayn switches off his equipment and turns around to face Louis properly before he snorts. “Uh, yeah. No.” 

Louis chuckles, plopping on the couch and raises his eyebrows at Zayn. “I didn’t hear you outside. Soundproof walls?” He asks and when Zayn nods, Louis whistles in amazement. “Nice.” 

Zayn shrugs Louis’s comment off and shakes his head. “Look, Louis, the key was sort of for emergencies, like if you and your dad got into a fight, not just for barging in when I’m here.” He says, trying to make Louis understand the reason why he had given the emergency key to the older boy. 

Louis shrugs, not slightly care about Zayn’s comment and moves to lie on the couch lazily. “Well, I didn’t know that you were here, man.” He points out, looking at Zayn. “You didn’t answer the knock.” 

Zayn sighs silently before he replies to Louis. “Whatever. Never mind.” Zayn mumbles as he starts to stand up and walking towards the door before putting on his jacket. 

Louis raises his eyebrows confusingly when he sees Zayn starts to put on his jacket. “Where are you going? I thought we were going to hang out.” He asks curiously.

Zayn glares at Louis in disbelief. “Yeah, that was 3 hours ago.” He replies sharply. “I gotta go meet up with Will now. Where were you anyway?” 

Louis grins and shrugs. “Well, I met this girl last night. One thing led to another, that led to the sun coming up and I had to crash for a little while.” He replies cheekily. 

Zayn rolls his eyes at Louis’s answer. Of fucking course. Only Louis would do such thing. “I still don’t understand how you’re doing this. Are your parents actually letting these girls or boys sleep over?” He asks curiously. 

“Uh, no. Come on, I’m into college people now, man.” Louis tells Zayn. “Parents, bad. Roommates, good.” He adds with a cheeky grin. “You should see these dorm, it’s like one huge co-ed slumber party. Even the bathrooms are co-ed. It’s sick man, you should jump on that party train.” 

Zayn is still listening to Louis while he bents slightly to pick up his bag from the floor. “Yeah, sort of dating your brother.” He deadpans. 

Louis nods. “Oh, yeah, right. Right.” He replies shortly. 

Zayn starts to zip on his jacket fully and shrugs slightly as he looks at the older boy who is eyeing him from the couch. “Alright, well, I gotta go practice.” He tells Louis. 

“Still doing that, huh?” Louis asks. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, pretty much always doing it.” He points out. 

Louis hums in response for a moment before he starts to speak again. “Well, hey, uh, you know, there’s some guys who are having a party tomorrow night from my work and Marty’s wife is gonna be out of town.” He says. “It’s gonna be open bar. It’s gonna be totally awesome.” He adds eagerly. “You should go.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Zayn replies shortly. To be honest, it’s been a while since he hangs out with Louis. A night out with the older boy won’t hurt though. 

Louis’s face starts to break into a big smile before he nods. “Cool, and, uh, Marty’s got a guest room so if you get too plowed you can totally stay.” He says. “How cool is that?”

**************

“Why isn’t the mail here yet?” Niall whines as he is still staring at the front door. “I mean, are they not coming or maybe they just don’t deliver SAT scoring when it’s negative like it’s too embarrassing for the victim?” He asks, biting his nails nervously as he turns around and looks at Zayn who is sitting on the couch. 

“I’m sure you did fine.” Zayn replies distractingly, not even glancing up to look at his boyfriend because he is busy writing on his note sheet. 

“I’m sure that I didn’t.” Niall says, still biting his nails out of habit when he’s nervous. “And the fact that my entire future relies on a pencil drives me crazy.” He adds, pacing back and forth at the living room. “I mean, seriously, why do colleges even care if you figure out when Train A and Train B are going to meet?” He asks and groans before he plops down on the couch. “I don’t know when they’re going to meet. Why do they even have to meet?” He rambles on. 

Zayn finally looks up from his note and glances at Niall amusingly. Sometimes he wonders when is his boyfriend is never being cute. “Okay, you’re talking faster than both of the trains combined.” Zayn teases before he moves from his spot and walks over to the other couch and starts to sit beside Niall. Then as usual, he opens his arms for Niall to snuggle in. “There.”

Niall shifts closer to Zayn before he leans his head on his boyfriend’s chest and sighs. “All I want to do this weekend is rent a million mindless movies, order Chinese food and hang out with you.” He says before he tilts up his head slightly to look at Zayn’s face. “We can build a tent in the living room and never come out.” He offers. 

Zayn smiles at Niall and nods understandingly. “You know, that sounds good, but I told Louis that I would go to this party thing with him.” 

Niall scrunches his forehead in curiosity. “Really? Why?” He asks.

“Uh, because Marty’s town is out of town.” Zayn says and when Niall is still looking at him confusingly, Zayn shakes his head. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s uh, it’s something with his work friends, sounds as about as appealing as calculus, but I haven’t hung out with Louis in a while so..” He trails off. 

Niall hums in response and nods understandingly. “Yeah, but isn’t he the one who flaked on you?” He points out. Well at least, that is what Niall has been seeing about Louis and Zayn’s friendship lately. 

“Yeah, but this is his attempt to make it up to me.” Zayn tells Niall. “I kinda feel obligated.” He adds. “I don’t know when hanging out with Louis became such a chore. I mean, it used to be so easy, you feed him, you water him and he’s good to go.” 

Niall chuckles and shrugs slightly, not really knowing how to comment at that statement. “Yeah, well, I guess it’s less convenient now that he’s not in school with us.” He tells Zayn. “I mean, it’s not like you’re automatically gonna see him five times a day. Maybe common ground has shifted.” 

Zayn nods, agreeing with his boyfriend. He tilts his head down slightly to look at Niall and smiles. “You know, why don’t you come to this thing? It may not be too bad.” He suggests, thinking that maybe he could juggling time between both of his friend and boyfriend. 

Niall quickly shakes his head. “Ah, no. No. No. The whole thing seems extremely exhausting and I wasn’t really in the mood to be on, but thank you.” He tells Zayn. 

Zayn’s hand stops playing with Niall’s hair and he sighs. “Yeah, you’re right.” He says. “Dumplings and movies sounded pretty good.” 

And Niall only reply in silent nods and hums in agreement.

**************

“Hey?” Zayn calls out when he sees Louis at the backyard of Horan’s house, playing basketball as usual. 

Louis turns around and throws the ball at Zayn for him to catch. “Hey.” He says. “So this thing at Marty’s tonight, you might want to meet me there in case I hook up.” He tells Zayn. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows as he throws the ball into the hoop before he turns to face Louis. “What do you mean?” He asks confusingly. 

“Well, you might want to bring your own vehicle.” Louis replies, shrugging slightly. “Lauren, the store girl, man, she’s been giving me the vibe. Stole my cell phone while I was on the floor and put her number in it.” He tells Zayn with a cheeky smile on his face. 

“Uh, that’s not a vibe, that’s sending up a flare.” Zayn deadpans. 

Louis laughs and nods. “I know, dude. It’s so on.” He says. “Anyways, do you want me to give you directions now?” He asks and when Zayn just silently staring at him, Louis raises his eyebrows. “Or do you not want to go?” He asks, his voice goes slightly quiet as he waits for Zayn to reply. 

Zayn shakes his head quickly. “No, I want to go, I mean, I definitely want to go, I really do, I just..” He stammers. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you say it one more time maybe we’ll both believe you?” He deadpans sarcastically. 

Zayn sighs before he shakes his head. “Yeah, I mean, it’s just..I told, I kinda told Niall that I would hang out with him too and then I thought about inviting him, but that would be kind of defeat the purpose of just you and me hanging out together which is something we haven’t been able to do in a long time.” He points out. 

Louis bounces the ball on the ground and shrugs. “Yeah, I know, man, that’s why I invited you.” He deadpans. “And I didn’t invite the both of you.” He adds, looking at Zayn pointedly. 

“Right.” Zayn says shortly. “But then Niall and I were thinking..” 

“What, did you have a Louis summit or something?” Louis asks sharply, cutting Zayn off mid-sentence. 

“No.” Zayn replies quickly. 

“Kind of sounds like you did.” Louis points out. 

Zayn shakes his head as he looks at Louis. “You know, forget it. There’s no reason I can’t do both.” 

Louis throws the ball into the hoop before he turns to face Zayn again. “Just never mind, forget about it, man.” 

“No, it’s fine. Just give me the directions.” Zayn presses, knowing that he had messed up his chance to hang out with Louis the moment he opened his mouth just now. What was he thinking anyway? 

“No, seriously, I’d rather you didn’t come anyways.” Louis replies to Zayn. “I’d just have to introduce you to a bunch of people you don’t know, waste a bunch of time. I mean, you’d be out of the loop on all of the inside stuff, it would’ve been a hassle.” He says. 

Zayn sighs quietly, feeling a little bit guilty for bailing on Louis and knowing that it is because of his own fault. “Maybe next time?” He asks hopefully and Louis just shrug in response.

**************

“Yeah, come in.” Zayn shouts, hoping that the person at the door can hear him clearly. He whips around when he hears the familiar footsteps bouncing through the studio room heading towards him. 

Niall is wearing a big smile on his face as he practically leaping on his way to Zayn. “1400, baby.” He says excitedly as he waves the paper once he stands in front of Zayn. 

Zayn smiles at Niall, not so surprised with the result. He had long accepted that Niall is more genius than him in school and he is happy for his boyfriend. “Congratulations.” He tells Niall proudly before he stands up to hug his boyfriend. 

“Thank you.” Niall says happily as he tucks his head on Zayn’s shoulder and sighs contently. “Oh, no more freaking out. No more paranoia.” He says before he pulls away from Zayn and starts to plop down on the couch. “No more chasing the mailman down the street.” He continues before he passes the paper for Zayn to see. He then lay down on the couch only to sit up abruptly when he sees something between the cushion. An underwear. A girl’s underwear. He fishes the thing out and glares at Zayn. 

“Whose are those?” Zayn asks as he looks at Niall. 

“Uh, yeah, exactly.” Niall deadpans sarcastically. 

Zayn shakes his head. “Well, they’re, obviously, they’re not mine.” He points out. 

“Well, they’re obviously not mine!” Niall quips. 

Zayn tries to grab the thing from Niall’s hand but the smaller boy starts to shake his head. “Don’t look at them.” He says hotly, still glaring at Zayn. 

“I’m sorry, everything’s just a little blurry right now.” Zayn says truthfully. 

Niall starts to stand up and tries to control his emotion while Zayn is replacing his spot on the couch. “Okay, you know what, I’m gonna take a second and wait for you to provide some type of explanation as to why this hooker thong is in your couch cushion.” Niall says to Zayn, still holding the thing with the tip of his index finger. “You have 10 seconds.” 

Zayn falls into silence for a moment before he starts to reply to Niall. “I gave Louis a key.” He says simply. 

When Niall realizes on what Zayn is implying, his eyes goes wide before he throws the thong away. “Ewww!!” He says disgustingly. 

Zayn smiles at his boyfriend’s action and shakes his head in amusement. “And for the record, that’s a long time to hold any stranger’s thong.” He teases Niall. 

Niall, looking a bit flustered when Zayn is teasing him, just roll his eyes and shakes his head. “So is this like your arrangement? Does he do this all the time?” He asks, looking at Zayn for answer. 

Zayn shrugs lightly. “I hope not. This is the first I’ve heard of it, I swear.” 

Niall nods, still contemplating about the situation. “So, he just comes in here with random people and doesn’t even ask you? Does that..does that not creep you out?” He asks curiously. 

“It doesn’t make me feel great.” Zayn admits truthfully as he looks at Niall. “But it’s Louis, he doesn’t use the same logic as us? You know, to him an empty room is fair fame.” 

Niall shakes his head, disagreeing with his brother’s behaviour. “This isn’t the boiler room at the school.” He points out. “This is your studio.” He adds. “Are you going to talk to him?” 

Zayn shrugs and shakes his head. “I don’t think so.” He replies simply. 

“Why?” Niall asks, raising his eyebrows as he looks at Zayn curiously. 

Zayn sighs before he replies. “Because it doesn’t seem like the best time to come down on him right now.” 

Niall nods in understanding before he too, starts to sigh. “Okay, so when will it be a good time? When he starts filming in here?” 

Zayn hums before he sighs, again. “We should’ve just gone to that party.” He points out. 

“You think that if we went to that party he wouldn’t have done this?” Niall asks. “You don’t even know when this happened. Maybe it’s happened more than once.” He says before he starts to walk over to sit beside Zayn on the couch. He turns his head to his right to look at his boyfriend. “Zayn, friendships don’t fall apart because you miss a party or two. They fall apart because you stop talking about stuff and you let the little things slide because they just don’t feel worth it.” He points out, hoping that Zayn understands on what he is saying. “If you want to work this stuff out with Louis, you’re gonna have to talk to him.”

**************

Louis is juggling his keys on his way to his truck when he spots Zayn’s car is parked in front of his car. He raises his eyebrows confusingly when Zayn starts to step out of the car. “Hey, man. Niall’s not here.” He tells the younger boy. 

Zayn nods slightly before he takes a step closer towards Louis. “Yeah, I know, I uh, I actually came by to talk to you.” He starts, looking at Louis. 

“Well, I’m late to pick up Hilary.” Louis says before he starts to open the door of his car. “Or Sasha? I don’t know, I’ll know when I see the face. Anyways, I’ll catch up with you later.” He tells Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, actually, uh, we should probably talk about this now.” He tells Louis. “One of your girls left her panties in my couch.” He points out and Louis looks at Zayn with a busted expression on his face. “You had sex in my studio and you didn’t even tell me.” Zayn continues. “What’s that all about?” 

Louis shrugs lightly. “Well, I was gonna tell you.” He replies. “You might have actually impressed by the conquest.” He adds with a slight chuckle. 

Zayn shakes his head, bemused by Louis’s attitude. “No, I don’t think I would’ve been impressed by the conquest. Alright, this isn’t funny.” He retorts. 

Louis rolls his eyes at Zayn and shakes his head. “You know what, whatever.” He says before he starts to turn around and starts to step into his car. 

Zayn huffs in annoyance when Louis doesn’t seem to want to take his words seriously. “No, you can’t use my studio for that kind of crap.” He quips. 

“Okay, I won’t do it again.” Louis says simply, completely oblivious to Zayn’s anger. 

Zayn snorts as he looks at Louis. “Why are you being like this?” 

“How am I being?” Louis snaps, obviously not too oblivious about the situation because he knows what Zayn is getting on about. “I’m sitting here getting attacked for having a little harmless fun.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes at Louis’s answer and shakes his head. “Are you really? Cause it doesn’t look like you’re having very much fun.” He deadpans. “In fact, you look kinda messed up.” 

“Oh, well, I’m sorry. You know what, we can’t all be like you, Zayn, and fall in love magically with the boy of our dreams. Alright, some of us take a little bit longer. I really apologize if my slumming is bumming you out.” Louis snaps, getting angry at Zayn’s overdramatic gesture. 

“You know, I don’t care what you do or who you do it with.” Zayn points out. 

“Okay, God, great. Thank you. I’ve been dying for your approval.” Louis deadpans sarcastically. 

Zayn shakes his head. “All I’m trying to say..”

“You shouldn’t be saying anything, okay?” Louis snaps, cutting Zayn off. “You don’t know where I’m at. Alright, you have no idea what it’s like being me right now. Alright, I’m sure it’s pretty easy for you to sit in that billion dollar studio your daddy built for you and take shots at me.” 

“You think my life is easy?” Zayn asks madly. “You wouldn’t last 10 seconds on my schedule. You have no idea what life is like!” 

“I know exactly what your like is like, cause you haven’t shut up about it since you got back.” Louis quips. “I gotta study. I gotta go to Julliard. I gotta practice the piano.” He mocks as he glares at Zayn. 

“Hey, you might’ve given up on your life, but I haven’t given up on mine!” Zayn quips back. “So, yeah, I’m gonna practice and yeah, I might not be as much fun to be around for the next little while, but I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it right now because it’s important. And if I don’t..”

“You’ll end up like me.”

“Exactly!” Zayn says. “All right and I wouldn’t want that.” He says, they both glaring at each other for a moment before they both turn around and steps into their own cars, slamming the doors angrily.

**************

Niall peeks through the kitchen’s window for a second before he steps into the space. “Morning everybody!” He greets happily once he enters the kitchen and spots his parents. “Wanna see something amazing?” He asks, looking at both of them. 

Bobby smiles at his youngest son and nods. “Always.” He says. When Niall hands him the letter, Bobby eyes goes wide. “Your SAT scores?” He asks, looking at Niall for answer. 

Niall nods happily and he lets his father to read the letter while he starts to pour out the juice from the box into his glass.

“1400!” Bobby reads out loud and Maura gasps proudly. “Niall, this is remarkable.” She tells Niall, smiling brightly at her youngest son. 

Niall grins and nods happily. “I know. Now check out the 750 on verbal. That was all you, dad.” He says, looking at his father. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows confusingly. “Why me?” 

“Well, your crazy nursery rhymes.” Niall replies to his father. “Remember how you used to replace the normal words with really hard ones in some wacko attempt to make studying fun. Apparently not so wacko.” He points out, grinning at his father. 

Bobby smiles widely. “You remember that?” 

Niall nods eagerly. “Of course I do, much to the annoyance of everyone in my study group.” He says with a laugh. “Remember, A triumvirate of purblind plagues, a triumvirate of purblind plagues, espy how they scuttle, espy how they scuttle..” Niall singsongs while he is doing the hand gesture animatedly. 

“Triumvirate was the first word on my test. It was smooth sailing after that.” Niall adds happily, still wearing a big grin on his face. “Anyways, I gotta go to school.” He says before he goes to hug his father. “You’re the best. I love you.” He says before he pulls away and goes to hug his mother after that. “I love you too, mum.” He adds, before he flees, whistling on his way out of his house.

**************

Zayn is on his way to throw out the trash when he spots Louis in front of his house. He nods to acknowledge Louis and let out a simple, “hey.” 

Louis nods as well before he walks over towards Zayn and throws something to the younger guy. ”Just gonna return this.” 

Zayn catches the thing and looks at Louis confusingly before he throws it back to Louis. “You can keep the key, Louis.” He says truthfully. 

Louis shakes his head. “Yeah, I don’t really need it.” He says, putting the key on top of the bin nearby. 

Zayn sighs and shakes his head. “Look, things got out of hand last night.” He admits truthfully, looking at Louis. “We both said stuff we didn’t mean.” He points out. “Maybe it’s a good thing. I mean obviously we had a lot to say to each other.” 

Louis shrugs slightly at Zayn’s words. “Yeah, it’s probably long overdue.”

Zayn nods. “So now we can just move past it.” 

Louis shakes his head and shrugs again. “I think we kind of are past it.” He admits quietly. 

Zayn scrunches his forehead and looks at Louis confusingly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well, maybe whatever reason we were friends before in the first place isn’t there anymore.” Louis says before he pauses. “It’s okay, you know, things happen.” 

“Yeah, things change if you let them, not if you try.” Zayn points out, hoping that Louis understands about his point. 

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t want to try.” He says firmly. “I just, I can’t be around you right now, Zayn.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows at Louis. “What are you talking about?” He asks confusingly.

Louis sighs as he looks at Zayn. “You know what it’s like trying to be your friend, Zayn? It was easier before. I mean, I had my thing I was good at and you had your thing, you know. Kind of balanced each other out somehow. But uh, it’s all off now, you know, it’s not like you need my advice on anything anymore.” He tells Zayn. “You got your stuff figured out, which is awesome. I’m psyched for you or whatnot, but, uh..” He trails off. 

“But what?” 

“But it’s too hard for me, man.” Louis admits truthfully. “I know it’s not supposed to be a competition or whatever but I can’t help it if it feels like that, you know.” He says. “It’s like I’m constantly in this race with you and I always wind up the loser.” He adds. “I just need to step back for a little while. Get my life back on track without having to pace myself next to you.” 

“If that’s what you want, I’m not gonna fight you on it?” Zayn asks and Louis nods. Zayn, not having any of it, starts to shake his head. “I disagree.”

Louis shrugs slightly, completely brushing Zayn’s off, obviously has been thinking about this a lot. “Yeah I know. Catch you later.” He tells Zayn before he turns around, stepping into his car and drives away, leaving Zayn feeling like he just lost a best friend.

**************

Yasir steps into the room and raising his eyebrows confusingly as he spots Zayn at the dining table. “Hey, you stole my table.” He says before he puts down all of the books in his hands on the table. 

Zayn glances up from his book and turns his head to look at his father. “Yeah, sorry, I needed the big one.” He says and shrugs. 

Yasir nods understandingly. “Can I join you?”

“Go for it.” Zayn replies. “Though you’re probably not gonna stick around, apparently I drive people away.” He adds. 

Yasir looks at Zayn, knowing that something must be wrong by the tone of Zayn’s voice. “Is it Niall?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, Niall’s great. So in order for the balance of the universe to be restored, something else has to suck.” He points out before he pauses. “Louis is pissed at me.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, what happened?” He asks, knowing that Zayn and Louis has been quite a good friends, especially after Liam’s death and he never heard that both of the boys had fought, ever. 

Zayn shrugs. “A bunch of things I didn’t realize were happening.” He tells his father. “I think the main problem was I didn’t realize I wasn’t there for him. Kind of bailed on our friendship.” 

Yasir nods understandingly. “Well, you’ve been pretty busy lately. Why don’t you cut yourself some slack?” He says gently. 

“Yeah, it’s just, I knew that I was gonna have to give up a lot for the piano, but I never thought I would have to sacrifice my friends.” Zayn says and sighs. “I just thought I could have it all.” 

“Well, you can’t.” Yasir deadpans. 

Zayn looks at his father and shakes his head. “You want to think about that some more before you crush my spirit entirely?” 

Yasir laughs, looking at his eldest son. “Zayn, listen, hey, you know the sacrifices we make for the things that we love, they define us.” He tells his son. “I met a woman this week who gave up on everything, her entire life, really, just to be there for her husband. And the crazy part is that she didn’t make that decision consciously. She didn’t do it because she wanted to be a martyr or a saint. She didn’t choose it. It chose her. And now, it’s just who she is.” 

“Well, maybe it’s not who I am.” Zayn points out. “I’m tired of choosing the piano over everything else.” He adds with a heavy sigh. 

Yasir shakes his head, disagreeing with Zayn. “But you’re not choosing it over everything else.” He says. “You’re keeping those things in your life that inspire you. Music, Niall, family, your schoolwork.” 

“My schoolwork doesn’t inspire me.” Zayn deadpans. 

Yasir nods understandingly. “Yeah, but if you give that up I’ll kill you.” He says and Zayn smirks at his father’s words. “Look, everything is going to find it’s natural place, they don’t just disappear. They just shuffle around a little bit. And your friends, the good ones anyway, they always find a way back.” 

Zayn falls into silent, contemplating on his father’s words for a moment before he nods. “So, you’re gonna help out this woman?” He asks curiously, knowing that his father will come to such a great length to help his patients. 

Yasir nods and smiles. “I’m gonna try.” He tells Zayn. 

“Sounds like it’s gonna be a lot of work.” Zayn points out, looking at the pile of books on the table. 

Yasir hums before he starts to speak again. “Yeah. I’m gonna be bogged down a bit, that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be here if you or..” He pauses, looking at Zayn, hoping that his son is getting his point. 

Zayn smiles at his father in understanding and nods. “I know.” And he hopes his father is right about good friends who will always find a way back, like Zayn is hoping for Louis will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter preview: 
> 
> _Zayn sighs, looking at Niall. “I don’t know. It’s a lot of pressure. You’re giving up things for us. It’s like we don’t fight, a lot. But yesterday..”_
> 
> _Niall shakes his head. “That barely counted.” He says, disagreeing with Zayn._
> 
> _“Yeah, what if we did fight? What if we broke up? Or worse what if we stay together just long enough that you get stuck in a city with nothing to do but hate me?” Zayn asks._


	6. Say I love you when you're not listening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry for the lateness of the next chapter. Kinda promised myself to update a chapter per week but last week was so busy I didn't have the time to finish this chapter. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I apologize in advance if there are too many mistakes. Only proofreading it once before posting. Just can't wait to post, haha. I'll check/edit the mistakes later (if any). And yes, enjoy!
> 
> oh and btw, 
> 
> Title is taken from **[Christina Perri ft. Jason Mraz - Distance](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROqTa1mn_qc)**

_”Tell us about yourself in such a way that we will have a good sense of who you are; 500 words. I wish you would’ve asked me that two years ago. I could’ve told you exactly who I was, who I’d be. Two years ago I knew it all and the thing is, I was right.”_

**************

Zayn scrunches his eyebrows as he listens to Niall’s talking. “How far is that from Juilliard?” He asks as he looks at Niall when they walking down the hallway. 

Niall stops flipping through his little notebook and talking altogether before he turns his head to look at Zayn. “What, NYU? It’s like 50 blocks.” He replies to his boyfriend. “You can walk it with a good pair of shoes.” He adds, smiling slightly at Zayn. 

Zayn nods and hums quietly. “That’s not bad, what else you got?” He asks as he points at the list that he’s seeing written in Niall’s little notebook. 

Niall reads through the list again before he speaks up. “Sarah Lawrence. It’s in Bronxville.” He tells Zayn. “It’s about 40 minutes outside of the city by train, but apparently they are very tattoo-friendly, so that’s good.” He adds before they both stop walking when they reach Zayn’s locker. Niall leans on the other locker slightly and looks at Zayn. “Is this too much?” He asks. “I told you that I was only applying to schools that were close to your conservatories and now you’re actually hearing me and you’re actually freaking out.” He points out, nibbling his lips in worried. 

“No, I was just thinking that 40 minutes is pretty far.” Zayn says, shaking his head and smiles as he looks at Niall. 

Niall smiles in relief after he hears Zayn’s words. “And now I like you again.” He says fondly. 

Zayn closes his locker before he pulls Niall’s hand into his as they walk together towards their class. Every now and then someone will say ‘hi’ to them, well not to both of them, usually Niall but Zayn is used to it. “Well, think about it, end of the year all the other couples are going to be freaking out about the long distance thing and we’ll be set.” Zayn says, looking at Niall with a smile on his face. 

Niall nods and hums happily, tighten their intertwined hands. “Exactly and it’s not like New York and Boston don’t have the best schools anyways.” He says, winking at Zayn. 

Zayn chuckles and shakes his head at his cute boyfriend. “It’s like you’re a genius sometimes.” He says as he pinches Niall’s cheeks fondly. 

Niall, as expected, blushes profusely before he replies to Zayn. “I know, I could do journalism at Columbia, NYU has the best theatre, and Tufts has the amazing pre-med.” He points out. 

Zayn nods and they both start to walk in comfortable silence again before Zayn hears his name is being called. “Zayn Malik?” Someone calls from behind them and both of them turn around to look at the person. “The Guidance Counsellor’s office asked me to call you down.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What for? He asks curiously.

**************

Slightly hesitates, Zayn opens the door and starts to step into the counsellor’s office. In the chair is the older man that Zayn doesn’t recognize and the man nods at him in acknowledgement. “Hi, I’m Chris Templeman. I’m a recruiter from Mullingar’s Community College.” The man says as he beckons for Zayn to sit in front of his chair. 

“Well, I hate to tell you, but I, uh, don’t really play any sports.” Zayn says before he takes a seat in front of the man. “They don’t even let me go to the games.” He adds truthfully. 

The man shakes his head before he starts to speak. “I’m with our Music department.” He tells Zayn. “We try to keep an eye out for the local talent, like the sports guys do. I hear that you’re applying to schools now. Let me guess, uh, Juilliard, Berkeley College of Music and..?” The man asks. 

“That’s it.” Zayn nods and says simply. 

“Guess you’re sleeping well.” The man says, his tone indifference. 

Zayn shakes his head quickly, not sure whether the man in front of him is thinking on how arrogant he must sounds by his answer. “No, I don’t mean to be, uh, you know, I mean, it’s very cool just to be asked.” He explains. “But, uh, I’m pretty set on going to Juilliard. It’s kinda the place to be.” 

The man nods understandingly after Zayn’s words. “Don’t be so sure. Take it from me.”

Zayn’s eyes goes wide as he looks at the man. “You went to Juilliard?” He asks in curiosity. 

The man nods and smiles slightly at Zayn. “Class of ’89.” He states. 

“Wow.” Zayn says in disbelief. He never met someone that have been graduated from Juilliard before, let alone meeting the person in the small town. 

“Think of it this way. You go there, you come out knowing a lot about actually playing of piano. And that’s it.” The man tells Zayn, his eyes boring into Zayn’s brown ones. “You come out of our program and you have top-notch technical training. And that’s worth something out there in the job world, trust me.” 

Zayn, finally getting over his confusion, starts to nod politely as he finally understand about the man’s point of calling him to the office. “Look, I appreciate all this, but I’m pretty set with my plan.” He tells the older man in determination. 

The man shakes his head disapprovingly as he looks at Zayn. “You’re barely eighteen. I don’t know how you can be expected to know how you’re gonna feel ten years from now. Or thirty.” He says. “I mean, you’re ready to say that this is what you want to do for the rest of your life?” He asks. “It never hurts to explore your options. Talk it over with your parents. If you feel like coming down, I’ll get you on the tour. Think about it.”

**************

_”Plans are like candy to the Fates. The only thing you could ever be sure of is nothing ever goes the way you imagined. I should probably be used to that by now.”_

**************

“Niall, would you come here please?” Bobby calls out for his youngest son from the living room. 

Niall quickens his pace downstairs as he replies to his father’s call. “Yeah?” He says and stops abruptly at the entrance of the living room when he sees his father. “Whoa.” He exclaims in surprise as he looks at all over the space. 

Bobby grins as he stares at his youngest son. “Niall James Horan, allow me to be the first to introduce you to,” he says before he spreads his arms wide, “your future.” He adds. “Suffering from application anxiety, overwhelmed by the options. Well, fret no more. Because we answer all questions tonight.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows before he takes a step towards the table at the middle of the room which is full with snapbacks, brochures and other things that Niall can’t even think about. “What? What did you do?” He asks curiously. 

Bobby chuckles slightly and shrugs. “Oh, only sent away for every piece of material available on the top 50 universities that you can choose from.” He says. “Applications. Promotional videos. Articles. Reviews. Everything you ever wanted to know about schools but you were afraid to order online.” He adds as he grabs two pair of books on the table. “I have Kaplan’s. I have Barron’s. I even have the Hillel Guide to Jewish Life on Campus for good measure. Dim sum has been ordered, so in a few hours I shall be dumpling stuffed and you will have narrowed all this down to your top ten.” Bobby points out as he wraps one of his arms around Niall’s shoulder. “We shall begin with the, uh, shameful Number 50, Penn State, and work all the way up to..” He trails off and grabs the black and orange stripe scarf nearby, “..Princeton.” 

Niall shakes his head amusingly at his father’s excitement. “Dad, this is great. Really, I mean I love the hats. All 50 of them. But, um, I already know where I want to apply.” He tells his father truthfully. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows in surprise as he looks at his youngest son. “You do?” 

“Kinda, yeah.” Niall says and nods. 

“Well, I was rather hoping we could make those decisions together.” Bobby points out. 

Niall starts to feel bad when he sees the slight disappointment on his father’s face and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I did the research at school like a month ago.” He tells his father. “I already have my list down.” He adds before he starts to search for the papers on the table. “NYU, Columbia, Amherst, Sarah Lawrence, Tufts, and Harvard and etc.” He says as he gathers the brochures of mentioned colleges that are already scattered on the table. “And I’m good.” 

Bobby stares at his youngest son disbelievingly. “Is that all?” He asks. 

Niall raises his eyebrows at his father. “It’s 8 schools.” He points out. 

“It’s not as if you can’t afford a 9th.” Bobby tells his son. “Say a school with remarkable prestige, consistently ranked in the top 3 by U.S. News, such as Princeton, perhaps. Or, or how about..Princeton?”

Niall laughs and shakes his head at his father’s persistence. “Dad, I know you’ve always had a thing for them. It’s just I don’t see myself there, I mean eating clubs, what’s that about?” 

Bobby shakes his head. “Come now, this was always your dream school.” He points out. “Ni, I have baby pictures of you in a little orange sweatshirt.” He says. “Can’t you just fill out the application for good measure?” 

“It’s one more I don’t have to write, but, uh, this is great, dad.” Niall says as he points out at all the stuffs around the room. “Honestly, you saved me like a week of downloading, so thank you.” He adds before he hugs his father briefly. “I’ll start tonight.” He continues before he turns around and retreats from the living room.

**************

“I’m gonna go practice.” Zayn announces as he grabs his jacket and starts to walk towards the front door. But not before he stops and looks at his father who is sitting with Harry on the couch at the living room. “Oh, FYI, I’m ditching school tomorrow.” He tells his father. 

Harry raises his eyebrows and looks at his father. “Can I ditch too?” He asks. 

“Only if you get a job.” Yasir deadpans, glancing between both of his sons before he turns to look at Zayn with a questioning look. 

“It’s a school thing. I’m gonna go down to MCC.” Zayn explains to his father. “They’ve got this walking tour, thought I might check it out.” 

“Mullingar? Why? For Niall?” Yasir asks. 

Zayn shakes his head. “Uh, no, for me. I figured I might put in an application.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows in confusion. “Wait a minute, when did this happen?” 

“Today.” Zayn replies. “Why, you think it’s weird?” He asks, looking at his father for answer. 

“Do you?” 

Zayn shrugs and shakes his head. “No.” 

“Well, neither do I.” Yasir says. “I’m just surprised.” He adds. “We talked about all this last year, there was yelling and then there was hugging. We decided on the conservatories, Juilliard. We had a plan.” 

Zayn shrugs again. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t mean I can’t look.” He says. “Besides, if I go there, I can take something other than piano and anyway it’s just a tour.” 

Yasir nods. “You know what, you’re right. We’ll have a great time.” He tells Zayn and ignores the way Harry snorts, obviously listening to the conversation while watching the television. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, not we. You’re not coming.” He says firmly. 

“Come on, it’s just a walking tour.” Yasir points out. “I’ll walk with you. See what they have to offer. I’ll clear my schedule.” He adds determinedly, obviously leaving no room for Zayn to argue. 

Zayn sighs, knowing that his father can be as persuasive as he can be. “Fine.” 

Yasir smiles and nods. “Great. You drive, I’ll bring the doughnuts.” He says before he starts to stand up. “I’m going to check my schedule now.” He adds before he walks out from the living room. 

Once his father leaves, Harry turns his head to look at his brother who is standing with a defeated look at the entrance of the living room. “You have no learning curve.” He deadpans. 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” He grumbles, knowing that Harry is absolutely right.

**************

“Can we go now? I’m starving.” Yasir asks as he looks at Zayn. 

“We haven’t seen the departments yet.” Zayn replies. 

“They’re big and brown and blocky like every other building here.” Yasir deadpans. “It’s like they built this place with an endowment from Lego.” 

Zayn ignores his father’s whining and keeps his pacing with the other people in the walking tour, listening to the guide at the front. “Don’t mind my father. He had a stroke recently. Very sad.” He says to the guide when she looks at both of them as his father keeps whining and complaining about how boring the tour is.

**************

“Okay, so, this is our music hall.” 

“You got any cool concerts coming through?” Zayn asks the guide in front of the group. 

The woman nods. “All the time. Last year we had a lecture from the guy who invented the Koosh Ball.” She replies to Zayn. 

Yasir looks around the hall and nods before popping up his chewing gum. “Oh, good acoustics.” He points out. 

“Actually, yeah, there’s no gum in the hall.” The woman says as she looks at Yasir. 

Yasir nods. “Oh, fine.” He says. “All gone. See?” He adds after he swallows the gum and opens his mouth for the guide to see. 

Zayn rolls his eyes, annoyed with his father at the moment. “Okay, that’s it. Go wait in the car. Tour’s over for you.” He says to his father. 

“Oh, come on. I want to see more.” Yasir says stubbornly. “I hear they’ve got the fifth-largest microfiche collection.” 

“Yeah, I just wanna keep the tour moving so if anyone is tired or they just maybe wanna stay here and work out some family issues, that’s fine.” The guide says before she leads the other people in the group to walk out from the room. 

“Thank you.” Zayn says sarcastically as he looks at his father when they are left alone in the music room. 

“Any time.” Yasir replies easily. 

“Why’d you bother coming if you were gonna bag the place the entire time?” Zayn asks curiously. 

“Well, I thought I might get a sweatshirt. My son gave up a promising future and all I got was an instate tuition.” Yasir deadpans. “Come on, you’re really not gonna go here.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Yeah, I might.” 

Yasir looks at Zayn. “After all you’ve worked for. You’re gonna settle for this?” 

“What’s wrong with this place?” Zayn asks defensively. 

“Nothing, if you’re not trying to get into Juilliard.” Yasir says. “Do you know the chances of you’re getting accepted there?” 

“Yeah, better than you do.” Zayn quips. 

Yasir shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. There are 4000 kids applying and only 30 spots for piano. The slightest loss of focus and the next kid gets your spot.” He says. “You can’t even give yourself the option of failure.”

“Well, maybe failure’s not such a bad thing.” Zayn quips again. “Piano takes up so much of my life that I don’t have time for anything else.” 

“You’re not supposed to be doing anything else.” Yasir says firmly. “You are a concert pianist.” 

“How do you know?” Zayn challenges. “How do I even know?” He adds. “You’ve been pressuring me for so long I can’t remember if piano was something I actually wanted or something I agreed to when I was 10.” 

“Oh, come on.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “You just want me to go to some special school for special kids cause God forbid I turn out to be normal, instead of a magazine cover.” He deadpans. 

“You know what, you can blame me if you want to, but I’m trying to keep you on track and all I see right now is you getting scared.” Yasir points out bluntly. “This is when you need to trust your abilities and dive in, not look for some kind of escape route.” He says. “You cannot be afraid of failure.”

“I’m not scared of what happens if I fail and don’t get in.” Zayn says. “I’m scared of what happens if I do.” He admits truthfully. “If I go to Juilliard, then that’s it, one thing, piano. I’ll be just like you right before she died.” He adds. “I mean, it took mom dying to wake you up, I don’t wanna have to lose something to keep myself from turning into you.” He says, leaving Yasir speechless and Zayn walks out of the room, trailing behind the small tour group around the campus earlier.

**************

“Excellent roast, Maura.” Bobby compliments as he looks at his wife across the dining table, smiling at her lovingly. 

Maura returns the smile, as loving as she could and nods. “Well, thank you, dear.” Louis nods, agreeing with his father, mumbling as his mouth is full with foods and Maura chuckles as she looks at her eldest son. “Also, thank you. I think.” She points out. 

“You know who has fine meal programs for incoming freshman?” Bobby says as he glances at the boy on the left side of the table. 

Niall snorts and shakes his head. “Dad, I’m not going to Princeton.” He tells his father. “Get over it.” 

“I just can’t see why you won’t add one more application.” Bobby points out. “You’ve covered all the comparable schools in the northeast, Ivies include, to that rules out reverse snobbery.” He says. “You have something against New Jersey? Because outside of Newark, it’s actually quite blue-collared.” 

Louis glances between his father and brother, confused at what the hell they are talking about when suddenly he realizes it. “Oh, nice. Let me guess. Only New York and Boston.” He points out and when his father looks at him confusingly, Louis sighs. ‘Well, connect the dots. He’s staying near the hub.”

“Shut up, Louis.” Niall says in annoyance as he glares at his brother from across the table. 

Bobby glances between both of his sons confusingly. “What hub?” 

Louis looks at Niall and smirks. “Man, there’s a lot of good piano schools in them cities, aren’t there?” 

Bobby, finally understands and shakes his head disappointingly at his youngest son. “Oh, so then all of this, all this talk of researching your options, I got my list down, that was all about choosing your schools around your boyfriend?” He asks. 

Louis huffs, shaking his head disapprovingly. “Ah, you couldn’t even add another one for dad?” He tempts. 

Niall glares at Louis again. “Actually, I did. Zayn and I are both applying to MCC and DCU as a safety which you know anyone with a pulse could get in there so..” He quips, angry at Louis for pointing out about his plan on applying for the universities. 

Louis glares at Niall as soon as he hears that and throws down his napkin on the table before stands up, walking out from the dining area angrily. 

“Now that was unnecessary.” Maura scolds her youngest son, looking at him sternly. 

Niall rolls his eyes. “So was he.” He deadpans. 

Maura shakes her head before she too starts to stand up, before she walks out from the dining area, heading towards Louis’s room, trying to coax her eldest son to at least finish his dinner. 

“Well, this is plum absurd, not to mention disappointing.” Bobby says when he is left alone with Niall at the table. “No, correction, I will gladly mention disappointing.” He adds. “I cannot believe that you’d be willing to throw away whole avenues for your future for a boy.” 

Niall crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. “I’m not throwing anything away.” He replies defensively. “I’m still applying to 8 perfectly great schools that have everything I want plus plenty of bumper sticker pride for you. Why does it matter what city they’re in?” 

“It matters if you limit even one of your options to chase after a relationship that could end.” Bobby quips. “What happens if you break up?” 

“So we break up.” Niall says simply. “At least, I’m not left wondering.” He adds. 

“Oh, by then, it could be too late to transfer.” Bobby points out. 

Niall sighs. “Dad, I’ve earned the right to choose where I want to go.” He says. “My grades are great, I rocked the SATs, what else do you want from me?” 

Bobby shakes his head. “For you not to choose this of all moments to revert to infancy.” He tells Niall. 

“How is it infantile to know that something’s important to me?” Niall asks, staring at his father. “It’s not like I’m going around with Zayn saying that we’re gonna get married, which, by the way, is exactly what you were doing when you were even younger than me, but I know how he makes me feel and I know that it’s worth making the small sacrifice so that we can stay together, if we want.” He adds before he starts to stand up, picking up his plates and heading towards the sink. 

“Oh, no. No. No. You’re not gonna throw that at me and then pretend that it’s reasonable.” Bobby says as he trails his son to the kitchen. “You may have forgotten but you tried these bleary eyed romantics with me last year when you begged me to be grateful for how well that Cro-Magnon understood you until I had to pump his stomach in that abandoned motel.” He points out. 

Niall puts down his dishes, a little too harder than usual before he turns around to face his father. “This isn’t even close to the same thing.” 

Bobby shakes his head, disagreeing with his youngest son. “Of course it is, Niall. This is what you do. You throw yourself into a relationship. You drop everything else, toss your family aside, then yourself all for some elaborate pageant in your mind.” Bobby says. “You already changed your goals to suit his.” 

Niall sighs as he crosses his arms over his chest, staring at his father. “How many times do I have to tell you, dad?” Niall asks. “That is not my goal anymore. Time to let it go and maybe trust me for once.” He explains, trying to make his father understands about his choice. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Look, how can I trust you when you make decisions like this?” 

“Like what?” 

“Like have you forgotten how easily things change?” Bobby quips. 

Niall stares at his father for a moment before he huffs angrily. “You think I need you to remind me? I found the person I wanted to be with and he died. Why should I lose more?” He says before he walks away, passing by his father on his way out of the kitchen. 

Bobby sighs, knowing that he has poking on the wrong topic, but he means well. “Niall?” 

Niall stops walking and turns around to face his father again. “I want this to work and I’ll do whatever I can gladly. If that means pissing you off, dad. I’m sorry, but some things are just more important than you.” He says, before he walks away again, leaving his father alone at the kitchen.

**************

“These things are impossible.” Zayn whines as he stares at the paper and playing around with a pen between his fingers. 

Niall shakes his head as he listens to Zayn’s whine. “It’s just your basic who are you and why do you want to come here essay.” He points out to his boyfriend. 

“Declare your intended major.” Zayn reads one of the sections in the paper. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Try Music…next.” He says before he chuckles. “This is actually really fun when it’s not yours.” 

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, except if I go to MCC, then piano’s probably not priority.” 

Niall nods understandingly. “”Okay, so it’s just a safety, check Undeclared and move on.” He says and when Zayn keeps frowning, Niall looks at his boyfriend confusingly. “What?” 

“Undeclared.” Zayn says simply. “I just never thought of myself as one of the clueless before.” 

“What, like the rest of the world?” Niall asks sarcastically. “Some of us are actually highly functioning members of society.” He adds. 

Zayn shakes his head. “Folding sweaters at mini-malls.” He adds for Niall. The other boy nods before he closes his books and Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What, now you’re going?” Zayn asks curiously. 

“It’s called pre-emptive bailing.” Niall says. “I’m trying to help, you’re trying to bite my head off.” He adds. “I can see where this is going and you do not really have time for a full fight cycle so call me when you’re done.” He continues before he finishes packing all his books and walking away from their lunch table.

**************

“Niall, this isn’t gonna be another one of those make-out apologies, is it?” Zayn shouts to reply to the knocking on his garage door. He turns around when the door opens and almost chokes in surprise when he sees Niall’s father is the one there. “Oh, hey, Dr. Horan. Uh, that wasn’t your son I was talking about.” Zayn rambles nervously. “Niall and I, we’re just friends. I mean…” He rambles on before he stops, realizing that he is being an idiot at the moment. “Uh, are you looking for my dad?” 

Bobby shakes his head as he closes the door. “Actually, I’ve come to see you.” He says once he turns around to face Zayn properly. 

Zayn gulps nervously. “Should I be scared?’ He asks. 

“Every day of your life.” Bobby deadpans. And then he laughs and shakes his head. “This regards another matter. I have a favor to ask.” He says as he walks closer to Zayn and pulling out an envelope before he passes it to Zayn. 

Zayn accepts the paper and reads the title. “A Princeton application?” He asks, raising his eyebrow at Bobby. 

Bobby nods. “All filled out, check signed, correct postage. He only needs to write the essay, which he can do in his sleep, if he wanted to.” 

“Which he doesn’t.” Zayn points out, knowing exactly what Dr. Horan is talking about. 

Bobby nods again. “I know he doesn’t.” He says. “I also know that he used to. It used to be all that he would talk about. ‘When I go to Princeton, I want to live where Fitzgerald lived’. At some point between freshman year and his relationship with you, that changed.” 

Zayn shrugs. “Well, a lot has happened since then, not just me.” He points out. 

Bobby nods understandingly. “I only want him somewhere where he can explore every facet of his curiosity.” He tells Zayn. “Princeton excels in everything that Niall has even the vaguest interest in, English, Biology, Engineering. He should have that.” 

“You know as well as I do, that there’s no convincing him of anything that’s not already in his head.” Zayn says. “I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I still have bruises.” He admits truthfully. 

Bobby nods, knowing fully well that Niall can be as stubborn as he wants to be. “I know.” He says. “But right now, you’re the one he listens to. Didn’t used to be that way, but now it is, so here I am.” He adds. “That was his dream once, don’t deny him the option of turning it down.” 

Zayn looks at the application letter in his hand again and nods. “I can try.”

Bobby smiles as he looks at Zayn. “Well, that’s more than I can do. Thank you.” He says. “It’s good to hear, by the way.” 

“What is?” Zayn asks. 

“Your playing.” Bobby says. “It is as good as they say. That was an arrangement of Bach motet, wasn’t it?” 

“Well, it’s an attempt at least.” Zayn admits truthfully. “My teacher’s got me breaking down choral structure, he’s evil.” He continues. “I didn’t know that you knew music. Do you play?” 

Bobby smiles and shrugs. “I wanted to. But as with surgery, I was born with the ear but not the hands.” He says. “God has a cruel sense of humor. Apparently, I’m his favorite channel.” 

Zayn nods understandingly. “I’ve been working all night on the obbligato.” He says. “Usually it just comes, but when I get stuck, it could take a while.” He adds and when Bobby chuckles, he raises his eyebrows. “Is that funny?” 

“No, I’m sorry.” Bobby says and shakes his head. “In a way, you’re so much like your father.” He points out. “See, you’ve just described what it is to be gifted and you don’t even know it.” He adds. “The part that you call effortless, that would be the life’s ambition of the less blessed and the part where it’s actually a bit of work, that’s an argument they wouldn’t even be able to follow.” 

“Well, the experts seem to disagree.” Zayn blurts out. “I’ve got paperwork and very expensive schools to prove it.” 

Bobby shakes his head slightly before he speaks up again. “Well, that’s technique, the part that can actually be taught and graded, improved. What you’ve been given, it’s more like the rain, simply happens.” He says to Zayn. “Nothing can alter it’s timing or course. You just have to dress for the occasion.” He adds with a smile. “You know, uh, there are words to that piece. Bach borrowed a poem by Johann Franck, do you know what they mean?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No.” 

Bobby smiles. “You should find out.” He says before he turns around and leaves the room.

**************

“Hey, you might be mad at me but I applied for this one conservatory. It’s for a conservatory Will and I were talking about upping my odds, and he, he likes this place, The Curtis Institute, somewhere in New Jersey, I think.” Zayn says as he reaches Niall in front of their school building and starts to walk towards the parking area. 

“You don’t sound excited about it.” Niall points out as he glances at Zayn. 

“Ah, it’s not A-list but they have pretty good infrastructure there.” Zayn replies. “So what do you think? Can you add one more to the list?” He asks before they stop walking and leans on the wall near the parking lot. 

Niall crosses his arms over his chest. “Jersey, huh? Looks like I could apply to Princeton, keep the dad happy. Two birds, right?” He points out. 

“Whatever works.” Zayn replies, not really looking at Niall’s eyes at the moment. 

Niall stares at Zayn’s uneasiness with an amused snort and shakes his head. “You’re so gonna crack.” He deadpans. 

“What are you talking about?” Zayn asks, trying to play dumb, hoping that Niall won’t even know about the real reason. 

Niall shakes his head. “He talked to you.” He points out, staring into Zayn’s eyes, looking for the answer. 

Zayn snorts, knowing fully well that Niall won’t get fooled easily. “Wow, smart boy. Major downside.” He says. “Don’t be mad, okay?” 

“At him or you?” Niall asks. 

Zayn shrugs. “Both. Preferably me first if I had to choose.” He says. “Well, it’s kinda cool, he’s just trying. You did kinda break his heart though.” He adds, looking at Niall. “Okay, now you’re mad.” He says as he looks at the expression on Niall’s face. 

“Look, it depends, Zayn. Do you want me to apply because my dad backed up the guilt trip or because you’re worried about us?” Niall asks bluntly. 

Zayn sighs, looking at Niall. “I don’t know. It’s a lot of pressure. You’re giving up things for us. It’s like we don’t fight, a lot. But yesterday..” 

Niall shakes his head. “That barely counted.” He says, disagreeing with Zayn. 

“Yeah, what if we did fight? What if we broke up? Or worse what if we stay together just long enough that you get stuck in a city with nothing to do but hate me?” Zayn asks. 

They both fall into silence for a moment before Niall starts to open his mouth again. “Wow.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Zayn says and sighs. 

“You’re really worried about that stuff?” Niall asks. 

“One of us has to.” Zayn replies with a nod. 

Niall takes a deep breath and glances at the open space in front of them before he turns his head to look at Zayn again. “It took me a long time for me to get here, Zayn. You’ve got to do a lot of fancy talking, but this is what I want. I want to stay in love. You, me, us. That’s not gonna change. And so what if I’m wrong? That’s my mistake to make. You don’t get to protect me. You can try but I’ll just kick your ass. It’s not your job or my dad’s job. I don’t need guarantees, Zayn. You can worry all you want but I’m believing in us.” He says, staring at Zayn’s eyes for the whole time and smiles slightly at his boyfriend before he pulls Zayn in for a kiss.

**************

_”The thing is you can never tell when everything you counted on might fall apart, no matter how solid the rock._

**************

“Nice try, Bobby.” Niall says to his father when he bumps into him on his way to his bedroom after he gets back from his dinner outing with Zayn. 

“With what?” Bobby asks, looking at his youngest son, knowing that Niall must’ve known about his little meeting with Zayn the night before. 

“You had him, too.” Niall points out amusingly as he smiles at his father. “You tried. He tried. Everybody tried.” He says before he starts to sigh. “Call me the difficult one. As a consolation prize, I’ve decided not to be mad at you for going to my boyfriend behind my back.” 

“I just want you to have the best.” Bobby points out. 

Niall nods. “I know.” He says understandingly. “And you got major points and good intention, but your execution sucks.” 

“It’s only one more application.” Bobby says, trying to get Niall to at least applying for the university that he had always talked about when he was a kid. 

Niall shakes his head and smiles. “No, dad. Time to let it go.” He says as he reaches his father and pinches both of his father’s cheeks. “Trust me, kiddo. It’s gonna be okay.” He says before he pulls his father into a hug. “I love you. Good night, dad.” He says when he pulls away and turns around, before heading towards his room. 

Bobby shakes his head before he glances slightly at his left when he senses the presence of his wife. He looks at his wife and Maura raises her eyebrows at him. “He didn’t bulge?” 

“He didn’t even blink.” Bobby replies. 

Maura smiles and shakes her head. “He’s in love, dear.” She points out softly. 

Bobby sighs. “How’s is that a comfort, again?” He asks, staring at his wife. 

Maura looks at her husband and shakes her head. “Try not to worry. I happen to know another Horan who didn’t apply to Princeton so he could be with the girl he fell in love with. He turned out just fine.” She says knowingly before she leans in to kiss her husband. “I’m going up to bed. Loose the pout. And join me soon.”

**************

_”Rocks break. Everything changes, even when you think you’re sure, especially. To be fair, if I was one of the Fates that looking down at the best laid plans of dumb little people, I’d probably see mine and want to mess with them too.”_

**************

Yasir knocks on the door once before he steps into the room and finds Zayn, sitting in front of his laptop. “Did I bug you?” He asks. 

“Well, mission accomplished.” Zayn deadpans before he turns around to look at his father. 

Yasir chuckles and nods. “I uh, I want to give you this.” He says as he throws a hat for Zayn to catch. 

Zayn reads the MCC logo on the hat and puts it on his table. “If this gesture implies an apology, you can skip the rest.” He says. 

“Well, humor me.” Yasir says. “I rehearsed.” He deadpans. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing a lot, Zayn. I thought I was helping you to get what you want. You’re right, that’s a lot about you that I don’t know. I know you’re worried but you could never turn to what I was, Zayn. It gets more than just me and you. And it doesn’t mean you can’t question the plan, and if at any point you feel like you’re giving up too much, you tell me. We’ll change it. You can always go somewhere else. But the truth is, when I close my eyes, and I think about you in four years, I see you at Juilliard.” 

Zayn nods understandingly. “I know you do.” He says. “And I appreciate the crazy dad train session. It’s just that I get feel so stressed sometimes that I forget why I’m even doing this. The truth is, when I close my eyes, I don’t know where I see myself in four years.” 

“Well, then try it.”

“What?” 

“Close your eyes and try to visualize it.” Yasir says. “Come on, picture it. Close your eyes.” He insists and Zayn finally closes his eyes after he groans out loud at his father’s request. “You graduate, you move ahead, you’re happy. What are you doing? Where are you?” 

“I’m playing.” Zayn says softly as he pictures the scene as he closes his eyes. “In Juilliard.” 

Yasir nods, satisfied with Zayn’s answer. “Then that’s where we’re going for.” He tells Zayn. “That’s where we’ll get you.” He says firmly.

**************

_”You want to know about me in 500 words? I get scared sometimes and disappointed. I have doubts and I love getting my way. I don’t like change, but I know it’s good for me and inevitable so I welcome it as best as I can. There’s a poem by Johann Franck that says it better than I will. **‘Defy the old dragon, defy fear. The world may rage and quake but I shall remain singing in perfect peace’**.”_

Zayn pulls out the envelope from the pocket of his hoodie and reads the address of the admission office again to make sure that it is correct. 

_”Yeah, things happen, things you don’t expect, or want, or like. The world rages and you become someone you didn’t even know you’d ever be. And there you are, in your clothes, in your life, this is my future, this is me.”_

He then reads out the spelling of the name at the corner of the envelope again and nods to himself, satisfied with the correct spelling of ‘Niall Horan’ before he opens the mail box and puts the envelope inside it. 

_”This is me and I want things I never thought I would. I want the possibilities a school like Princeton can afford. A place to grow, meet new people. A place to be surprised when life turns out to be nothing like I imagined.”_

Zayn turns around and tightens his hoodie as he walks away from the mailbox. His job is done at the moment. 

_”You have to be grateful for it, in perfect peace.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh and just wondering, what are your thoughts about this story so far? is it good? or boring? or too slow? (but I did say it's a slow burn story.lol).


	7. Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is taken from **[Coldplay - Yellow](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKNxeF4KMsY)**
> 
> p/s: Sorry for the late update! Busy life apparently. *sigh* Anyway, enjoy! :D

“Let me tell you about the birds and the bees..” Maggie sings out loud, stopping abruptly when she hears someone is opening the front door of the clinic. She turns around, only to find the eldest son of Dr. Malik is standing by the door. 

Zayn grins at the older woman once she turns around to look at him. “Nice voice.” He tells her. “Sound a little like Rod Stewart.” He adds. 

Maggie nods and chuckles fondly at Zayn’s comment. “I’ll take it.” She says. Kids nowadays really know how to be charming beyond their years apparently. “So, what can I do for you, Zayn?” She asks curiously. 

Zayn shifts his legs, suddenly feeling a little bit nervous to reply to the older woman’s question. “Oh, I just..I just came by to talk to Dr. Paul.” He says. “I don’t have an appointment, but won’t be more than 15 seconds.” He adds hopefully, looking at the older woman in front of him. 

Maggie shrugs easily and nods. “No problem. He just got in.” She tells Zayn. “Go on back to Exam Room One and I’ll let him know you’re here.” She adds, pointing at the room which is at the end of the hallway. 

Zayn smiles politely at the old woman and nods. “Thanks.” He says before he starts to walk towards the room that she has pointed at. 

Zayn takes a seat on the edge of the small bed in the room, sitting there for about five minutes before Dr. Paul starts to enter the room and smiles brightly at him. “Zayn Malik.” The man calls out, looking at Zayn. “Seems to be a pretty common last name around here. Unless?” He asks, trying to get the confirmation out of his curiosity. 

Zayn shrugs slightly and nods, knowing that Dr. Paul is talking about his father. “Yeah. Son of..” He trails off. 

The older man’s eyes goes wide with a new excitement as soon as Zayn confirms on his curiosity earlier. “You’re Zayn Malik’s son. No way?” 

“Way.” Zayn deadpans. 

Paul shakes his head disbelievingly before he pulls Zayn into a hug. “Your dad is the man.” The man says eagerly. “I looked him up when I got here. There are like 500,000 websites with his name in them. He’s like the Madonna of medicine.” He adds once he pulls away from the hug. 

Zayn hums, too used to listen to the same sentence from people who has heard about his father. Especially the young doctors like Dr. Paul. “I’ll be sure to pass that on.” He tells the man in front of him. 

Paul nods before he clasps his hands and starts to pull out his pen from his pocket, scribbling down on the paper on his clipboard. “Well, so what are you doing here?”

Zayn sighs quietly knowing that this question will pop up sooner or later. “I just came by to get you know tested for whatever. Sexually.” He says quietly to the doctor. He is thankful that the young doctor is another doctors in town that he can go to for things like this. He can’t go to his father for the test and definitely not to Dr. Horan either. That is just a no-no for him. “I mean, whatever you test for, go ahead and test away.” He adds. 

Paul nods understandingly after he hears Zayn’s answer. “Sure. We can do that, no problem.” He tells Zayn. “Uh, I just need you fill out some paperwork here.” He adds as he rummages through the small cabinet nearby, looking for the form that Zayn needs to be filled. “It’s just, uh, basic sexual history stuff, if that’s okay. It’s standard procedure.” He explains. 

“Yeah, no, that’s great.” Zayn replies casually and nods. 

“Okay, here you go.” Paul says as he passes the paper and pen to Zayn. “So, what’s he like as a dad? Is he cool?” He asks, while Zayn is starting to fill up the form. 

“Yeah, I mean, you know, he’s uh, he’s my dad.” Zayn replies lamely, not knowing what else to say. It’s the truth though. 

Paul nods again. “When I was a resident at Cedars, I met tons of famous people so you know, you’d meet their kids and they’d be all kinds of crazy. I just figured that anybody who is as successful as your dad would probably be a lousy parent, but you seem pretty normal.” He points out, still looking at Zayn. 

Zayn ignores Paul’s rant and keeps filling the paperwork silently. “Yeah, it’s asking me here if I’ve ever had sex with animals?” He asks, pointing at the form and raising his eyebrows at the doctor who is standing in front of him. 

“Oh, yeah, people do weird things.” Paul explains. “Just write no.” He tells Zayn. “Unless?” 

“No!” Zayn replies quickly. “Definitely no.” He says, shaking his head and shudders slightly at the image of having sex with animals. Definitely no. 

“This is kind of funny. I usually don’t get this excited.” Paul says, still talking about Zayn’s father apparently. “I mean, I treated Spielberg.”

“Conventional intercourse would be?” Zayn asks again, interrupting Paul’s rant. 

“Uh, intercourse with a woman.” Paul replies. 

Zayn nods. “Right.” 

“Anyway, all the other residents, they were totally curious.” Paul continues. “You know, like what kind of DVDs did Spielberg bring in? What kinds of books did he read?” 

“I am done.” Zayn says, still ignoring the man’s rant. After all, he has to go to school as soon as he can so he won’t miss his first class. 

Paul stops talking and takes the paper from Zayn’s hand. “Oh, great.” He says before he takes a small chair and starts to sit in front of Zayn, reading through the form. “Okay.” 

“You know, on the unprotected question, um, let’s say like two times you didn’t have something with you and once it broke. I mean, what are your odds of catching something?” Zayn asks as he looks at the doctor in curiosity. The question has been plagued on his mind for quite a while but he doesn’t want to ask his father and Dr. Horan for obvious reason. 

“Seeing as you’re not an intravenous drug user and you’ve only had one partner, I consider you a low-risk candidate.” Paul says, telling Zayn the truth based on his experience. 

Zayn smiles in relief and nods. “Good.” 

Paul reads through the form again before he looks up to look at Zayn. “So, you’re not currently sexually active?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Uh, no, I’m not. Uh, but I’m hoping to be, which is why I’m here.” He adds, slightly flustered at the admission. 

Paul smiles and nods understandingly. “Well, that’s responsible of you.” He points out. 

Zayn shrugs, feeling embarrassed all of sudden. “I kinda gotta get going, so..” He tells the doctor and the man nods. 

“Of course.” Paul says. “Okay, we can do these tests for you right now. I’ll run the whole panel and we can have results for you within a few days.” He continues before he turns around towards the door. “Back in a flash.” He adds before he dashes out of the room.

**************

“How’s it going, beautiful?”

Nina rolls her eyes behind the counter as she hears the familiar voice of Paul. Ever since the guy had stepped into the town, all he’s doing is annoyed Yasir and Bobby (doctors-in-town issues) and keep hitting on Nina. Even though they did have a date which ended up with Nina admitted that she has a feeling for someone else, Paul promised her that he won’t give up on her. 

“Ah, spare me the sweet talk and tell me that you can do short order.” Nina says, glancing around the café as it is crowded at the moment. 

Paul raises his eyebrows. “That good, huh?” 

Nina nods. “Yeah.” She replies simply. 

“Hey, have you seen Yasir at all around today?” Paul asks. 

“Uh, actually, I haven’t.” Nina replies, shaking her head. “Why? Is everything okay?” She asks curiously. 

Paul nods. “Yeah, yeah. I just need to talk to him.” He tells the woman in front of him. “So, hey, how’s everything going with the high school guy?” He asks and when Nina looks at him confusingly, he starts to elaborate. “You know, the one that you’re in love with.” 

“Oh, oh, yeah, it’s going okay.” Nina replies simply. 

“Just okay?” Paul asks curiously. “Well, what did you say when you told him? Did he flip out?” 

Nina shakes her head. “Uh, not exactly.” 

“Talk to me. What happened?” Paul presses, trying to coax the deeds from Nina. After all, she rejected her because of that guy. The mysterious guy that he doesn’t even know. 

Nina sighs and shakes her head at Paul’s insistence. “Nothing’s going on.” She tells the man truthfully. “I haven’t said anything to him yet.” She admits and sighs again when Paul is staring at her. “Don’t look at me like that. I just, I haven’t had a chance. The right moment hasn’t come up.” 

“Well, it’s never gonna be the right moment.” Paul points out. “You just have to do it.” 

Nina raises her eyebrows. “Why is this so important to you?” She asks curiously. 

Paul shrugs. “Because it’s just, I hate to see you wasting your time pining.” He says. “That makes two of us and that’s just a total waste of energy.” He adds with a grin on his face. 

Nina chuckles slightly and shakes her head. “It’s just..complicated.” She tells Paul. “He’s a good friend and as cliché as this may sound, it’s hard to cross that line.” She admits truthfully. “If I say something and he doesn’t feel the same way back, it could get all weird between us and our whole friendship is gonna change.” 

Paul shrugs, not really agreeing with Nina’s words. “Well, it already has, at least for you.” He points out. “I mean, the fact that you’re not being honest with him right now, what kind of friendship is that?” He adds. “And besides, if you don’t tell him, I’m gonna keep on flirting with you.” 

“Paul..”

Paul laughs and shrugs. “Okay. Don’t be scared, Nin. Just do it.” He says encouragingly.

**************

“The first times always hurts but it gets easier, I promise.” Niall says as Harry keeps wincing and whining as he is trying to put on his contact lenses.

“Oh, maybe I’m not ready for this.” Harry whines again. Putting something into his eyes are really sting and Harry really really really hates that. 

Niall shakes his head. “Well, maybe just try it one more time.” He says, still encouraging Harry to put on the lenses. 

“Niall, I’m leaving now.” Maura says as she appears by the door of Niall’s room. “I’ll be home on Monday. You have Grandma’s number?” She asks and Niall nods distractedly, still trying to help Harry with his contact lenses situation. 

‘Oh my God, I think it’s stuck up inside my eyeball.” Harry whines in horror, his hand reaching blindly for Niall. 

Niall hops off the sink counter and starts to face Harry properly. “Oh, let me see. Let me see.” He says as he guides Harry to sit down slightly so that he can take a look at Harry’s eyes. “Oh yeah, I see it. It’s to the left. Do you want me to grab it?” He asks. 

Maura looks at both boys in amusement, and partly in concern too. “Are you sure you should be doing this?” She asks, glancing between the two boys. They are practically like brothers now and Maura can’t help but get attached to Harry too, she feels like the boy is already like another son of hers. 

“We’re fine, mom.” Niall replies. “I think I got it. I think I got it.” Niall tells Harry as he tries to adjust the position of the lens in the younger boy’s eyes using his finger. 

“You sure?’ Harry asks sceptically, still not fond of the idea of using the contact lenses. 

Niall nods. “I got it.” He says before he pulls Harry’s shoulder and turns the younger boy around once the lenses are finally fits on Harry’s eyeballs. “Mom, doesn’t Harry look good without his glasses?” 

Maura smiles and nods. “Handsome.” She says lovingly. 

Harry blushes and chuckles. “Stop it.” He says, knowing that Maura is a very lovely woman and he knows now where Niall got his great personality from. 

Maura laughs and leans down to kiss Niall’s cheek. “You boys have fun.” She says before she starts to turn around and walking out from the room, leaving the two boys to continue with their activity. 

“Bye. I love you!” Niall shouts from his spot, knowing that his mother can hear him clearly from the hallway. Then he turns to look at Harry again. “See, you’re suffering now, but it’s gonna be totally worth it, I promise.” Niall says as both of them turn around to face the mirror. 

Harry stares at his reflection at the mirror and he kind of agree with Niall. He really looks different without his glasses. “So, is Louis home?” He asks, trying to sound as casual as possible. 

“He’s, uh, working at the restaurant today, I think. Why?” 

“Just curious.” Harry replies shortly. When Niall rolls his eyes and snorts at Harry’s answer, the younger boy raises his eyebrows. “What?” 

Niall shakes his head before he starts to make his way to his bed and plopping down on it. “Okay, I don’t want to sound like I hate my brother right now, because I don’t, but you can’t like him.” Niall says as he looks at Harry. 

“You think he’s out of my league.” Harry states. 

“No.” Niall replies quickly, not wanting for Harry to misunderstand on his words. “It’s just better to be on the same level as the person that you like in terms of experience.” He adds. “How far have you gone?” He asks bluntly and Harry’s eyes goes wide in shock at the question. “Oh, come on. It’s not like I’m the king of experience either. Trust me.” Niall adds. 

Harry shakes his head and buries his face into his hands before he looks up to see Niall again. “Uh, I’ve never kissed a guy.” He admits, totally flustered but he trusts Niall so he doesn’t mind admitting that to his best friend. 

Niall nods. “Okay.” He says. “Now you see, Louis is at the other end of the fooling around spectrum.” Niall points out. “I mean, there’s huge gap between someone who’s never kissed a guy and someone who’s been with half of the high school’s population.” He adds. “It’s like he’s Tiger Wood and you’re playing miniature golf.” He continues. “It’s not all about how far you’ve gone. It has a lot to do with attitude too. I mean, Zayn and I, we take these things very seriously. We’re comfortable talking about them. Louis doesn’t take anything seriously at all. Do you really want your first kiss to be with someone like that?” 

Harry groans and sighs. “Maybe.” He whines miserably. It’s not like he can control his feeling over Louis. It just happens and he doesn’t know how to stop it. 

“Harry, no.” Niall whines as well. “Oh my gosh, just forget about my brother and I promise that I will make it my mission to find you someone better.” Niall says in determination. “And besides, with those new contact lenses, I’m not even gonna have to try.” 

Harry sighs, plopping down besides Niall on the bed. “Okay.” He says before he pauses. “So, when’s he getting home?” 

And that last question is how he gets the bruise on his arm courtesy of Niall’s annoyed punch.

**************

Paul opens the door to the office and steps inside, trying to find the person that he wants to talk to. He doesn’t need to look further when Yasir is on his way out from the office. “Are we alone?” Paul asks when Yasir notices him near the door.

“Well, Dr. Horan left an hour ago if that’s who you’re referring to.” Yasir replies to the younger doctor. 

Paul nods. “So, hey, uh, I just wanted to run something by you.” He says. 

“How’s Maggie doing?” Yasir asks, slightly worried about Maggie’s new position at the other doctor’s office. 

“Uh, great. She’s been great.” Paul replies. 

“Has she made you her famous spiced cider yet?” Yasir asks with a smile as he remembering the taste of Maggie’s specialty. 

Paul shakes his head. “I can’t say that I’ve had the cider. No.” 

“Oh, that’s too bad. It’s terrific.” Yasir says. “You know she mills the spices herself.” 

“Look,” Paul says, cutting Yasir off before he can ramble more about food. “A boy, a senior, came into my office today for an STD test.” 

Yasir nods. “Okay.” 

“Okay. And I’m sure it’s different in L.A., I’m just curious as to how it works here in Mullingar.” Paul says. It’s not his fault that he’s from L.A. and he knows Yasir had the same experience as him, trying to adjust to being a doctor in small town. “Do you give them free contraceptive?” He asks. 

“It’s your call, doctor.” Yasir says. “You do whatever you want to do.” 

Paul nods. “Well, yes, but since the kid’s a minor, I mean, do you notify the parent?” He asks, looking at Yasir. 

Yasir contemplating on Paul’s words for a moment before he starts to ask. “Parent or parents?” 

“Actually I think he’s being raised by a single dad.” Paul says, knowing that the other doctor in front of him is getting to get the clue on who was the kid that he was referring about. 

Yasir nods understandingly. “Well, in that case, I would, uh, talk to him, make sure that he’s being safe and if anything abnormal showed up in the tests..”

Paul shakes his head. “No, I don’t’ think that’s the issue here. I think he’s just doing them as precaution, you know, before.”

“Right.” Yasir says shortly. “Well, it seems like you’re covering all your bases.” 

“Okay. Good.” Paul says. “I was just trying to do the right thing here, you know. Don’t want to make any more rookie mistakes in this town.” He adds. “Thanks, Yasir.”

**************

Bobby sighs as he is just about to eat his noodle when he hears someone starts to knock on the door. He puts his bowl down on the table before he stands up and starts to walk towards the door. “Coming!” He shouts before he starts to open the door and raising his eyebrows when he finds Yasir is standing in front of the door. “Ah, Dr. Malik. Come in. Come in.” He says as he opens the door wider, leading the other doctor to walk into his house. “Your timing is impeccable. I’m just about to have a noodle. You want some?” He offers as they reach the living room and he starts to grab his bowl, continuing with his dinner.

Yasir shakes his head. “Nah, I just ate.” He says. “Bobby, listen, uh..”

“You know, I have to tell you this whole bachelorhood thing is not at all intolerable.” Bobby says, cutting Yasir off. “Do you realize I have serving utensils sitting in the sink un-rinsed?” He asks, grinning at the other doctor. “Un-rinsed.” He repeats. “Now do you have any idea what kind of freedom that is?” 

“Zayn and Niall are going to have sex.” Yasir blurts out. 

And at that words, Bobby almost choke on his noodle before he puts down his bowl down slowly, still in shock. “What?” 

“Paul came by my office after work today.” Yasir starts to explain. “Apparently Zayn went to see him for an STD test, just as a precaution before they..” He trails off. 

“Before they..” Bobby drawls slowly. 

Yasir nods, confirming Bobby’s unfinished sentence. “Well, I’m assuming it hasn’t happened yet. At least that’s what he thought.” 

Bobby nods. “Paul told you this?” He asks, wiping his mouth with the napkin, suddenly losing his appetite. 

“Yes. The point is..”

“The point is they’re going to have sex.” Bobby deadpans, starting to stand up and pacing back and forth in front of the television. 

Yasir nods again. “Looks like it, yes.” 

“But how? How did this happen?” Bobby groans, looking up as if he is asking the God for the answer. 

“Well, they’re both seniors in high school. They’re going off to college next year, it’s not that unusual.” Yasir points out. “Zayn’s already had sex so he’s probably over ready.” 

Bobby’s eyes goes wide before he turns around to face Yasir again. “Do you think he’s pressuring Niall?” 

Yasir shakes his head. “No, I don’t think that and you don’t think that.” 

Bobby sighs, knowing that Yasir is right. “I think my noodle is coming back on me. That’s what I think.” He says as he feels like he is about to literally being sick at the moment. “My God, whatever happened to good old-fashioned handholding? A chaste kiss on the cheek in the presence of a chaperone?” 

“I don’t know, Bobby, maybe they went the way of the poodle skirt.” Yasir deadpans sarcastically. 

“And you had to go ahead and built that soundproof garage for Zayn.” Bobby points out. “Why not just buy them their very own Motel 6?” 

“Oh, calm down, Bobby.” Yasir says. “The reason I came here…” 

“Oh, don’t tell me to calm down, Yasir. You don’t understand.” Bobby says, cutting Yasir mid-sentence. 

“Of course I understand, Zayn’s my son.” Yasir says. “I’m just as upset about this as you are.” He points out. 

“No, you’re not, it’s not the same. I had the talk with Louis last year. It lasted all of 15 minutes and I never even thought about it again.” Bobby tells the other man. “But Niall..” He says before he starts to sit on the couch and sighs miserably. “Niall, he’s my little boy. It’s different, Yasir. You’ll see when you’re having this conversation with Harry, get back to me.” 

Yasir sighs and takes a seat beside Bobby on the couch before he nods understandingly. “You’re right.” He says. He does understand Bobby’s feelings towards the youngest son. He is feeling the same way too. Not that they don’t love the eldest son, but the youngest sons are the babies. They need to protect the babies more. “Listen, I’ll talk to Zayn. Maybe, I can convince him to hold off for a while.” Yasir tells the other man. 

Bobby nods. “And I’ll talk to Niall too. Perhaps I’ll.” He says before he groans when he realizes something. “Oh God, Maura is out of town all weekend visiting that wretched mother of hers. Do you think this can wait until Monday? Cause I don’t want to do this alone.” 

“Well, we can wait. The question is, can they wait?” Yasir says, before he adds. “Welcome to bachelorhood, Bobby.” 

Bobby rolls his eyes and sighs heavily. “Yasir? Do you have any idea what you’re going to say?” He asks, glancing at the man besides him. 

“Nope.” Yasir replies. “You?” 

Bobby shakes his head. “No, not whatsoever.”

**************

“You’re in the middle of something?” Yasir asks as soon as he steps into the little studio and spots Zayn in front of his piano.

Zayn turns around to face his father and shakes his head. “Not anymore. What’s up?” 

Yasir walks towards the couch and sits on it before he starts to speak up again. “I want to talk to you about sex.” He says bluntly. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows at his father. “Well, I don’t know how much pot you smoked in the 60s, but we had this conversation already last year.” He points out. 

“I know that.” Yasir says and nods. 

“We gonna have it again with everyone I date until I’m married?” Zayn asks, looking at his father. 

“Hopefully this will be my swan song. But this one’s a little different.” Yasir says. “This time I’m going to tell you that I don’t think you should..have sex..with Niall.” He tells Zayn. “That was supposed to be a complete sentence.” 

Zayn shakes his head in confusion. “Are you forbidding it?” He asks. 

“Obviously, I can’t control the decisions that you make but I would appreciate if you would hear me out.” Yasir says. “I know that you and Niall are in love and I know that feeling is very powerful. It makes you want to push the relationship forward, but I would like you to think about how it was for you with Perrie last year.” 

“How did you know that I had sex with Perrie?” Zayn asks curiously. 

“Because at some point the relationship deepened. It changed. You changed. And I saw it happen.” Yasir says, trying to be calm as possible so Zayn won’t know that he is lying about how he knows about that fact. “And I want you to think about how you felt after it happened and multiply those feelings by a thousand and that’s how it’s going to be for Niall.”

“Yeah, I hear you and if I didn’t think that I was in this for the long haul, then I might agree.” Zayn says. 

“That’s just it. You are in it for the long haul. I can see that. Which is why you can afford to take your time.” Yasir says. “I mean, how’s it going for you two right now?”

“Great. We’re the best we’ve ever been.” Zayn admits truthfully. 

“Well, sex changes that. Forever.” Yasir points out. “Dynamics – the focus of the relationship. I mean, you two have worked so hard for so long to be together and to be happy. You willing to risk that?” 

Zayn stares at his father for a moment before he shrugs. “Not when you put it like that.” 

“Look, I know that sex has a way of feeling like the prize especially at your age and I understand.” Yasir says. “All I’m asking for you to do is just take your time. I just want you to, uh, enjoy getting to that. It’s worth it.” 

Zayn hums and contemplating on his father’s words for a moment before he nods. “Impressive.” 

“Yeah?” Yasir asks, grinning at his eldest son. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, I mean, definitely one of your better ones. It hasn’t come yet, but, uh, you know, if it does, I’ll be sure to think about it.”

**************

“Crudités?”

Niall looks at his father suspiciously, confusing about the situation at the moment. “What is all of this?” He asks, looking around at the mountain of foods on the coffee table. 

“High tea. Try this spread. It’s wonderful.” Bobby replies as he passes the plate from his hand to his youngest son.

Niall shakes his head. “No, I’m good.” He tells his father. “Dad, you realize the last time we had a tea party I was like four.” He points out, looking at his father curiously. 

“Yes. Yes.” Bobby says and nods. “And do you remember those tea parties? How we used to make those little cakes in your Easy Bake Oven. Those were delicious, weren’t they?” 

“Um, yeah.” Niall replies, not really sure how to respond. It was a long time ago. And he was a kid for God’s sake. How could he really remember the taste? 

Bobby nods as he starts to pour the tea into the cup. “Yes, but remember how we took them out prematurely.” He tells his youngest son. “They wouldn’t be ready. Because, Ni, it wasn’t time yet.” He adds when Niall looks at him confusingly, Bobby starts to shake his head, knowing that being discreet is not his strong suit at all. So he just blurt it out. ‘I’m talking about sex, Niall. I know that you and Zayn have discussed it.” 

Niall almost choke on his tea as soon as the words left his father’s mouth. “What?!” He shrieks in surprise. “No. No we haven’t.”

“Of course you have.” Bobby presses on. 

Niall shakes his head. “No we haven’t, dad.” He says firmly, looking at his father. 

Bobby sighs. “Come now, we should be able to engage in an honest discourse on the subject without falling prey to the typical flustering. I’m a hip dad.” 

Niall shakes his head again and starts to fidget on his seat, suddenly feeling embarrassed to talk to his father about the topic. “For the record, you can’t say that you’re hip.” Niall says. “It kind of goes against actually being hip.” He adds before he starts to glance around the room. “Is mom home yet?” Niall asks, trying to change the subject. 

“Oh, we do not need your mother.” Bobby says determinedly. “Here, have a scone.” He says, passing the food to Niall. “Listen to me.”

Niall rolls his eyes and starts to whine. “Dad…” 

Bobby shakes his head, not going to back out of the topic at the moment. “Just..I know that you and Zayn aren’t kids anymore. You’re teenagers with all of those hormones coursing through your bodies. Why wouldn’t you be thinking about sex?” 

Niall sighs, knowing that there is no way in hell that he’ll be getting out of this topic without talking to his father. So he talks. “I guess it’s not that I’m not thinking about it. I just..” He trails off hesitantly. 

“Oh, Ni, it’s only natural.” Bobby points out. “With the media bombarding you with suggestive imagery every change it gets not to mention those ridiculous commercials, which leave very little to the imagination. And I’m sure that many of your peers are even trying it out.” 

Niall shrugs. “Yeah, some of them.” He admits truthfully. After all, his father’s words make some sense. He does think about it sometimes. 

“Lots of them.” Bobby corrects his youngest son before he continues. “See, the point is you wanted your first time to be with someone that you’re in love with and you felt comfortable with.”

Niall nods, agreeing with his father. “Yeah, that’s true.” 

“See, I understand these things.” Bobby points out. 

Niall falls into silence for a moment, staring at the floor before he glances up to look at his father again. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ve just avoided talking with Zayn about this because I’m…I don’t know, scared of my sexuality.” He tells his father, suddenly feeling excited about the new self-discovery about his sexuality. 

“No. What’s that now? You..” Bobby stammers, suddenly feeling like Niall is missing the point that he is trying to tell him at the moment. Bobby wants his youngest son to wait until he’s ready but by the look on Niall’s face at the moment, it shows the exact opposite of what Bobby was hoping for. 

“Dad, you’re probably dead on. I’m probably a lot closer to this than I thought.” Niall starts to ramble. “Maybe it’s time I start talking to Zayn about this stuff.” 

“Wait, so you truly have not actually..?”

Niall shakes his head, obviously not having a clue about his father’s point and grins. “Dad, this is fantastic. You really clarified a lot of stuff for me.” He tells his father, suddenly feeling excited to meet Zayn. He starts to stand up and leaning down to pecks on his father’s cheek. “And you’re right, we didn’t need mom at all for this.” He says, before he turns around and strides towards the front door, leaving Bobby with a hanging topic and lots of foods on the table.

**************

Louis is busy assorting the bottles of ketchup on the table when the door of the restaurant is opened and a familiar face is walking towards his direction. “Harry. Hey, uh, we don’t open until 5:30.” Louis tells the younger boy.

Harry nods. “Yeah, I know, I’m actually not here to eat.” He explains. “I was thinking of getting a part time job and I know that you really seem to enjoy working here so..” 

Louis raises his eyebrows at Harry. “What? You want a job?” 

Harry shrugs and nods. “Yeah.” He replies simply.

Louis stares at the younger boy’s face and notices the excessive blinking. “Are you okay? Do you have something in your eye?” 

Harry quickly shakes his head. “No. Well, technically yes. I’m just having some blinking issues.” He says, but part of him is hoping that Louis is noticing him without his glasses. 

Louis glances around the restaurant for a second before he looks at Harry again. “Oh, so listen my manager’s not here right now and I’m on the clock so..” 

“Uh, okay.” Harry says simply. 

“But, uh, I can get you an application if you just hang for a little while.” Louis says. “I’ve got to do a few things.” He adds, continuing to sort the ketchups. 

Harry nods quickly. “Sure, I can hang.” He says. A little bit relief that Louis doesn’t tell him to go home instead. At least he gets to watch Louis for a little bit more. 

“All right.” Louis says before he starts to do his task again. 

Harry watches as Louis continues doing his task. “You’re really good at that. Setting up really fast.” He blurts out. 

“Eh, I don’t think about it anymore.” Louis says and shrugs. “You get used to it, you know.” 

“Well, it’s obvious you’re a natural.” Harry points out. “Really coordinated and everything.” 

Louis smiles at that comment, feeling slightly flustered at the compliment. “Uh, so you want some restaurant lingo so when you sit down with Mikey you’ll sound more professional?” He asks, while he starts to open the cap of the ketchup bottles. “This is what I’m doing right here, it’s called marrying the ketchups.”

Harry snorts and grins. “Because you’re marrying two ketchups?” He asks, eyes twinkling as he looks at Louis. 

Louis laughs and nods. “Exactly.” He says as he takes the other bottle in his left hand. “Do you Mr. Heinz, take you, Miss, uh Generic Tomato Paste to be your lawfully wedded wife? I do.” He says using his animated voice and starts to clink the two bottles, making a kissy sound. 

Harry laughs at Louis’s action. “There must be a lot of inbreeding, huh?” He says and when Louis is looking at him blankly, Harry feels like he wants to smack himself for being his usual nerd self. “They’re both ketchups.” Harry starts to explain. “You know, they’re keeping it in the family.” He adds lamely. “I’m sorry, that was stupid.” 

Louis shakes his head. “Oh, no. No. I get it. It took me a while.” He says, smiling at the younger boy. “I like it. Twisted.” 

“Thanks.” Harry says, starting to smile again. 

“Yeah. Gotta got that Zayn smart thing going on.” Louis points out. “So, what are you doing right now?” He asks, looking at Harry. 

“Now?” Harry asks, raising his eyebrows curiously. 

Louis nods. “Cause I am off.” He tells Harry and starts to take off the apron on his uniform. “I was thinking about going to grab a movie. Wanna come?” 

“Yeah, uh, yeah. I can definitely come. Sure.” Harry replies, mentally congratulating himself for being able to form a sentence because he swears his heart is beating rapidly at the moment. He is going to the movie with Louis! _The_ Louis that he has been pining for. 

Louis grins, grabbing his jacket and starts to walk towards the door. “Then let’s hit it.” 

Harry, still too happy that he is afraid his heart will burst at the moment, just nods at Louis. “Okay.” He says simply before he starts to follow Louis’s lead happily.

**************

“Hello? Yasir?” Nina calls out as she pokes her head to look into the house as she opens the back door of Malik’s house.

“Nina, there’s my lovely next door neighbour.” Yasir says, walking towards the woman, gesturing for her to come in. “You know what you are looking at? You are looking at one hell of a father-son communicator.”

Nina raises her eyebrows as she looks at Yasir. “Is that so?” 

Yasir nods and hums happily in response. “I had a very nice chat with Zayn this morning and, uh, let’s just say that I was extremely effective.” He tells the woman smugly. 

Nina smiles and nods. “That sounds like a good enough reason for a night on the town, which is why I came by.” She tells the man in front of her. 

“Oh?” 

“Well, I have a sitter for tonight.” Nina says, suddenly feeling nervous to ask Yasir out. “She offered to work. I think she was just looking for an excuse to get away from her boyfriend but I just heard about this new topes place. Sounds really good. You get a whole bunch of little tastes.” She adds. 

Yasir nods and smiles at his neighbour. “Oh, very Spanish. Sounds great. What time should we go?” He asks. 

“Uh, actually I made a reservation for 8 o’clock, so, uh?” Nina tells Yasir. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “A reservation?” 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“Wow, I haven’t heard that term in over a year.” Yasir says. “Must be pretty swanky.” He points out. 

Nina nods. “Yeah, well, it’s just new.” She says. “So, uh, so I’ll come by around 7:30?” 

Yasir grins and nods. “Yeah, perfect.” 

“Okay, see you at 7:30.”

**************

“So, I uh, had sort of an interesting conversation with my dad today.” Niall tells Zayn as they both are cleaning Zayn’s car together at Horan’s backyard.

“Yeah?” 

Niall nods. “Yeah, apparently he thinks we’re having sex.” He says. “Or that we’re thinking about it anyways.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows, looking at Niall from the other side of the car. “That’s a little weird.” He says. “I had the exact same conversation with my dad today.” 

Niall turns his head slightly to look at Zayn and scrunches his nose confusingly. “Really? I guess it’s in the air.” He points out. 

“How long ago did you guys have this talk?” Zayn asks. Something is definitely not right about the timing. 

“A few hours ago.” Niall replies. “The funny thing is he just sort of assumed that we’ve been thinking about it, which I haven’t really, but the fact that he was made me think that maybe we should be.” He says, looking at Zayn with a flustered face. 

“Maggie.” Zayn says simply. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Oh, I bring up sex and you bring up my grandma?” He deadpans. 

Zayn sighs, knowing that this conversation will occur sooner or later. He just didn’t think that it’ll be this soon. “Okay, so this is not a big deal so don’t like freak out or anything.” He starts, looking at Niall. “But I went and, uh, saw Dr. Paul the other day, just for you know, some routine check-ups and stuff and I decided that I should probably get tested so I did and Maggie must’ve seen my chart and told our dads which is why we’re both getting the talk.” 

Niall stops wiping the windshield abruptly before he turns to face Zayn properly. “Oh, oh, wait. You went to get tested for like HIV and stuff?”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, it seemed like the responsible things to do, so..” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Niall asks, staring at Zayn’s eyes looking for answer. 

“Uh, I don’t know.” Zayn says, smiling nervously as he looks at the expression on Niall’s face. “I guess I thought that they were my tests and they didn’t really have anything to do with you.” 

“Oh.” 

Zayn quickly shakes his head. “I mean, I took the tests for you.” He tells Niall. “I just figured I’d wait until I had a clean bill of health before I got you involved.”

“That’s romantic.” Niall points out sarcastically. “Some people get gifts and I get test results.” He deadpans and when Zayn starts to roll his eyes, Niall shakes his head. “No, I’m serious, Zayn, the second I started thinking about this, I talked to you about it, like four minutes ago. But not only did you not talk to me about it, you got a doctor’s appointment and got blood taken and, and..”

“And you’re making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be, okay.” Zayn says, cutting Niall off mid-sentence. 

“What? The getting tested or the having sex?” Niall deadpans again. 

“Either. Both.” Zayn replies. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be this massive.” 

Niall snorts. “Right, because you’re such an experienced sex god that our first time is just whatever.” 

“But..it’s not my first time.” Zayn blurts out and suddenly wishes that he can slap himself for not thinking before saying that because by the look on Niall’s face at the moment, the boy is clearly not happy with his reply. 

“But it’s OUR first time!” Niall points out. “Thanks for reminding me though because you know, you getting an STD test wasn’t enough.” He adds, starting to feel mad at his boyfriend. 

“Niall?” Zayn calls out, hoping that Niall would listen to him. 

Niall shakes his head, starting to put down the sponges on the hood and starts to clean his hands. “You know what, Zayn, it doesn’t even matter because this whole thing just made me realize that we are not even close to being ready anyways.” He says, before he starts to turn around, leaving Zayn alone at the backyard. 

Zayn watches Niall’s retreating figure and curses in frustration.

**************

“Way to do, dad, you almost had me this time.” Zayn blurts out as soon as he sees his father at the house.

Yasir puts down his book and looks at his eldest son. “What are you talking about?” 

“I know you know that I went to get tested which is why you gave me that load of crab about holding off with Niall.” Zayn points out angrily. 

“It’s not a load of crap.” Yasir says firmly. 

Zayn snorts and huffs angrily. “Ah, as if you had no idea, as if you’re just Mr. Father Knows Best.” He deadpans sarcastically. 

Yasir sighs in defeat. “All right, I knew. But you clearly didn’t want to discuss it with me.” He says. 

Zayn shakes his head, glaring at his father. “You..you most of the time just say the stupidest crap which really pisses me off, but every once in a while you actually say something that makes sense like this morning, I was actually thinking about taking your advice.” Zayn tells his father angrily.

“Look, the fact that I knew about you doctor’s appointment doesn’t change our conversation.” Yasir point out.

“Yes, it does.” Zayn says firmly. “It completely does, because it came from a totally false place. Motivated by some personal agenda which I don’t get.” 

“Well, what don’t you get?” Yasir asks. 

“Why you care? Seriously, I…why are you jumping through hoops trying to keep me from having sex? Maybe if it was my first time, I get it, but it’s not. Sex has been had so why are you freaking out now?” 

Yasir stares at Zayn for a while before he starts to speak up. “Because..with you and Niall, it’s much more serious, that’s why I..”

“I don’t care. Alright, forget it.” Zayn says, shaking his head, not wanting to listen to his father anymore and starts to turn around to walk towards his room. 

At the same time, Nina opens the door, oblivious to the tense situation. “Hey.” 

“Yeah, if I want to have sex, I’m gonna have sex and I’m not gonna talk to you about it.” Zayn shouts from the hallway, doesn’t care if Nina hears it or not as long as his father can hear him. 

Nina glances at Yasir, and watching as Zayn strides angrily leaving the room. She smiles understandingly as she looks at Yasir’s defeated face. “I’ll just cancel that reservation.”

**************

Niall knocks on the door once, twice before the door is opened and his grandmother is standing in front of him, smiling brightly as soon as she sees her youngest grandson. “Niall.”

“Hi Grandma. You totally ruined my life.” Niall blurts out, before he lets himself in. 

Maggie’s smile fades and she shakes her head knowingly. “Well, this should be fun.” She says to herself quietly as she closes the door. She then walks towards the kitchen where Niall is already helping himself out with the coffee. 

“I mean, it’s obviously not all your fault. I just don’t understand why you would go to my dad instead of coming to me, especially after everything we went through last year.” Niall continues to ramble on, while he is putting on some sugars into his coffee, not really looking at his grandmother. 

Maggie watches as her youngest grandson starts to pace around the kitchen as he rambles. “Come to you about what? You’re making me dizzy, PrIvate.” She points out. 

Niall glances at his grandmother for a while before he busies himself with his coffee making again. “I know that you know that Zayn went to get an STD test from Dr. Paul and I know that you told my dad who told Dr. Malik or you told Dr. Malik who told my dad.” He explains to his grandmother. “I’m not quite sure of the order here.” 

“Okay.” Maggie says shortly, knowing by Niall’s tone, there’s more to come. 

“The point is now, the entire population of Mullingar knows that Zayn wanted to have sex with me except for me.” Niall continues, finally finish with his coffee making and stares at his grandmother.

“So you didn’t know he was getting tested?” Maggie asks.

“No!” 

“Okay, okay.” Maggie says gently. “I’m just trying to break this down to basics. So you’re upset that Zayn didn’t tell you?”

“I’m upset because…” Niall trails off, pausing a bit before he continues. “Because this whole thing is just embarrassing.” He whines. 

“Partying in public restroom is embarrassing.” Maggie deadpans. “That’s not what got you bugged.” She points out, knowing Niall a little too well more than the boy knows himself sometimes. “So if you’re gonna throw a hissy fit at me at least be honest.” 

Niall sighs, looking at his grandmother, knowing that his grandmother is right about the real reason why he is so upset about the thing. “I feel like an idiot.” He admits truthfully. “I’ve just been trying to convince myself that Zayn and I are on the same page with this stuff, sex and everything. I mean, I knew that he slept with Perrie. He told me that but I just thought that maybe if I didn’t think about that, that I could pretend like it didn’t happen.” He adds quietly. 

Maggie raises her eyebrows in confusion. “Why does it matter that it happened?” She asks curiously. 

“Because…” Niall trails off before he continues. “How am I gonna live up to that?” He says before he stars to make his way to sit at the dining table. 

“What?” Maggie asks in surprise, slightly thrown aback by Niall’s words. “Oh, Niall.” She says once she realizes about what Niall is implying at the moment. She then moving to sit in front of Niall and stares at her youngest grandson. 

“Oh, Grandma, try to be a little unbiased here, seriously.” Niall says. “I mean, the girl’s like four years older than me. Clearly way more experienced.” He points out. “A helluva lot prettier.” He adds quietly. 

“Now watch it.” Maggie warns after she hears Niall’s words. “That’s my precious grandson you’re insulting.”

“I’m serious though.” Niall says. “I mean, I just try to imagine that Zayn and I were in the same universe and the bottom line is we’re not.”

Maggie smiles gently as she looks at Niall. “You’re in love.” She points out. “That’s the only universe that counts.” She says. “Listen to me, sex isn’t just an act you learn how to do once. It’s different with every person and every time you embark on that journey with someone new, it’s scary. No matter how many times you’ve done it before.” She adds. “Heck, the first time Irv and I…”

“Oh, Grandma, no.” Niall whines, stopping his grandmother before she can scar him with her sex story. Walking in when she was snogging her husband once had left enough scar in Niall’s memory. 

Maggie laughs and shakes her head. “Sorry.” She apologizes. “But you get what I’m saying. It’s alright to be afraid or nervous. It just means it’s important to you.”

“Yeah.” Niall says and nods. “I guess I don’t fully believe you yet, but I appreciate the thought.” He tells his grandmother. “Thank you.” He adds before he starts to shift and hugging his grandmother lovingly.

**************

“Maggie?” Paul says surprisingly when he opens his front door.

Maggie glares at the doctor. “You ever discuss a patient’s business outside of the office again, you’ll be begging for a court martial.” She says firmly. 

“How did you find out?” Paul asks. 

“I’m a God, that’s how.” Maggie deadpans. “I know all.” She says. 

“The kid is a minor and to tell you the truth he looked kind of freaked out sitting in my office all by himself. If I were his parent, I would want to know.” Paul says defensively. 

“You don’t get to make that call.” Maggie replies, firmness is still laced in her tone. “What you did was unprofessional.” She points out. 

“If you’re talking confidentiality, I didn’t mention his name, not once.” Paul says. “And I gotta say I still don’t know how you..”

“Pay attention, because it might be complicated for your California pea-sized brain to understand.” Maggie says, cutting Paul’s off mid-sentence. “Zayn Malik, son of Dr. Malik, goes out with Niall Horan, son of Dr. Horan, who happens to be my son, which makes him my grandson.” 

“Wow, it’s like a Greek play.” Paul comments. 

“That’s right.” Maggie says. “So if you ever do anything like this again, I’ll buy a broach and stab you in the eyes myself.” She adds before she starts to walk away. 

“Hey, Maggie.” Paul calls out. “How come you never make me your spiced cider?”

**************

“So, how are you liking high school so far?” Louis asks as both he and Harry are walking to the front porch of Harry’s house.

Harry smiles and shrugs. “Not bad. Kinda getting to know new and nice friend though.” He says. 

“You mean my brother and his permanent appendage.” Louis points out. 

Harry laughs and shrugs again. They both stop at the steps on the front porch, facing each other with smiles plastered on their faces. “So hey, good luck for that application. If you need any help with the restaurant lingo, give me a buzz.” Louis says to the younger boy. 

Harry’s eyes lighten up immediately. “Really?” 

Louis nods. “Yeah.” 

Harry, instinctually starts to lean closer towards Louis. The older boy takes a step back with a surprise, “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, did I lean in wrong?” Harry asks, laughing nervously as he looks at Louis. 

Louis shakes his head. “No. No. It’s just, uh, this isn’t that kind of night, Harry?” 

Harry nods, still staring at Louis with hopeful glints in his eyes. “I know, I’m trying to make it that kind of night.” He says. “I like you, Louis.” He admits truthfully. 

“Yeah, I know.” Louis says. “I kind of figured that out from before.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Harry says, slightly surprised by Louis’s reply. Has he really been that obvious around the older boy? 

“Hey, look, I’m sorry.” Louis apologizes quickly when he sees the younger boy starts to look upset. “I hope I didn’t lead you on or anything. Sorry.” 

Harry shakes his head. “No. No. You didn’t. It’s fine.” He says, trying his best not to cry in front of the older boy because of his stupidity. He starts to walk towards the door before he stops abruptly and turns around to face Louis again. “Although, actually you kinda did. I mean, if you knew that I..why would you do all that stuff?”

“We just went to the movies, Harry.” Louis points out. “It’s not like I tried to rip your shirt off.” He blurts out without even thinking and feeling like a jerk when Harry looks really hurt by his words and starts to walk away. “No, hey. Look, hey, you’re right, I flirted but I don’t know why, it’s just a natural reflex with me and..”

“And what?” 

“And I don’t know, I guess part of me liked having the company.” Louis admits truthfully. “Uh, I mean, look, I’m really messed up right now. I..My life is nothing like how I pictured it. You know, all my friends are off to college and Zayn, he’s my best friend, we’re not even talking right now, you know.” He adds. “You coming in the restaurant today, I mean, you were looking up to me and treating me like a movie star or something.”

“Oh, God.” Harry groans, feeling like he has been played by Louis all along just because he has a feeling towards the older boy. 

“It felt good.” Louis admits. “I haven’t felt like that in a long time.” He continues.

Harry snorts and shakes his head. “Maybe you don’t deserve to.” He spits before he turns around, opening his front door and quickly slamming the door close in front of Louis’s face.

**************

“It’s like every time we take two steps forward, we’re taking thirty steps back.” Yasir sighs as he looks at Nina.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not that bad. Maybe 29 steps tops.” Nina jokes, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. 

“Obviously, it doesn’t matter.” Yasir says, shaking his head. “He’s gonna do what he wants to do. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“There was never anything you could’ve done about it.” Nina says. “I mean, I’m sure that it was helluva speech, but you didn’t really think that you were gonna stop them from having sex, did you?” She points out.

“Why is that so crazy?” Yasir asks, looking at his neighbour. “I mean, when do we get to this point where kids just have sex and we’re supposed to be okay with it?”

“At least you know that Zayn is being responsible and you guys did cover that stuff last year.” Nina points out. 

Yasir shakes his head. “Please, last year I had my head in the sand.” He says. “I was so busy trying to be his friend, his buddy, I think I actually told him to go and have fun, if you can believe that.” 

“Well, it doesn’t sound like the worst advice.” Nina tells Yasir. 

“Trust me, it is.” Yasir says. “You know, you can only pull off that friend routine for so long before being a parent catches up with you and you start to think about the ten million things that could go wrong.” 

Nina shakes her head at Yasir. “But you can’t think about that stuff. I mean, you can, but it’ll just drive you nuts. If I worried about every possible concussion Sam might get when he hits the monkey bars, I’d go insane.”

“Well, monkey bars are very dangerous too, Nina. I could tell you stories.”

“Please don’t.” Nina warns. “But that’s the thing, Yasir, there comes a point where you just have to trust your kid and have faith in universe they’re gonna be okay.”

Yasir sighs heavily. “Yeah, well, I don’t have that kind of faith.”

“Well, I do.” Nina says. “And I keep a little extra for you, so don’t worry, okay?” She adds, smiling sweetly at the man in front of her. 

Yasir smiles in return. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Nina. I really don’t.” He admits truthfully. “Look at you in that outfit, I can’t believe I messed up your evening tonight.” 

“Ah, it’s okay. I can always wear it again.” Nina says. 

“Yeah, but you look so pretty.” Yasir says. “And I could’ve been your wingman tonight.” He adds. “I mean, I bet there are thousands of single guys at that place.” He says, obliviously to the faltering smile on Nina’s face. “Well, you know what, I’ll make it up to you. Take a rain check, okay?” 

“Sure. Rain check.” Nina replies quietly.

**************

“Hey, Lou.” Niall greets as soon as he enters the kitchen.

“Look, I already know, okay. So don’t bothering laying into me.” Louis grumbles. “You can’t make me feel any worse than I already do.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows at his brother. “Um, hello, guilty conscious.” He says confusingly. “I just came to tell you that I took the trash out so you don’t have to.” 

Louis tilts his head from staring at his cereal bowl and looks at Niall before he nods. “Oh. Thanks.” 

Niall shrugs, starting to open the fridge. He pulls out the juice box and pouring the juice into his glass before he turns to face Louis again. “So, what’d you do?” He asks, knowing full well Louis must have something in his mind if he has that certain expression on his face. 

“Nothing.” Louis replies shortly.

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Get into another fight with dad?” He asks and Louis shakes his head. “Mom? Zayn?” 

“Look, I’m not gonna talk to you about this, okay. So go.” Louis says, waving his hands, shooing Niall away.

“Okay. Fine. I don’t really have the head space to listen to what you have to say anyways.” Niall says. 

“Good.” Louis says simply. 

“But let me just give you two seconds of advice.” Niall says and keeps his tone firmly when Louis snorts at his words. “No, I’m serious and this is coming from a boy whose done therapy, yoga and antidepressants, so I know what I’m talking about.” Niall continues, staring at his brother. “You can’t keep shutting people out, Louis. I mean, I know you think you can, because you think that you’ll keep finding new doors to open, but the fact is they’re not there.” He says and pauses. “There actually are a limited number of doors and extremely limited number of great people who really really care so just work it out with whoever.” He continues. “If there’s a thousand people pissed at you, then just start with one. And start soon, because it’s really hard losing people. It’s even harder getting them back.” Niall says and for once, Louis thinks that his younger brother is right.

**************

“Harry, I brought some cupcakes for you try.” Nina calls out as she opens the slightly ajar door to call the boy. “Honey, is something wrong?” Nina asks worriedly when she finds Harry is crying as he sits at the edge of his bed.

Harry quickly wipes away his tears and shakes his head when he realizes Nina is stepping into his room. “No. No. I’m fine.” He says, definitely lying. 

“Something happened at school?” Nina asks, her tone is still laced with worry as she looks at the boy. 

Harry shakes his head again. “No, it’s nothing. It’s just stupid boy stuff.”

“Well, there’s nothing stupid about boy stuff.” Nina says gently, patting her hand on Harry’s arm comfortingly. 

Harry shrugs. “You know how they say if you put yourself out there, like really risk something, like your heart or something, that it’s supposed to work out?” He asks, looking at Nina. 

“Who says that?” 

“You know, movies, Shakespeare.” Harry replies simply. 

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah, well, it’s definitely not true.” Harry points out. “And personally I think that it is a very bad idea, putting yourself out there like unwise.” 

Nina nods understandingly. “So, I’m guessing that you put your heart on the line and you didn’t get the outcome you were hoping for?” 

Harry nods. “I just thought, you know, if I, if I got contact lenses and did my hair the right way that maybe I’d be that person that guys like back, but I’m not that person. I’m never gonna be that person.” He says. “And I never should’ve told him that I liked him.” 

“Him who?” Nina blurts out of curiosity but she quickly adds. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.” She says. “But honey, there’s nothing wrong with what you did.” 

“Yeah, there is, because he doesn’t like me back and now I just look like this enormous idiot.” Harry groans miserably. 

Nina shakes her head. “No, you don’t.” She says firmly. “Actually, you look incredibly brave to me.” She adds. “It takes guts to tell someone how you feel about them. And you know what, it almost doesn’t matter what they say back. Just the fact that you had the courage to say it means that you are the kind of person that gets the guy.” 

“No, it’s not.” Harry says quietly. 

“Not all the guys, the right guy, the one whose gonna appreciate how rare you are.” Nina continues. 

Harry sighs, sniffling but there are no more tears coming out. “It’s just, I liked liking him.” He tells the woman besides him. “It was fun to think about him. It was a fun dream to go to sleep to, you know. I guess false hope is better than no hope at all, right?”

“Yep, I say that we skip the cupcakes and go straight to ice cream.” Nina says. “What do you think?” She asks, raising her eyebrows at Harry, wanting to cheer up the upset boy. 

Harry nods, and starts to crack a smile, looking at Nina gratefully. “I like it.” 

Nina smiles too, feeling glad that the boy has stopped crying. Honestly, Nina hates to see if any of the boys is upset. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She says as she hands Harry the thing that she has been holding in her hand. “Somebody left this by the front door. It’s say ‘H’ so I assume it’s for you.” 

Harry takes the thing from Nina and can’t help but smile lovingly at the small bottles. “Ketchup children.” He whispers quietly. 

“What does that mean?” Nina asks confusingly. 

Harry shakes his head, starting to open the small card that is attached between the bottles. The big letters of “I’M SORRY” is written on the card and Harry knows the font too well. It’s Louis’s handwriting. “Consolation prize.” He whispers to himself.

**************

“You know, these crumpets are delicious.” Yasir says as his mouth is filled with the foods. “I’ve never actually had a crumpet.”

“Hear me out, Malik.” Bobby says from his seating on the opposite couch. “I’ve researched thoroughly several well-respected programs, accept new students at the semester break. Andover for one is an exceptional music program.”

“I don’t think that’s the answer.” Yasir tells Bobby. 

Bobby nods. “Okay, option two.” He continues. “We devise a system whereby at no time these two are left unsupervised. Did you know there is a Low jack device specifically designed for people?” 

Yasir nods. “People on parole, from prison.” He deadpans.

“But the technology exists. We decide how to use it.” Bobby says and when Yasir is looking at him like he has lost his mind, Bobby sighs. “It’s over, isn’t it?” He says in defeat. 

“Not necessarily.” Yasir replies. “They’re teenagers. There’s a very good chance they’ll screw this relationship up before they even get to the sex.” 

Bobby picks up his glass, clinking it with Yasir’s. “Here’s to praying.”

**************

“You know if we went to see another movie, we could spend another two hours avoiding a conversation.” Niall says when they step out from the movie theatre and starts walking silently until on the sidewalks Niall can’t take it anymore. He just can’t take being in an uncomfortable silence when he is with Zayn.

Zayn glances at his boyfriend besides him. “Yeah, I was thinking a triple feature.” He says. “It could be like the whole week never happened.” 

Niall chuckles and shakes his head. “No, I’m glad this week happened, Zayn.” He says. “I’m necessarily a fan of how it happened, just..”

Zayn stops walking abruptly before Niall can finish and he stares at his boyfriend’s face properly. Then he pulls out both of his hands from his pocket, fisting his knuckles and showing both hands to Niall. “Pick a hand.” 

“What?” Niall asks confusingly. 

“Pick a hand.” Zayn repeats as he gestures to his clenched fists. 

“That one.” Niall says, pointing at the left hand. 

Zayn unclenches his left fist, showing a little folded paper and Niall takes it from Zayn’s hand. “What is this? An apology letter, how very formal of you.” Niall says as he starts to unfold the paper and starts to read. “Your test results.” 

Zayn nods and smiles at his boyfriend. “I wanted to try to make them as romantic as possible.” He says. “You know, pretty street, starry night. Like at the moment.” He points out. 

Niall nods, smiling at Zayn too. “And you’re clean.” 

“Yeah, that wasn’t supposed to be a surprise.” Zayn says as he looks at Niall. “Look, Ni, I need you to know that if, you know, we do. I mean, it’s gonna be a big deal for me as well. It’s not something I’m gonna take lightly, because you’re not somebody that I take lightly.” 

Niall feels his heart warmth at Zayn’s words and he nods understandingly. “I know.” He says, leaning to kiss Zayn’s lips briefly before he starts to walk again. 

Zayn, however, remains on his spot, not following his boyfriend. “You, uh, you want to see what is in my other hand?” He asks, making Niall turns around to face him again. Zayn smiles fondly at the confused expression on Niall’s face and he starts to walk closer to his boyfriend who is already few steps ahead of him. 

Niall watches as Zayn starts to unclench his fist gasps in surprise when he sees the thing in Zayn’s hand. “Oh my god.” He mutters, as he looks at the thing. It is a necklace, the beautiful ‘Lucky Irish Three-Leaf Clover Shamrock’ necklace nonetheless. Zayn pulls Niall’s hand and gives the necklace for Niall to hold. 

Zayn smiles fondly as he stares at Niall’s reaction, who is still staring at the necklace disbelievingly. “I was, uh, I was actually, uh, looking to try and find you a bracelet but then I saw this and it just reminded me of you.” He tells his boyfriend. “And if you can see closely, there is a circle engraved in the middle of the clover and I don’t know. I just feel like the circle, it’s like infinite, it’s kinda how I feel about us, so…”

“I’m shocked.” Niall says sincerely. Though the necklace is not a fancy one, but the way Zayn talks about the meaning of the pendant, making it looks more beautiful to Niall and of course full of sentimental value. 

Zayn nods and smiles before he takes the necklace from Niall’s hand. “Here. Allow me.” He says as he turns Niall’s body to face the store’s window beside them. Then he starts to put the necklace on Niall. 

Niall stares at their reflections on the window and smiles. Zayn is smiling too as he finally clasps the hook of the necklace. “It’s beautiful.” Niall whispers softly, his finger is tracing on the pendant, still can’t believe that Zayn has given him the precious gift. Once Zayn finishes, Niall turns around, saying “thank you” before he pull his boyfriend into a passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to know what you guys think about this chapter! xx :D


	8. Young, but I'm not that bold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update. Busy with workssss. And didn't have motivation to write (gasps!). I'm so afraid that I'm losing interest in this story (hopefully not). 
> 
> But anyway, enjoy! 
> 
> p/s: Oh and if I can finish the next chapter by tonight I might post that by tomorrow, but no promise though. 
> 
> p/s/s: Title is taken from **[One Republic - Counting Stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_nvWreIhg)**

“Louis Horan is the best employee of the Firehouse Grill.” Louis singsongs to the song that is currently blasting at the restaurant. “I am still. It’s a done deal.” He continues, moving his body along with the music. 

“Shakin’ it with the shakers?” A girl asks, stopping Louis abruptly from his movement and he turns around to look at the girl and smiles. “You know it.” He says to the girl. “Don’t start getting sweet with me, I know you’re out for blood.” He adds bluntly, squinting his eyes at the girl. 

The girl chuckles and grins at Louis. “How’s that?” She asks. 

“Beating me in tips.” Louis replies. “You know I had the record until yesterday.” 

“That doesn’t count.” The girl says and rolls her eyes. “Some guy left me a 20 on a coffee and a pancake.”

Louis laughs and shakes his head at the girl with the curly-brunette haired and a deep dimples on both cheeks. Not that Louis is checking her out, she just reminds him of someone that he knows. “You’re still top dog and I bow to you.” He says, bowing slightly. “Although, really though, it’s not fair. You know, I mean, you just flash those dimples at somebody, they’ll leave you their whole wallet.” He points out, knowing full well that people always fall for dimples, including him. 

The girl punches Louis’s arm playfully. “Shut up.” 

Louis shakes his head. “I’m serious.” He says. “Actually, I bet that probably gets old, huh?” 

“What?” The girl asks, raising her eyebrows at Louis. 

“Constantly getting hit on.” Louis deadpans. 

“I don’t get hit on.” The girl says adamantly. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on. You don’t have these late night dumb drunks coming in here trying to leave you their number?” He asks curiously. 

The girl shakes her head. “I’m only on lunch, that’s why I barely ever get to see you.” She points out. 

Louis smirks knowingly as he looks at the girl. “That’s too bad.” 

“Oh, well, maybe we can hang out during our break sometime.” The girls says suggestively, smiling flirtatiously as she looks at Louis. 

Louis raises his eyebrows, knowing full well what exactly the meaning of that smile on the girl’s face. “So, when’s your next break?” He asks, leaning closer to the girl. 

The girl puts her finger on Louis chest, trailing it downwards slowly, looking at Louis’s eyes. “Well, actually, I’m on break now.” 

And that’s all it takes before the rest is history.

**************

“Hey, what’s for dinner?” Louis asks as soon as he steps into the kitchen and spots his parents. 

“Claimjumper’s Prime Rib with Madiera Sauce.” Bobby replies instead of Maura. “Your mother and I are dining out for a change.” He adds, grabbing for his coat at the coat hanger. 

“I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t know you’d be here.” Maura says as she looks at Louis. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” She asks curiously. 

“Uh, nah, I quit.” Louis replies shortly. 

Bobby stops fiddling with his buttons before he looks up to see his eldest son and raises his eyebrows. “What? When did this happen?” He asks curiously. 

Louis shrugs. “Since, uh, last night. No big deal though.” He says, not really looking at his father. “Mikey gave me bad section again, you know, uh, I was just over it. Gave him my apron. Came home.” 

“I thought you liked that job.” Bobby points out. 

“Not really.” Louis replies. 

Maura looks at her eldest son in confusion. “But you were Employee of the Month?” 

Louis shrugs again, grabbing an apple on the table and starts to bite it. “Yeah, but that was like a month ago, ma.” He replies to his mother. 

“What are you gonna do now? Have you thought about that?” Maura asks. 

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t know. Find a real job, I guess.” He says. “I mean, you guys were always saying, you know, I need to find that avenue for my future. I really think it’s time to, you know, move on, get serious about what I want to do in my life.” He tells his parent. 

Bobby hums in response as he looks at his wife who is standing beside him. “Well, uh, they hired a new director in Parks and Recreation today to run the fall programs, I could get Megan to pull the county job list for tomorrow.” Maura says, looking at her husband. 

Bobby nods before he turns to look at Louis again. “I could make a few phone calls. See if there’s any goodwill left with the Finance Committee of the Lodge.” 

“Yeah, that all sounds very cool.” Louis says distractedly. 

“Who is that mentioned the internship at the Hubbles the other night? Was that Phil?” Bobby asks, trying to recall as he starts to grab his car keys. 

“Oh, no, June Simpson.” Maura replies. 

Bobby nods. “Right. Right, that sounded promising.” 

Maura nods too, agreeing with her husband. “Oh, he’d be perfect for that.” 

“Well, this is certainly auspicious.” Bobby says, looking at his eldest son. “You know what, Louis, you should come out to dinner with us tonight.” He suggests. “Discuss our options. Formulate a plan of attack.” 

Louis shakes his head. “No, I got to take a shower. So it’ll take me awhile.” He refuses. “I’m sure you guys are probably already starving.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “You sure? You know how you love that shrimp cocktail.” 

“No. You guys go. Have a little alone time. I’ll make due.” Louis says, shaking his head. 

Maura smiles and nods. “Well, we are very proud of you.” She says before she walks closer to Louis and give his eldest son a tight hug. 

“Not for quitting.” Bobby points out. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Louis replies as he pulls away from his mother’s hug. 

“But for realizing that potential in yourself that we have always known was there.” Bobby continues. “The way you’ve handled his says a lot about yourself.” 

Louis nods. “Thanks, dad.”

**************

Zayn groans out loud before he shakes his head frustratingly. “This is bad.” He says before he turns his chair around to see Niall on the couch, cocooning under the blanket, reading silently. 

Niall raises his eyebrows when he sees Zayn is looking at him. “I’m sorry I thought I was supposed to ignore you when you make frustrated noises.” He points out. 

Zayn turns his chair around again to look at the note sheet on his piano. “I think I made a mistake.” He says, groaning loudly. 

“God forbid.” Niall deadpans, still not moving from his spot on the couch. “Where’s my paddle?” 

“I mean, it’s just this piece. It’s..I don’t know..it’s..it’s wrong.” Zayn says with frustration. 

Niall raises his eyebrows as he hears the frustration in Zayn’s voice. “Will’s piece?” He asks before he shifts to sit instead of laying down on the couch. “I thought you said it was great.” He points out. 

Zayn nods. “It is. It was.” He says. “I’ve had some time with it now and parts of it are genius, beyond genius, but then other parts of it are just..”

“Bad?” Niall prompts, putting his book down and starts to look at Zayn with his full attention now. 

Zayn shrugs as he looks at Niall. “I don’t know. I mean, the intro is tired and lounge-y.” He says. “It’s great the way he re-voices the chord structure here but the account afterward is a mess.”

Niall puts his hand under his chin and shakes his head, staring at Zayn fondly. “I didn’t really get any of that, but it was kind of hot.” He says, grinning at Zayn. 

Zayn, apparently is still wrapping in his frustration with the piece, just let Niall’s comment slide. “Everybody else is gonna be playing Bartok, Chopin and Schubert, those guys don’t actually have weak spots, this does.” 

“Then you can’t use it for your tape.” Niall points out. He knows how important the tape is for Zayn to get his chance to be called by Juilliard. 

“I already told Will I would.” Zayn says. 

Niall nods understandingly. “Look, what I know about jazz consists of entirely of what you try to tell me before my eyes start rolling back or start to fall asleep.” He says as he starts to stand up and move closer to Zayn’s spot near the piano. “Most of it sounds like a lot mistakes to me, but you’ve been training for this all year. It’s too important to risk something you’re not sure of.” 

Zayn sighs. “But it was a big deal for him to even show it to me.” He says as he stares at the sheet. “Maybe, if I switch progression here and I come back to the tonic..” 

“See, eyes rolling.” Niall teases as he rolls his eyes fondly at Zayn. 

Zayn waves him off, before he continues. “Uh, just listen. Just listen.” He says. “Do you think he’d mind if I fudged with it a little bit?” He asks as he tilts his head to the right to look at Niall, asking for opinion. “I mean, most of it is so good, it wouldn’t take very much to just make sort of the soft spots work.” 

Niall’s eyes light up at that and he smiles widely at his boyfriend. “Are you kidding me? It’d be like your collaborating with him.” He says enthusiastically. “Old guys love that stuff. Master-student, coming of age-becoming his equal.” He points out. “My dad cries every time I beat him at tennis.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows at Niall. “Really?” 

“No.” Niall replies. “But how flattered is he, seriously, that you’re even using his piece to get into Juilliard?” He asks and when Zayn remains silent, Niall knows the answer. “You’re going to start working on this right now, aren’t you?” He asks fondly as Zayn starts to fiddle with his sheet again. “Ah well, you’re useless to me when you’re thinking piano anyways.” He continues before he leans to kiss Zayn briefly. “Work hard, genius.” He says once they pull away and starts to put on his jacket, making his way out. Zayn smiles gratefully at Niall for his understanding before his boyfriend leaves the mini studio and leaves him alone to work on his piano thing.

**************

“Hello.” Maura greets her husband excitedly as she enters the kitchen. Louis is behind her with bags of groceries that they both just went to shop together. 

Louis smiles at his father. “Say check this out, mom thinks she might be able to, uh, score me an interview with her boy at work.” He tells his father. 

Maura nods. “I ran into Judge Brady at lunch. He said the Mize’s daughter has just gone on, uh, maternity leave over at the Clerk’s office and they might be looking for someone so I called Brooks Randolph and told him about Louis and he was open to the idea.” She tells her husband. 

“Yeah, apparently, they like handle all the trials for the whole county.” Louis says. 

“Oh, it’s just the filing and the paperwork.” Maura assures her eldest son. “Now, it’s entry level, but, uh, it might spark an interest in pre-law.” 

Bobby, who is just sitting silently on the dining table, finally starts to speak after hearing both of his wife and son’s words. “Well, I assume you’ll need a resume.” He starts. “I’m curious what exactly will you be listing for employment history.”

Louis, who is just starting to chew on the cookies, raising his eyebrows confusingly at his father. “Huh?”

“When they call the restaurant to check your references?” Bobby says. “You think they’ll have good things to say about you?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” 

Bobby stands up from the chair and walks closer to the kitchen’s tool, his eyes never leaving his eldest son. “Even if they talk to your old boss, Mr. Mikey, is it?” 

“Uh, huh.” Louis responses shortly, knowing that something is wrong as he hears his father’s tone. 

Bobby pulls out a small piece of paper from his pocket and shows it to Louis. “I had a visitor today. She asked me to give you this.” He says as he passes the paper to Louis. 

Louis takes the paper and shakes his head. “She, uh, she who?” 

“Oh, I didn’t catch her name, but I do recall smacking gum and strong Christian values.” Bobby says to Louis before he glances at his wife. “Your son didn’t quit, Maura, he was fired.” 

Maura gasps in surprise. “What?”

“Would you like to tell your mother why?” Bobby asks his eldest son. 

Louis sighs heavily, knowing that he is now busted by his parents. “I messed up.” He admits finally. 

Bobby nods. “Now, indulge me, Louis, that whole story that you told us last night. Did you spend all night making that up or did that just come out of you spontaneously because honestly, I can’t decide which is worse.” 

“Listen, I was gonna tell you.” 

“Oh, don’t you dare. Don’t you dare.” Bobby warns firmly. “I was watching the whole thing. You were fully prepared to let your mother go out on a limb for you without ever telling us the truth or did you really not think that they’d call your former employer?” 

Louis shakes his head. “You know, I wasn’t gonna put them down.” 

“Oh, well, what were you gonna put down? Lifeguard at the kiddie pool Freshman year? What?” Bobby deadpans. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Exactly. You know nothing.” Bobby points out. “You hand us these ridiculous rent checks and you think that makes you an adult? You have no concept of how the real world works.” 

“Calm down, Bobby. It’s bad enough, he got fired.” Maura pipes in, trying to avoid the fight between his husband and his eldest son. 

Bobby shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest angrily. “No. No, honey, it is not that he got fired. It’s that he lied about it to us.” He says. “He looked at us straight in the eyes and told us that he quit, that he was really gonna make something of himself and he blindly accepted our help.” He continues. “What if I hadn’t found out? How would you’ve liked to have gotten that phone call from Brooks Randolph?”

“Look, I panicked, okay?” Louis says, trying to explain his reason for lying to his parents the night before.

“No, no. Not good enough.” Bobby says, shaking his head. “You’re gonna have to do better than that this time.” He adds while looking at his son. “Let me tell you something, Louis, the only way to live with honour in this world is to actually be what we pretend to be. You don’t get second chances, can you understand that? Is this any of this sinking in yet?”

**************

Niall bites his nails guiltily and shakes his head. “This is all my fault.” He says after he listens to Zayn’s story about how his private piano teacher was mad at him for changing the structure of the piece and refuses to be his teacher anymore. 

Zayn shakes his head as he looks at Niall. “It’s not your fault.”

“I have no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to pianists.” Niall says as he looks at Zayn from his spot on the floor, leaning against his bed while Zayn is sitting at the study table. “I mean, apparently, I thought I did, but I don’t.” He adds. “I thought it was going to be this whole romantic man-love thing. Teacher-student, mentor-mentee, whatever.” He adds apologetically. 

Zayn nods understandingly. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He assures. 

Niall sighs. “You can still find another teacher though, right? Maybe. They might even be as good as Will.” He says. “Maybe not as good.” 

Zayn leans against the study table, looking down at Niall’s spot and shrugs. “I could.” He says. “It’s not about that. I liked playing with him.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Really? Is it the constant barrage of insults?” He asks confusingly. He always listens on Zayn’s story about how the teacher always insulting him and to be honest, Niall is quite confused about the reason why Zayn keeps sticking for the same teacher. 

Zayn lets out a slight chuckle at Niall’s comment. “No, that actually I can do without.” He admits. “It’s like he exists in this place in his head where there’s music and nothing else. He talks about music like, it’s this girl he’s been trying to seduce his entire life, but it’s not metaphor to him, it’s real I mean, he actually talks to her.” He explains to his boyfriend. 

“Yeah, that’s weird.” Niall points out. 

Zayn nods. “Uh, it’s beyond weird. It’s insane.” He says. “That’s why he didn’t care when he lost his hearing.” He adds before he moves to sit beside Niall on the floor. “As long as he could still talk to her in his head, it was like he could still see it.” 

Niall leans his head on Zayn’s shoulder, listening to his boyfriend’s words. “Like Beethoven.” He says. 

Zayn nods and kisses the top of Niall’s head gently. “He doesn’t care about performing. He doesn’t care about school. He doesn’t even care about showing people what he’s doing.” He says. “It’s like those monks who do those sand paintings and then open the door for the wind.” He adds. “Music is like this pure thing that exists for its own sake. Just to make something perfect for no other reason other than to show the world can hold it.” He continues, tilting his head down to his right to look at Niall’s face. “I used to feel that way about music. But now…” Zayn trails off before he starts to shift his body, lying down and rest his head on Niall’s lap. “Now, now, it’s just..”

“Like a job.” Niall finishes for Zayn, staring down at Zayn as he plays with his boyfriend’s hair softly. 

Zayn stares at Niall and nods. “Yeah. You know when I play with him, it’s the only time it’s not about a career or school. I don’t have to worry about the future or yesterday.” He says. “It’s just now. Now and the piano. When I play with Will, it’s the only time I can remember why I’m doing any of this.” He says and sighs. “Now I don’t even have that.”

**************

“Oh, well, thank you so much, Brooks.” Maura says over the phone. “Yes, I will. Yeah, and my best to Chloe and the girls. Bye now.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows as he enters the living room only to hear the last part of the phone call. “Who was that?” 

“Brooks Randolph at the Clerks office.” Maura replies to her husband. “There was an opening in his department. I’ve asked him if he could take one more interview.” 

“I thought we discussed this.” Bobby points out as he looks at his wife. “You heard what he did, Maura. The boy was fired.” 

Maura nods. “I explained to them that Louis’s last job was as a waiter and that references were irrelevant to his office skills. They agreed.” 

“Well, of course, they did, because you’re their boss.” Bobby deadpans. “You could’ve told them that he was a marmoset, they would have found a desk for him.” He adds. “You didn’t get him the interview, Madame Mayor, you got him the job.” 

“Let’s hope so.” Maura says.

“This isn’t Washington.” Bobby points out. “Our local governance is supposed to have some standards here.”

“It does.” Maura says firmly. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Well, evidently not. They boy lied to us, Maura.” He points out. “Gladly. Well. More than once. You’re exercising nepotism here; you should be unleashing the furies.” 

Maura sighs. “Oh, you’re overreacting.” She says. 

“You know, we’ve been to this place before, Maura.” Bobby says. “Last year, I was all too willing to let my sympathies for Niall allow me to excuse the inexcusable and you were there to tell me that enough was enough and Maura, you were right to say so.” 

Maura shakes her head. “Louis is not out of control. It’s hardly the same thing.” 

“No, no, this is worse, because Louis is perfectly aware of his choices.” Bobby points out. “Perhaps I expected more from him than you do.” He says. “He’s losing his ability to see the difference between right and wrong any more. He’s mistaking charm for accomplishment.” 

“So he needs our help and he deserves it.” Maura says firmly. 

“What, as a reward for deception?” 

“For being our son.” Maura says. “Louis is at a point where his life could turn one direction or another. I am not going to let him make the wrong decision on his own.”

Bobby sighs. “He’s dragging you down to his level.” He says. “Now, I played along. You know, I clapped when he took that asinine job because you asked me to. I smiled when he took time off from his studies to find some special purpose, well no more.” He adds. “Consider carefully if you choose to go ahead with this, because if you do, you do so without my consent, without my approval and without my respect, Maura. The choice is yours.” He finishes before he turns around and leaves the living room, and Maura.

**************

“Surprise.” 

Zayn turns his head sharply as he hears the familiar voice. “Seriously.” He says as he looks at his piano teacher (or is it ex-piano teacher?), Will who is now standing inside his garage studio. 

“So, this is where the magic happens?” Will asks, glancing around the small room before he looks at Zayn. 

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it that.” Zayn says humbly. 

Will nods. “Me neither.” He says. “I thought I’d stop by and see this computer set up you’ve been talking about.” He adds. 

“Uh, it’s right here.” Zayn says as he points out at the set up at the corner of the room. “Uh, it’s midi so all I have to do is play here and it comes up on the screen.” He explains to the older man. “It’s pretty cool.” He adds. “All I have to do is press print.” 

Will steps closer to the equipment and nods. “It changes everything, doesn’t it?” He asks. “You got Bella in there?” He asks more, referring to the name of the piece that he had given to Zayn to play for his tape. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah.” 

“With your changes?” Will asks. 

“Yeah.” Zayn nods again. 

The older man smiles and nods. “Let’s hear it.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows disbelievingly. “Really?” 

“Oh, press the issue. See how that works for you.” Will says. 

Then, Zayn starts to play for a couple of seconds before Will starts to turn the volume down. “Play.” He says as he looks at Zayn. 

“Well, I can’t hear anything with the volume down.” Zayn points out. 

“You don’t have to.” Will says. “Play. See it.” He says firmly and Zayn, knowing that he can’t argue with that tone, starts to play. 

“Left up.” Will says, looking at Zayn’s movement on the piano keys. It takes a few tries before Zayn starts to feel it and the old man smiles at him. “That’s it. That’s it.” 

“How’d you come up with that?” Will asks as he looks at the note on the screen. 

Zayn shrugs. “I just felt it. I mean, it didn’t seem like the right place for a minor.” He explains. 

Will smiles proudly at Zayn. “Is it all better now?” He asks. 

Zayn smiles. “I don’t know, I couldn’t hear it.” He admits. 

“But you can see it.” Will points out. 

“Yeah, I think it’s better.” Zayn finally says and nods. 

“Then you gotta do what you gotta do.” 

“I gotta do something else too, Will. I gotta find a new teacher.” Zayn says. 

Will grins and nods. “It’s about time you said so.” He says before he pulls out a card from his pocket and passes it to the boy. 

“Allan Zaneman?” Zayn says, reading the name on the card. 

“You start with him tomorrow.” Will says. “Hard core classical and bitch mean. He’ll round you out where I let you slide. He may even help you with that Lizst you got your eye on.” He adds. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, about the changes. I mean springing that on you was probably not my best move.” He says apologetically. 

Will shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t. Truth is, I wouldn’t have minded if you made it worse.” 

“Anyway, I’m sorry.” Zayn apologizes again. 

“Don’t be. I’m all out of tricks to show you.” Will says. 

Zayn shakes his head. “I seriously doubt that.” 

Will raises his eyebrows at the boy. “You gonna argue with everything I say?” He asks amusingly. 

“We can still play together some times right?” Zayn asks. “I mean, I can still come over.” 

“You’re on the path. You got a long walk ahead of you.” Will says. “You can’t let things like sentiment get in the way.” He adds. “Bella Rae was always a going away present.” 

“I don’t think that I’m going anywhere.” Zayn says. 

Will smiles and shakes his head. “Trust me, I’ve seen your future and it ain’t here.” He says. “Now shut up and play me out, genius.” 

Zayn shakes his head and grins at the old man. “By the way, how did you find me? I don’t remember giving you my address or telling you about this mini studio.” 

Will smiles and looks at Zayn. “Let’s just say you’ve got an awesome boyfriend who loves you so much that he managed to convince me to come here.” 

Zayn blushes furiously and shakes his head disbelievingly. He always thought that Niall didn’t really listen to his rant about Will but apparently he was wrong. He knows how intimidating Will looks like to Niall because that was the impression that Zayn was giving his boyfriend through his stories, yet Niall still went to talk to the man for Zayn’s sake. And at that moment, there’s nothing but love and warmth in his heart towards his boyfriend and he makes a mental note to thanks his boyfriend later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Next chapter preview:**
> 
>  
> 
> Zayn groans mentally as he turns to look at the screen again. _”This is going badly.”_
> 
>  _”This is so bad.”_ Niall thinks as he stares at the screen too. 
> 
> Zayn glances slightly to his left to look at his boyfriend. _”He’s actually watching the movie.”_
> 
> Niall glances at Zayn, who already turns his head. _”He’s clearly into the movie.”_
> 
> Both of them sigh inwardly at the same time, not knowing that they are thinking about the same thing. _”We’re never gonna have sex.”_


	9. Make Love to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeay, I finished this chapter as promised in Chapter 8 (which I posted yesterday in case someone missed it)! Enjoy! xx 
> 
> Title taken from **[Beyonce - 1+1](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaasJ44O5lI)**
> 
> p/s: Advance apologies for the short making love thing cause I don't know how to write that kind of scene. *grinning sheepishly.*

Zayn puts his hand of Niall’s neck and pulling him closer as they are in the middle of kissing in the car. _“My foot is falling asleep. I wonder if I just move it slightly.”_ Niall says inside his head between the kisses. He shifts his body slightly and it ends up with him pulling away from the kisses. 

“Sorry.” Zayn says when Niall pulls away. “You alright?” He asks, looking at his boyfriend. 

“Yeah. No, I’m good. I’m good.” Niall replies quickly. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows in concern. “You sure?” He asks and Niall just nods and hums in response. “Okay.” He says before he pulls Niall’s face closer again. 

_”Urgh, I shouldn’t have moved it.”_ Niall groans in his mind as he bends awkwardly to kiss Zayn. 

Meanwhile, Zayn is trying to pull Niall’s face closer to him. _”Go to the ear. The ear. Maybe if I just tilt my head.”_ Zayn tells himself mentally. 

Niall pulls away suddenly when he feels Zayn’s lips near his ear and stares at other boy. “Are you okay?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at his boyfriend. 

Zayn can feel his cheeks flustered and he shakes his head. “Yeah, no, I had an itch.” He says and laughs nervously. 

Both of them stare at each other awkwardly for a moment before Niall breaks the silence. “You want popcorn?” He asks, not knowing what else to say and that was the first thing that came out from his mind. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, you want me to get it?” Zayn asks, looking at Niall. 

Niall shakes his head. “No. No. That’s okay. I’ll get it. I need some air anyways.” 

_”He needs air. What does that mean?”_ Zayn wonders. 

Niall mentally slaps himself as he starts to put on his jacket. _”Why did I say that?”_ He groans internally before he gets out of the car. 

“Damn it.” Zayn curses once Niall is out of the car. What the hell is happening? He is so confused at the moment. 

It doesn’t take long before Niall is back into the car again and Zayn turns his head from the big screen in front of them and looks at his boyfriend instead. “The giant centipede thing just ate the doctor guy.” He says, explaining the scene that Niall had missed when he went to get the popcorn. “It was pretty sweet.” 

“I think Jerry and Brian are having sex in his parents’ car.” Niall blurts out, shuddering slightly at the images of his classmates that he had accidentally caught when he went to knock on their car’s window earlier on his way back after buying the popcorn. 

“What? Where? Here?” Zayn asks. 

Niall nods as he looks at Zayn. “Yeah, they’re like two cars down.” He tells Zayn. 

“Wow. Really.” 

Niall shrugs. “I don’t know if they’re having actual sex, but..” He says and pauses, not knowing what else to say. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, I mean I doubt it’s actual sex. It’s..” He trails off. 

“Yeah, me too.” Niall pipes in. 

“They’re probably just..” Zayn continues awkwardly. 

Niall nods in response. “Yeah. Yeah.” He replies, feeling like this is the most awkward moment that they have ever been and he doesn’t even know why. 

_”They’re definitely having sex.”_ Zayn thinks. He won’t say it out loud to Niall though. 

_”They are so having sex.”_ Niall thinks from the passenger seat. _”I shouldn’t have told him now he’s gonna think I want to.”_ He scolds himself. 

_”Wait, was that like a sign?”_ Zayn asks himself mentally in confusion. 

_”Even though I’m sure he knows I’d never let our first time be in a car in a completely public place.”_ Niall thinks. 

Zayn glances at Niall beside him. _”I bet that was a sign. Did I just miss the cue? I think I just missed the cue.”_ Zayn thinks, mentally slaps himself for his stupidity. 

_”I guess this is probably the place to do it.”_ Niall continues with his inner monologue. _”I mean, people are obviously doing it here.”_

Zayn turns his head slightly to look at Niall. _”If he looks at me, it’s the cue.”_

 _”How would we even..?”_ Niall says before he turns his head slightly to glance at his boyfriend. 

Zayn quickly turns his head away. _”Okay, never mind. That wasn’t the cue.”_

Niall stares at Zayn’s face silently from his seat. _”He’s blocking his lips. That means he doesn’t want me to kiss him. God, body language is so telling.”_

Zayn is trying his best to stare at the screen in front of them instead of thinking too much about the sexual tension around them. _”That girl looks so much like Jennifer Lopez. I wonder if they’re related.”_ He thinks before he frowns slightly. _”Why am I thinking about Jennifer Lopez?”_ He asks himself confusingly before he reaches for the cup on the dashboard. “Do you want..?” He asks Niall as he hands the cup. 

Niall smiles and nods. “Sure.” He replies simply. Still in the awkward situation, it seems. 

Zayn groans mentally as he turns to look at the screen again. _”This is going badly.”_

 _”This is so bad.”_ Niall thinks as he stares at the screen too. 

Zayn glances slightly to his left to look at his boyfriend again. _”He’s actually watching the movie.”_

Niall glances at Zayn, who already turns his head. _”He’s clearly into the movie.”_

Both of them sigh inwardly at the same time, not knowing that they are thinking about the same thing at the moment. _”We’re never gonna have sex.”_

**************

“Oh, this is where Niall would make his famous pillow fortress.” Bobby explains as he points at the picture in the album to Harry. “See, he would employ every single pillow in the house. Snatch it out from under your sleeping head if need be. You remember that, Nialler?”

Niall rolls his eyes from where he is busy doing the dishes at the sink and shakes his head. “Not really.” 

“There’s a small elk cove, almost like an attic.” Bobby continues to explain to Harry. 

“It’s like a little kid’s tree house, but inside.” Harry says in amusement as he flips through the pages in the photo album. 

Bobby nods and smiles. “One of the chief reasons we bought this cabin the first place.” He tells the boy. “Oh, perhaps we should hold off on the sale, Maura.” He adds as he turns his head to look at his wife at the other end of the kitchen. “We might want to venture back someday.” 

“We haven’t set foot in that cabin since 8 years ago, Bobby.” Maura points out. “It’s time to let another family create some memories there.” 

“I say sell it.” Niall pipes in. 

Harry grins and continues flipping over the album picture. He likes being at the Horan’s. They always treat him like an extended family and secretly he feels happy when both Bobby and Maura treats him like their another son. “Is that Louis wearing Muppet slippers?” Harry asks as his eyes catch on one of the pictures in the album. 

Bobby nods and smiles. “”Ah, yes, Louis was oddly bewitched by Miss Piggy.” He says and Harry laughs out loud. “And Niall simply would not remove his Fozzie bears for all the tea in China.” 

Niall finishes with the dishes washing and turns around to face his parents and Harry before he shakes his head. “Okay, that’s it. Harry, can you please meet me upstairs. We need to talk.” Niall says seriously, before he starts to retreat out from the kitchen. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows as Niall already making his way to the stairs. “Well, we were all gonna watch the movie.” 

“Yeah, what about the movie?” Harry asks, glancing between Niall and Bobby. 

“Uh, they can start it without us. It’s really important.” Niall says desperately and that’s all it takes for Harry to nod and follow the older boy to his room.

**************

“Is everything okay?” Harry asks as he trails behind Niall to his bedroom.

“No, it’s fine. It’s just, I needed to get out of there.” Niall replies, his tone sounds irritated as he strides towards his bed and plops down on it. “God, he’s so endless sometimes. It’s like he thinks that if he talks about me being eight that I might miraculously become eight. It gets annoying.” He whines loudly. 

Harry smiles at Niall and shakes his head. “He’s just being nostalgic.” He points out as he takes a seat at the edge of Niall’s bed. “So, how was last night? Did you and Zayn have a good time at the drive-in?” 

“Oh, it was whatever.” Niall replies dismissively. 

Harry raises his eyebrows, noticing the bitterness in Niall’s tone. “How was the movie?” 

Niall shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

“Oh, right. You guys were probably..”

“No, not even.” Niall cuts Harry off before he can finish his sentence. “We played the How Long Can We Kiss Before It Gets So Unbearably Boring That I’d Actually Rather Watch Someone Get Eaten by A Giant Centipede?” 

Harry scrunches his nose. “Is that a game?” 

Niall sighs heavily. “No, Harry. It’s my life.” 

“Well, does that mean you don’t like kissing Zayn anymore?” Harry asks, raising his eyebrows at Niall. 

“No, it just means that we’ve stagnated at the kissing stage for so long.” Niall groans miserably. “Neither of us are taking it to the next level or you know, _the_ level.”

“You want to go to _the_ level.” Harry points out. 

Niall sighs again, this time he curls into himself, staring at Harry from his position. “I don’t know.” He says. “Wait, is it okay if we talk about this? I mean, he’s your brother and all….” Niall trails off. 

Harry smiles at Niall and shrugs. “It’s okay. I’m an open minded.” He says sincerely. “Plus, it’s not like you’re telling me the details of his dick or something.” He jokes. 

Niall laughs slightly at that comment and shakes his head. “Thanks, Harry. You’re a great friend.” He says. 

“It’s okay. You’re great friend too.” Harry says. “So, continue. I’m all ears.” He urges. 

Niall nods before he speaks again. “Well, anyway, what I meant was, we talked about it over a month ago and it seems like we were both ready but nothing’s happened since then. It’s like we had this big conversation and then that’s it. Hasn’t made any attempt since.” 

Harry plops down besides Niall and shrugs. “Well, maybe he’s just trying to show you how much he respects you.” 

“That’s horrifying.” Niall points out. “I just, with this whole thing was over.” He says. “I swear the anxiety about when it’s gonna happen is taking up way too much brain space.” 

“Yeah, definitely.” Harry nods and agrees. 

Niall looks at Harry and snorts. “You are hating this conversation.” He points out. 

“No, I’m not.” Harry argues back. 

Niall chuckles slightly and shakes his head. “You know what, I just need to talk to Zayn. I need to find some casual way to bring it up so that it doesn’t seem like we’re having another Treaty of Versailles and just go from there.” 

Harry smiles and nods. “Sounds good to me.” He says. “Your dad’s probably waiting on us to start the movies so..” He adds before he starts to stand up from Niall’s bed. 

Niall nods. “Yeah, I can be casual.” He mutters to himself, determine to talk to Zayn about this matter later on.

**************

“So, why haven’t you tried to have sex with me yet?” Niall blurts out, apparently not so casually, at the lunch table the day after as he looks at Zayn.

Zayn almost chokes on his potato before he tilts his head up to look at Niall. “Wh..? What do you mean why haven’t I tried?” He asks confusingly. 

“Well, have you?” Niall asks bluntly. 

“No, I mean I haven’t done everything I could do but it’s not like you’ve given me any indication that that’s what you wanted me to do.” Zayn points out as he looks at Niall. 

“How am I supposed to indicate that?” Niall asks, raising his eyebrows at Zayn. 

Zayn shrugs. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe not flinching every time my hand grazes your belt buckle.” He deadpans. 

“I don’t flinch.” Niall says simply. 

“Uh, yeah, you do.” Zayn points out. 

Niall shakes his head. “No, I don’t.” He replies defensively. 

“Yeah, you do.” Zayn repeats again. “Do you want me to show you right now cause it’s actually pretty funny.” He says as he leans closer to Niall. 

Niall rolls his eyes. “Okay, so maybe I flinch, it doesn’t matter, it’s just a reflex.” He says stubbornly. “The next time it happens, just press on.” 

Zayn smiles amusingly as he looks at his boyfriend. “Okay.” 

“Okay.” Niall says and when they both fall into an awkward silence again, Niall sighs. “There’s something else, isn’t there?” He blurts out. 

“No, there’s nothing.” Zayn denies, shaking his head. 

“You don’t want to?” Niall presses on, looking at his boyfriend for answer. It’s not like that thought never crossed his mind. 

“Are you kidding me?” Zayn asks disbelievingly. “Yes, I want to. Of course, I’d…It just..” 

“It just what?” Niall presses as he looks at Zayn sharply. 

Zayn shakes his head. “Can you do not do that for two seconds?” He tells Niall. “I mean, it’s your first time and our first time together and I just..you know, it seems like it deserves a trip to Paris or something. Obviously, Paris is a little pricey this time of year.” He admits truthfully. 

Niall feels his heart starts to warmth and he shakes his head fondly at his boyfriend. “Zayn?” 

“I just..I just want it to be, you know, memorable and special.” Zayn says sincerely. 

“And perfect. Yeah, I know.” Niall pipes in. “And you know what that is? That’s like an aneurism waiting to happen.” He deadpans. “I mean, seriously, Zayn, the amount of pressure that you are putting on yourself and me for that matter, it’s like impossible and it’s killing our momentum so we should just remove it entirely.” He continues. “Okay? I don’t need candles. I don’t need rose petals. I don’t need Paris. It doesn’t have to be special, it just has to be you.” He finishes sincerely. He smiles at Zayn before he continues. “I say we do it in the car.” 

Zayn chokes on his breathe and shakes his head disbelievingly. “What? I don’t..no..no.” 

Niall grins. “Eh, never mind. It’s too cheesy.” He says before he takes a bite of his lunch. And then he pauses on his chewing. “Oh my god, it’s perfect. My parents have this cabin. It’s not too far away. There’s a bed.” He says enthusiastically, grinning at Zayn. 

“A bed’s a good start.” Zayn points out. 

“Okay, great, let’s do that then.” Niall says, feeling excited all of sudden. “Perfect, I’ll get you the direction and the keys.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows confusingly. “We can’t go together?” 

Niall shakes his head. “Too suspicious.” He says. “I’ll tell my dad, I’m sleeping over at Sean’s.” He adds, already plotting the story to tell his dad. “So, Saturday night, 8 o’clock.” 

“For sex? 8. 9. 7:30.” Zayn says. 

Niall grins wider than before as he looks at his boyfriend. “Great, so you bring the condoms and I’ll see if I can score some of my mom’s fried chicken for after.” He says. 

Zayn, too amused to say anything else, just nods and grins too.

**************

Niall knocks on the door loudly, trying to make sure that the person inside the cabin can hear him. “Zayn?” He calls out again. It takes a while before the door is opened and Niall looks at his boyfriend. “Zayn! What took you so long? I’m freezing my butt out of here.” He whines and Zayn just smiles silently before he pulls Niall’s hands and leads his boyfriend to step inside. Once Niall steps inside the cabin, he is greeted with a sight of candles and roses, the fireplace is on and the sight of it is almost as romantic as he always seen in the movie and Niall chokes out. “Zayn..”

“I know you said you didn’t want it to be a big deal but it is to me, so..I wanted it to be that way to you too.” Zayn says as he looks at Niall. “It’s no Paris, but..”

Niall turns his head to look at Zayn again and smiles fondly. “Yes, it is.” 

Zayn smiles too and nods. “Does this mean you’re not mad?” He asks. 

Niall rolls his eyes and punches Zayn’s arm playfully before he leans closer to his boyfriend and gives him a kiss. “You’re such a romantic.” He says after he pulls away.

**************

Zayn crawls onto the bed, hovering over Niall’s small body. Bringing their naked bodies closer. His hands cup on Niall’s cheeks, bringing his lips closer to him, kissing him gently. Zayn lets one of his hands travel over Niall’s stomach and the other one is still trailing on Niall’s face as he starts to kiss Niall’s shoulder. He lets his hand trails on Niall’s cheek again when he feels something wet and he quickly pulls away to look at Niall. “You’re crying?” He asks in concern.

Niall shakes his head. “No.” He lies, obviously as a single tear comes out from his eyes and he sniffs. 

“You are.” Zayn points out, worry laced in his tone. 

Niall shakes his head again. “No, it’s fine.” He whispers. 

“No, it’s not fine.” Zayn says, looking at Niall’s face. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Niall replies, trying to sound firm but his voice ends up cracking as he looks at Zayn’s eyes. It takes a second before he starts to crumble. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m sorry.” 

Zayn wipes Niall’s tears away with his thumb. “You sure you’re okay?” He asks, still worried. 

Niall shifts to sit up on the bed and tucks his knees under his chin. “I’m just so overwhelmed by this place and this…this..everything that you did. I’m just..” He says shakily. “What if we’re not ready?” He asks, looking at Zayn with his wet eyes and the tears start to come out again. 

“Then we wait.” Zayn replies simply, shifting so he can sit beside Niall and wraps his arms around his boyfriend, trying to comfort him. 

Niall shakes his head. “What if we’re never ready?” 

Zayn nods. “Okay.” 

Niall turns his head around to look at Zayn. “I mean, what if we do this and everything changes? We fall out of love. Or it’s not as good as it was with you and Perrie.” He rambles on. 

“Niall?”

“What if, Zayn?” Niall presses on. “I mean, we could do this and it could feel wrong for the both of us.” He says. “I mean, think about it. Maybe we haven’t done it yet, because part of us knows that it’s just gonna screw everything up or tell us something we don’t want to know.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Like what?” 

“Like maybe we’re more friends than anything.” Niall says quietly. 

Zayn shifts slightly, and his finger makes a way to Niall’s chin, tilting his boyfriend’s face so that he can see him properly and he stares right into Niall’s eyes. “Do you really believe that?” 

Niall shakes his head. “No, but I’m scared. I don’t want us to change.” He whispered. 

“I don’t want us to change either.” Zayn says gently, wiping the remaining tears on Niall’s face with his thumb. “Look, let’s just take if off the table.”

“What?” 

“Let’s just make that decision right now.” Zayn says. “It’s not something that has to happen. I mean, we don’t have to do it, right?” 

“Really?” Niall says, still sniffling. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah.” 

Niall nods too. “All right.” He says. “So what should we do?” 

Zayn smiles at Niall. “We just go to sleep.” He says, pulling them both to lie on the bed. 

Niall nods before he shifts to the pillow and Zayn pulls him into his arms, kissing the top of Niall’s head lovingly.

**************

Zayn stares at the beautiful face in front of him, who is snuggling onto his arms, as he plays with his hair. Zayn smiles fondly when Niall starts to whine. “Uh, I’m cold.” Niall mumbles sleepily.

Zayn shakes his head at how cute Niall looks at the moment before he pulls the blanket up to cover their bodies. “Here, have some blanket.” He says as he tucks the blanket until it reaches Niall’s shoulder. Niall opens his eyes and smiles slightly at Zayn. “Hey.” Zayn says, stroking Niall’s cheeks gently. 

“You’ve been up?” Niall asks, staring at his boyfriend. Their faces are so close that their noses are grazing each other. 

Zayn smiles and shrugs. “Nah, just for a little. You were snoring.” He teases playfully, brushing some of Niall’s hair out of his eyes. 

Niall scrunches his nose. “I was not.” He whines. 

Zayn smiles wider. “You were. It was cute though so don’t worry.” 

Niall chuckles slightly and he can feel his cheeks start to feel warm because he feels a little embarrassed. “I snore?” 

Zayn nods. “You do.” He says with a grin. 

“Oh, I had no idea. That’s awful.” Niall groans. He tilts his head slightly as he looks down at the blanket on his body. “I love this blanket. My mom made it if you could believe that.” 

Zayn smiles. “I can.” He says sincerely. “The woman like runs Mullingar and still manages to cook three meals a day for your entire family. She should be the next Dalai Lama.” 

Niall chuckles and shakes his head. “I don’t remember when we stopped coming here. We used to go every summer and then one year we just didn’t. Louis got mono or something. Never came back after that. I never even talked about it. Did we ever?” He asks, looking at Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head. “I don’t think so.” He says. “I think people change their routines all the time without really talking about it.” He adds. “One day you just wake up and everything’s different for no other reason than it is.”

Niall nods before he shifts to snuggle closer to Zayn’s body. “I’m still cold.” He whines. 

Zayn pulls Niall closer and wraps his arms tighter around Niall as he lets Niall lays on his chest, their bodies are tangled together on the bed. Niall closes his eyes with a smile and shifts closer until he feels something hard on his thigh and his eyes snaps open. Zayn feels his cheeks starting to warm and he grins sheepishly at Niall. “Oh, I’m sorry.” 

Niall chuckles and shakes his head slightly. “It’s okay.” 

“I didn’t..” Zayn trails off. 

“No. No. It’s a reflex.” Niall says easily. 

Zayn grins and hums in response and they stare at each other at the moment. It takes a moment before they both start to shift on the bed. 

Zayn shifts so that he is laid on Niall’s side, propping up on his elbow and his fingers start to trail down on Niall’s stomach. He traces the outline of Niall’s bicep and rests his hand flat on Niall’s chest. His thumb glides over Niall’s nipple, until it feels hard under his thumb. He tilts his head slightly to look at Niall’s eyes, silently asking him if this is alright and he doesn’t want Niall to freak out like the night before and cries. Niall nods, silently giving Zayn permission to go on and Zayn slides his hand over Niall’s chest again and stropping over his belly button. He grips Niall’s hip and shifts his head again to kiss on Niall’s neck. Niall squirms slightly when Zayn’s tongue flicks over his throats and he tilts his head to the side. 

Zayn moves to kiss his collarbone and Niall’s fingers glide down Zayn’s spine. “I love you, Zayn.” Niall whispers softly, like it is the intimate moment ever between them and Zayn smiles against Niall’s collarbone before he moves his head up to hover on Niall’s face, their noses grazing as they look at each other’s eyes. Niall smiles at Zayn before he continues. “I love that you know more about me than I know about myself. I think it’s amazing that that could happen. Don’t you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“All this time, I’ve been thinking. Thinking about what would happen. How would you feel? How I would feel but I’m not thinking now.” 

Zayn smiles. “I know.” 

“I’m just here with you and I’m not scared.” Niall says before he kisses Zayn. 

“Are you sure?” Zayn asks again after they pull away. He knows Niall looks ready but he can’t help but feel concern. 

Niall nods. “Yeah.” He says before he moves his hand from Zayn’s back to his hair and Zayn continues to place light kisses on his neck. “Just for the record, I love you too.” Zayn says before he brings their lips together again. Niall grips his bicep and moves his lips against Zayn’s. They explore each other’s bodies for a while before Zayn gets up from the bed and takes out the things that he needs before making his way to the bed again. 

Zayn kneels between Niall’s legs and runs his hands to bend Niall’s legs and starts to stroke Niall’s thigh gently. Niall whimpers slightly and Zayn leans forward to kiss Niall’s lips again. When he moves back to kneel between Niall’s legs, the smaller boy spreads his bent legs further apart and grips the sheets at his sides. Zayn gently runs his finger over Niall’s entrance, knowing that this is Niall’s first time and he doesn’t want to hurt the smaller boy. Zayn runs his fingers over the entrance for a while before he presses inside and Niall’s body reflectively tensed around the intrusion. 

Zayn takes his time to prepare Niall’s entrance, pushing his finger inside one by one slowly and gently, like Niall is a glass that he doesn’t want to break. When Niall starts to moan, Zayn pulls his fingers out and shifts his body to kiss Niall on his lips again. 

“Zayn, please..” Niall whimpers between the kisses. “Make love to me.” 

And that’s all it takes before Zayn starts to lining up his cock at Niall’s entrance before he starts to enter with a slow gentle move and Niall moans at the feeling of being filled by Zayn. 

They don’t know how long does it takes before they both come but it feels so surreal that Niall feels like crying again because he is so overwhelmed with the feeling after they made love. Niall whimpers slightly when Zayn pulls out of him and collapses on his side. Zayn kisses his shoulder lovingly before he pulls off the spoiled condom. 

Niall turns his head, his eyes flutter tiredly, but happily as he starts to run his fingers through Zayn’s hair. “Thank you for making love to me.” 

Zayn smiles before he starts to kiss Niall’s lips. “I love you so much.” He says when they pull away. Then he pulls Niall’s body closer to him and wraps his boyfriend’s body into his arms, feeling like he’s holding the most precious thing in the world at the moment.

**************

“Excellent coffee, my dear.” Bobby says, raising his cup up as he looks at his wife.

Maura smiles. “Why, thank you, dear.” She says before they toss their cups together. 

Niall bounces happily into the kitchen and smiles at both of his parents. “Good morning.” He says happily. 

Maura smiles at his youngest son, happy to see that the boy looks glowing. “Good morning, sweetheart. Do you want some eggs?” 

Niall nods, waving his hands off when his mom starts to get up from the seat. “Oh, don’t get up. I got it.” He says. “You look beautiful this morning, mom.” 

Maura shares a look with Bobby before she nods. “Oh, thank you.” 

Bobby sips on his coffee, watching Niall’s bouncy movement across the kitchen’s stool. “Did you have a nice time at Sean’s?” He asks, knowing perfectly that Niall had lied to him when he accidentally heard Niall and Harry’s conversation the night before. But Bobby doesn’t have a heart to get mad because he knows that Niall was with Zayn and his youngest son looks happier than he has ever been for months. 

Niall grins and nods. “Yeah, it was good.” 

“You’re not hungry?” Maura asks. 

Niall shakes his head. “Not right now, no. Thanks though.” He says before he grabs the photo album that has been left on the table. “We really gonna sell the cabin on the lake?” He asks as he trails down his finger on the picture of the cabin with a soft smile on his face. 

“I don’t know.” Bobby replies. “Perhaps we should hold onto it for another year. Maybe take a trip up there this summer. See if it still holds any magic for us.” He says. 

Niall takes a seat between his parents on the table and sips on his coffee. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He says happily. 

And that’s when it clicks on Bobby and Maura’s minds on where Niall has been with Zayn the night before. Niall seems oblivious to his parent’s reaction as he finishes his coffee and puts the cup down on the table. “I’m gonna go check my email.” He says as he starts to stand up but not before he kisses his mother on the cheeks. 

Once Niall leaves, Bobby looks at Maura. “You realize they were..” 

Maura nods and smiles. “I realize.”

Bobby shakes his head. “That place goes on the market today.”

**************

Niall rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling. Again. He has been tossing around for a while because he can’t sleep. Everything feels different now that he’s alone on the bed instead of lying down with Zayn.

Meanwhile, at Malik’s household, Zayn is feeling the same way too. He sighs again as he can’t sleep and he grabs his phone on the table before he dials a familiar number. 

Niall looks at the name on his phone’s screen and smiles before he picks it up. “Hi.” 

Zayn smiles when he hears Niall’s voice. “Hey.” He says. “I just called to see if you were snoring yet.” He teases. 

Niall chuckles slightly at that comment. “Shut up.” He whines embarrassingly. 

Zayn feels his heart flutters as he can imagine the red cheeks of Niall when he’s feeling embarrassed and he feels the sudden urge to kiss Niall right at the moment. If only he could do that through the phone. “You grind your teeth too. Did I tell you that?” 

“I do not.” Niall whines again. 

Zayn chuckles. “I know.”

“Whatcha doing?” Niall asks, playing with the string of his blanket, hoping that Zayn is beside him instead of hearing his voice on the phone.

“Nothing much.” Zayn replies. “What are you doing?” 

“Nothing.” _Just missing you._ Niall wants to add. 

“Cool.” Zayn says simply before they both fall into silence, just listening on each other’s breathing over the phone until they fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! What do you think? :D


	10. You promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from: [**Avril Lavigne - Complicated**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NPBIwQyPWE)
> 
> Let the drama begins! :P

“Morning.” Yasir greets as soon as he steps into the office and the first thing he sees is Bobby on the ladder, trying to hang the ornaments on the wall. 

Bobby turns his head slightly to look at the other man and smiles. “Oh, good tidings to you, Dr. Malik.” He greets in return. “What do you think of our decked halls?” 

Yasir looks around and shrugs before he replies to Bobby’s question. “Oh, fine. Christmassy.” He replies simply. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “What? No grousing that I didn’t consult you before commencing with the decorative scheme.” He says as he climbs down the ladder. “No quick-witted barbs about my audacious integration of traditional Victorian ornamentation with the more plebeian drug store variety.” 

Yasir rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “It’s 8 o’clock in the morning, Bobby.” He points out. “You’re gonna have to try to use less adjectives.”

“I see your mood has not improved.” Bobby deadpans. “You remain the quite dowered little elf.” 

Yasir snorts. “My mood is fine.” He says. “And don’t call me an elf, it pisses me off.” He adds before he walks into his own office and slams the door shut. 

Bobby shakes his head and doesn’t bother to check on Yasir, since he knows that the other man probably needs a few minutes to get calm. Bobby mentally congratulates himself when Yasir opens his door not long after that and steps outside to the hall of their office again. 

“Okay, you’re right. I’m in a bad mood.” Yasir admits as he looks at Bobby. 

“Really? Forgive my un-dropped jaw.” Bobby deadpans sarcastically. 

Yasir sighs before he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but I’m just, look, I’m just completely overwhelmed.” He admits. “I feel like I’ve been shopping since forever and I’m not even half way done yet.” 

“Single father. Christmas time. You do have my sympathy.” Bobby says. 

“Good, because I’m hoping to shamelessly exploit that sympathy.” Yasir says. “I, uh, I could really use some help with my patient load.” 

Bobby shrugs slightly before he nods. “Perhaps, it is after all the season of charity.” He points out. 

Yasir smiles at the other man gratefully. “Thanks.” He says before he hands the paper to Bobby and turns around to walk back towards his office. 

Bobby reads the name on the paper and raises his eyebrows. “Wait, wait, what is this?” He asks confusingly. “You’re giving me John Hayes back again?” 

Yasir stops walking and turns around to face Bobby again. “Well, all you have to do is go to the house and oversee his day-to-day progress.” He says to Bobby. “I think you’d be fascinated by some of the work we’ve been doing. It’s very cutting edge. And when I think cutting edge, I think Bobby Horan.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “From what I understand you’ve been a human CD changer; hardly Nobel winning.” 

“All right, well, scratch the cutting edge, but it’s a very simple routine once you get it down.” Yasir says. “It’s just a little bit time consuming.” 

“Time consuming is not a bonus.” Bobby deadpans. “I do have other patients to attend to.” 

Yasir nods understandingly. “I know, that’s why I called some other doctors first about the case and no one would do it pro bono, which I find kind of ironic since this is the season of giving. But you, with the tinsel and the Christmas balls, I mean you really have the spirit.” 

Bobby rolls his eyes and snorts. “Oh, do go that route, sir. It wears very poorly on you.” He points out as he looks at Yasir. 

Yasir sighs. “Look, you were his doctor once, Bobby. You took care of him. He needs you now and Amanda needs someone to help her through this.” 

“Amanda?” 

Yasir ignores Bobby’s curious tone and continues to speak. “Would you help me out on this? I could really use it.” 

Bobby finally nods in agreement. “Consider it my gift to you.” He says. 

“Thank you.”

**************

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem big enough, especially after everything he did in cabin.” Niall says before he sighs heavily. His eyes are darting around at the shopping mall, looking for a gift for Zayn.

Harry nods understandingly and before he could reply, Niall picks up one of the watches on the display nearby and stares at it. “Do you think they could engrave it? Do you think I could fit ‘I love you, Zayn’ on the back?” 

“Absolutely, engrave it. Then can we go?” Harry says, almost pleading since they are too many people around him at the mall and he feels suffocated. This is why he hates to shop near the Christmas season. 

Niall shakes his head and puts down the watch back on the display rack. “No, watch is too boring.” He says. “I want my first Christmas present for Zayn to be original, but if I try too hard to make it original, I’ll wind up getting him something like a fondue set, which would be weird, right?” 

Harry shrugs. “Depends on what mood is he in. Sometimes he can be a fan of cheese.” He points out, knowing his brother. 

Niall smiles and nods. “I believe he’s in favor of it.” He says. 

“Well, then..” 

“But I like the watch.” Niall whines. “Maybe I should just get him both.” 

Harry rolls his eyes at Niall’s indecisive rant and shakes his head. He loves Niall, he does. But sometimes Niall can be too lost in his own world that he doesn’t realize that people around him are not fine. “I’m developing hives. Seriously, I feel all scratchy.” Harry says, getting out of his jacket. “Am I red, because I feel red?” 

Niall turns around to face Harry and he finally notices on how uncomfortable Harry is at the moment. But Niall knows the body language so well. “Harry, you just need to see Christmas shopping as a survival game.” Niall points out. “Just keep moving, bob and weave, avoid strollers, and pack water.” He adds before he pulls out a water bottle from his backpack and hands it to Harry. 

Harry accepts the bottle gratefully. “Thank you.” 

Niall nods. “All right, we can leave in 10 minutes if you have some stroke of genius about what to get my dad.” He says. “Keep in mind, I forgot his birthday last year so this has to rock.”

Harry finishes drinking the water and hands the bottle back to Niall before he replies. “So, I guess golf balls are out.”

**************

“Two pies for the County Clerk’s office.” Louis says to the barista at the coffee shop. He glances around the small coffee shop before his eyes land on Zayn, who is at the same time lifting his head and their eyes meet. Louis nods awkwardly and Zayn is pretty much doing the same thing. Neither of them had talked to each other since their last encounter. Being the older one, Louis thinks that he should be the one that need to try to redeem what’s left of their friendship, so he walks closer to Zayn’s table.

“What’s up?” Louis asks, standing near the table. 

Zayn glances at the counter before he looks at Louis again. “You wanna sit down? It’s pretty backed up. It might be a while.” He points out and Louis nods before he takes a seat in front of Zayn. “Look at you.” Zayn says, pointing out at Louis’s outfit. 

Louis glances down to his work attire and nods. “Yeah.” 

“Gone all legit?” Zayn asks. 

Louis nods and shrugs. “Got a new job.” He says. “I got my own line.” He adds, before he sees flyer on the table. The flyer about Perrie’s band’s gig at the local place. “Hey, uh, I got one of these too on my car.” 

Zayn lets Louis takes the flyer and he nods. “Yeah, I know, weird right?” 

Louis shakes his head. “Not for me.” He says. “So are you gonna go?” He asks, looking at Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head quickly. “No. No, I don’t..”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Why not?” 

Zayn is slightly taken aback by the unexpected question but he continues anyway. “Well, I don’t know. Why would I?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. Why do people slow down on freeway when they see a car accident?” Louis points out sarcastically. “All those rubber headers.” 

Zayn snorts and rolls his eyes. “Neckers, Louis. Neckers.” 

Louis nods, not really bother about the correction. “Right. They stop because they can’t help themselves.” He says. “You know, it’s not like they want to see body parts spewed all over the road.” He points out, looking at Zayn. “You know, intellectually speaking, you know that would make them hurl, but they stop anyways, because you can, cause it’s there.” 

“So, according to this rationale, seeing Perrie’s band will make me want to hurl and that’s a reason to go? Interesting theory.” Zayn deadpans sarcastically. 

Louis rolls his eyes, having been on the end of Zayn’s sarcasm for too many times to be offended about it. “Oh, come on. You’re not even the least bit curious? What she looks like? It’s been a while.” He says. 

Zayn nods and shrugs. “Yeah, of course, I’m curious.” He admits truthfully. 

“So, go for the visual.” Louis says. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows as he looks at Louis. “What? No, do I just bring Niall along?” 

Louis groans out loud and shakes his head. “Dude, seriously. I don’t know how you made this far without me.” He deadpans. “Really. You don’t tell Niall. He’d freak.” 

“Well, I thought you said it was human nature.” Zayn points out, throwing Louis’s words back at him.

Louis shakes his head. “We’re talking about jealousy and claws. It’s ugliness, man.” 

“So, I should lie to him?” Zayn asks confusingly. 

“Look, lies of omission don’t count as lies.” Louis points out. “Did you tell Niall that you didn’t brush your teeth this morning?” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Well, I did brush my teeth this morning.” 

“Pretend that you didn’t.” Louis says. “Would you tell him?” 

“Well, uh, why? No, I wouldn’t.” Zayn replies. 

Louis nods firmly. “This is the exact same thing.” He says, looking at Zayn searching for his decision. 

Zayn shrugs. “Uh, I don’t think I should go.” 

“Well,” Louis says and pauses. “You’re a bigger man than I am, Zayn Malik.” He points out. “But I guess we already knew that.”

**************

Niall runs towards his bed when his phone starts to ring and he picks the call up breathlessly. “I need seven minutes.” He says to Zayn at the other end of the line as he is getting ready for their date.

“Uh, it’s okay.” Zayn says. “I’m still at home.” He adds, feeling slightly guilty because he is not at home, but in his car instead, in front of the place where Perrie’s band is supposed to have a gig. 

Niall nods as he tries the other jacket and looks at his reflection in front of the mirror. “Okay, the slower you drive, the better I’ll look.” He says with a grin. 

Zayn swallows a lump in his throat before he starts to speak again. “Um, would it be huge if we didn’t go out tonight?” He asks. 

Niall stops picking up his clothes from the floor, trying to hang it back in the closet before he stops moving at Zayn’s question. “Huh? I thought we were gonna, you know?” 

Zayn nods even though he knows Niall can’t see him. “Yeah, I know I’m just..I’m feeling a little under the weather, so..” He trails off, feeling guiltier as he lies to his boyfriend. 

Niall hums in response. “Flu bug?” He asks. 

“Probably.” Zayn replies. “I think I should stay in. I don’t want to get any more sick.” 

Niall nods understandingly. “Okay, well, you want me to bring you soup or I could, uh, go pick up your favorite cold medicine, one that makes you feel drunk.” He offers. 

Zayn mentally slaps himself for doing this and he really really loves how caring Niall is towards him but he thinks he just need to do this for once and so he continues to lie. “That’s okay, I don’t want to get you sick.”

“Okay.” Niall replies. “Well, take lots of Vitamin C, watch Jon Stewart and call me tomorrow.” He says easily. It’s not Zayn’s fault that they have to cancel their date just because he got sick, right? 

“I will.” Zayn says simply. “Bye.” 

“Bye.”

**************

“Hey.” Louis greets as soon as he spots Zayn inside the place. “Do you know they don’t serve beer here?” He asks, looking at Zayn.

“That’s because it’s a coffee house.” Zayn deadpans. “So, you’re here?” 

Louis grins smugly and nods. “As are you.” He points out knowingly. 

Zayn shakes his head. “How’d you know I’d?” 

“Dude, please.” Louis says as he rolls his eyes. “I figured you could use a wingman.” He adds cheekily. 

“I’m..what do I really expect tonight, best case scenario?” Zayn asks as he looks around the place, not knowing what to expect. 

Louis puts his arm around Zayn’s shoulder and leads him further inside the place. “Uh, okay, possibility number one, you want to get back together with Perrie.” 

“No, I don’t.” Zayn replies quickly. 

“Come on, she came up to you and said that you were the only man she’s ever loved and said that she’d dress up like Catwoman for you, you would say no?” Louis asks. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s not like that. I don’t miss Perrie like that.” He points out. “I don’t even miss the relationship that we had.” He adds. “The truth is I always felt like I was trying to keep up with her, prove myself, with Niall I don’t feel like that way, he makes me feel good.” He admits truthfully. 

Louis nods after Zayn finishes. “Groovy, well, then this is just the Pepsi challenge.” 

“More metaphors.” Zayn deadpans. 

Louis leads them to one the small tables and take their seats before Louis speaks up again. “Look, you’re in love with your current beverage, okay, Niall Cola, alright, but every man needs the side by side taste test.” He points out. “Okay, so you come here, you check out the ex and you just make sure you made the right choice.” He adds. “Of course that choice becomes much easier if Perrie is suddenly became heinous.” 

Before Zayn could response to that, the lights on the place start to dim and the voice of the host is booming through the microphone. “Let’s have a big welcome for Joe Lies!” 

They both turn their heads to look at the stage and Zayn can’t help but feel a little bit disappointed when the lead singer of the band is no longer the same girl that he was hoping to see tonight.

**************

“I’m dreaming of a White Christmas just like the ones I used to know.” Bobby sings loudly, along with the music as he hangs the ornaments on the Christmas tree.

Niall rolls his eyes from the other side of the tree and shakes his head. “Dad, love the Bing, but can we maybe switch it up a bit?” 

Bobby walks around the tree to look at his youngest son and raises his eyebrows. “What?” He asks in a mock offense. “Silence they’re Bing, never.” He says and Niall laughs at his father’s ridiculous expression. “When we, Horans, lose our traditions, young man, we lose who we are.” Bobby adds. 

Maura shakes her head fondly at the little banter between Bobby and Niall. “Uh, we should save the star for Louis, it’s his favorite part.” She points out. 

Niall shakes his head. “Rice Krispies Treats are his favorite part.” He says as he looks at his mother, grabbing the food on the coffee table at the living room. “Maybe we should make some more.” He says and grins.

**************

“Hey. Your mom said I could just come up.” Zayn says as soon as he steps into Niall’s room and finds his boyfriend at his study desk, staring at his computer.

Niall glances briefly at Zayn before he nods. “Hey, um, how ya feelin?” He asks. 

Zayn shrugs. “Well, pretty good, you know, uh, sorry about last night. I just…” He trails off. 

Niall shakes his head. “That’s okay, Zayn. You’re a weak stock.” He teases. 

“I’m fast healer though.” Zayn points out. He raises his eyebrows as Niall’s eyes never leaves the screen and he comes closer to Niall and looks at him curiously. “What are you doing?” 

“Just some research stuff.” Niall replies. 

“You realize that it’s Christmas break, right?” Zayn asks. “It means all computer-oriented activities should cease and assist.” He points out. “Unless of course you’re buying me presents online.” He adds. “Niall?” He calls out when Niall seems to tune his out, not really listening to his words. 

Niall turns his head around to look at Zayn. “Huh? Oh, sorry.” He apologizes sheepishly. “So, what you have been doing the past 12 hours, anything exciting?” 

“Uh, just feeling pathetic mostly.” Zayn says, trying his best to look calm and not blurting out the truth about where he had went to last night. 

“As you should be.” Niall deadpans. “Flaking on me last minute like that.” He says, trying to sound mad but they both know that he is not. 

“Well, what about you, how was the pagan tree trimming and nog making?” Zayn asks.

Niall chuckles slightly and rolls his eyes. “When are you going to accept my Lord?” 

“When you stop persecuting my people.” Zayn replies. 

“Actually, it was kinda nice. Dad, uh, dad carolled himself to sleep.” Niall says and laughs at the ridiculous act of his father when it’s Christmas season. “Mom got buzzed off the hot toddies. Sean came by.” 

“Yeah?” 

Niall nods. “Yeah, I was going to call you.”

“Did you?” Zayn asks quickly, too quick for his liking. “Try calling me, I mean because my phone..my phone was off.” 

“Oh.” 

“I mean, only cause I wanted to get to sleep, I mean, otherwise I would have left it on. I just wanted to sleep.” Zayn says, trying to sound as calm as possible. 

Niall shrugs before he nods. “Well, I guess, it doesn’t matter because I didn’t try calling you, so..” He says distractedly as he looks back at his computer screen. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows at Niall’s odd behaviour. Something feels off. “Are you like mad at me or something?” 

Niall turns his head to look at Zayn again. “No. Why would I be mad at you?” He asks, looking at his boyfriend confusingly. 

“Well, I don’t know, but you’re acting like you’re mad at me.” Zayn points out. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “You’re acting weird, which is normally fine, but, um, you know, I have a lot of work to do right now so..” 

Zayn shakes his head, starting to stand up from the edge of Niall’s bed and grabs his jacket. “You know what, I’m just gonna go.” 

Niall smiles and nods. “Cool.” 

“Um, I’ll just..I’ll call you later or you can call me.” Zayn says. 

“Okay.” Niall replies distractedly as he already turns back to look at his computer again.

**************

“Hey, how it’d go with John? Was it good?” Yasir asks as soon as Bobby steps into their office building. “I just found some new articles on light therapy. I was printing them up for you.”

“Save your toner. I was fired.” Bobby says. 

“What?” 

Bobby shakes his head. “Terminated. Unceremoniously, I might add.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “Well, what did you do?” He asks and when he notices something on Bobby’s hand, he groans. “Oh, no, don’t tell me you took your slide projector.” 

Bobby shakes his head again. “What did I do? I hurled myself into her husband’s treatment with unrestrained verve, that’s what I did.” 

“Well, some people don’t respond well to hurling nerves.” Yasir points out. “Some people need to be romanced into things a little.” He adds. “What did she say? How did she act?” 

“Frankly, in the five years I’ve worked with her, I’ve never seen her quite so fragile.” Bobby says truthfully. “Perhaps it’s the holidays, maybe it’s simply exhaustion. Whatever the reason, she’s had enough, she’s done.” 

Yasir contemplates Bobby’s words for a moment before he nods. “All right, new plan.” He says. “We’ll talk about what you should say and how to say it. We’ll write a script.” 

Bobby rolls his eyes. “I do not need to recite your written words like some sort of in named drone.” He says. “Mrs. Hayes was quite clear in her resolve. I think we need to respect her wishes and move on.” 

“What are you talking about, respect her wishes?” Yasir asks incredulously. “We’re going to continue this therapy. I’m not gonna let my patient suffer just because I mishandled my relationship with his wife.” He blurts out. 

That words get Bobby’s attention as he steps closer towards Yasir’s desk. “Mishandled what precisely?” He asks and when Yasir refuses to look at him and turns to look at his computer instead, Bobby sighs understandingly. “She’s a very beautiful woman, isn’t she? I know she seems quite strong. She’s really very vulnerable. Susceptible almost.” 

“Susceptible to what?” Yasir asks. 

“Almost anything.” Bobby replies. “I’d imagine or anyone. A woman in her position, it would be very easy to confuse gratitude with other kinds of affection.” 

Yasir sighs before he turns to look at Bobby again. “Why don’t you just cut to the chase, Bobby?” 

“This is not a dalliance. She’s married to your patient.” Bobby points out firmly. 

“Nothing has happened.” Yasir presses. 

“Well, good. Then it’s not too late.” Bobby says before he takes a seat in front of Yasir at the desk. “Listen to me, Yasir. I believe you are more an honourable man. That belief has allowed me to stand by you even when we’ve disagreed. There has been many of cases, and many of parental decisions where I’ve questioned your tactics, your approach. Ultimately, I’ve chalked it up to your liberal ballyhoo, that London sensibility that you still cling to. But what you’re considering now is wrong.” Bobby says. “It’s wrong. No matter what your heart may be telling you, it is unethical. It is unforgivable. You have to stay away from her.”

**************

“Taking a break?” Yasir asks as soon as Zayn steps into the kitchen through the backdoor.

“Not feeling it.” Zayn replies simply, heading towards the fridge. He takes one of the coke bottles before he turns around to face his father. “Do you ever get that thing where everything in your life is pretty much perfect but instead of just enjoying it, you can’t wait to smash it all up?” 

Yasir shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s been a while since perfect for me.” He replies truthfully. “Why? What’s going on?” 

Zayn sighs. “Uh, I went to see Perrie the other day.” He blurts out truthfully. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “When did this happen?” He asks, as calmly as possible. 

“A few nights ago.” Zayn replies. “I got a flyer for her band on my car. Talked to Louis.” 

“Oh because he always give such a good advice.” Yasir deadpans sarcastically. “So did you see her?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No. She left the band. That…the thing is..”

“So she wasn’t there?” 

“No. But the point is there was no possible reason for me to go.” Zayn says. “No good could have come out of it, but I went anyway as is someone was daring me.”

Yasir looks at Zayn. “You mean Louis?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I mean like the little red dude on my shoulder. He’s got a pitchfork. He’s all over the Cartoon Network.” He says and when his father stares at him cluelessly, Zayn sighs. “Everything in my life is finally right. Niall’s great. School is what it is, but I keep testing it just seeing how far I can push things before they all fall apart. What kind of a person does that?” 

Yasir nods understandingly. “A curious person.” He says. “But there is some things you don’t need to waste your time wondering about.” 

“I can’t help it.” Zayn admits truthfully. “Lately, I feel like my life is one of those your own adventure books. You know if I take the MCC tour, does that jinx my shot at getting into Juilliard? If I call Perrie, does that automatically sabotage my relationship with Niall?” 

“You got her number?” Yasir asks. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, Jay gave it to me.” He replies. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

“Well, no one says you have to call her.” Yasir points out. 

“Yeah, I know, but I want to, that’s the whole problem.” Zayn whines. 

Yasir nods. “Yeah, little red guy.” He points out. “Look, if you’re not feeling happy with the way things are in your life, I understand mixing it up, but what I don’t understand is creating drama just because you are bored.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, there’s a difference between thinking and doing and the latter can be very self-destructive and you’re too smart for that.” Yasir says. “Do you love Niall?” 

“Of course I do.” Zayn replies firmly. 

Yasir nods. “Okay, then just don’t say, know it, and think about it every time you’re just about to do something stupid because all those temptations, they’re always going to be there and they’re gonna come in a whole lot of forms – ex girlfriend or boyfriend, potential boyfriends or girlfriends.” 

“Snake, garden, apple.” Zayn finishes for his father. “I know where you’re going with this.”

“So don’t forget it.” Yasir points out. “Because losing someone you forgot to appreciate when you had them, that’s just about the worst feeling in the world. Trust me.” He says, looking at Zayn. 

Zayn nods understandingly. “Yeah.” He says before he pulls out a little piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to his father. A number is written on the paper. “Maybe Harry will want to call her or something.” He says before he turns around to leave the kitchen.

**************

Zayn stands up from his seat as he hears the knock on the door. He opens the door and find Niall is standing there. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Niall replies back. 

“Do we have plans?” Zayn asks confusingly. 

Niall shakes his head. “No.” He replies simply before he steps into the studio room and heading straight towards the couch. 

Zayn closes the door and looks at Niall once the other boy is sitting down. “You okay?” He asks, looking at the solemn expression on Niall’s face. 

Niall sighs heavily before he rubs his hands over his face. “No, actually I’m not okay.” He replies quietly. The thing is the night when Sean had come to see him, his friend, or used to his best friend had told Niall that he might have Huntington’s disease. And being a clueless boy that he is, Niall started to do his research and what he hadfound out about the disease was totally terrifying. Sean could die and even though they’re no longer being best buddies like before, Niall still care about his friend. 

Zayn’s eyes go wide and he can feel his heart thumps in his chest. “I am so sorry, Niall.” Zayn blurts out suddenly. “I’m sorry, I..”

Niall lifts his head from his hands and looks at Zayn confusingly. “Sorry for what?” 

“Oh, uh..you know..I wasn’t actually gonna..I was..I mean, I was gonna tell you but I wasn’t gonna tell you exactly like this.” Zayn stammers. 

Niall shakes his head in confusion. “Tell me about what?” 

Zayn swallows thickly before he starts to speak again. “Uh, I lied to you.” He admits finally. “Uh, the other night when I said I was sick, I wasn’t really sick, I actually went to see Perrie’s band play, um, at this place.” 

Niall’s expression change from curious to mad in a split second and Zayn curses himself mentally. “You went to see Perrie?” Niall asks, his tone is sharp. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I mean, she wasn’t there. I didn’t see her.” 

Niall straightens his body up and looks at Zayn fiercely. “What possible reason could you have to go to see Perrie?” 

“None.” Zayn says firmly. “No reason and she wasn’t there, that’s what I’m saying, I mean you have to remember that part, that part is the key.” He adds quickly, trying to fix the situation. 

“Well, do you want to get back together with her?” Niall asks bluntly. 

Zayn shakes his head quickly. “No. No.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Then I don’t understand, Zayn.” 

“I don’t either. I swear, it was..I was just being stupid and self-destructive for no reason what so ever.” Zayn admits. “I feel terrible about it. I totally regret it now.” 

Niall huffs and shakes his head. “I don’t understand why wouldn’t you tell me before you went and tell me now?” He asks.

“Because I thought you know, you were acting so weird..” Zayn replies and when Niall glares at him, he tries to rephrase his answer. “But that’s not why I told you, I told you because I mean, you know, I…you know it felt wrong not telling you and I felt like I was maybe lying to you.”

“You were lying!” Niall points out angrily. “You did lie!” He adds before he stands up abruptly. 

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Zayn apologizes. 

Niall shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, feeling mad over Zayn’s lie. “You felt guilty because you knew what you did was wrong so you told me because you didn’t want to feel guilty any more which means not only you are you a liar, but you’re a selfish liar!” He points out before he strides towards the door angrily, heading out of the studio. He is too mad at his boyfriend at the moment. Zayn had lied to him. And what hurts the most is the fact that Zayn had bailed on their date just because he wanted to go and see his ex-girlfriend. 

“Niall?” Zayn trails off, following his boyfriend’s steps closely. 

Niall reaches the doorknob and stops walking before he opens the door angrily. “Don’t.” He hisses when Zayn tries to put his hand on his shoulder. 

“I just thought it was better to be honest.” Zayn says.

Niall snorts and shakes his head. “Well, you thought wrong.” He deadpans. 

Zayn sighs, knowing full well that this mess is all because of his own fault and stupidity. “Okay, but don’t leave like this.” 

Niall shakes his head. “You know what, Zayn. Don’t call me. I can’t deal with this right now.” He says before he opens the door and walks out, slamming the door shut in front of Zayn’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p/s: so excited for the tour, for the videos, for the moments and for the boys!
> 
> p/s/s: (26/4): 
> 
> apparently I received this message on 1DFF.net. 
> 
> Hey! We just wanted to let you know that you’ve been nominated for a One Direction Fan Fiction Under 50 Award! Make sure to tell all of your readers to go vote for you at
> 
> <https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1RrZFcplsB4WoFdKCLsHxqXRkhXx_f9xeXthfj1o4_8I/viewform>
> 
>  
> 
> You can also go visit our website: <http://under50awards.tumblr.com/> to pick up your “Nominee Banner.” Congrats and good luck!
> 
>  
> 
> -Hannah and Sarah from “Under 50 Awards”
> 
>  
> 
> vote for me! :D


	11. You're my downfall, you're my muse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from **[John Legend - All of Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg)** (love this song so freaking much!)

Zayn stops and parks his car with a screech sound as soon as he spots the familiar figure, wearing a snapback is walking halfway to the school building. He quickly gets out of his car and jogs his way towards the boy. “Hey.” He calls out, trying to get the boy’s attention. 

Niall turns around and nods curtly. “Hey,” he replies. 

Zayn pants breathlessly, still trying to regain after a little exercise that he did to chase Niall. He looks at his boyfriend. “I thought I was picking you up this morning,” he says. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “I never said that,” he points out. 

“Oh, I..must just have figured.” Zayn stammers unsurely. “Uh, you want a coffee?” He offers one of the coffees in his hand to Niall. “Extra vanilla.” 

Niall smiles slightly at the sight of coffee and grabs the cup from Zayn’s grip. “Thank you.” 

Zayn nods. “So did you get text message about hanging out tonight? I thought maybe we could order a pizza or something.” He rambles on as he starts to walk alongside Niall on their ways to the class. 

Niall sighs slightly and stops walking, turning his body around to face Zayn properly. “Zayn, I know I accepted your apology. And I told you that I didn’t want to break up, but I’m just not ready for this.” He says as he looks at Zayn. 

Zayn, slightly taken aback by Niall’s words, starts to nod slowly. “Oo..okay,” he drawls. 

“Like this coffee. This coffee is desperate coffee. It doesn’t make up for the fact that you lied to me.” Niall points out as he waves the cup in front of Zayn. “It doesn’t make me forget what you did, so just don’t do it. Okay?” 

Zayn sighs heavily and shrugs. “I was..I was just trying.” 

Niall nods. “I know,” he says understandingly. “But it’s not helping.” 

Zayn is about to say something else when somebody is calling for Niall’s name from behind them. They both turn around to look at Jack, one of Niall’s friends is running towards them. 

“Niall! You’re not gonna believe what just happened! I still can’t.” Jack says once he reaches both of them. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “What happened?” He asks confusingly. 

“Mrs. Baxworth just posted the list for Las Fille mal Gardee.” Jack says. “And guess who the main lead is? Me!” The boy tells Niall excitedly. 

“Oh, is that good?” Zayn asks, glancing between Niall and Jack. He is totally clueless about the play. 

“Hello? It’s the lead!” Jack says, still loud as ever. 

Zayn glances between both Niall and Jack again. “So, it’s good.” 

Niall smiles slightly at his friend and nods. “That’s awesome, Jack. Congratulations.” He tells the boy. 

“It’s only because you didn’t audition this year, which was so cool of you.” Jack points out. 

Niall shakes his head. “Oh, that’s not true. You are super talented.” 

“Are you kidding?” Jack asks disbelievingly. “I totally suck!” He says. “But my mom is gonna pass out when I tell her, so I’m like forever in your debt. Seriously, my firstborn, totally yours.” 

“Oh, that’s..that’s really unnecessary.” Niall says, waving his friend off. 

Jack shakes his head again and pulls Niall into a tight hug. “Thank you so much!” He says before he pulls away and runs towards the school building, leaving Niall and Zayn both alone again. 

“Wow. Who knew you could make somebody so happy by not doing something.” Zayn says, looking at Niall again. “Did you want that part?” 

Niall shrugs. “I didn’t audition, so obviously I didn’t want it.” 

Zayn nods. “Well, is he any good?” He asks. 

Niall shrugs again. “He’ll be fine.” He replies simply. Then, the bell rings and Niall looks at Zayn. “I gotta go. My class is on the other side of the school,” he tells Zayn. “I can’t carry this. Sorry.” He adds as he hands the coffee back to Zayn before he walks away quickly. 

“Okay, so I’ll just…” Zayn tries to say to Niall but instead end up of speaking to the thin air. “…see you never.”

**************

“So, I have good news.” Niall says to Harry as they both are walking at the hallway. “My mom finally said yes to the F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon. Can you still come tonight?” He asks and when Harry just stares at him, Niall raises his eyebrows. “What?”

Harry shakes his head. “Okay, so here’s a question and I don’t mean to cuss, but what the heck is going on?” He asks curiously. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?” He asks confusingly. “Nothing.” 

Harry snorts at Niall’s answer and shakes his head again. “We’ve hung out the last three weeks, almost everyday, just the two of us.” He points out. “Now, I know I’m a huge party boy. Tons of fun.” He points out sarcastically, knowing full well that Niall knows he is joking. 

“Shut up.” Niall says and rolls his eyes fondly at the younger boy. 

Harry chuckles slightly. “But you have a boyfriend, goes by the name of Zayn.” He points out. 

Niall nods and shrugs. “I know and I see plenty of Zayn, in the morning, lunch, between classes.” He tells the younger boy. 

Harry rolls his eyes. “Sounds like real quality time.” He deadpans. 

“Yeah, well, it’s enough for now.” Niall says and shrugs. “Besides you need me more than he does. Someone’s gotta make sure you’re taking care of yourself. What’s with your clumsiness and all.” He teases. 

Harry laughs and punches Niall’s arm playfully. He knows he is clumsy and that is why Niall is always teasing him about it. Not that he minds, though. “You’re avoiding the issue,” he points out. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “What issue?” 

“The Zayn issue.” Harry says. “Okay, you can either decide to forgive him or you can tell him you need more time to mull, but you can’t just avoid him forever.” 

Niall sighs, knowing full well what Harry is talking about. “I know. I know. I just…everytime I think about him going to see Perrie, I want to punch him in the face,” he admits truthfully. 

Harry hums in response and nods understandingly. “Okay, well maybe talking would be a better approach,” he says. “Certainly, less violent.” He adds, looking at Niall. “You don’t have to break up over this.” 

“What if I want to?” Niall asks. 

Harry shakes his head. “You don’t want to,” he says firmly. 

Niall stares at Harry. “How do you know?” He challenges. 

Harry sighs. “Because you want to punch him in the face,” he points out. “You don’t bother punching people you don’t care about.” 

“I don’t want to punch you in the face.” Niall tells the younger boy. 

Harry laughs and punches Niall’s arm playfully again. “Shut up.” He says fondly.

**************

“So what do you do all day here, dude?” Zayn asks, glancing around the room.

Louis shrugs. “See those pamphlets right there?” He points to the box on the wall. 

Zayn nods as he notices the pamphlets. “You wrote them?” He asks the older guy. 

Louis shakes his head. “No, I filed them,” he replies. “And when the receipts come in from the printers that made them, I file those too.” 

“I’m noticing a trend.” Zayn deadpans. 

“Hey, it’s what I do here 9 to 5.” Louis tells Zayn. “Except for that half an hour break I get where I get to talk to my co-workers about how their filing’s going.” 

Zayn snorts and shakes his head. “You actually just made high school sound fun.” Zayn points out and Louis laughs at that comment, while trying to cut the cake that he got from his office pantry. “At least you got cake.” 

Louis nods. “Oh, yeah. Sure you don’t want some?” He offers before he starts to take his first bite. 

“Yeah, I’m not feeling very festive.” Zayn replies and shakes his head. 

Louis raises his eyebrows, staring at Zayn and nods understandingly. “Niall still got you in the freezer?” 

Zayn sighs heavily and nods, slumping against the chair. “I can’t get through. Ever since I told him about Perrie.”

“Which I told you not to do.” Louis deadpans. 

“Which doesn’t help you reminding me of that every 5 minutes.” Zayn points out. “Anyway, it’s moved beyond sucks,” he adds. “It’s like we talk, but we don’t talk. I mean, I know how his classes are going, but I have no idea how he’s doing.” 

Louis nods as he listens to Zayn. “Have you tried buying him an expensive gift?” He asks. 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t think that’s going to do it,” he admits truthfully. 

“Maybe you and I have a different definition of expensive.” Louis points out, taking the last bite of the cake, wiping his hands on the napkin before he looks at Zayn again. “Look, Niall likes to hold a grudge. When he was 12, I cut his guitar string, he acted like an only child for 6 months. Keep it up through Christmas.” 

Zayn sighs heavily after Louis finishes. “Great. Only 5 months to go.” He deadpans sarcastically. 

Louis raises his eyebrows. “That’s how long it’s been?” He asks in surprise. He never know that the problem is dragged until more than a week. Let alone a month. 

“Yeah.” Zayn says and nods. 

Louis hums and nods. “Okay, this is bad, but at least we know what we’re up against,” he says as he looks at Zayn. “Can I be honest with you?” 

Zayn nods. “Sure,” he replies simply. 

“Talking like mean honest?” Louis asks again for confirmation and when Zayn nods, the older boy continues. “Sounds like he’s over it,” he points out. “Okay, there’s this more than just pissed off punishment here. You know when someone does and keeps it up for more than 10 days, he seems like he’s phasing you out.” 

Zayn sighs for the umpteenth time and shakes his head. “I know. I know, you’re right,” he says. “You’re right, but what do I do? I mean, how..how do I phase back in?” 

“Face time. Lots of it.” Louis replies. 

“That’s the problem. I can’t get an appointment with the boy.” Zayn points out frustratingly. He has been trying to get some alone time with Niall but apparently the other boy is so stubborn. 

Louis nods understandingly. “Okay, here’s the plan,” he says. “You come over for dinner.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Yeah, he’s just dying to invite me.” He deadpans sarcastically. 

Louis shakes his head. “No. No. You come as my guest, dude. Okay,” he says. “You’re guaranteed to be at the table for the 20 minutes it takes to put away a roasted chicken. And you chew with your mouth closed, you chat up the parents. Do the perfect boyfriend thing and he’s going to be melting by Jell-O.” Louis adds. 

Zayn stares at Louis for a moment, contemplating on the idea before his face suddenly breaks into a smile. “Yeah, I can do that.” 

Louis nods in satisfaction and grins smugly at Zayn. “You missed me, didn’t you? Come on, a little bit.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Shut up, dude.” He says but he grins nonetheless.

**************

“Just wonderful, dear.” Bobby compliments his wife as he shoves the first bite of the food into his mouth.

Louis nods in agreement, just making a muffled sound because his mouth is filled with foods. He gives Zayn an eye signal for him to start acting like what they had planned earlier, while Niall is glaring at Zayn from across the table. 

“It’s an excellent food, Mrs. Horan.” Zayn says politely, looking at the woman at the other end of the table. 

Maura smiles at the boy and nods. “Thank you, Zayn,” she says. “I would have made more, had I known you were coming.” 

Louis raises his hand slightly. “My bad. I’m the one who invited him,” he says. “Sort of spur of the moment decision.” 

Zayn nods. “That’s right.” 

“Kinda rude.” Niall pipes in from his seat beside Louis. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Oh, please, like Harry’s not here every other night of the week.” 

“Oh, now, hush. There’s plenty of room for everyone.” Maura says, looking at both of his sons before she looks at Zayn again. “And this potato salad made a lovely addition to the meal, Zayn.” 

“Yes, the perfect accompaniment to chicken cordon bleu.” Bobby pipes in from the other end of the table. 

Zayn nods politely. “Thank you. I know that Niall loves it,” he says, looking at Niall. “It’s your favorite side dish, right?” 

“With sandwiches.” Niall retorts without even glancing at Zayn and everybody can feel the tense atmosphere at the dining table. 

And as usual, Bobby tries to save the situation. “Hurm, Niall, I hear they announced the roles for the play this year. Mrs. Taylor came in bustling with excitement. Lord knows why, his son can barely manage a two full sentences.” Bobby says. 

“Well, make sure you let us know when tickets go on sale.” Maura pipes in. “I have to get some from Grandma and PopPop.” 

Niall shakes his head. “Don’t bother. I’m not in it this year,” he replies quietly. 

Maura raises her eyebrows, slightly surprised. “Oh, why’s that?” She asks, gazing at her youngest son. 

“Didn’t audition.” Niall replies simply and shrugs. “Got a little consumed,” he says, lifting his eyes up to meet Zayn’s. “And uh, it doesn’t matter.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I mean, you can still probably be in it if you wanted to, right?” Zayn asks, trying to get Niall to talk to him. “One of the additional guitar players or something.” 

“It’s not High School Musical.” Niall deadpans. 

“Oh, okay, I guess I just figured there were some musical in every play.” Zayn says. “Seems that way, right?” He asks, trying to look for Louis to support him because by the look of it, Niall is still giving him the cold shoulder. 

Niall shakes his head. “Well, you obviously had not seen that many plays, probably because you’re too busy seeing all the rock concerts out there.” He deadpans, obviously still being mad at Zayn. 

Louis rolls his eyes and groans out loud. “Damn, Niall, get over it already,” he says. “How many times does my boy have to apologize to you?” 

Niall glares at Louis. “Oh your boy? Whatever.” 

“Apologize for what?” Bobby asks curiously, his eyes darting between the three boys at the dining table. 

“Perrie wasn’t even there.” Louis points out as he looks at Niall. “Hey, besides, it wasn’t even his idea to go. I’m the one..”

Bobby’s head perks up at the mention of the name. “Perrie? What about Perrie?” He asks. 

“Me and Zayn went to see her band at this coffee shop a couple of weeks ago.” Louis explains to his father. “Don’t worry. I left early so I could get to work.” He assures. “Responsible.” 

“So it was your idea?” Niall asks as he glares at Louis. 

“Yeah, it was his idea.” Zayn pipes in and he realizes that he shouldn’t open his mouth at the moment by the way Niall turns his head sharply and glares at Zayn. 

“It doesn’t make it better, Zayn.” Niall snaps. 

“Oh.” Zayn says. “Seriously?” 

“No! Because obviously it was like this, this, thing that needed to be discussed.” Niall points out angrily. “Which means it was important and it wasn’t just some spontaneous bad decision, but a premeditated bad decision.” 

Zayn sighs, knowing that part of it is true and it really was his fault at the first place. “Okay, obviously, you want to be mad about this.” He says as he looks at Niall. 

“I don’t want to be mad at you, Zayn! I _am_ mad at you! There is nothing voluntary about my feelings in this situation!” 

Louis rubs his hand over his temple and shakes his head. “You could volunteer to be cool. I mean, you don’t have to be such a chick about it.” He deadpans. 

Niall glares at Louis again. “Shut up, Louis.” 

Louis shakes his head. “You, shut up, Niall.”

“All right, enough.” Bobby pipes in, trying to avoid the argument between the kids. 

Niall huffs angrily and shakes his head. “I am so glad that you guys are friends again, cause not it’s like two idiots for the price of one.” He deadpans, glaring between Louis and Zayn. 

“Niall..” Maura scolds. 

“I’m trying, all right. I’m here.” Zayn says. “I was trying to work it out, make an effort,” he says, staring at Niall, trying to make his boyfriend to understand on what he is doing, trying to fix his mess. 

Niall shakes his head. “Well, I didn’t ask you to come here, so why don’t you just go make an effort with Perrie.” He says before he throws his napkin on the table, standing up and walks out from the dining room. 

Zayn slumps dejectedly on the chair and Louis looks at him sympathetically. “At least you got face time, you know.”

**************

Zayn almost bump into Niall when he steps out from his front door and Niall is about to knock on the door at the same. “Hey.” He greets, as they both staring at each other awkwardly.

“Hey.” Niall greets back, tighten his grip on his backpack’s strap as he tries to calm himself. “Well, uh, I’m helping Harry to study for finals so I should probably go,” he says, starting to make his way around Zayn and steps into the house. 

“Oh. You want to grab a bite after?” Zayn asks, still trying to get the alone time with Niall. Somehow, he feels a little envy that Harry gets to spend more time with Niall instead of him. He knows it’s his own fault and Harry is looking up at Niall as his brother, but still. 

Niall shrugs. “Well, we’re probably going to be going pretty late, so.. I don’t know,” he replies. 

Zayn nods, sighing slightly before he shakes his head. “Okay, um, well, if it’s gonna be like this, you might as well just break up with me,” he says bluntly, gazing at Niall. “I mean, I can’t tell the difference,” he tells the other boy. “You can’t keep punishing me like this, Niall. I mean, you can, but I don’t know how much more I can take.” 

Niall stares at Zayn and nods. “I know.” 

“It was one mistake.” Zayn points out. 

Niall nods again. “I know, but your one mistake made me realize all of my mistakes.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows and looks at Niall confusingly. “What do you mean?” 

Niall sighs, taking a deep breath before he starts to speak up again. “I gave up everything for this relationship, Zayn. I mean, did you know that I was going to do paper this year? Mrs. Yarborough wanted me to be Feature Editor and I also wanted to join Youth and Government and the play. I really _really_ wanted to do that.” 

“So why didn’t you?” 

“Because I didn’t think I could.” Niall admits truthfully. “I didn’t think I would have time to do all of those things and still maintain this, us.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “I don’t get it. I didn’t give up piano or..”

“Exactly.” Niall interjects quickly. “But do you really think we would be where we are right now if both of us were trying to maintain the insane schedule that you keep?” He asks, staring at Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head. “I..I don’t understand.”

Niall sighs. “One of us had to make a sacrifice, Zayn, and it was me,” he says. “I mean, think about it. I study in your garage until you’re done practicing and then we hang out. I only applied to colleges around you.” 

“I never asked you to do any of it.” Zayn points out. 

“I know you didn’t.” Niall says. “I did it all by myself because I thought it would be worth it. I never thought that I would wind up resenting you for it,” he admits. 

Zayn snorts. “Oh, but now you do,” he says. “That’s not my fault, Niall!” 

Niall shakes his head. “I never said it was,” he says. 

“But now you’re taking it out on me as if this is all something I asked you to do!” 

“You didn’t ask me, but you didn’t mind either.” Niall points out. “I mean, you must have noticed that 85% of our time together we spend in your garage, but it was easier for you, so guess you just didn’t bother to suggest anything else or at least..I don’t know, Zayn, thank me for it?”

Zayn stares at Niall’s face for a moment before he speaks up. “This isn’t about Perrie at all, is it?” 

“Is it though.” Niall says and nods. “Because that one thing that you did made me see the other side. The side that you tried to tell me when you wanted me to apply to Princeton, the ‘what if we don’t work out’ side,” he continues. “And as it stands now, Zayn, if we don’t work out, I have nothing and you have everything.” 

Zayn shakes his head, staring right into Niall’s eyes. “I wouldn’t have you,” he says and when Niall just stares at him silently, Zayn sighs. “Great. Great,” he mutters. 

“I should go study.” Niall says quietly. 

“Yeah, yeah, you do that.” Zayn replies, backing away from the door so that Niall can steps into the house and makes his way upstairs, leaving Zayn alone, and staring longingly at his retreating figure.

**************

“You’ve been sitting there for almost two hours.” Harry says as he spots Louis at the kitchen, reading a cartoon section on the newspaper. “You either read very slowly or you really like the cartoon.”

Louis grins and shrugs, not really surprise by Harry’s presence at the house anymore. Niall and Harry have become inseparable, practically like twins lately and Louis swears at some point he thinks Niall is favouring Harry as his brother compared to himself. “Please tell me you guys aren’t still studying,” he says. “It’s not healthy.” 

Harry shrugs. “We’re not studying so much as analysing and overanalysing and crying.” He says, grabbing one of the glasses and pour in the orange juice. “Well he’s doing the most of the crying, though he wouldn’t admit it. I’m all about being the shoulder.” 

Louis puts down the newspaper and turns his head to look at Harry. “They break up?” He asks curiously. 

Harry shakes his head. “Not yet. But I think they might,” he says. “Which means you and I should do something.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows as he gazes at the younger boy. “Oh, yeah, like what?” 

“I don’t know. Stop them.” Harry says with a shrug. 

“Good plan.” Louis deadpans. “Does it involve like a Mission Impossible hanging from the ceiling part or..”

“Maybe. Still working out the details.” Harry says. 

Louis raises his eyebrows at the younger boy. “Why do you care so much anyway? I mean, like yeah, it would suck for Niall and Zayn but they’d get over it eventually,” he points out. “And then Zayn would be able to do stuff again without having to ask his boyfriend for permission all the time.” 

Harry sighs. “I just want both of them to be happy,” he tells the older boy. “The truth is, they kind of give me hope. I mean, what they have is kinda what we all want, isn’t it?” He asks, staring at Louis. 

Louis shrugs. “I guess. Except for, I kinda like going solo, you know. Keep the options open.” 

“Don’t you want to find someone special eventually?” Harry asks, still staring at Louis. “Someone that makes you feel like..well, like you knew each other before you even met.” 

“Like in a past life?” Louis asks and Harry rolls his eyes at Louis’s cluelessness. “I’m totally down with reincarnation.” Louis continues. 

Harry shakes his head. “No. I mean, finding that one person that you click with, that you belong with,” he explains. “You find them and when you’re together it’s..” He trails off, still staring at Louis longingly. 

“It’s what?” 

Harry averts his eyes and shrugs. “It’s like Niall and Zayn.”

**************

Zayn almost stumble to his feet when he opens the garage door only to find Niall, standing in front of his eyes. It feels like a dejavu and Zayn is not sure how to feel about that. “Hey.” He says, opening the door wider and lead Niall to step into the garage.

Niall follows Zayn’s lead and they both stop at the middle of the room and faces each other again. “Hi.” Niall says. 

“So, are we gonna do this now? Break up.” Zayn blurts out. 

Niall shakes his head, staring at Zayn for a moment before he speaks. “Actually, I came by to say I’m sorry.” 

Zayn’s eyes go wide in surprise. He didn’t expect that earlier. “Oh. Oh.” 

“Yeah, you were right, Zayn. You didn’t ask me to do any of that stuff. I did it by myself, so now I have to undo it by myself.” Niall says. 

Zayn nods. “Okay,” he says. “Uh, what does that mean exactly?” 

“I need to get more of my life back.” Niall explains to the other boy. “See what happens with us when I do that,” he says. “I mean, there’s still an entire semester of senior year left, there’s a lot I can do, right?” 

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Zayn says and nods. 

Niall hums and nods, too. “But it’s gonna change things. You need to know that,” he tells the other boy. 

“Yeah, uh, what would it change?” Zayn asks. 

“It’s gonna mean less time.” Niall says before he moves to sit on the couch, feeling tired of standing. “You’d be shocked if you knew how much thought went into our free time together. You think it’s just been free. I have graphs in my room figuring how to maximize our together time,” he admits to Zayn. “I go to sleep two hours later every night than I used to.” 

Zayn takes a seat in front of Niall and shakes his head disbelievingly. “What…” 

Niall raises his eyebrows at Zayn. “You think I can actually get real studying done when you’re banging on that piano? Come on now,” he says, smiling at his boyfriend. 

Zayn shakes his head, smiling fondly at Niall. “I guess you just made it look too easy,” he says truthfully.

Niall nods, still smiling. “Yeah, I’m good at that,” he says. “But I’m over that phase now. And unless you can find more time in your schedule..”

“I can do that.” Zayn says firmly. 

“We’ll see.” 

Zayn nods, standing up before he moves to sit beside Niall on the couch. “I’m gonna do better, Niall. I swear. I’m gonna pick it up on my end. I’ll do graphs or whatever it takes because I don’t want to lose you,” he says as he stares right into Niall’s eyes. 

Niall blushes slightly as Zayn stares at him. “Me neither,” he says. “I should go study. Last final’s tomorrow,” he adds, already standing up and starting to make his way towards the door seeking himself out. 

“Yeah, you could study here, if you want.” Zayn offers and when Niall raises his eyebrows at him, Zayn starts to backtrack. “Or I could study wherever you want.” 

Niall chuckles slightly and shakes his head. “I’ll call you later,” he says, leaning over to kiss Zayn briefly before he walks out of the garage, feeling lighter than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p/s: tour has started and now I'm struggling to find time to write next chapters (after chapter 14) cause I was so busy watching the tour videos. lol. 
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> p/s/s: (26/4): 
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> apparently I received this message on 1DFF.net. 
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> Hey! We just wanted to let you know that you’ve been nominated for a One Direction Fan Fiction Under 50 Award! Make sure to tell all of your readers to go vote for you at
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> <https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1RrZFcplsB4WoFdKCLsHxqXRkhXx_f9xeXthfj1o4_8I/viewform>
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> You can also go visit our website: <http://under50awards.tumblr.com/> to pick up your “Nominee Banner.” Congrats and good luck!
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> -Hannah and Sarah from “Under 50 Awards”
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> vote for me! :D (though I'm not sure where is the end date for voting though.haha)


	12. You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from: **[One Direction - Little Things](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPeNN9S0Fg)** (yeay!)

Maura opens the oven, pulling out the tray while Bobby is grabbing some vegetables from the fridge. He turns around only to find his wife and looks at the food in her hands. “You trying to kill me slowly, Maura. I can smell that butter from here,” he tells his wife. 

Maura smiles at her husband and about to reply when Niall suddenly pops into the kitchen. The boy is grinning widely at his parents before he takes a seat on the kitchen’s stool, facing both of his parents. “I found it.” 

Bobby gazes at his youngest son and cocks his eyebrows. “My scarf? Oh, thank heavens. It’s pure cashmere you know,” he tells the boy. 

Niall laughs and shakes his head. “Oh, no, I definitely lost the scarf,” he tells his father. “But I did find the perfect music class,” he adds, still grinning happily. 

Maura raises her eyebrows, glancing at her husband briefly before she looks at Niall again. “Oh, I didn’t know you were looking for a music class,” she points out. 

Niall shrugs and nods. “Yeah, it’s been a while since I’m tuning up the guitar and I kinda miss it. School’s quite busy so I don’t really have time to play it. So, I’ve been searching on the internet all week,” he explains to his mother. “And I think this is the class. Jason, he’s the teacher, he’s worked with pretty much every successful guitar players that exists,” he adds excitedly. 

Maura smiles softly as she stares at her youngest son. “Well, you know how much we enjoy watching you play.” 

“Well, it’s not a performance, it’s just a class and I still have to audition to get in.” Niall explains. 

“Of course you’ll get in, you’re the best player at the school.” Bobby points out. 

Niall shakes his head at his father’s words. “Oh, no, but this class is of completely different calibre,” he tells his father. “And I have taken a little time off although last year I didn’t study all year and still managed to get my GPA back up to a 3.8, so I guess I’ll just have to do that with this,” he adds, hoping that it will work out. Because honestly, he misses playing with his guitar. It’s been a while since he proper picks up the instrument and plays it seriously like he used to do. 

Bobby smiles and nods. “Yup. That’s the Horan work ethic,” he says to his youngest son. 

Niall nods understandingly. “So, I’ll need a check,” he says as he looks at his parents. “For the deposit and um, the class is in Dublin, so if I get in, I won’t be home for dinners,” he adds. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “How many dinners?” He asks curiously. 

“Well, it is five nights a week.” Niall replies and shrugs casually. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Wait, wait, what kind of class is this?” He asks again. 

Niall rolls his eyes and shakes his head disbelievingly. “Dad, I just told you,” he points out, already standing up and turns around to leave. “I’m gonna go wash up,” he tells his parents before he retreats out of the kitchen. 

Once Niall leaves, Bobby turns to look at Maura and raises his eyebrows. “Five nights a week?”

**************

“Wow, this place is so world-renowned you’d think they’d be able to afford to decorate.” Zayn comments, his eyes darting around the place. 

Niall rolls his eyes, shaking his head in amusement and glances at his boyfriend. “Easy there, it’s not a design centre,” he says before they both stop walking in front of one of the rooms. “I think this is it.” Niall says as he reads the sign that shows ‘Studio B’, posted on the door. 

Zayn nods. “Cool,” he says simply. 

“Class should be out any second.” Niall says, glancing on his watch before he looks at Zayn again. 

Zayn nods again. “Cool.” 

Niall snorts and shakes his head. “You didn’t have to bring me here, you know,” he tells his boyfriend. 

Zayn gazes at Niall and raises his eyebrows. “Do you see me complaining?” He asks and when Niall shrugs, Zayn continues. “I told you, if this is your dream, then I’m here to support you,” he says. “Or at the very least, chauffeur you to it.” 

“My very own Stepford wife.” Niall teases, chuckling when Zayn’s cheeks show a tint of pink. “How sweet,” he adds, smiling sweetly at his boyfriend. 

Zayn shrugs, returning the smile while he is staring at Niall. “Just being the new and improved supportive boyfriend that you deserve,” he says. At that moment, the door of the room in front of them starts to open and a group of people start to come out from the room. 

“I’ll just be a minute.” Niall says, leaving Zayn to lean on the door’s edge alone before he enters the room. Once Niall is properly inside the room, he can see some of the people are still playing. He notices that all of them sound good, _very_ good and a little part of Niall is suddenly feeling self-conscious about his skills. He shakes his head, ignoring the feeling before he takes a step forward and approaches the older man. “Hi, Mr. Jason?” 

The older man turns around to look at Niall and nods. “Yes. Can I help you?” 

Niall nods. “Yeah, um, they sent me up here to talk to you,” he starts, a little bit intimidating by the older man’s serious expression. 

The man looks at Niall confusingly. “They?” 

“Well, the registration lady downstairs..” Niall explains. “Anyhow, I’ve heard so much about you and your class..my name’s Niall, by the way, and I know you have a winter program. And I was just wondering when I could audition, where to sign up, how to start.,” he starts to ramble. 

“Lots of questions, Niall by the way.” Mr. Jason points out. 

Niall smiles sheepishly before he clears his throat and starts to speak again. “I talk a lot when I’m excited,” he admits truthfully. 

Mr. Jason nods understandingly. “How many classes are you taking now?” He asks. 

“Well, I’m not actually taking, right now, but I have, for years.” 

“Where?” 

“At County.” Niall replies to the man. 

Mr. Jason frowns and gazes at Niall with the unkind expression of his face. “Is that your high school?” 

Niall chooses to ignore the way the man is looking at him and just nodding politely. “Yes, and they actually have a very strong program for a high school,” he tells the older man. 

“How old are you?” Mr. Jason asks again, crossing his arms over his chest and looks at Niall from head to toe, judging him apparently. 

“Seventeen.” Niall replies simply. He can feel the dread in the pit of his stomach as the older man is looking at him sceptically. 

“Right. Well, our winter session starts in two weeks,” he tells Niall. “It’s a professional class, most of our players are already working in some capacity. And they’ve had intensive training for many years.”

Niall nods understandingly. “Yes and I think that’s great, which is exactly why I’m gonna work so hard to catch up,” he says determinedly. 

Mr. Jason takes a step further closer to Niall and shakes his head. “Kid, you won’t make it,” he deadpans. 

Niall’s smile falters and he raises his eyebrows at the older man. “Excuse me?” 

“If you want to be the great players like these people are going to be, you need training from the beginning. It is difference learning to be amateur compared to learning to be professional at this. You’re four years too late.” 

Niall shakes his head. He is not going to bulge with his decision. “When are the auditions?” He asks, gritting his teeth quietly, feeling slightly mad at the man for judging him about his skills blindly. 

“Next Thursday.” 

Niall nods curtly. “Great. And uh, thank you for the constructive criticism, I appreciate it,” he tells the man. 

“You’re welcome.” Mr. Jason says before he turns around and continues with his task. Niall turns around too, striding quickly to get out of the room. 

Zayn, who has been listening to the conversation, shakes his head as he trails behind Niall. “I can’t believe you thanked that jackass,” he says. “Anyway, don’t stress. I’ve had professors like that at Juilliard, and their main purpose in life is just to break you down,” he adds. 

“I’m not stressing, Zayn.” Niall says flatly, not looking at his boyfriend at the moment because he feels too overwhelmed. 

“Yeah, and if he’s so freaking knowledgeable, why’s he teaching at some school in Dublin?” Zayn continues and when Niall glares at him, Zayn shakes his head. “I mean, not that, it’s not a bad school. It’s a great school, but..”

“You’re not helping, Zayn.” Niall deadpans, cutting Zayn off. 

Zayn sighs and nods. “I know and I’m sorry,” he apologizes. He just wants to soothe Niall since he knows the feeling so well but apparently his boyfriend doesn’t really need that at the moment. 

Niall shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. Just get me home. I need to start practicing. Like now.” He says, walking towards the parking lot in such determination.

**************

Bobby starts to walk down to the garage and shakes his head at the loud music. “Niall? Niall..” He calls out over the music that has been blasting on the stereo for a while. He finds his youngest son hunching over on the floor, playing with his guitar. “Niall!” Bobby calls out again, trying to get the boy’s attention to listen to him. 

Niall startles when he hears his dad’s loud voice and he looks up quickly. “Dad. You scared me!” He exclaims. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Sorry,” he apologizes, walking over to the stereo and turns off the music before he looks back at his son. “It’s freezing in here,” he points out. 

Niall shrugs and shakes his head. “Oh, I’m actually quite warm,” he tells his father. 

Bobby nods understandingly. He knows Niall really has the tendency to feel quite warm especially when he is doing something. “Well, dinner is ready, so..” 

Niall shakes his head. “I’m not eating,” he says quickly. 

Bobby raises his eyebrows in surprise. “What?”

“Eating takes time, I need time to practice more, dad.” Niall explains to his father. “No worries, I’m getting plenty of fluids here,” he says as he points at the water bottles nearby. There are more than four bottles on the floor and two of them are already empty. 

Bobby stares at his son and shakes his head. “That’s ridiculous. We don’t take too much time eating dinner,” he says. 

Niall snorts. “Yes, we do,” he points out. He knows really well how dinner time can sometimes be dragged into a whole lot conversations especially when Louis starts to talk. 

Bobby moves closer to Niall and stares at his son’s hunched figure. His eyes widen quickly when he notices Niall’s fingers on the string. “My God, you’re bleeding,” he says, concern is clearly shown in his tone. “Let me see your hand,” he demands, trying to grab his son’s hand. 

Niall scoots further away from his father and shakes his head. “Dad, this is what happens when you haven’t been on point for a while. It’s fine,” he tells his father. 

Bobby huffs and shakes his head. “No, no, it’s not fine. You are bleeding. You’re starving. It is freezing,” he deadpans, staring at his son disbelievingly. “Niall, what are you doing to yourself?” 

“This is what professionals do.” Niall replies simply. “You’re just gonna have to get used to it,” he adds. 

Bobby crosses his arms over his chest as he looks at Niall. “I refuse to get use to watching my son abuse himself,” he points out. 

“Well, then don’t watch.” Niall snaps, glaring at his father. “Dad, you didn’t see these kids. They were all good. They all do this 8 hours a day, _every_ day to get to the level that they want. This is what I have to do to compete if I want to get into this class,” he explains hoping that his father will understand. 

“Oh, this isn’t competing.” Bobby points out. “This is you trying to squeeze two years’ worth of missed music classes into a week of rehearsal in our sub-zero garage. That’s like trying to train for a marathon a week before the run,” he says. “When I was an intern, you know what we used to call the influx of injured patients who did that? Morons.” 

“Gee, dad, thanks for the support.” Niall deadpans sarcastically. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Well, forgive me but what exactly am I supposed to be supporting here?” 

“Um, how about my dream?” Niall points out, sarcasm laced heavily in his tone. 

Bobby rolls his eyes. “So suddenly this is your dream?” 

Niall looks at his father and raises his eyebrows. “Not suddenly. I’ve wanted to be a musician ever since I was a little boy.” 

“Yeah, you also wanted to a police and an astronaut and I believe a carrot at one point.” Bobby points out. 

Niall huffs, starting to feel irritating at his father’s action. “You know what? Zayn practices piano almost ten hours a day every day. He’s completely focused to the exclusion of pretty much everything else all year. And you know what, his dad found a way to support him,” he says to his father. “Even built him a studio.” 

“And what is your point?” 

“Why is it that some people are allowed completely OCD about their ambitions and not me?” Niall asks. “My passion for guitar and music is exactly the same.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “No, it isn’t,” he deadpans. “This is you, making a rash decision about your future at the eleventh hour simply because you are scared,” he points out knowingly. “What you’re exhibiting here is panic, not passion.” 

Niall rolls his eyes at his father’s words. “You’re the one who told me that I could do whatever I wanted if I just worked hard enough,” he points out. “Well, I want this,” he adds firmly. 

“Why? Because somebody told you that you can’t have it?”

Niall glares at his father briefly before he shakes his head. “You can shut the door on your way out,” he says, already looking down to focus on his guitar again. “You’re letting in the cold,” he says bitterly.

**************

“Am I allowed to say break a leg?” Zayn asks over the phone. He smiles when he hears Niall’s laugh at the other end of the phone. 

Niall shakes his head, though he knows Zayn can’t see him over the phone. “Um, that’s probably not a good idea,” he says, glancing at his dodgy knee. 

Zayn laughs and shakes his head. “Now, listen to me,” he says. “You’re as talented, if not more, than any of those kids. And you’re gonna be great today,” he adds, hoping that it can lift up Niall’s spirit after those hours that his boyfriend had spent practicing his guitar playing. 

Niall’s face breaks into a large smile. “Thank you,” he says happily. If only Zayn is standing in front of him right now, he’ll give his boyfriend a kiss for being so sweet. 

“You know, if I get in my car right now, I can probably make it in time..” Zayn says. He wanted to go with Niall that morning but his boyfriend was so adamant on going by himself because apparently Zayn needs to spend his time on his piano practice too. And Zayn reluctantly agreed when Niall gave him those big blue eyes and insisted that he can go by himself. Damn those eyes. 

“No, that’s okay,” Niall says, knowing full well that if he lets Zayn to come to see him, he’ll be more nervous. “I’ll call you after, okay?”

**************

Niall enters the building nervously, glancing around as he makes his way to the front desk. He tightens the grip on his guitar case as soon as he reaches the desk. “Hi, is this where I sign in?” He asks the lady at the desk and the lady nods at him. “Here you are. And here’s an application,” the lady says, giving Niall an empty form to fill in. “Make sure to list every class you’ve taken. Including teachers and contact information,” she adds. 

Niall nods quietly, listening to the instruction by the lady. “Cool..thanks,” he says, turning around to find the nearest place for him to fill in the form. He finds a seat nearby the room that he’ll be auditioning and starts to fill up the form. He is half way done when he hears the voice of Mr. Jason. 

“Okay, everyone, we’re going to start on time today, so we’re not here until four in the morning.” Mr. Jason says to the other students at the entrance of the room. “I’m gonna keep it simple, and go down the list alphabetically,” he says before starts to call for the names. The next thing Niall knows, the older man is calling for his name. “Niall Horan?” 

Niall glances up from his form and turns his head to look at the older man. He starts to stand up and gulps nervously. “Uh, I actually just got here,” he says as he looks around. Apparently everyone is already prepared with their guitars, all tuning, unlike him. “I haven’t really had a chance to tune up the string or anything yet,” he adds. 

Mr. Jason crosses his arms over his chest, looking unimpressively at Niall before he looks back at the flipchart in his hand. “Moving on..”

Niall feels a pit in his stomach and starts to panic, knowing that the older man is not impressed with his explanation earlier. Quickly, Niall shakes his head. “That’s okay, I’m ready,” he says, looking at the older man in determination.

**************

Zayn shifts slightly before he grabs one of the cookies from the plate on the table and looks at Niall. “Do you want one?” He asks, offering the cookies to his boyfriend. 

Niall shakes his head. “No, I’m good,” he replies distractedly, playing around with his pen instead of doing homework like they are supposed to do at the moment. 

Zayn nods and before he can comment on Niall’s lack of appetite lately, the phone starts to ring. Zayn looks at his boyfriend, suddenly understand on what is happening when Niall’s head perks up in hopefulness. Apparently, when Niall’s dad pick up the phone, the phone call is meant for him instead of Niall. Zayn gazes at his boyfriend. “Have they..uh.,” he trails off, not sure on how to bring up the subject but he knows Niall understands.

Niall looks down at his book and shakes his head. “Nope,” he says sullenly. He has been waiting for the call for a few days yet he hears nothing and it makes him feels slightly disappointed. 

“Ah, I’m sure you got in.” Zayn assures. 

Niall glances up to look at his boyfriend and raises his eyebrows. “Are you, really?” He asks sceptically.

Zayn shrugs. “No, but I was just doing the whole supporting boyfriend thing,” he admits truthfully.

Niall rolls his eyes at Zayn. “That’s not the point, Zayn, that’s patronizing,” he points out. “How would you like it if I was like, ‘Oh, Zayn, I’m sure you got into Julliard’?” 

“Well, considering I haven’t even gotten an audition yet,” Zayn replies simply. 

Niall gazes at his boyfriend and sighs. “Never mind,” he says. He stands up from his seat and walks towards the fridge, his back to Zayn and from the slump on his shoulder, Zayn knows that Niall is upset. 

Zayn puts down his pen on the table and shakes his head. “Okay, come on, Niall, you gotta lighten up,” he says. “I was kidding.” 

Niall grabs the milk from the fridge before he turns around to look at Zayn. “I can’t lighten up. You just, you don’t get it,” he points out. 

Zayn nods. “Okay, so explain it to me,” he demands, staring at his boyfriend, giving the boy his full attention. 

Niall takes a deep breath before he starts to speak. “Okay. So imagine tomorrow you woke up with carpal tunnel syndrome and you couldn’t play piano anymore. What would you do?” He asks rhetorically, looking at Zayn. “You would freak out, okay? That is exactly what is happening to me right now. I took two years off from guitar and all of a sudden, I’m too amateur, too less skill and even my fingers can’t grip the string. I’m never gonna be a professional guitar player.” 

“Okay.” Zayn says simply after Niall finishes. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Okay? That’s all you got?” He asks curiously. He expects Zayn to say more than that but he is wrong apparently. 

Zayn nods again as he looks at Niall. “Okay, so you’re not going to be a professional guitar player,” he repeats on his boyfriend’s words. 

“So, what am I going to be?” Niall asks, gazing at his boyfriend, waiting for the answer. 

“Uh, I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Zayn replies. 

Niall shakes his head, disagreeing with his boyfriend. “You don’t know that, Zayn. You have no idea what this is like,” he tells the other boy. “Okay, you were born this genius prodigy child, who took a year off piano and still managed to get into Juilliard summer program. You didn’t have to put ‘Undeclared’ on your college applications. It’s not like that for most people. It’s much harder.”

Zayn nods understandingly. “Yeah, you’re right. For most people, it probably is, but not for you,” he points out. “If I couldn’t play piano any more, it would be a big problem, because let’s face it, I suck at everything else, but not you,” he adds. Zayn starts to stand up from the chair and walking closer towards Niall. “You’re great at everything you do,” he says, pulling Niall’s body into his arms once he reaches the smaller boy. Niall sags into Zayn’s embrace and lays his head on the crook of Zayn’s neck, seeking for comfort. Zayn starts to rub his hand on Niall’s back and leaving small kisses on top of Niall’s head before he speaks up again. “You could be President if you wanted.”

“Oh, please.” Niall mumbles, blushing slightly at Zayn’s words. 

Zayn smiles and shakes his head, completely amused by the fact that Niall will turn into a shy person when people complimenting him. It’s endearing, really. “No, I’m serious. If somebody had talked to me the way that guy Jason had talked to you, I’d be rolling on the floor in a fetal position,” he admits sincerely. “But not you, you took what he said. You thanked him for it, and you worked harder because of it. You’re the most driven person I’ve ever seen,” he points out. “It’s who you are. It’s what defines you.” 

Niall pulls away slightly from the embrace and tilts his head up to look at Zayn’s. “I just with I’d never stopped playing, you know? I really wish that,” he says regretfully.

**************

Louis plops down besides Niall on the couch and grabs the remote from Niall’s hand before he changes the channel on the television. “Hey, I was watching that.” Niall whines, looking at his brother in annoyance. 

Louis shrugs, gripping the remote tightly, not wanting for Niall to take it from him. “Yeah, well, you get home earlier than I do everyday so why don’t you watch what you want to watch then,” he tells his brother. 

Niall huffs before he shifts and again, trying to grab the remote from Louis’s grip. “Well, you have a job so why don’t you go get yourself an apartment and watch what you wanna watch there,” he quips back. He whoops a little when he finally gets the remote control from Louis as he tickles Louis’s waist, making the older boy yelps in surprise and drops the remote. 

“Niall? It’s for you.” Niall turns his head quickly when he hears his father’s voice behind him. He glances down at the phone in his father’s hand and quickly takes it from his father. He moves away from the living room before he starts to speak to the receiver. “Hello,” he says.

Louis watches as Niall nods quietly as the younger boy listens to the phone and part of him is anxious about the news too. He knows how Niall is looking forward to hear the good news about his audition and it’s been a while since Louis have seen his younger brother is really passionate about his dream. 

“Right. Okay. Thank you.” Niall says, ending the call before he turns around only to get three pair of curious eyes, looking at him, waiting for the news. “I didn’t get in,” he tells his family. “It’s fine, though. Really, um, I’m not surprised,” he adds, trying to force a smile but he knows that it comes out more like a grimace. He puts down the phone on the table before he looks at his family again. “I’ll just be in my room,” he tells his family quietly, trying not to lose his cool in front of them before he retreats out of the living room. 

Louis watches Niall leaves, feeling slightly heartbroken for his brother. Then he looks at both of his parents. “You think I should go talk to him? I’m all about failure,” he asks for their opinions. 

Maura shakes her head. “Oh, just let him be for a while,” she replies.

**************

“My dad is not going to be home till late, which means take out.” Zayn says, taking his spot beside Niall on the couch. He wraps his arm around Niall and brings his boyfriend closer to him. He smiles when he feels Niall starts to snuggle closer to him. “Always an extremely positive turn of events in the Malik household,” he adds, gazing at Niall. “What do you feel like, Chinese or Thai?” 

Niall tilts his head up and smiles slightly at Zayn. “How long until we talk about this?” He asks, shaking his head amusingly at his boyfriend. 

“You don’t like Thai?” Zayn asks, still trying to play dumb. But when Niall raises his eyebrows at him, Zayn sighs in defeat. “Okay, uh, you didn’t get into your class, you’re pissed, it sucks, if you want to talk about it, I’m more than here for you, but I’ll wait until you bring it up if you want to bring it up, that’s fine too,” he tells his boyfriend. 

Niall contemplates on Zayn’s words for a moment before he finally nods. “Yeah, I don’t wanna bring it up yet,” he says and sighs heavily. 

Zayn nods. “See, cool,” he says. “By the way, you see how I’m being right now. This is exactly how I want you to be when I don’t get into Juilliard so take notes now,” he adds. 

Niall chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m not worried about you, Zayn,” he tells his boyfriend sincerely. 

“Yeah, but you can’t know that.” Zayn points out, pulling Niall’s body closer to him. He knows that what Niall needs at the moment is comfort and he is so willingly wanting to give his boyfriend that comfort that the he is looking for. “So, Chinese or Thai?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p/s: stuck at chapter 15 (still haven't start on that chapter). somebody restores back my Ziall feels por favor! haha


	13. Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from **[Jason Mraz& Colbie Caillat - Lucky](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acvIVA9-FMQ)**

Niall hears the giggles before the front door is opened. He turns his head from the television screen to look at the door in curiosity. Few seconds later, the door is opened, revealing a giggly Louis with a guy that Niall haven’t seen before. 

Louis grins at the guy, before turning his head to look at the living room. “That’s my punk brother I was telling you about,” he tells the guy as soon as he spots Niall on the couch. 

Niall snorts and rolls his eyes. Typical Louis. “I have a name, Louis.” 

The guy glances between both of them, smiling. “Hi, I’m Julian.” The guy says, introducing himself as he smiles at Niall. 

Niall nods and smiles politely. “Hi.” 

“Don’t worry, he brags about you all the time, Niall.” Julian says, leaning closer towards Louis, as they are standing side by side. 

Niall is about to reply when suddenly a familiar curls is entering the living room. 

“What about Ben Kweller?” Harry asks, looking at Niall as he walks closer towards the couch. He doesn’t notice Louis and Julian yet. “If you’re making a happy mix, he’s.,” he continues before he abruptly stops walking when he sees Louis and the other guy. “Oh. Sorry.” 

Louis shakes his head, smiling at Julian. “Uh, this is Harry, my brother’s friend,” he explains. 

Harry smile, a little too be honest, but he has been taught to be polite, despite being somehow jealous as he looks at the intertwined hands between those two guys. “Hi.” 

Julian nods, returning the smile to Harry, “Hi.” 

Louis wraps his arm around the guy, pulling him closer towards his body. “We’re just gonna get a quick bite to eat,” he tells both Niall and Harry. “I need to get my wallet,” he adds. Then, he looks at Julian. “Two secs,” he says before he dashes to the upstairs, collecting his wallet in his room. 

Harry nods, not really knowing what to say once Louis leaves three of them alone. Niall apparently is too busy flicking through the television channels to entertain Julian. “I’m sorry. What was your name?” Harry asks, looking at the guy who is now standing near the living room’s wall, looking at the pictures hanging on there. 

The guy turns around to face Harry. “Julian.” 

Harry nods. “Julian, okay. That’s a good name,” he says. 

Julian beams at Harry’s words. “Thanks.” 

“Better than Kent.” Harry adds suddenly. “I thought your name might be Kent.” 

Julian shakes his head. “No. Julian.” 

Harry nods again. “That’s good,” he says. This is getting awkward, he thinks to himself. 

Harry’s dilemma on whether he wants to keep talking to the guy or not suddenly resolve when Louis appears in front of them again. “Ready to go?” 

Harry watches as the guy, Julian smiles lovingly at Louis. “Definitely,” he says to Louis before he looks at Harry and Niall again. “Nice meeting you guys.” 

Niall nods and smiles. “Nice to meet you,” he says politely. After all, that’s what his mother teaches him since he was a kid. Always be polite and nice to people. 

Once both Louis and Julian has stepped out of the house, Niall turns to look at Harry sympathetically. “Okay, breathe,” he tells the younger boy when Harry’s eyes seem not to leave the back of the front door. 

Harry snaps out of his trance, turning his head to look at Niall. “What? I’m fine.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows at the younger boy. He knows Harry is not fine. “Really? Because they’re gone now. You can cry, scream punch the wall…” 

Harry snorts and shakes his head. “So, your brother has a weakness for perfect-looking person,” he points out, remembering on how perfect Julian was. The guy looks _way_ better than him and Harry knows that. “Do I look like I care? Because I don’t.” 

Niall rolls his eyes he knows that he needs to let the subject slides off at the moment by the way Harry is brushing him off. “Then you can help me out with my maths,”, he says to Harry, looking at the younger boy hopefully. After all, Harry is intelligent and that’s why he manages to get a year in advance at school, so Niall is not really feeling the gap and it makes their bond tighter. 

“No, I can’t.” Harry says. “We’re not all second semester seniors, you know,” he points out, looking at Niall. 

Niall nods and shrugs. “Which by the way is even better than you think,” he tells the younger boy. “The teacher assigns you homework and you just look at them like ‘wow, it’s really cute that you think I’m actually gonna do that’,” he jokes. He smiles to himself when Harry lets out a chuckle. At least he can wipes off the sad look on Harry’s face earlier. 

They both fall into silence for a moments. Niall is still watching the football game on the television and Harry starts to read the book that he brought with him earlier. 

“College applications are in. Zayn’s audition tape goes in tomorrow.” Niall suddenly says, breaking the silence. 

Harry looks up from his lap and closes his book. “Oh my god, the tape is done?” He asks Niall, staring at the other boy to wait for the answer. He knows how private Zayn is with his audition tape and Harry doesn’t mind at all that Zayn doesn’t tell him anything about it. At the end of the day, he’ll know about it from Niall, so it’s a win-win situation for all of them. 

Niall nods. “Yes, the tape is done,” he replies to Harry. “As of tomorrow, my nightmare is officially over. Zayn’s probably just hanging out, relaxing, big ole smile on his face,” he says, sighing in relief. He feels a little bit guilty for his comment but truthfully, he thinks he deserves to be a little bit selfish too. He really wants Zayn spends his free time on him now. 

“Wow, relaxed Zayn. I wonder what that looks like.” Harry deadpans.

**************

“This isn’t helping.” Zayn whines as he looks at bunches of CD that are scattered on the table. 

Yasir furrows his eyebrows in confusion as he grabs two CDs from the table. “I’m sorry, Zayn, but I just don’t see the difference.” he says, his eyes darting between both CDs in his hand. 

Zayn rolls his eyes at his clueless father. “Well, it’s the order of the tracks,” he points out. “If I pick Bach, it says I’m ambitious. If I pick Chopin, it says I’m traditional,” he tells his father. 

Yasir shakes his head, gazing amusingly at his eldest son. “Which one says you’re OCD?” 

Zayn snorts, ignoring his father’s remark. “Tomorrow, this will all be over,” he tells his father. “I got the music ready for this thing. I’m not gonna blow it on the cover. Presentation counts. Which reminds me, how do you like my choice of font?” he asks, showing one of the CDs in front of his father, earning another rolling eyes from the older man.

**************

Niall sees Zayn’s car once he closes his front door and he smiles excitedly. He can’t wait to see his boyfriend. He jogs his way to Zayn’s car, trying his best not to trip on the snow. Once he reaches the car, he groans when the door is locked from the inside. He releases the door’s handle, only for Zayn to drive forward a couple of steps, and the motion repeats for two more times before Niall rolls his eyes. “Very mature, Zayn,” he says once he finally sitting inside the car. His annoyance at Zayn’s not- so-funny-joke vanishes when Zayn is looking at him, smiling so big that Niall wonders whether his face hurts from smiling that wide. “So, did you send your stuff yet?” He asks, gazing at his boyfriend. 

“What?” Zayn shouts over the loud music that is blaring inside the car. 

Niall shakes his head. “I said did you send your audition tape yet?” He asks again, this time as loud as he could. 

Zayn leans forward, reaching for the radio and turning the volume down. Then, he looks back at Niall. “Yeah. Yeah, I made it to the pickup booth right as the guy was pulling away. I gave him a burrito as a tip. Bean and cheese,” he tells Niall, smiling brightly. Then, suddenly his smile falters when he remembers something. “Do you realize that I’m taking ceramics right now? That’s what it’s come down to. My academic experience consists of rubbing wet clay in an apron with girls in clogs,” he points out, pouting at Niall, trying to look miserable as he can. 

Niall laughs and shakes his head. “It’s called a smock and your point is?” He asks curiously. 

Zayn turns his head to stare at the road ahead of them, as they are stopping at the junction. “There are two things I can do here. I can turn right, we can head into the world of the high school, a world of conformity and expectation. A world where Dr. Billawalla’s class offers fascinating insight in the world of physics,” he says before he continues. “Or I can turn left.”

Niall looks at Zayn in confusion. “What’s left?” 

Zayn turns to look at Niall. “Left is freedom and opportunity. Left is a chance for you and me to spend the next how many hours, doing whatever we want, however we want, wherever we want,” he says, grinning at Niall cheekily, hoping that his boyfriend understands what he is implying at the moment. 

Niall’s eyes go wide before he shakes his head in amusement, staring at his boyfriend. “Are you saying we should ditch?” he asks. The only answer he gets is by the slight shrug from Zayn. Niall grins. “Interesting,” he says. “Will there be pancakes involved?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at Zayn. 

Zayn laughs and nods. “The bigger the better,” he replies. “Tick tock, Horan.” 

Niall hums, scratching his chin, trying to look like he is thinking about Zayn’s idea even though they both know it’s a pretty done deal at the moment. “I say we go for it,” he tells Zayn with a big smile. 

Zayn beams, leaning closer to peck Niall briefly on the lips before he pulls away, concentrating on the road again. “That’s my boy.”

**************

“Gotcha something.” Niall says to Zayn, throwing a hat to his boyfriend once he reaches the booth after he comes back from the loo. 

Zayn catches the hat and reads on the words that are stamped on it. “To all you virgins, thanks for nothing,” he reads out loud. 

Niall chuckles and nods. “Pretty good, right? I love this place,” he says, glancing around the small café. 

“Yeah, it’s great. Maybe I can get some bacon to go with my sausage.” Zayn deadpans. “Wonder if there’s any part of the pig they don’t serve here.” 

Niall rolls his eyes fondly at Zayn, admiring his boyfriend’s playful sarcasm. “Well, it’s not like we can go to McDonalds,” he points out, gazing at his boyfriend’s face. “We’re outlaws, baby, on the run,” he adds cheekily. “You want to be Butch or Sundance?” 

“Did you just call me baby?” Zayn asks, raising his eyebrows at Niall with a smirk. 

Niall flusters slightly, scrunching his nose and nods. “Yeah, that doesn’t really work for us, does it?” he asks and Zayn shakes his head, making Niall laughs and punches his boyfriend’s arm playfully. “So, what else? What’d you find?” Niall asks, pointing at the paper in front of Zayn. 

Zayn shrugs before he flips on the papers. “Uh, pickings are pretty slim. We’ve got a blood drive,” he tells Niall. “Oh, yard sale.” 

Niall nods, contemplating on the choices. “Well, we could….,” he says, pausing before he shakes his head. “no, too boring. Or….,” he says and pauses again. “no, that’s illegal.” 

“See, it’s not that easy, is it?” Zayn points out, staring at the boy in front of him. 

Niall nods, agreeing with his boyfriend. “Maybe we need backup,” he says, raising his eyebrows at Zayn with a cheeky grin on his face.

**************

Harry hums quietly as he enters the loo, glancing on the mirror briefly before he starts to make his way to the stall. He is walking casually before suddenly he is grabbed by someone from one of the stalls. He tries to wriggle his arm out of the person’s grip and turns around when he finally got out. “Niall?” 

Niall quickly closes the door and puts his pointy fingers on his lips, looking at Harry. “Sshh.” 

Harry stares at Niall, dumbfounded. “I’m uncomfortable,” he deadpans. 

Niall ignores Harry’s remarks, waving his arms, trying to get Harry to listen to him.“Okay, remember how you told me, you never get to have any fun?” He asks quickly, in one breath. 

“No.” 

“That your life is just a boring series of boring events punctuated by an occasional burst of unnecessary drama or a fight in gym class?” Niall continues, obviously not listening to Harry’s “No.” earlier. “Well, that is all about to change, Harry.” Niall says, staring at Harry’s face. “I’m kidnapping you.” 

Harry’s eyes go wide in surprise. “You’re what?” 

Niall grins excitedly. “Yeah, we’re gonna go paint the town, blow off a little steam,” he tells the younger boy. 

Harry shakes his head. “But..but I have a quiz in History.” 

“So? You can make it up.” Niall points out. 

Harry shakes his head again. “No, Mr. Grinali doesn’t do makeups and the quizzes are like 50% of the grade so I’m not just gonna..”

Niall rolls his eyes, does not waiting for Harry to finish before he starts to pulls Harry’s hand and opens the stall’s door at once. “Come on, let’s get your stuff,” he says, dragging Harry along with him. 

“Niall.” Harry whines. “I never got to pee!”

**************

“We could go bowling?” Harry pipes in from the backseat, as they are discussing on what to do next. 

“Pass.” Niall replies. 

“What about the railroad museum?” Harry asks. 

Zayn shakes his head and looks through the rear-view mirror. “Please take off that hat. You’re scaring me,” he tells his younger brother. 

Harry chuckles and takes off the hat. “Sorry.” 

Niall shakes his head fondly at both of them before his eyes are on the road again. He looks at Zayn in confusion when he realizes that his boyfriend is making a turn on the other route. “What are you doing? We can’t go down here,” he tells his boyfriend. “Someone might see us.” 

Zayn glances between the road and Niall, shrugging slightly. “Well, where else are we gonna go? Already been everywhere in this town twice,” he points out. 

Harry ignores both of them, looking at the view from the windows. “What is that?” He asks, looking at the old man on roadside, sculpting a very ugly deer. 

Zayn sighs, shaking his head. “Yeah, this sucks. If we were in London, we could go down to many places,” he whines. 

Niall rolls his eyes, crossing his arms on his chest defiantly. “Well, we’re not, so shut up.” 

“Go to the park. Check out all of the freaks.” Zayn continues, ignoring Niall’s remark. 

“You could always take me back to school.” Harry singsongs from the backseat. 

“No!” Niall and Zayn says at the same time. 

Harry rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “So happy to be kidnapped by the Bickersons,” he deadpans sarcastically. 

“He’s the one who’s fighting.” Niall points out, glaring at Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head, sighing loudly. “I’m not fighting, all right? I’m just frustrated,” he says. “It’s almost noon and we’re still in the freaking car.” 

Harry sighs quietly, trying to figure out on how he could escape from the bickering couples. Then, an idea pops up inside his head. “I know who would know what do today.”

**************

Louis rubs the heels of his palms on his eyes tiredly as he hears the inbox alerts on his computer. He clicks on the email, waiting for it to load and few seconds later, an image of Niall and Zayn appears on the screen. He is about to reply to ask both of the younger boys why they are not at the school at the moment when suddenly his manager is coming towards him, with Harry in tow. 

Harry tries his best to express his sad expression as he reaches Louis’s desk with Louis’s manager is standing nearby. “It’s Mr. Jingles. There’s been a terrible accident,” he tells Louis, in the saddest voice that he could ever muster at the moment. “I was backing out of your driveway and Artic Monkeys came on so I was looking down at the radio and I just..,” he trails off, wiping away the imaginary tears, hoping that Louis’s manager won’t really see his face at the moment. “I never even saw him. I am so sorry.” 

Louis, who was at first at loss, suddenly catching up on what is going on at the moment. And so he plays along with it. “Oh my God,” he says with a gasp of surprise, dramatically of course. 

“If you want to take some personal time, I can get Lena to cover for you.” Louis’s manager pipes in, his tone is sympathetic. 

Louis glances at his manager before he looks at Harry’s face. The younger boy is begging for him to agree and Louis slowly nods. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, that’d be great,” he says, before he starts to shut down his computer. “Thank you, Mr. Perch. You are a stand-up guy,” he adds before he grabs his coat, shaking his manager’s hand. Then, he starts to pull Harry with him, walking out of the office. 

“Mr. Jingles?” Louis asks with a grin on his face once both he and Harry step into the elevator, away from his office. 

Harry’s face flushes in embarrassment before he shakes his head. “That was the first name that came out of my mind at that moment,” he explains to the older guy. 

Louis laughs, pinching Harry’s cheek briefly. “It’s cute,” he points out. And Harry, he swears his cheeks are hot because of the lack of air conditioning in the elevator, not because of Louis.

**************

“I wish I was older. That way we could actually be doing something fun like going to a bar and playing pool.” Zayn says as they all stroll along on the snow’s trail. 

“I thought you guys went to a bar to see Perrie play.” Niall points out. 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “First of all, it wasn’t a bar. It was a coffee house,” he tells his boyfriend, shaking his head. “Second of all, she wasn’t there. Okay?” 

Niall shrugs. “Thanks for stating that fact,” he deadpans. 

Harry groans loudly. “Guys, you’re giving me a migraine.” 

Louis on the other end of the group, nods. “Amen to that,” he says, agreeing with Harry. “Hey, don’t get me wrong, all right? I love the madness, it’s just your problem is you have no method to your madness,” he points out, looking at Zayn, Niall and Harry. “Truancy is serious business. It’s not for amateurs, little grasshoppers.” 

“Well, I don’t see you coming up with any great ideas, like rabbit hunting?” Zayn deadpans sarcastically. 

Louis rolls his eyes, ignoring Zayn’s sarcasm remark as usual. “Don’t mock me, gun play. Cause I also came up with poker, wurleyball, polar bear. You guys shot all that down,” he points out accusingly. 

Niall snorts, shaking his head at his bother. “I’m not gonna jump into a lake when it’s 30 degrees out, Louis.” 

Louis shrugs before he starts to look at his watch. “Alright, it’s 3:30. I got exactly 2 hours until I pick up Julian.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Isn’t hooking up with a co-worker like illegal?” He asks, looking at Louis. 

Louis laughs. “Look, I don’t know what you just said, man,” he says, brushing off Zayn’s question. 

“We could go ice fishing.” Harry pipes in, trying to change the subject because honestly, hearing Julian’s name makes him feel something in the pit of his stomach. 

“I like that idea.” Louis nods, agreeing with Harry. 

Zayn hums before he realizes something is missing from his pocket. “I’m going to get my mobile from the car,” he says before he takes off to the opposite side. 

Once Zayn leaves, the three of them continue to walk along the snow trail silently. “My mum and I used to go all the time when I was little.” Harry says suddenly, breaking the silence. “There’s all these lakes near our holiday house and we always spend our time together there. Well, Zayn was there too but he preferred to sleep and hated the cold. And my mum, she used to make this, uh, hot chocolate with cinnamon. It was the best,” he rambles on. 

Louis smiles softly at Harry. “You must miss your mum, huh?” 

Harry hums and nods. “A lot,” he replies simply. He wonders why he is admitting this to Louis and even Niall at the moment. He thinks it’s because Zayn is not around. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell his brother but he doesn’t want his brother to think that he is still hanging on his mum’s death when he is not. He just misses her sometimes, that’s all. And he knows Zayn misses their mum too, so he doesn’t want to burden his brother with his feeling too. 

Louis stares at Harry’s figure as the younger boy is looking at his shoes instead of facing them at the moment. “Are you okay? It’s okay to be sad sometimes, you know?” 

Harry lifts up his face to look at Louis and shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I just figured I didn’t want to bum everyone out.” 

Louis shakes his head before he walks closer towards Harry and pulling the boy into his arms, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry.” 

Harry melts into the embrace for a moment before his breathe starts to hitch and he can feel the stings in his eyes. He pulls away quickly and shakes his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he says before he walks away. 

Niall watches Harry walks away in worried and starts to jog behind the younger boy. “Harry!”

**************

“Harry, let me in!” Niall shouts through the closed door. Apparently Harry had locked the toilet’s door, making Niall to knock on it repeatedly. 

“I’m fine, Niall.” Harry says from behind the door. 

“You’re not fine! You’re crying!” Niall points out. “I can hear you sniffling from out here. I’m gonna stay out here until you let me in,” he adds, knowing that Harry would give in and lets him in. Niall mentally congratulates himself when not more than a second later, the door is opened and Niall quickly steps in. “Oh my god, this place is disgusting,” he comments as he looks around the dirty toilet. 

“Try not to touch anything.” Harry says quietly, facing the wall instead of Niall. 

Niall watches Harry, or more accurately Harry’s back with a frown. “Are you okay?” He asks gently. 

Harry shakes his head. “No! I’m a horrible, evil, sick person who doesn’t deserve to be loved,” he says miserably. 

Niall snorts. Harry is far from horrible and everyone knows that. “Well, that’s true.” Niall retorts sarcastically. 

Harry starts to let out a whiny sound, knowing that Niall doesn’t believe him. “No, I’m serious. I can’t believe I just did that,” he says, turning around slowly to face Niall. “How can you even look at me?” 

Niall sighs before he starts to speak up. “Harry, you’ve been carrying this around for a long time. You were just getting it off your chest. All you did was tell the truth,” he points out. 

Harry shakes his head. “Yeah, but for the wrong reason,” he quips. “I just played the tragedy card and it was totally manipulative and I hate myself,” he says, truly ashamed at himself at the moment. 

Niall sighs before he shakes his head, disagreeing with Harry. “Nobody knows why you said it,” he points out. 

“Yeah, well, I do.” Harry admits truthfully. “Because I wanted Louis to feel bad for me and then like me.” 

“Yeah, but I don’t even think Louis is capable of being manipulated.” Niall points out. “He does whatever he wants anyways,” he adds truthfully, trying to console the younger boy. 

“I just…” Harry trails off before he continues. “I just hate how jealous I get of all those other people,” he admits truthfully. “And I know he’s never gonna look at me the way he looks at them so I feel like I have to just find some other way in, but this was just….argh! so wrong!” He says before he groans miserably. “I feel like I should just go to church and confesses all of my sins or something.” 

Niall chuckles slightly at Harry’s words. “I’ll pitch that idea to the boys outside,” he says, trying to lighten up Harry’s mood. Harry looks at him, unimpressed and Niall starts to walk closer to the younger boy. “Seriously, Harry, you are so much cooler than all of those people combined,” he tells the boy, putting his hands on Harry’s shoulder comfortingly. “Jealousy is such a pointless emotion. Just a complete, total waste of energy.” 

Harry raises his eyebrows at Niall. “Oh, really? So you never feel jealous of Perrie?” 

“That’s different.” Niall drawls. “She’s an ex.” 

Harry hums. “Well, you’re right. It is different,” he says. “Because you have nothing to be jealous about, since Zayn is your boyfriend and is totally in love with you.” 

Niall snorts and shakes his head. “Yeah, that’s why we spend half the day fighting.” He deadpans sarcastically. 

Harry sighs before he rolls his eyes at Niall. “Okay, you know what? That’s because you are like 50% of the problem when it comes to that,” he blurts out. 

Niall gasps, looking at Harry with wide eyes. “Harry, even if that’s true, you’re not supposed to say it!” 

Harry shakes his head and shrugs. “I know that you forgave Zayn for the whole Perrie thing in theory, but you, you’re gonna really have to forgive him,” he adds gently. “Because if you don’t, this passive aggressive thing is gonna break you guys up for real and I know you don’t want that, Niall.” 

Niall stares at Harry for a while, before his face breaks into a smile. “I thought I came in here to help you.” 

Harry chuckles slightly and shrugs. “And then I turned it around. I’m tricky like that,” he tells Niall, smiling cheekily. 

Niall chuckles too, so fond and thankful for a best friend like Harry. “Come here,” he says, opening his arms and steps closer to the younger boy, pulling him into a hug.

**************

“You know, life just sucks. It never ceases to amaze me.” Zayn tells Louis as they both sit on the bench nearby, waiting for Harry and Niall. 

Louis turns his head to the left and raises his eyebrows at Zayn. “Dude, buzz kill. If you’re gonna slash your wrists, just give me the heads up, okay?” He retorts sarcastically. 

Zayn chuckles slightly and shakes his head. “No, I mean, seriously. Seriously think about it. Think about the three of us. Me and my mom. You guys and Liam. It’s like tragedy’s the only thing we have in common,” he says. “It’s practically the reason we’re friends.” 

“So?” Louis asks, raising his eyebrows at Zayn. “At least we all found each other. We are friends,” he points out. 

“But the point is, we got screwed.” Zayn says. “We’re like way older than it says on our driver’s license,” he adds. “I mean, most kids our age don’t have to go through the kind of stuff that we’re going through. That’s why most kids our age know how to throw a proper ditch day.” 

Louis shakes his head. “Hey, you know what, I’ve thrown plenty a proper ditch days in my time,” he tells Zayn. “And I would have turned today around if you guys would have let me,” he adds, standing up from the bench and starts to kick around the snow. “The truth is, Zayn, there is a silver lining. You just fail to see it. I think that’s part of your problem.”

Zayn starts to stand up too, as they both start to make their way to the car. “Thank you, Dr. Phil.” 

Louis shakes his head. “No, seriously, you came here on your first day, you met Niall,” he points out. “Cause you’re all wiggy, in love with him, it takes your mind off what probably would have been a pretty nightmare year.”

“I was not wiggy.” Zayn replies defensively. 

Louis ignores Zayn’s comment and continues to speak. “And because of what you went through with your mom, you were able to help him – Niall – out with the whole Liam thing went down. And that’s not lucky, then I don’t know what it is.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows, looking at Louis. “You think we’re lucky?” 

Louis nods firmly. “I do think we’re lucky,” he replies. “I also think that we’re young,” he says and pauses. “You may not feel like it all the time, but you are. So if you want to have a little fun, just nut up and do something about it.” 

Zayn smiles and nods. “Okay, next ditch day I’ll be better.” 

Louis shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “Screw that, we’ve got plenty of day left.” 

Zayn’s eyes goes wide. “What? It’s like 5 o’clock. It’s too late,” he points out. 

“Ah, my ass. Get in the car.” Louis says, taking over the driver’s seat, reaching for the keys from Zayn’s pocket. 

“What about the other two?” 

And the only reply that Zayn gets from Louis is the blaring sound of the car’s honk, calling for Niall and Harry to come to the car quickly.

**************

“You know what, I’m not going.” Zayn says, trying to stand back up from sitting on the piece of wood. 

Louis shakes his head, pushing Zayn to sit back on the wood. “Yes, you are. Here we go, ready?” He asks, putting his hands on Zayn’s back, ready to push him down the slope. 

“How do I steer?” Zayn asks. 

“You don’t have to worry about it.” Louis replies. “One. Two.” 

“I’m gonna hit your truck!” Zayn says panicking over the prospect of skidding down the snow on the piece of wood. 

“Three.” Louis shouts before he pushes Zayn to skid down. Niall and Harry laugh as Zayn manages to skid down for few meters before he falls down, rolling on the snow and looking up at them, smiling brightly. 

After that, they all take turn to slide down the snow with the woods, rolling around the snow in laughter and happiness, not really caring about the time. 

“This is so much fun!” Harry exclaims as they are walking towards their cars. Apparently, they are too exhausted to play and Niall claimed that he was hungry, so they decide to go back. 

Louis laughs and nods. “Oh, dude. Zayn, when you hit my truck that was so hilarious,” he says between his laughter. 

“Oh, yeah, maybe for you.” Zayn deadpans. But he smiles nonetheless, because truthfully, it was hilarious. 

Louis is about to say something else when his phone goes off. “That’s probably Julian.” Harry says and Louis nods, looking at the screen. “Yeah.” 

“Hurry up before it goes to voicemail.” Harry says, urging for Louis to take the call. 

Louis ends the call and shakes his head before putting his phone back into his pocket. “Ah, I can skip it. I can go to a movie any night,” he tells the other three. The he looks at Harry. “One more run on the hill, Harry?” 

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Me?” 

Louis nods. “Double decker to the top, unless you’re too chicken,” he says, grinning cheekily at the younger boy, challenging him. 

Harry chuckles and shakes his head. “Your sad attempt at reverse psychology is not going to work on me, Louis,” he says, brushing past Louis, titling his head slightly to the left. “Race you to the top,” he adds before he starts to run, followed by Louis. 

Both Niall and Zayn smile at the sight of Harry and Louis, running up to the small hill playfully. Then, Zayn turns to look at Niall. “This actually wasn’t half bad.” 

Niall nods, gazing at his boyfriend, smiling. “”I know.” 

“Who knew sledding could be so much fun?” Zayn asks, shaking his head disbelievingly. 

Niall chuckles slightly. “Uh huh, Louis, man, he’s good at that stuff,” he tells Zayn. 

Zayn nods, agreeing with Niall before he steps closer to his boyfriend, cupping his cheeks in his hand. “I’m sorry I was such a downer today,” he apologizes, staring into Niall’s blue eyes. 

Niall leans into Zayn’s touch and shakes his head slightly. “You weren’t.” Niall says. “You were just being you. But since I love you, I’m okay with that,” he tells Zayn, blushing slightly, the traits that he cannot get rid of everytime he says that he loves Zayn. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Really? You still love me?” He teases. 

“Weird, I know.” Niall jokes back, making Zayn chuckles. “I feel kinda bad for loading up the party wagon today,” Niall admits truthfully. “We never actually got any time together. Or together time,” he points out. 

Zayn smiles, reaching to lace their fingers together. “Well, it’s never too late,” he says, smiling at Niall suggestively. 

Niall’s face flusters under Zayn’s gaze. “What about them?” He asks, referring to Louis and Harry. 

“Oh, they have a car. We have a car.” Zayn points out. 

Niall grins, tightening their laced hands before he nods. “This is true,” he says, letting Zayn to lead him to the car, using one of his arms to pull Niall closer to him.


	14. One day I'll go, dancing on the moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has been pretty hectic. *wiping sweats*. Anyway, apologize in advance if this is not a really good chapter. 
> 
> Cheers! xx 
> 
> Oh, and the title is taken from **[Mandy Moore- Someday we'll know](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD_h8a9ur5Q)**

“Is it June yet?” Zayn asks, sounds miserable. 

Niall glances at his boyfriend and shakes his head. “Shockingly, no.” He replies. 

Zayn groans out loud. “Damn it to hell.” He curses. 

“You just wasted a curse word.” Harry points out, glancing at Zayn. “Which means you only get two more for the rest of the week or you owe me money,” he adds cheekily, grinning at his brother. 

Zayn rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Well, first of all, I’m not playing that game. Second of all, damn it is not a curse word,” he points out, squinting his eyes at his younger brother. 

Harry shrugs and shakes his head before he starts to open his locker as both Niall and Zayn hovers nearby. “Yeah, but ‘hell’ does,” he says, closing the door. Once he turns around, he spots someone familiar is approaching their spot and his eyes go wide. “Oh, damn it!” He curses under his breath and tries to turn to opposite direction and walks away but unfortunately he is too late. 

“Harry?”

Harry curses again, mentally, before he takes a breath and mustering a smile. Then, he slowly turns around to face the boy. “Oh, hey, George.” 

The boy, who is apparently is called George, widens his eyes as he looks at Harry. “Wow, I didn’t think you knew my name,” he says and laughing shyly. 

Harry shrugs. “We got three classes together. Roll call in every one,” he points out. As he doesn’t know what to do, Harry fixes his glasses awkwardly, knowing full well that Niall and Zayn are standing behind him, watching the whole scene. “So, you want my Art History notes?” 

George shakes his head quickly that it almost gives him a whiplash. “Oh, uh, no. I noticed that you like to write a lot cause I see you scribbling in your notebook all the time, so I figured you might like poetry,” the boy tells Harry. “So, there’s a reading at Burke’s Coffee House this weekend. Or, if you like old movies, they’re showing ‘Casablanca’ at the Retro Theatre,” he adds. “Ice skating’s fun,” he continues, staring at Harry with the hopeful glint in his eyes. 

“Look, uh, Niall, the Asian-African Alliance Club is uh, having a meeting. Over there.” Zayn suddenly says from behind Harry and the younger boy mentally curses his brother for being _so_ subtle. 

Niall hums in response, not even looking at his boyfriend. He is still smiling as he sees the flustered looks on both Harry’s and George’s face as the latter is trying to ask the former out. It’s so cute and endearing. “Oh, right, yeah. We should probably check this out,” he replies distractedly to Zayn. “Cause you know, it’s important that they all get along,” he adds, glancing (with a cheeky wink to the younger boy’s horror) at Harry and smiles brightly before they both are walking away. 

Harry grits his teeth embarrassingly at the not so subtle way of Zayn and Niall to leave him alone with the other boy. He gives both of them a slight glare but they both are just giving him cheeky grins. “Hi. Still here.” George says, making Harry to turn his head to look at the boy again. 

“Right. Sorry.” Harry apologizes. “So, um, are you asking me out?” 

George nods enthusiastically. “Yeah. Not sure how it’s going,” he admits, looking at Harry. “Well, I promised myself I’d ask, so I did,” he says. “But you don’t have to answer right away. Open offer, okay? Nod if..if that’s okay.” 

Harry nods and smiles nervously, not exactly knowing on how to respond. The slight nod from Harry apparently makes the other boy happy since he starts to grin brightly before he excuses himself to go to his class promises to talk to Harry later. 

Harry takes a deep breath, waiting for the voice that he knows so well as he hears the giggle from the person behind him. “Oh my God, he’s so cute!” Niall shrieks once George leaves. 

Harry rolls his eyes before he turns around to look at Niall and Zayn. “Yeah, thanks for not making it awkward.” He deadpans sarcastically. 

“I did my best under pressure.” Zayn says and shrugs casually like it is not a big deal. 

Harry huffs and fixes his glasses again as Niall continues to giggle at him. “This is so momentous.” Niall says, his eyes twinkles dreamily and Harry shakes his head. “Shut up and walk,” he grumbles, pulling Niall and Zayn to walk with him towards the classroom.

**************

Niall hums to himself as he keeps flipping through his clothes in the closet. “Okay, I’m thinking this one,” he says, pulling out the plaid from the closet and turns around to show it to Harry. “It’s simple and yet sexy, but not too sexy cause we don’t want George to get the wrong idea,” he tells the younger boy.

Harry looks at the clothes in Niall’s hand and shrugs. “Given who I am, that seems highly unlikely,” he tells Niall. 

Niall rolls his eyes. “Harry, I would appreciate some enthusiasm cause I am lending you some very choice items here.”

Harry puts down the journal in his hand on the bed before he gives his full attention to Niall. “I know and I really appreciate you diving into your fancy section, but I just haven’t even decided whether I’m going to go or not.” 

Niall shakes his head, putting down the clothes on the other side of the bed before he crawls towards Harry’s spot. “Harry, you have to go even if you don’t like him, which you do, because you should, because he’s exactly who the matchmaking site would choose for you. It’s like..”

“..a milestone.” Harry finishes for Niall. “I know,” he adds. “You keep saying.” He says, looking at Niall. “But didn’t you think it was weird the way he asked me like in public like that.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “What did you expect him to do?” He asks curiously. “Come to your house in middle of the night with a horse-drawn carriage?” 

Harry sighs. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.” Niall says firmly. “You’re looking for excuses and I know why.” He points out before he pauses, staring at Harry knowingly. “It’s my brother. You’re still waiting for him, aren’t you?”

Harry shrugs. “Waiting is the wrong word,” he says. “I prefer pining. Maybe longing.” 

Niall groans out loud, shaking his head. “Harry..” 

“You can’t help who you like. It’s chemical.” Harry points out, looking at Niall. “I’m chemically obsessed with your brother.” 

“Yeah, it’s because you’re not allowing anyone else to penetrate the force field.” Niall says, squinting his eyes at the younger boy. “Do you not think George is cute at all?”

“Well…” Harry trails off hesitantly. “Yeah..but..” 

Niall nods, satisfy with Harry’s answer. “Okay, so go with that,” he says. “It is one night. Two hours of your life.” 

“Which rounds to four episodes of Dr. Who or a lot of good TV?” Harry points out. 

Niall sighs dramatically before he plops down, lying on the bed, shaking his head disbelievingly. Harry is a tough one to break. It’s not like he doesn’t like Louis to date Harry because the older boy is bad or something. But in Niall’s opinion, Harry deserves someone better. 

“I’m just not ready yet, Niall.” Harry says, tilting his head down to look at Niall. “I know you want me to be and I want to be too, but I guess I just need more time. Okay?” He continues., gazing at Niall, hoping that the older boy would understand. “Don’t hate me.” 

Niall chuckles, shaking his head before he throws the pillow to Harry, making the younger boy laughs too. Because they both know, how could they hate each other?

**************

“Do you hear that surround sound?” Louis asks, turning his head slightly to the left to look at Zayn at the other couch. Both of them are lying lazily on the couches at his house, feeling too lazy to hang outside.

Zayn nods. “Yeah, it’s pretty sweet,” he says, agreeing with Louis. 

Louis grins. “Oh, yeah, my dad just got it,” he tells Zayn. 

“SUCH AN ASS.” Niall’s voice is suddenly heard, approaching the living room and Zayn abruptly sitting up. 

“One of us in trouble.” Zayn says, glancing at Louis as he sees Niall is approaching both of them with a certain look on his face. The look that sometimes frighten Zayn. 

“You’re completely ruining his life, did you know that?” Niall says, crossing his arms over his chest, standing in front of the couch that Louis is occupied.

“Oh, that rules me out.” Zayn says from his spot, sighing in relief. At least he knows Niall is not mad at him. 

Louis raises his eyebrows at Niall, still not moving from his position on the couch. “You could be talking about like 10 different guys here? His who?” He asks confusingly. 

Niall grabs the remote on the coffee table and turns off the stereo before he turns to face Louis again. “Harry.” He says simply. “George Shelley asked him out and he’s not going because for some insane reason he still likes you. It’s like he’s been brainwashed and needs an exorcism.” 

Louis rolls his eyes at Niall’s dramatic tone and shifts his body to half sitting to get a better look at his brother. “So, what do you want me to do about it?” 

Niall shakes his head. “I don’t know, but you have to do something, because it was all your fault, right, Zayn?” 

Zayn, who looks like a deer caught in headlights, shaking his head. “Look, I love Harry. But I trust his decision so I’m staying out of this one.” He says. He loves his brother, of course, but he also respect whatever his brother’s decision in his life, like the younger one does for him. 

“Thanks. I’ll remember that.” Niall deadpans sarcastically before he turns his attention back to Louis. “Come on, be a good person for once in your life.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Look, little brother, I can’t help it if I have a way with the guys. Or ladies.” He says. “Just like you can’t help the fact that you’re an obsessive neurotic lad,” he deadpans. 

“Hey, he’s kinda got a point.” Zayn pipes in suddenly. 

Niall shifts his body slightly, turning his head to look at Zayn. “I thought you weren’t getting involved.” 

“No, not the neurotic thing.” Zayn says, shaking his head. “Let’s face it, you and I know that Louis is nothing but a good looking, empty shell devoid of any characteristics yet people are still attracted to him.” 

“You’re not helping.” Niall says while Louis rolls his eyes at Zayn’s comment. “Really, man?” Louis says and Zayn grins at the older boy. 

Niall shakes his head. “Look, Harry deserves to go to this date. He’s ready.” 

“So tell him that.” Louis says simply. 

Niall stares at Louis silently. Zayn watches the expression on Niall’s face before he turns to look at Louis. “Pretty sure that conversation is already taken place.” He points out, already know full well about his boyfriend’s body language. 

Louis nods and shrugs. “Okay, so you’ve done your part. You’ve been super friend Niall, if he doesn’t want to listen to you, maybe for once in your life, you should let it go.” He says before he lies back on the couch, ignoring Niall again. 

Niall huffs and shakes his head. “Fine. Do nothing, but if Harry doesn’t leave the house for 50 years, doesn’t fall in love, never gets married, ends up being one of those old folks with a lot of cats, it’s on you,” he points out before he starts to walk out of the living room, leaving both Louis and Zayn alone again. 

Once Niall leaves, Louis grabs the remote and turns on the speaker again. “It’s the subwoofer.” He tells Zayn. “It’s like a movie theatre, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet.”

**************

“Come in.” Harry says when he hears knocking on his door. He turns around when he hears the door is opened and almost fall out of his chair when he sees Louis.

“Hey, Zayn said I could come up.” Louis says, poking his head through the slightly ajar door. 

Harry chokes in surprise, feeling as self-consciously as ever about his clothes, quickly grabbing his blanket and trying to cover his body. 

Louis steps into the room, watching the boy amusingly and raises his eyebrows. “Sure you don’t need another blanket?” He teases. “I still can see your wrist.” 

Harry rolls his eyes and shrugs. “Uh, what are you doing here?” He stammers nervously. 

Louis clears his throat, before he starts to move towards the centre of the room, still looking at Harry. “I heard about George.” 

Harry’s eyes go wide after Louis’s words. “Oh my god.” He groans before he slumps on his chair again, covering his face with his blanket. 

Louis shakes his head as he sees the horrified expression on Harry’s face before the younger boy starts to cover his face with the blanket. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he says, assuring the younger boy. 

“In fact, I do.” Harry whines from under the blanket. 

Louis pulls the blanket down, so that he can see Harry’s face properly. He smiles gently as he looks at the younger boy. “Hey. Chill. I just, uh..I just came here to tell you that I get it.”

Harry raises his eyebrows and stares at Louis confusingly. “What do you get?” 

Louis shrugs, taking a seat at the edge of Harry’s bed, facing the younger boy. “Well, I’ve been in your situation before, Harry, and it may seem impossible to believe but back in couple of years ago, there was this boy named Greg James who refused to go out with me.” He tells Harry. “Uh, supposedly his mom wouldn’t let him date someone who wasn’t Jewish and I told her I would convert but still no dice.” 

Harry blinks his eyes and shakes his head, trying to process on Louis’s words. “I’m sorry, you were going to convert to Judaism?”

Louis shakes his head. “Oh no, not really, but she didn’t know that,” he points out. “But anyways, the point is, I made this vow that I wasn’t going to go out with anybody until he went out with me first.” He says, looking at Harry. “And it was just a stupid vow. Just…do you understand me?” He asks, hoping that the younger boy can understand about his point. 

“Not even a little bit.” Harry admits truthfully, shaking his head. 

Louis sighs, slightly frustrated. “I don’t want you not going out with George just because he’s not as good looking as me,” he blurts out. “And does not as quick with the jokes, you know?” He says, smiling slightly when Harry chuckles. “Cause generally he is a decent guy.” Louis continues. 

Harry’s chuckle starts to turn into a full laugh and he shakes his head. “I’m sorry. Umm..” He says, between his laughter, staring at Louis disbelievingly. 

“What?” 

“Well, that was really sweet.” Harry says, still laughing. “Um, totally narcissistic and off base, but sweet,” he adds. He sobers up couple of seconds later, before he starts to speak up again. “Look, you don’t have to worry about it,” he says, staring at Louis. “You’re not the reason I’m not going out with George Shelley.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows. “I’m not?” 

Harry shakes his head. “No.” 

“So, you..you just don’t like him or..?” Louis asks curiously. 

Harry shrugs. “Well, actually, I really like him,” he tells the other boy. “He’s incredibly smart and funny in an Owen Wilson kind of way which is the best,” he adds. “Plus, he’s got these freckles that are..”

“Okay..so you dig him.” Louis says, cutting Harry off. “Well, it’s..well, why don’t you go out with him?” 

Harry hums for a second before he sighs. “Because if we go out, then we’ll have a good time and then we’ll probably go out again and then we will probably fall in love, go to the same college, get married, have kids and I just can’t do any of that.” 

Louis stares at the younger boy in confusion. “Oh..kay..why?” 

“Because I like you more.” Harry says bluntly. “Plus, I’m not sure if anyone can love me..” 

“Harry…” Louis trails off, not knowing what else to say at the moment. 

Harry shakes his head, suddenly regretting on his forwardness. “It’s okay. I understand,” he murmurs. “Um, can you just…I just need alone time.”

Louis sighs, knowing that he can’t force Harry to talk again and so he says, “Okay,” before he starts to stands up, “I’ll do that.” He glances towards Harry before he walks out, but the younger boy is already facing the other side of the room, making Louis feeling guilty as hell.

**************

“Oh, for the love of Pete.” Harry curses out loud when Louis is suddenly bursting into his room the next day after their ‘little’ conversation the other night.

“I gotta take you somewhere.” Louis says, slightly out of breathe, staring at Harry. 

“Now?” Harry asks with a raising eyebrows. 

Louis nods. “Yeah.” 

Harry shakes his head. “I’ve got bird poop on me,” he says, pointing out at his shirt. 

“That’s okay.” Louis says, starting to pull Harry’s hand, ignoring the slight protest from the younger boy as he leads him downstairs. 

Harry follows Louis’s trails and they both stop walking as they reach the front porch. Then, Louis tilts his head up, staring at the sky. Harry raises his eyebrows confusingly. “Are we getting beamed somewhere?” 

“How cool would that be?” Louis wonders, before he turns his head, to look at Harry again. “Now, actually, we’re here.” 

Harry glances around, still in confusion. “This is where you want to take me? The front porch?” 

Louis nods. “Do you remember what happened here?” He asks and when Harry stares at him blankly, he continues. “You tried to kiss me,” he says and moves slightly to stand on his right. “About right here.” 

“Yeah, right, thanks for reminding me of the most embarrassing moment of my entire life until right now that is.” Harry deadpans. 

The older shakes his head. “But that’s the point,” Louis says firmly. “See, you’ve got everybody fooled, Harry.” He says, staring at Harry firmly. “You pretend to be all shy and intro..what’s that word?” 

“Introspective? Introverted?”

“Right. Those.” Louis nods and says. “You know, you act like somebody who doesn’t take chances, but that’s not true,” he adds. “See, I saw that other side of you, you know I was here. You leaned in, you tried to kiss me. You didn’t think about it. You just did what you wanted to do.” He continues. “And for a brief second, you saw it.” 

Harry shakes his head. “Saw what?” He asks confusingly. He doesn’t understand what Louis is trying to say at the moment. 

“A future.” Louis replies. “Or, you know, the possibility of one. You know, and then, I mean, damn you called me on my crap, which honestly no one has ever done before. You know, which means you’re way stronger and cooler than you think,” he points out. “Which means, you can’t let this thing, this not knowing thing stop you from living your life because God, Harry, your life is gonna rock.” 

“You think so?” Harry asks, staring at Louis sceptically, not knowing whether the older guy is telling him the truth or not. 

“Yeah. Hell yeah.” Louis says and nods firmly. “And this George thing, I don’t know, go out with him, don’t go out with him, but live your life out, because you never know, you know. I mean, none of us know how long we’re gonna be here,” he points out. “My friend, Liam, sure as hell didn’t. I think about it every single day,” he says. “At least, I try to. You just gotta, you gotta treat every moment like it’s like..”

“Like a gift.” Harry says, finishing the sentence for Louis. 

Louis cracks a smile and nods. “Yeah. Yeah.” He says. “You can’t give it up and you can’t give it back, because Harry, you’re too good for that, okay?”

Harry stares at Louis for a moment, contemplating the sincere expression on Louis’s face. Then he smiles and nods. “Okay.” He says simply, too overwhelmed with Louis’s words. 

Louis nods, feeling satisfied when he sees Harry is believing him. “Oh, and one more thing,” he says. “Don’t ever say that it’s unlikely someone’s gonna fall in love with you, because they will,” he adds sincerely. “They will see all the things I see and more and unlike me, they’ll actually deserve you.” He adds quietly. 

Harry, too stunned to say anything, starts to leans closer and throwing his arms around the older buy, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.”

**************

“Whatcha reading?” Zayn asks, putting his tray on the table that Harry is sitting.

Harry glances up from his book and smiles at his brother, with Niall in tow, as usual. They both start to pull their chairs to sit beside him. “Summer by Edith Wharton.” Harry replies. 

Niall snorts and shakes his head. “Again?” He asks. “Haven’t you read that like forty times?” 

Harry shrugs, grinning cheekily at Niall. “Just call me a romantic.” 

“Theoretically, maybe.” Zayn points out, his eyes are glancing across the other side of the cafeteria, spotting the familiar boy with a slump, dejected figure, sitting alone at the table. “But in real life, you’re a vile temptress of doom,” he says. When Harry glares at him, the older boy shakes his head. “No, it’s a compliment. Look at this guy.” Zayn says, looking at George’s direction on the other end of the café. “He’s dejected. Wasting away before our eyes. I’m gonna go talk to him.” He adds, starting to stand up and bringing his tray with him.

“Why?” Harry asks curiously. 

“Let’s just say I know how he feels.” Zayn says, smiling at Niall before he makes his way towards George’s direction, leaving Harry and Niall alone.

Harry raises his eyebrows at Niall once Zayn leaves, making Niall chuckles. “I don’t know. He’s weird like this sometimes, right?” Niall points out, but smiling fondly as he watches from the corner of his eyes as Zayn starts to talk to George, the poor boy. Harry nods silently, agreeing with Niall. Zayn can be weird sometimes so he should not be surprised. 

Niall starts to munch on his chips, glancing at Harry and frowns slightly when he watches the expression on Harry’s face. “What’s wrong? You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you? You wish you said yes.” 

Harry shrugs. “Maybe..,” he trails off. 

“So then why don’t you go out with him?” Niall asks curiously. He’s been dying to ask that question since Harry told him that he had rejected George’s offer for a date. 

“I don’t know..” Harry murmurs. 

Niall stares at the younger boy, sensing that the latter does not want to talk about the topic anymore. So he does what he does best, shifting his body slightly and pulling the younger boy into a hug. “Okay, let’s just have a movie night. Both of us, tonight. Okay?” He says once they pull away, grinning at Harry. “I’ll let you draw tattoo on my arms.” 

“Really?” Harry’s face start to lighten up, smiling brightly at Niall. 

Niall smiles, congratulating himself mentally as he manage to bring back the dimpled smile on Harry’s face. “Using sharpie, of course!” 

Harry grins. He loves it when Niall allows him to draw tattoos on his arms. The fake ones, of course. He doesn’t want the Horans to ban him from being friends with Niall if he lets the other boy gets the tattoo. “What about Zayn?” He asks. 

Niall smiles and shakes his head. “He’ll understand,” he tells the younger boy. “Plus, I know how to make up to him for the loss of our quality time tonight,” he adds cheekily. 

“Euw! Too much information!” Harry says, scrunching his nose disgustingly while Niall is laughing out loud at the younger boy’s expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p/s: certain characters need to be developed too :) but the main ones remain the priorities, so expect the full force of Ziall for the next chapter :D


	15. Tell me what you want to hear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life happens. Sorry for the late update. xx 
> 
> Anyway, thanks to [**bradfordbuttfuck**](http://bradfordbuttfuck.tumblr.com/) for that one scene (you know which scene.:P).
> 
> Oh, and the title is from **[OneRepublic - Secrets](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHm9MG9xw1o)**

“You guys, Louis just called. They’re two blocks away, let’s go. Move it. Places everyone.” Harry announces, waving his hands to chase everyone towards their spots before he rushes to hide behind the wall. He rolls his eyes as he sees Niall is still standing in the kitchen, not really hiding himself out. “Niall, go near the door, be the first one he sees!” He scolds, before turning the light off, leaving the house completely in dark. 

Niall nods silently, before he starts to move towards the wall of the living room and leans on it, waiting nervously for Louis and Zayn to come through the front door. He doesn’t have to wait for long when Louis starts to open the door and walks into the house with Zayn in tow. 

“You’re hopeless, you know that.” Zayn says to Louis before they both step inside. Louis stops walking abruptly and Zayn almost ends up bumping into him from behind. He glances around his house curiously. He doesn’t think that they ever switch off the light around the house since they came into the town, especially at this early hour. 

Zayn is about to open his mouth, wondering about the darkness of the house when suddenly the light is switched on and chorus of “Surprise!!!” is heard. He gasps in shock, turning his head to his right and raises his eyebrows at Louis. “Was this you?” 

Louis laughs before he glances at the other people in the house. “He has no idea! How good am I? I should be an actor!” He exclaims loudly, earning chuckles from the other guests. 

Zayn holds up his hands, shaking his head, still staring at Louis. “Wait, so that stuff about you getting fired?” 

Louis snorts and shakes his head. “No, that really happened,” he says, before he walking towards the food near the table, leaving Zayn standing alone in the middle of the living room. 

Zayn turns around, glancing at the scene in front of him and smiling. It’s been a while since his house is filled with people, and knowing that the people are there to celebrate him nonetheless, it’s a good feeling and warmth his heart. He smiles brightly as his gaze lands on his boyfriend, and he starts to step closer towards the boy. “You did this. Didn’t you?” 

Niall smiles slightly, staring at his boyfriend. “I had some help,” he tells Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head, gazing at Niall lovingly. “You’re amazing, you know that? I love you so much,” he says before he pulls Niall into his arms, hugging the boy tightly. 

Niall falls into the embrace and holds on to Zayn like a lifeline. “I know you do,” he says quietly, burying his head on Zayn’s shoulder, letting the tears fall. “I know,” he whispers quietly.

**************

**One week earlier….**

_Niall had just closed the door and he turned around only to find that Zayn was already standing at the end of the bed, still bare chest and looked like he was not ready for their date yet. “Hey, I thought you said the movie will start at 6,” he told his boyfriend, looking at the other boy curiously. Niall raised his eyebrows in confusion when he saw how fidgety Zayn was at the moment. “Okay, what’s going on?”_

_Zayn grinned and gazed at his boyfriend. “Guess?” He said eagerly._

_Niall walked closer towards his boyfriend, raising his eyebrows. “What?” He asked._

_Zayn shook his head. “Just guess,” he urged, gazing at his boyfriend, waiting for the other boy to reply._

_Niall looked at his boyfriend thoroughly, from head to toe before he shrugged. “You’re sweating,” he pointed out._

_“No.” Zayn said and shook his head. “I’m glowing, which is an entirely different form of sweating.”_

_“And yet still pungent.” Niall teased playfully. “Oh, come on, I hate this game,” he whined, looking at Zayn with a pout on his face. “You make me guess and then I guess wrong and you think I don’t get you cause I couldn’t read your mind,” he told his boyfriend. “Come on?”_

_Zayn grinned wider, taking a deep breath before he blurted it out. “I got the audition!”_

_Niall’s eyes went wide after the words left from Zayn’s mouth. “You what? For Juilliard?” He asked disbelievingly and Zayn nodded. “Oh my god!!” He exclaimed excitedly, before he skipped forward to hug his boyfriend. “I can’t believe it!!” He added once they pulled away. “No, well, I can believe it, because I knew you would. Tell me everything!”_

_Zayn laughed at his boyfriend’s excitement before he started to speak up. “Uh, well, this letter pretty much sums it up,” he said, pulling out a letter from his pocket and passing the paper to Niall. “Basically, like 10000 kids apply, only 60 got auditions.”_

_Niall read the letter with a big smile on his face, jumping up and down slightly with excitement. He was so happy for his boyfriend. “And you were one of them, of course,” he exclaimed, smiling proudly at his boyfriend._

_Zayn nodded, chuckling slightly at Niall’s reaction. “Which means I have to be in New York, this time next week.”_

_The blond lunged at him again, his arms went round his neck and squeezing him tightly. “I can’t believe it!” He breathed into Zayn’s neck, their chests pressed firmly against each other and Niall could feel the beat of Zayn’s heart against his own._

_Zayn nodded. “Me neither.”_

_Tilting his head up to look at his boyfriend, Niall smiled at him, eyeing his parted lips longingly. “You beat up like 10,000 people for this,” he pointed out, still cannot believe on how proud he was of Zayn at the moment._

_“Well, actually 9,940.” Zayn corrected playfully, grinning at his boyfriend happily._

_“It’s amazing!” Niall exclaimed, pulling his boyfriend into a brief kiss on his lips before he pulled away. “You do realise that this calls for celebration, right?” He asked suggestively. He can feel the immediate excitement rushed through him when he felt the pounding of Zayn’s heart sped up under his fingertips, his palm pressed against his bare chest before he pulled Zayn into a kiss again, pushing him down on the bed, not even bothering to wait for a reply._

_Zayn’s kissing back almost instantly, his hands coming up and resting on Niall’s hips, flipping his boyfriend over, hovering over his lithe body, while their tongues were still brushing against each other. The kiss was nothing rush and furious, it’s languid and Zayn could feel Niall’s smile against his mouth, causing him to chuckle airily onto his boyfriend’s lips. They rested their foreheads as Niall sighed in content, and as they gazed into each other’s eyes, the two were left breathless by the hooded gaze they both shared. Their hearts pounding at a matching rhythm that reminded Niall of the night that they shared at the cabin not so long ago._

_Ridding his boyfriend of his tight jeans while Zayn pulled off his shirt, Niall smiled as he got onto his knees in front of him, shyly gazing at Zayn. He looked hesitant and slightly scared, making Zayn chuckling slightly, shaking his head at his adorable boyfriend. “Easy there, Ni. Let’s not complicate things.”_

_With a grateful hum, they helped each other strip down._

_The rest of the night was nothing but splendid. Zayn fingering Niall opening with no rush at all, making sure he was loose enough before he entered the blonde’s awaiting hole. Despite bottoming, Niall took control, laying Zayn down while he hovered above him and peppered kisses all over his face and neck, whispering a series of compliments and proud statements._

_He slowly sunk himself down onto Zayn’s member as his last compliment died out, fading into a desperate whimper as he was filled up from the inside. His voice broke as the tip brushed his prostate, Zayn’s hands coming up to rest on his lower back, guiding the blond up before slowly thrusting inside of him._

_Niall collapsed on his chest, even if he wasn’t the one being rewarded, he couldn’t help but keen as Zayn did most of the work, working his hips up into his tight boyfriend whilst pale hands resting on his shoulders._

_Zayn’s hips erotically meeting the curve of Niall’s ass in a sensual grind that had the blond begging for more. Their lips met in sweet, lazy movements, tongues against each other while their bodies, rocked languorously together._

_“I’m so proud of you, Zayn,” Niall said breathlessly as Zayn slowly thrust into him._

_Zayn pulled out slightly, smiling down at his boyfriend, “Thank you.” He said, before he shifted his hips and started to thrust into his boyfriend again, making they both moaned in pleasure._

_As their night continued, the couple had not only enjoyed their second time together, but their third and fourth and both of them couldn’t be happier._

**************

_“Entre.” Louis shouted, not moving from his bed as he heard the knock on his door. His mother’s face popped in as the door opened and she started to step closer towards Louis’s bed._

_“Can you please explain why I just received a call from Human Resources about you?” Maura asked sternly, looking at her eldest son._

_Louis raised his eyebrows. “Are they raving about me again?”_

_Maura shook her head. “In fact, no. Some man named Julian is accusing you of sexual misconduct.”_

_Louis sat up abruptly, before he started to shake his head disbelievingly. “What?”_

_“Well, I don’t know the specifics, but apparently he’s filed a complaint.” Maura told her son. “Do you have any idea who he is?”_

_Louis nodded. “Yeah, we went on a few dates. It didn’t amount too much.”_

_“You do realize, you’re not supposed to date people you work with, right?” Maura pointed out sternly._

_“Well, I know it’s frowned upon, I didn’t think frowning was such a major deal.” Louis said defensively._

_“Well, it is.”_

_Louis sighed. “Well, it it’s against the rules, shouldn’t it have been in the orientation?” He asked. “What am I supposed to do about this?”_

_“I don’t know yet.” Maura said, shaking her head, also clueless about the situation. “They’re going to be holding a formal meeting to figure that out. You have to be there and so do I.”_

_“Urgh,” Louis muttered under his breath. “Why are they making this a parent-teacher conference thing?”_

_Maura sighed. “In case you’ve forgot, I am technical the boss there,” she pointed out._

_“I know. I know. I didn’t do anything so, you know, what’s there to figure out?”_

_“Well, probably nothing, but, just don’t go dating any more co-workers from now on, okay?”_

_“Don’t worry, I won’t.” Louis told his mother. “There’s only one single person left at that place, and he’s about your age.”_

**************

_“So, I was thinking of throwing Zayn a surprise party for getting the audition.” Niall said, before grabbing a bite on his burger as he and his father both were eating their dinner at the café. Apparently, his mother and brother had some other thing to do and that was why he ended up having dinner with his father instead with the whole family as usual._

_Bobby nodded. “Hmm, sounds like a lovely idea,” he said, munching on his foods._

_Niall nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I’ve got the guest list started,” he told his father. “So far I have the usual suspects- the Maliks, us, Nina. I was thinking of inviting Perrie.”_

_Bobby almost chokes on his foods, but he quickly covered it by sipping on the water from the glass. “Why would you want to do that?” He asked curiously. “She is after all, his **ex** -girlfriend.” _

_Niall nodded. “Yes, but she was very supportive of his playing last year,” he pointed out._

_“Well, that was last year.” Bobby said. “This year, his attempt at seeing her nearly caused the two of you to break up if I recall correctly. Which I’m sure I do, because of all the times you told me about it.”_

_Niall nodded again, shrugging casually. “I know, which is why inviting her seems like the right thing to do.”_

_Bobby shook his head and stared at his son in confusion. ”How’s that now?”_

_“Well, he obviously wanted to see her and I should be able to handle them having a friendship.” Niall explained, staring at his father. “This whole jealous Niall thing is **so** last year. Niall **this** year on the other hand, all about being the bigger person,” he said and grinned at his father. “Plus, he really doesn’t have that many friends. There’s like 5 people on the list. I just don’t know how I’m going to find her. I know she’s not at MCC and she wasn’t with her band.” _

_“Perhaps, it’s just not meant to be.” Bobby pointed out, trying to coax Niall out from his idea. Because the prospect of finding Perrie at the moment was very very worrisome._

_Niall shrugged. “I guess I could track her band down,” he said. “I mean, I’m sure they could tell me where she is, right?”_

_Bobby swallowed his food nervously, but still managed to maintain his calm exterior. “You know what, now that I’m thinking about it, Mr. Knight, one of my patients, he’s in charge of the registrar’s office at MCC so if Perrie transferred to another college, they would certainly have that information,” he told Niall, or more likely, lying to his son. “I can make a call.”_

_Niall’s eyes started to glint happily as he looked at his father. “You would do that?”_

_“Absolutely.”_

_Niall grinned and nodded happily. “Cool!”_

_Bobby shrugged, still playing cool in front of his son. “So you worry about the catering. I’ll worry about finding Perrie.”_

_“Thank you, dad!”_

**************

_“Maybe we could rent people to do the party?” Niall said as his eyes were still staring at the computer screen. “Offer a little money a head to show up.”_

_Harry snorted, rolling on his stomach on the bed, before he looked at Niall. “How bad is it?”_

_Niall sighed. “Well, let’s see. Nina and her son is going on road trip. Uh, grandma’s motorcycle club is having their annual roast that night and apparently Will Cleveland’s dog is in a Best in Show competition so he won’t be able to come either,” he replied to the younger boy._

_“Wow, sounds like the plot of a bad indie film.” Harry joked. “Maybe we could get Zach Braff to direct it.”_

_Niall ignored Harry’s lame attempt on joke and looked down at the list in his hand. “Plus, my dad hasn’t had any luck finding Perrie yet so basically the only people coming to the party is my family, and of course, you family.”_

**************

_“I want to remind everyone that this is just a preliminary meeting. We’re not saying that the complaint is valid or invalid. We’re simply trying to find out what exactly happened here.”_

_Louis shook his head after the woman at the end of the table finished with her words. “Nothing happened here. This is trash.” He said, shrugging slightly when his mother gave him a warning look for his attitude._

_“Like I said, we’re exploring the charges.” The woman continued before she turned his head to look at the right side of the table. “Julian, you’re claiming that Louis created an uncomfortable work environment on account of some sexual misconduct, is that correct?”_

_Julian nodded. “Basically, yes.”_

_“Come on.” Louis whined, glaring at Julian._

_“Louis..” Maura warned._

_“As part of your claim, you mentioned that Louis was sending you e-mails during work hours that were sexual in nature.”_

_Julian nodded. “Yes, he was,” he told the woman._

_“Do you have those emails with you?”_

_“Yes, I do.”_

_Louis snorted and shook his head. “What about the emails that you sent to me?” He quipped. “I bet you didn’t probably print those out and bring them with you, did you?”_

_“You wrote all of these during work hours?” The other guy around the table asked as he started to look at the stacks of paper in front of him._

_“The majority of those were done on my lunch break.” Louis replied._

_The guy raised his eyebrows, looking at th paper before he looked at Louis. “At 3:07 pm?”_

_Louis shrugged. “And cake time,” he added. “Look, I’m sorry.” He said, looking around the table. “I didn’t mean to create an uncomfortable environment for anybody. I figured that this was normal, office flirting.”_

_“Oh, please, this is exactly what you did at your last job, and it’s why you got fired.” Julian pointed out. “I’m speaking to patterns of behavior.”_

_“What patterns?” Maura asked confusingly._

_“When we checked with your son’s former employer to determine if Julian’s claim had any merit, we learned that Louis was terminated because he was caught half-naked with a co-worker in a broom closet.” The woman at the end of the table explained._

_Maura turned her head sharply to her left, glaring at her son. “You never told me that, you just said you were let go..”_

_“There were a lot of reasons that you know, that didn’t work out.” Louis said, trying to explain the situation to his mother. “And the whole thing with the girl was different, because I wasn’t dating her.” He added. “And it was a restaurant thing. The rules at a restaurant are completely different from a regular office.”_

_“But you didn’t bother to follow the rules here either.” Julian quipped. “Look, I take full responsibility for accepting the date. But for the record, I never would have if I didn’t think that he was at least a little bit serious about me. I would never jeopardize my entire career over a mindless..” He said and paused, not really have the heart to continue with his sentence._

_The woman nodded. “Fine. Then I think the thing do know is to transfer Louis to another department.” She said. “Hopefully we won’t hear about this kind of thing happening again.”_

**************

_Louis sighed once he spotted his mother, leaning at his door, looking at him. “Hey, ma. I am so sorry that you had to hear all of that today.”_

_“How many people have there been like that?” Maura asked. Her tone sharp, not like the usual tone that she used with Louis._

_“What?”_

_“How many?” Maura pressed._

_Louis shook his head disbelievingly. “You want my number?”_

_Maura nodded, before she stepped into the room. “I want to know how many people you’ve treated that way.”_

_“Mom, you have the wrong idea about this.” Louis said, this time facing his mother properly. “Okay, this guy is out of his head. Alright, he’s pissed off because I didn’t like propose to him or whatever and so he pulls this crap. I think it’s kind of a bitch move if you ask..” He never got to finish his sentence before he felt the stings on his left cheek. Apparently, he had been slapped by his mother._

_“Who are you? What have you become?” Maura hissed, her eyes bored into Louis’s. “Did you that guy’s face in there? You hurt him. And you don’t even feel badly about it.”_

_“I do feel bad about it.” Louis said defensively._

_“No, you don’t! You feel badly for yourself.” Maura quipped. “You don’t even know what it is you’ve done wrong!”_

_“You know what, I don’t know what I’ve done wrong!”_

_Maura shook her head. “You don’t treat people that way, Louis! You don’t treat people as interchangeable objects. You don’t sleep with someone you have no intention of calling.”_

_Louis rolled his eyes. “My dating life is really none of your business.”_

_“This is not dating!” Maura quipped. “This is morally bankrupt behavior. How can you not see the difference?” She asked. “You took Julian out what, 3 times? Tell me something about him. What does he like to do? Does he have any brothers or sisters? Does he have any hobbies?”_

_“Oh, give me a break.” Louis deadpanned sarcastically._

_“You don’t know anything about him, do you?” Maura pointed out. “But you had sex with him.”_

_Louis shrugged. “So, I’m not a romantic.”_

_Maura shook her head. “You don’t have to be romantic, but at least be honourable. Be a good man.” She said before she sighed sadly. “This is my fault. I failed you.”_

_Louis’s breath hitched and he shook his head. “What, mom? No. You didn’t fail..”_

_“I’ve always been taken with your charm, your energy.” Maura told her eldest son. “It never occurred to me that all these social graces were covering up something tragic.”_

_“Oh, come on. It’s not tragic.”_

_Maura shook her head. “You read those magazines and you measure real people against those images. You don’t look any further than what’s right in front of your eyes, that’s the tragedy.” She pointed out, reaching out for the magazines on Louis’s bed. “That you can’t see the difference between reality and this garbage.” She added. “And I never took the time to teach you otherwise.” She continued, wiping her eyes, before turning around and starting to walk out of the room._

_“Mom, look. Mom, I can change, okay?” Louis pleaded, feeling guilty for making his mother upset. “You know, maybe this happened for the best. I can go into a different department with a new attitude. I can figure it out.”_

_Maura stopped walking and turned around to face her son again. “Oh, no. You are not going into any new department.”_

_“What?”_

_“This incident just proves that I never should have helped you get this job in the first place.” Maura said. “I am certainly not going to let you continue dishonouring your father’s good name, while you figure it out.”_

_Louis looked at his mother confusingly. “What does that mean?”_

_“It means, you’re fired, Louis.”_

**************

_“I was really glad you came around with Sean.” Niall said once both he and his father had stepped into the house. Apparently, Sean wanted to take the test for the Huntington disease and since his parents were divorced, he didn’t have a father that can accompany him and he didn’t want to burden his mother. And Niall had talked about it with his father and they both had agreed to be with Sean during the test. He was after all, one of the friends that Niall loved, despite whatever happened in the past._

_Bobby nodded, hanging his coat on the rack. “Well, now I’m happy that I was able to be there for him, but that does not mean that I agree with the choice he made.”_

_Niall shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Here we go, why can’t you ever just say you were right, I was wrong and leave it at that.” He said, before sipping on the coffee from the cup in his hand._

_Bobby shrugged, staring at his son. “Why does it always have to be about right and wrong?” He asked. “Why can’t I maintain my opinions, my beliefs, without _you_ feeling the need to change my mind?”_

_Niall grinned. “Because I’m **you.** ” He replied cheekily. _

_Bobby laughed and shook his head amusingly. “Touché.” He said before he moved towards the coffee table, browsing through some of the letters on the table._

_“You know if it were me though, I would have definitely taken that test.” Niall said suddenly, startling Bobby slightly._

_“Really?” Bobby asked as he faced his son again._

_Niall nodded. “Well, I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other day about Liam. And you know everything that happened with him changed the way that I live with my life now. It’s like I experience everything more fully, I appreciate more. I didn’t do that before.”_

_“Well, most of us never do.” Bobby admitted truthfully._

_Niall smiled. “And that’s all I wanted for Sean.”_

_Bobby raised his eyebrow in confusion. “Now, I’m not sure I follow.”_

_“I felt like I was watching him not live his life and it was driving me crazy.” Niall said, before he took his seat at the kitchen’s stool, when his father started to move towards the sink. “So maybe you were right.”_

_Bobby rinsed the mug on the sink briefly, his back is facing Niall while listening to his son’s words. “I was?”_

_Niall nodded. “Yeah, maybe, I did push Sean too hard to get the test done or you know, put too much pressure on him,” he admitted. “I just really think there’s a difference between truths out there are knowable versus the complete unknown,” he said. “Like take Zayn and I for example, I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, maybe we’ll get married, maybe we won’t, who knows. But if there was something that he knew that was preventing me from making an informed decision about us, it wouldn’t be the same.”_

_Bobby tried to calm his sudden rapid beating heart at the moment. “The same as what?”_

_Niall shrugged, staring at his father’s back. “Well, there are things you can’t control, obviously, then there’s just plain ignorance,” he told his father. “Personally, I would rather know all the horrible truths out there and deal with them now than be blindsided later. That’s why I was ultimately happy that he told me about Perrie.”_

_Bobby felt slightly panic when he heard Perrie’s name. “About?”_

_Niall sipped on his coffee, still oblivious to his father’s tone. “Going to see her band play,” he replied. “Because then I got to decide how I wanted to handle it, if he was worth it or not. And he was.” He added, smiling slightly as he thought about Zayn. “But if he hadn’t told me, I don’t know if it’s something you can know, I want to know, that’s all I’m saying,” he continued. “Everything else is cool and just let God decide,” he added with a small smile still plastered on his face. When his father turned around to face him with a serious look, Niall raised his eyebrows confusingly. “What?” He asked and when his father was just staring at him silently, Niall spoke out again. “Dad?”_

_Bobby felt his heart slightly break on what he was about to do. He knew Niall was his son, he loved him so much but he felt like the boy was ready for the secret. “I have to tell you something.”_

_Niall nodded. “Okay,” he drawled slowly, not really sure on what to expect._

_Bobby cleared his throat nervously, before he started to speak. “Um, I never tried to find Perrie for your party. I never had any intention of looking for her. I told you I would, I lied,” he confessed._

_Niall nodded again. “Okay. Well, why? I mean, I know that you thought that it was a bad idea, but..” he trailed off unsurely._

_“Well, I did think it was a bad idea, but not for the reasons that I told you.” Bobby said, staring at his son. “I didn’t want Perrie to attend Zayn’s party because…” He paused._

_Niall felt his heart started to pound rapidly as he looked at the expression on his father’s face. He knew something was wrong, very wrong. “Because..”_

_Bobby shook his head slightly, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Last year, I learned something that I should’ve told you then, but I didn’t,” he said. “In my mind, you were still my innocent little boy, but.,” he added, voice cracking slightly, feeling too overwhelmed with emotion at the moment. “You lost that innocence with Liam, what you’ve gained is so much more valuable. I should’ve realized that, I’m sorry,” he apologized and paused slightly. “Niall, Perrie left town she found out that she was pregnant with Zayn’s child.”_

_Niall swore he felt his heart dropped as soon as the words left his father’s mouth. Perrie was pregnant. With Zayn’s child. Perrie, the girl who Zayn loved was pregnant with Zayn’s child and Niall didn’t even know how comprehend his feeling at the moment. He was too shocked._

_“I have no idea where she is. I have no idea even if she had the baby.” Bobby said. “All I know for certain is that Zayn, he has no idea about any of it.”_

**************

_“What are you doing here?”_

_Louis waved at the guy in front of him and nodded slightly. “Hey, Julian.”_

_Julian shook his head. “Look, I’m not filing an official claim or anything so there’s really not much more to talk about.”_

_“Yeah, there is.” Louis said. “Look, everything went down so quick, I didn’t really have the chance to think about it. And then I did and then I felt sorry. I felt sorry. I’m sorry, Julian,” he apologized._

_“Really?”_

_Louis nodded. “Yes. I should have called you back after we…” he said, pausing to clear his throat, knowing that they both knew what he was referring to. “I probably should have never asked you out in the first place. I..it’s just..I guess I never really thought about what you might be feeling and that’s not cool,” he added. “So, anyhow, that’s it. I’m suck and I’m sorry.”_

_Julian sighed. “I’m really not sure what to say.”_

_“You don’t have to.” Louis said. “It’s, uh, you know, don’t say anything, this is mine,” he added. “So, anyhow, uh, good luck, with, well, everything. So..”_

_“Yeah, you too.”_

_And Louis felt a lot better after that._

**************

_“Dude, I still can’t believe Mrs. Horan had it in her to can your ass.” Zayn said to Louis, still laughing._

_Louis groaned. “Can you stop saying that?”_

_Zayn laughed harder and shook his head. “No, seriously. She’s be proud of you if you peed on the floor,” he told Louis. “This is big, Kind of proud of her.”_

_Louis rolled his eyes. “Okay, yeah, all right. I already feel like an idiot,” he said. “The thing that sucks, man, is once you got past the shirt and tie, I liked that job and I was good at it.”_

_“Well, it could’ve been worse.” Zayn said, shrugging slightly. “He could’ve actually sued you and you’d be the sexual harassment guy.”_

_“Instead of just unemployed guy.” Louis added. “I don’t even know what I’m gonna do now, not even just for money. I mean, like to fill my time.”_

_“Hey, you could be a gigolo.” Zayn joked and when Louis looked at him unimpressed, he continued. “No, seriously, go, pro man whore. Bringing out all your natural talents. Plus, no tie. Flexible hours,” he said, starting to reach for the doorknob, and still chuckling at Louis’s reaction._

_“Maybe I should just join a convent.”_

_“That’s nuns.” Zayn said, starting to open the door._

_Louis nodded. “I know.”_

_“You’re hopeless, you know that.” Zayn said before they both step inside. He glanced around the darkness and before he can say anything, the light was switched on.”_

_“SURPRISE!!!”_

**************

**NOW..**

 

“What’s wrong?” Zayn asks as he notices the tears on Niall’s face when they pull away from the hug. 

Niall shakes his head, wiping the tears with the palm of his hand. “Uh, nothing, it’s just party planning is surprisingly stressful,” he tells his boyfriend. 

Zayn smiles fondly at his boyfriend and shakes his head. “You do realize I haven’t actually gotten into the school yet, right?” 

Niall nods. “And you will,” he says firmly. He believes that Zayn will get into Juilliard because he knows his boyfriend deserves it. 

Zayn gazes at Niall. “So, am I allowed to ask who all these people are?” 

Niall chuckles slightly before he shrugs. “It was a tough guest list.”

**************

“You’re not allowed to clean up at your own party.” Niall points out as he spots from the corner of his eyes that Zayn is starting to clean up the dishes.

Zayn shakes his head. “I wasn’t gonna.” He tells the other boy, putting the plates on the table. Then he smiles slightly before he starts to speak up again. “I never wouldn’t made it this far without you helping me.”

Niall continues the rinse the dishes in the sink, his back is facing Zayn but he listens to Zayn anyway. “What are you talking about? All I did was sit on your couch.” 

Zayn shakes his head, even though Niall is not facing him at the moment. “Trust me, you were with me 24-7. You let me obsessed and bitched and moaned and complained. You pushed me whenever I got lazy and you never for a second made me think that if I didn’t try, I wouldn’t get here eventually.” He tells his boyfriend, pausing slightly. “You know what, you were right.” 

Niall nods, feeling too overwhelmed at the moment. He is happy for Zayn and he knows his boyfriend has a bright future ahead of him. He feels his heart breaks as he remembers about the secret. He is thankful that Zayn is not able to see his face at the moment because he knows Zayn will notice that he is about to cry again. He can’t imagine about what Zayn will do and feel if his boyfriend knows about the secret. “That’s not true. You are so talented, it’s disgusting,” Niall says, trying to mask his cracking voice, hoping that Zayn won’t notice about it. 

Zayn shakes his head, before he starts to walk closer towards his boyfriend. “Talent is nothing without strength to back it,” he says, wrapping his arms around Niall’s slim waist, before he turns his boyfriend around to face him. “I had you,” he says, staring at his boyfriend’s eyes, pausing slightly before he continues. “Come with me to New York.” 

“What?” Niall asks, eyes widen in surprise, not quite believing his ears. 

“No, seriously, this is as much as yours as it is mine.” Zayn tells his boyfriend truthfully. “I want you there. You’ve been with me this whole time. Just come,” he pleads. 

Niall shakes his head. “Zayn, that’s…that’s crazy.”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, I know it’s crazy, but we’re crazy. It totally works on that crazy level. Don’t you think?” 

Niall nibbles his bottom lips nervously before he nods. “Yeah. Yes. But..”

“Can you think of one good reason why not to come?” Zayn asks and when Niall is just staring at him silently, he raises his eyebrows. “What?” He asks and Niall quickly shakes his head, breaking out from his stupor. “I thought you were going to say something.” 

Niall gazes at his boyfriend, relishing the boy that is standing in front of him. At the moment, he knows how much he loves Zayn. He loves Zayn so much that he doesn’t want to lose Zayn. “No. Nope. I wasn’t,” Niall says, before he leans closer and wraps his arm around Zayn, burying his face on Zayn’s shoulder, hoping that he can stay there forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p/s: OMG I'M SO ANNOYED WITH THE italic things that I keep updating this chapter for gazillion times just for the formatting. urgh!


	16. Hello my friend we meet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the lateness of this story's update. My Ziall feels keep going in and out and I lost motivation to continue this at some points. But....here we are! Enjoy this chapter (spoiler: or you may not *suspense music*). 
> 
> Anyway,already drafted for the next two chapters so the next chapter won't be as late as this one, I promise. 
> 
> Title taken from **[Creed-My Sacrifice](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-fyNgHdmLI)**

Bobby knocks the door once. He doesn’t hear an answer but he knows his youngest son is in the room. So he opens the door, carefully balancing the tray in his hand and entering the room. And as expected, there he is, Niall, curling on the bed, facing the wall. Bobby sighs heavily. “Niall, you wanna get up?” 

Niall shakes his head a little. “Not really.” He replies quietly, not even turning around to face his father. 

Bobby sighs again. He puts down the small tray of breakfast on the bedside table, before he pats his youngest son’s on the shoulder silently. Then he moves out of the room, leaving his youngest son alone to continue moping. 

Niall sighs once his father closes the door and leaves his room. He feels guilty for moping and making his father worries but he just can’t help it. He doesn’t know what to do since he had found out about the secret of Perrie’s pregnancy. He doesn’t know what to think. He wants to talk to someone about it but he knows he can’t. He wonders how Dr. Malik and his father can keep the secret for months without feeling like their world is about to crumble right in front of their eyes. Maybe the main reason for Niall to feel this down is because he is in love with Zayn. He doesn’t know that the secret would affect him this bad. And when he thinks about it, if he is feeling like this about the secret, he is totally scared to even imagine on what Zayn’s reaction would be like if the other boy finds out about the secret.

**************

“Hey, Harry, make sure he packs right.”

Harry glances up from his reading to look at his brother, before he nods understandingly. Zayn seems satisfied with Harry’s firm nod before he leaves the living room. 

“I know how to pack.” Yasir argues from the other couch, knowing that his sons are talking about him. 

Harry snorts, looking at his father. “He means no flannel. It’s not allowed in New York.” He tells him. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows confusingly. Apparently, he doesn’t know about that. “Oh, right. Well, maybe, I do need some help.” 

Harry nods, staring at his father. “You’ll feel better once you get there, dad,” he says. “You won’t think about Mrs. Hayes so much.” He adds, knowing full well that his father has been down lately because of the end of his ‘relationship’ with the patient. Harry knows that it was against the professionalism, but for the last of couple of months when his father had the brief relationship with that woman, he can see how the woman made his father happy. 

Yasir nods, smiling slightly at his youngest son, hoping that he will feel better sooner.

**************

“What’s this?” Yasir asks confusingly when Bobby enters the office and handing him a small envelope without any words spoken.

“A letter.” Bobby replies simply. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “For me?” He asks. “I’m right here.” 

Bobby shrugs a little. “This required some formality.” 

Yasir, still feeling confused about Bobby’s words, starting to read the letter. “Your letter of resignation,” he points out as he reads the letter. “Your typewritten letter of resignation,” he adds before he tilts his head up to look at Bobby again. “Well, this is very thoughtful, Bobby, thank you. I hate to be ungrateful, but why exactly are your resigning this morning?” 

Bobby sighs, shaking his head a little. “Because you’re gonna want to fire me in five minutes and I’d like to preserve some measure of dignity.” He tells the other doctor. “I’ve done something you will no doubt and rightly find upsetting.” 

“Did you finish the milk again? I already told you, Bobby, you come in early, the milk grades are fair game.” Yasir jokes, smiling at Bobby. 

“I told Niall.” Bobby starts, gazing at Yasir. “About Perrie, about Zayn, the pregnancy, all of it.” He tells the other guy, making his smile falters and Bobby feels slightly guilty. “I know you told me in confidence, but I wasn’t in a position to lie.” He adds. “Actually, that’s not true. I could have lied.” He admits truthfully. “He deserved to know. So I told him. Knowing full well the consequences for you, thus my resignation tendered.” 

Yasir shakes his head slightly, looking at Bobby. “Did he tell him yet?” 

“No.” Bobby replies, shaking his head. 

“Is he planning to?” 

“He doesn’t know what to do. He’s been lying in bed, avoiding the decision.” Bobby tells the other man. “I can’t say I envy him. On one hand, he’s a boy in love with his boyfriend, who wants him to know the truth. On the other hand, he’s a boy in love with his boyfriend, who doesn’t want to lose him or crush him just before the most important audition of his life.” 

Yasir nods understandingly, folding the letter back into the envelope and putting it on the table. “Take it back, Bobby. Not accepted.” 

Bobby looks at Yasir confusingly. “But I’m half the reason that you didn’t tell Zayn when you had the chance.” He points out. “I betrayed your trust.” 

“Someone had to.” Yasir says. “Go back to work.” 

Bobby, who is as confused as ever, turns around and starts to walk out of the office, but before he opens the door, he turns around slightly to face Yasir again. “I’m hardly in a position to offer advice, but you did want to tell Zayn yourself once. Now may be the last chance to do so yourself.” 

Yasir nods. “I’m going to let him go to New York first and audition.” He tells Bobby. “He worked hard for that. He deserves his chance at a future. That’s why I kept this from him in the first place.” 

“Are you sure of this?” Bobby asks. 

“Well, I’ve waited this long.” Yasir says. “He can’t hate me any more than he already will.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “He may not hate you.” 

“I would.”

**************

Zayn turns around when he hears the knock on his door, only to find his boyfriend, leaning on it, staring at him. He smiles brightly at the boy. “Hey.” Zayn greets happily. “Yes, I know we’re only going for two days and I’m packing for like a month.” He tells the boy as he folds his clothes to be put in the luggage, glancing up slightly to look at his boyfriend. “Hey, I was thinking right when we land tomorrow, we could go straight to H&H for a good bagel breakfast.” He says, starting to stand up and walks closer towards his boyfriend, giving him a slight peck on the lips, before he walks to his wardrobe again. “But first you have to make good on your promise to try lox. You insult my people when you refuse our gross fish.”

Niall, who has been silent for the whole time Zayn was rambling, starts to take a deep breath before he speaks up. “I have to tell you something.” 

Zayn turns around slightly to look at his boyfriend. “What’s up?” 

“I don’t think I can come to New York with you.” Niall tells his boyfriend. 

“Is your dad freaking out again?” Zayn asks, turning around to face his boyfriend properly this time. “Tell him you have your own hotel room, we can sign separate bed affidavits if we must.” 

Niall shakes his head. “No, it’s not him exactly, it’s more your dad.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “My dad? What’s wrong with my dad? I mean, what specifically out of the many things wrong with him is the problem this time?”

“Well, I’ve just been thinking about it, and, um, I don’t really think that it’s my place to go on this one.” Niall tells the other boy. “I mean, we’ve had our time in New York, and you and your dad really worked hard to get you this audition, I think you should do this with him.” 

“Look, if you’re gonna cheat on me, you need to at least think of a better excuse.” Zayn says, gazing at his boyfriend. “Make up like, uh, sick relative or something.” 

Niall frowns slightly at his boyfriend. “I’m serious.” He tells his boyfriend firmly and when Zayn smirks at him, Niall raises his eyebrows. “Why can’t I be serious about this?” 

“Uh, because you’ve been doing the good bagel countdown since we first talked about this.” Zayn points out. Then he walks closer to his boyfriend, standing right in front of him, staring at those big blue eyes. “What’s up?” 

“Nothing.” Niall replies simply. 

Zayn arches his eyebrows, not quite believing the answer. Niall tries his best to maintain his poker face but he knows if Zayn is staring at him like that for longer time, he would blurt out the secret right there and then. “Z, my head just isn’t in a very good space right now.” He lies. Well, technically, it’s not really a lie since that’s how he feels at the moment. “I don’t want to bring you down with me.” 

“Well, what’s wrong with your head?” Zayn asks, pushing for the answer. 

Niall sighs slightly, breaking the eye contact and shakes his head. “We can deal with it when you get back, how about that? I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” He says, gazing at Zayn again. “Look, don’t worry about it. Go to New York, kick ass, get into Juilliard and bring me some pizza, okay?” He says, forcing a smile, hoping that Zayn won’t notice anything else, before he pulls his boyfriend into a hug.

**************

“Oh my God, look at this. This is just..”

“Just traffic.” Zayn finishes for his father as they are walking down the street of New York. 

Yasir nods. “I mean, there’s noise, crowds, spit on the ground, the pizza guy’s name is Ray, the grocery guy’s Korean, life as it should be.” He tells Zayn. “I mean, 5th Avenue. How’d we never missed this place?” 

“Well, you basically settled us in the small town and we’d never go anywhere again.” Zayn points out. “Hey, slow down.” 

Yasir chuckles, shaking his head. “No, no. You keep up. I think Mullingar’s making you too slow.” He teases his son. “No, don’t get me wrong, I mean, I love Mullingar, but I mean this, place like this is my natural habitat. It’s as though I, I evolved just to survive in this kind of place.” He adds. “Feet made for walking out on pavement. Lungs for filtering out cab fumes.” 

Zayn laughs and snorts at his father’s action. He have never seen his father being so lively as he is now. It amused Zayn to see his father like this to be honest. 

“What you think I’m manic?” Yasir asks as his eldest son is laughing at him. 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s good. You’ve been stuck on depressed for way too long.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “I’ve been depressed?” 

Zayn nods. “That your girlfriend’s boyfriend just came out of a coma, trust me, I’m like the one guy on earth who can totally relate.” 

Yasir chuckles, shaking his head. “Well, I’ve forgotten all that.” He tells his son. “You know what, husbands, girlfriends, neighbor’s wives, I’ve given all that up till we get back to Mullingar, which I may never wanna do.” He says, before he starts to suggest for them to go try out the restaurant that they used to go when they were in the city. 

“Relax, we don’t have to do everything in the first hour.” Zayn tells his father. 

“Well, I want to make up for lost time.” Yasir says. “This is the first time we’ve ever been to New York together and actually liked each other.” He points out. “Hey, let’s go ice skating? You wanna go?” 

“Dad…” Zayn whines. 

“Okay, well, then let’s check out the Kristo exhibit in the park.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I can’t. I gotta go check in for my audition at Juilliard.” 

“Okay, well, then what about dinner afterwards.” Yasir says. “We can go to 2nd Avenue Deli, you and me and a couple of pounds of corned beef.” 

“You’re gonna be all right until then?” Zayn asks his father sceptically. 

Yasir nods and grins. “I’m gonna be great.”

**************

“Something is seriously wrong here.” Louis says once he enters the kitchen.

Niall who is currently eating orange, alone, starting to groan when he hears his brother’s voice. “Not now, Lou.” 

Louis shakes his head. “No, I mean it. This is important.” He says firmly. 

Niall raises his eyebrows, his eyes following his brother’s movement around the kitchen. “Important as in – I’m on fire important or like I just beat my game high score important?” 

“Both.” Louis replies, turning around to face his younger brother once he gets the orange from the fridge. “Get this. I feel great.” He says, standing at the opposite side of the kitchen’s table, facing his brother. 

Niall shakes his head. “I seriously can’t deal with you right now.” He tells his brother truthfully. His mind is filled with another thing at the moment and he really can’t deal with any of his brother’s issue. 

Apparently, Louis doesn’t get his brother’s point and ignoring Niall’s comments. “Think about it. I’ve got no reason to feel good.” He says, staring at Niall. “My life sucks. I just got fired. It’s too cold outside to do anything fun. Mom and Dad think I’m a joke.”

“You are a joke.” Niall deadpans. Secretly, he is hoping that Louis will leave him alone after that. 

And yet, once again, Louis doesn’t bulge an inch from his spot. “See? Exactly, I have no reason to be happy. But I am.” He tells his younger brother. “So I was thinking about it, how come?”

“I don’t know, you prayed?” Niall guesses, then he shakes his head. “No, wait, porn.” 

“Nope.” Louis says, with a popped ‘p.’. “Because of Julian.” He continues. 

Niall is so thankful that he has finished with his orange or else he will choke on the fruit as he hears the words that has come out from his brother’s mouth. “I’m sorry, um, you feel great because of the guy who almost filed a sexual harassment suit against you and got you fired?” 

Louis nods. “Because I apologized to him for getting bored with him after three days and treating him like crap. Like I dumped his ass, but then I said I was sorry and I meant it. And now I feel great.”

“Wow, must be nice to be you. So simple.” Niall deadpans. 

Louis grins, still staring at his brother with twinkles in his eyes. “So you know what I’m going to do?” 

Niall shrugs, too lazy to play the guessing game with his brother. “I don’t know. Find a new job?” 

“Well, since I have so much time, I’m going to apologize to every person that I’ve ever not called back or dumped or just dicked over. How great is that?” Louis says enthusiastically. 

Niall stares at his brother like the older boy has lost his mind and shakes his head. “Seriously, Lou, why can’t you just volunteer at a hospital?”

Louis ignores his brother’s comment and starts to open up a folded paper that he pulls out from his pocket. “I made a list.” He says, passing the paper to his brother. 

“Please tell me you didn’t.” Niall groans, starting to read the paper while Louis is moving to sit beside him. 

“I thought I would go in chronological order starting, you know, from 6th grade in school. Laura Lewis, she was the first who developed in my class. She let me touched them. But then I frenched Patricia..”

“You hooked up with Jack?!” Niall’s voice shrieks as he sees the name list on the paper. 

Louis mouth an ‘o’ and grabs the paper from Niall’s hand. “Oh, right, I don’t think you were supposed to know that.” He says. “The funny thing is that I keep coming up with more names to put on the list like just out of nowhere.” He adds, suddenly opening the cap of his pen and start to write down. “Like the Taco Bell guy, with the clock tattoo. Or was it Taco Time guy with a bell tattoo.” He furrows his eyebrows confusingly. “Anyways, how do you spell Cassandra?” 

Niall curses under his breath.

**************

“Hey, do you mind if I borrow that for a second?” Zayn asks, as the piano guy had finished with his playing. He has been standing along with the other audiences at the hall, watching the guy playing in public and he is amazed. And he is itchy to practice for one last time before his audition tomorrow.

“You any good?” The guys asks, gazing at Zayn. 

Zayn shrugs. “I’m okay.” He replies simply. 

The guys seems satisfied with the answer and nods before he lets Zayn to take over his spot. Zayn quickly sits down and starts to play, not really paying attention to his surroundings. He never notices how his playing gets larger audience than they guy before, so he is a little bit surprised when he hears applauds once he finishes. He blushes slightly once he turns around and faces the people. He looks down to put on his glove back. 

“You’ve been practicing.” 

Zayn’s head snaps up as he hears the voice. The voice that he once knew and loved. In a daze, Zayn walks closer to the person and hugs her tightly. “Perrie.” 

“I don’t even know what to say.” Zayn says with a smile when they pull away. “How are you? Uh, what are you doing here?” 

Perrie smiles. “I live here now, Zayn. I work nearby.” She tells the boy. “Forget about me though. What are you doing here?” 

“I’m just, I’m applying to schools.” Zayn stammers. “Uh, yeah, I mean, I came in to do that.” 

Perrie smiles and nods understandingly. “Juilliard. You got an audition.” She points out. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, my dad and I came in for that so it’s kinda cool.” 

Perrie’s smile falters slightly. “Your dad’s here with you..”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Zayn says. “I was supposed to meet him like 10 minutes ago.” He adds. “But you should totally come with me, because he would love to see you.” 

Perrie starts to feel panic and shakes her head quickly. “Oh, I can’t. I’m working.” She says, hoping that she can get away before she meets the older man. 

Zayn seems oblivious to Perrie’s change of demeanour and his eyes start to roam around, looking for his father. “Oh, there he is right now. Dad!” He calls out. 

Perrie turns around slightly, gulping nervously before her eyes meet with the older man’s eyes. Zayn laughs and shakes his head, not noticing anything that is happening at the moment. “How random is this? Right?” He asks his father. “She lives here now, can you believe that?” 

“It’s good to see you, Dr. Malik.” Perrie says politely. 

Zayn turns to look at Perrie again. “So come on, blow off work, come with us,” he playfully begs. 

Perrie shakes her head. “I can’t. Really.” She says, feeling guilty for blowing Zayn off but she doesn’t want to see the face of Dr. Malik at the moment. Not anymore. 

Zayn sighs in resignation. “Alright, okay, so, uh, breakfast tomorrow?” He asks, his voice hopeful. “Sounds good? There’s so much I wanna catch up on.” 

Perrie shakes her head a little, smiling at the boy, knowing that she can’t decline the offer after she looks at the hopeful look of the boy’s face. “Yeah, me too. Okay, call me.”

**************

“Perrie? This is Dr. Malik.” Yasir says through the speaker of the phone. “I know you have no reason to say yes but I’d like to see you.”

**************

“Guess what I just did?” Zayn asks as soon as the other person is picking up his call.

“Um, played the crap out of Haydn?” Niall guesses from the other end of line. He curls into himself, staring at the small frame on his bedside table. There is a picture of him and Zayn, one of his favorites of their pictures collection. 

Zayn nods eventhough he knows Niall can’t see him. “That too. But I was gonna tell you about the package I just sent you.” 

“You’re not gonna tell me what’s in it, are you?” Niall asks, knowing full well of Zayn’s way of teasing him. 

Zayn chuckles. “Uh, no, but you should get it tomorrow morning. Which is only couple of hours later for you. Sorry.” He apologizes, when he realizes about the time difference. 

Niall chuckles sleepily from the other end of the world. “That’s still mean.” He says, pointing out about Zayn’s ‘mysterious’ package. “Anyway, don’t apologize. You know I’m kinda insomniac anyway. So, how’s New York?” 

“New York’s great.” Zayn tells his boyfriend happily. “I managed to score on of the hotel’s stray cocktail hour pianos so I’ve been practicing like nonstop.” He says. “This is my first break in like three Powerbars.” 

Niall smiles, imagining about Zayn’s face, the expression of concentration that he always do when he plays the piano. “Oh, sounds like I’m really missing out,” he jokes. 

Zayn smiles slightly, clearing his throat before he continues. “So, listen, I, uh, I bumped into Perrie today.” 

A beat of silence. 

“Wow.” Niall says simply after a moment, glad that he is not facing Zayn at the moment. He is sure as hell that Zayn can detect his deer in headlight expression. “Um, Perrie. Really, uh, how is she?” 

“She’s good. She’s real good. You know, she was fine.” Zayn tells his boyfriend. “We didn’t really get a chance to talk long, but, uh, we were gonna maybe meet up again tomorrow.” 

Niall bites his lips, suddenly feeling more awaken than before. “But she seemed okay?” 

“Yeah.” Zayn replies. “Yeah, that was the thing. It was totally weird. It was like I used to have all these feelings and everything but I’m totally over it. It’s like running into my cousin.” He continues. “Anyway, I just want you to know. Reaction?” 

Niall blinks his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he hears Zayn’s question. “Uh, just surprised. Uh, are you gonna see her again?” 

“Yeah, I mean, unless if you have a problem with that.” 

Niall gulps nervously, biting his nails out of habit. “But she knows it’s your audition, right?” 

“Yeah.” Zayn replies simply. 

“I just wouldn’t want anything to throw you off.” Niall says, suddenly feeling so nervous. What if Perrie tells Zayn about the secret before his audition? 

Zayn shakes his head. “It won’t. We’re just catching up.” He tells Niall. “She gets all clingy, I’ll just walk out of the diner.” 

Niall hums, before he takes a deep breath and speaks up. “Well, then tell her I say hi.” 

Zayn smiles, feeling happy his boyfriend is so understanding. To be frank, he is really not having any other intention besides catching up with Perrie. “Thank you.” 

Niall nods, falling into silence before clearing his throat. “Well, uh, I should probably get some sleep and you should get some rest too, you got a big day coming up.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know, I feel pretty ready though.” Zayn says. He waits for his boyfriend to say something but when Niall keeps silent at the other end, he starts to get curious. “What?” 

“I was just..” Niall trails off. “I was just trying to find something better to say than I love you.” 

Zayn grins. “Well, I’ll take it.” 

Niall smiles, suddenly missing Zayn so much. “Then, I love you.” 

“I’ll call you first thing after my audition.”

**************

Yasir waves his hand, beckoning for the girl to come to his table. “Where is he?” Perrie asks when she reaches the table.

“He went to practice for a few hours.” Yasir replies to the girl. “Listen, I know you’re gonna see Zayn tomorrow and..”

“Save it. Really.” Perrie cuts Yasir off, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at the older man in front of her. “I listened to you once and it was a mistake.” She tells him. “I spent the last year regretting the fact that I didn’t tell Zayn the truth. I’m not gonna make that mistake again.”

Yasir nods. “I know.” He says understandingly. “I want you to tell him.” He adds. “For a year now, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought about what’s happened to you. Wondering how I could’ve done that, what you decided to do with the baby.” He says regretfully. 

Perrie shakes her head. “I’m not gonna tell you what I did.” 

“Good. Don’t. I don’t deserve it.” 

Perrie stares at the man. “You don’t even get it.” She says. “I was broke and pregnant and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have anyone I could trust except for you, and you, you sent me away, thinking that your money would make it all better.” 

Yasir nods, feeling guilty as hell as he listen to the girl’s words. “Yes, I did.” He says. “I made a terrible mistake with you, Perrie, and I am so sorry.” He apologizes. “I thought I was protecting Zayn, but I was just putting more lies between us.” 

“When I left, it was hard.” Perrie says. “And there were times when I didn’t know if I had the strength to make it. Turns out that I did.” She adds. “I came here tonight to tell you that. That was all.” 

“You know, I’ve never been a big believer in fate. I am a city man and I lived in the city for a very long time and I only saw a world that could be controlled by my own hands and since then, everything I’ve done, everything that’s happened to me has had a current of its own.” Yasir tells the girl. “Now, of all times, and I have to find meaning in that, and the only meaning that I can find is that all of my instincts, all of my intentions, are wrong.” He says. “I hope yours are better.” He adds, pausing slightly before he continues. “Tell him everything.” 

Perrie nods. “I plan to.”

**************

“The dude’s been in New York like a half an hour and he’s already sent you a care package. Does he ever run out of ways to be your bitch?” Louis says as he barges into Niall’s room and drops the box on bed.

Niall groans under his blanket, rolling his body slightly to see his brother, before he closes his eyes again. Louis though, starting to pull off Niall’s blanket and forcing his brother to open the box. And that’s what Niall does because what Louis wants, Louis gets, as usual. 

“Oohh, bagels.” Niall chirps happily once the box is opened. He pulls out the little card at the side of the box and smiles as he reads the words out loud. “You promised.” 

Louis’s eyes sparkles as he sees his favorite bagels are in the box too. “Lox! Score!” He says excitedly. 

Niall chuckles at his brother’s reaction. “Yep, those are all yours.” He says, looking at his brother. “So, like shouldn’t you be out, uh, apologizing or something?” 

Louis shakes his head. “I’m done. Cleared the whole list. Told them all I suck, I’m sorry.” 

“So how were they?” Niall asks curiously. 

“Uh, they’re pretty much fine.” Louis replies simply. “Couple of them got married already, some are at school. Two are modelling, thank you very much. And only one of them really porked out.” 

Niall grins. “Jodi Marie, huh?” He asks knowingly. 

Louis laughs and nods. “Saw that coming huh?” He asks and Niall hums in response. “Most of them dug the apology thing though. Yeah.” He replies, trying to remember all of the apologies that he had done. “One of them even told me I should call him. You think they’d learn.” 

Niall rolls his eyes, before he plops down, lying on his bed again. “Well, good job in your own really shallow. You’ve actually taken your first step towards respecting people.” 

“It was kinda weird seeing them all like that, you know.” Louis says, gazing at his brother. “They used to all be such a big deal to me and I was to them, but now they’re like fine without me.”

Niall raises his eyebrows. “You expected weeping?” 

Louis shrugs. “It was more like they all moved on, but they didn’t see me as someone that they would want to move on with, you know.” 

Niall grins and shakes his head at his brother. “Right. Well, you’ll settle down when the time is right,” he tells his brother gently. He knows sometimes what Louis needs is an assurance and kind words.

“When’s that?” 

“When it doesn’t feel like settling anymore.” Niall says and smiles at his brother. 

“Right.” Louis says and nods, though he still looks as clueless as he always be. “When’s that?” 

Niall shakes his head amusingly. “If you’re a normal person, I would say…” he says and pauses, not knowing exactly how to explain the words to his brother. “Okay, how about this, when you saw those people did you wish that you were with any of them still?” 

“No.” Louis replies truthfully. 

Niall nods. “Okay. Ever miss them while they’re gone?” 

Louis shrugs. “Sometimes in the shower, but mostly no.”

“So, there you go. You’ll know who you’re supposed to end up with when you actually miss them.” Niall tells his brother. 

Louis shrugs, but smiling gratefully at his brother before he starts to stand up. “I’m gonna take these in the kitchen before you inhale them all.” He says, grabbing the bagel box with him and leaves the room.

**************

“You’re seeing Perrie today.” Yasir points out as both he and Zayn are standing at the rooftop of their hotels, enjoying the view.

Zayn nods. “Yeah, all the way downtown.” He tells his father. “How long you think it’ll take me to get there from here?” 

Yasir looks down to see at the road. “Well, traffic’s pretty heavy, you should probably leave soon.”

Zayn nods, gazing at his father. He takes a deep breath before he starts to speak up. “So, I don’t know what’s gonna happen with my audition?” 

“I do.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, don’t jinx it.” He warns. “But, yeah, I was thinking that if they do make a mistake and decide to take me, I get to live here, that yeah, maybe, you know…”

“What?” Yasir asks confusingly. 

“Well, maybe you know, maybe you and Harry would want to come too.” Zayn tells his father. “Move here with me. I mean, come on, you love it here and you’ve been a mess ever since you and Amanda broke up. It’s not like your dating options are going to improve living in a microscopic town.” He adds. “I mean, here you have an entire city full of women like 10 years older than me that actually think you’re viable dating option. Perfect.” 

Yasir stares at his eldest son. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” 

“I’m not saying that I’m gonna live with you.” Zayn says. “I mean, you could go back to surgery, or not. You know, people here need free clinics as well.”

“I don’t know what to say.” 

Zayn shrugs. “It’s just, you know, you dragged us to Mullingar so that we could find a way to become a family and I thought you were insane at the time. You _were_ insane at the time.” He adds, earning a chuckle from his father. “I don’t know, somehow it worked. Everything you took us there to find, we got. I never thought I’d actually be saying this, but..” he says and pauses. “..It was the right thing to do. And you’re right, we’ve missed too much already, you know. Let’s keep it together.” 

Yasir is too overwhelmed to say anything. He pulls his son into a tight embrace. “Thank you, Zayn.” 

Zayn nods against his father’s shoulder, before they pull away. “All right, but if you get all sentimental on me, deal’s off. Okay?” 

Yasir nods, releasing a shaky breath. “No, I just..I never thought we’d get here.” 

“Well, the odds were against it.” 

Yasir smiles slightly at his son. “Well, I promise you, if you feel this way when the time comes, I will be right here with you.” He says firmly. 

Zayn smiles and nods. “All right, I gotta go meet Perrie.”

“I know.” 

“This is good, dad. It’s good.” Zayn says, not knowing how wrong he was.

**************

“Hey!” Zayn greets the girl with a grin on his face as he enters the coffee shop and spots Perrie. “Give me a hug.” He says. “Sorry, I’m late.” Zayn apologizes when they pull away and start to sit.

Perrie smiles at the guy in front of him. Zayn looks different from what he used to be a year ago. “So, are you nervous?” 

Zayn shakes his head, smiling. “No, no. I’m not nervous. Are you nervous?” 

Perrie grins and shakes her head. “Uh, I meant about your audition tomorrow, but it’s good to know I don’t have an effect on you.” 

“Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I was nervous when I first got here, but like 12 hours of straight practicing pretty much cure that so…” Zayn says. He pauses, staring at the girl in front of him, “So, I, uh, I’d almost given up on you.” 

Perrie raises her eyebrows. “How do you mean?” 

“Well, I looked for you back in Mullingar and Dublin. I thought maybe you’d disappeared for good.” Zayn tells her. 

“You were looking for me?” Perrie asks in surprise. She didn’t know that. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, even went to go see your band play.” He says. “By the way, they kinda suck without you, but uh, yeah, I mean, what made you decide to leave?” 

“Uh, you know, it’s just..” Perrie stammers. “It’s a long story.” 

“Well, I got time so..” Zayn says, leaning back against the chair casually. “Tell me everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Perrie tell Zayn everything? What will happen to Zayn and Niall? Stay tune...........


	17. Whenever your world starts crashing down, that's where you'll find me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from **[One Republic - All Fall Down](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwkgUF9tHRk)**

“Your back still hurts?” Bobby asks as he helps putting the thermometer into his wife’s mouth. His wife nods. “Well, I’m sure it’s just prolonged stress. Nothing some chamomile tea and a day without Louis won’t fix.” He tells his wife. “Out of curiosity, what ails you more, his utter lack of academic ambition or his inability to keep a job?” 

Maura, who still has thermometer sticking inside her mouth, shaking her head. She eyes Bobby, warning her husband to stop talking as they hear Louis’s voice approaching the kitchen. 

“Just getting some cream cheese for Niall’s bagels since I’m gonna eat them all.” Louis announces as soon as he enters the kitchen and heading straight to the fridge. Then he shakes his head. “And we’re out of it. It’s cool, I’m going to get them at the store. Do you need anything?” He asks his parents. 

Bobby shakes his head. “We’re fine.” 

Louis shrugs and smiles. “Okay then. See ya.” He says before walking out of the kitchen. 

Bobby glances at his watch, then he starts to pull out the thermometer from his wife’s mouth. “99.2” He reads the number out loud. “A little flush, nothing to be worried about.” He diagnoses. “But I dare say it just shot up to 2 degrees. You must not let Louis affect you so much.” He adds, smiling at his wife. 

Maura smiles tiredly, running a thumb on her temple, trying to ease the headache. “Well, I suppose not.” She says, chuckling slightly before she stands up to turn off the whistling kettle. 

“Well, I think we can both agree, it’s just gone too far with the boy.” Bobby asks, obviously still talking about Louis. “We’re not doing him any favors by allowing him to just stay here and filter away his time.” 

Maura pours down the hot water into her cup as she listens to her husband’s words. “Oh, I know you’re right. It’s…just wish there was a less drastic solution.” 

Bobby shrugs. “We’re asking him to get his own apartment in Mullingar. It’s a far _far_ cry from skid row.” 

Maura nods. “I know.”

“He’s not working, he’s not going to school. He is stuck in a perennial state of stasis with meals provided. What’s worse is that he seems to have even less direction now than when he graduated almost a year ago.” Bobby points out, slightly disappointed with the fact that his eldest son is still doing nothing at home after a year of graduation. 

Maura raises her eyebrows. “Has it really been almost a year?” She asks, quite disbelievingly. Time really does flies. 

Bobby nods. “It’s time, Maura.” 

Maura is about to say something else when another son of them enters the kitchen. The boy’s face is frowning and he sits on the kitchen stool with a heavy sigh. 

“Well, what’s the matter with you?” Maura asks curiously. 

“I got into Harvard.” Niall says, obviously not happy about the news by the tone of his voice and his frown. Dejectedly, he puts his face on the crook of his arm across the table. 

Maura and Bobby look at each other, raising their eyebrows and shake their heads in amusement. There are two types of people in this world apparently.

**************

“So then, Harry went through this, uh, hipster phase, then he got a crush on Louis, you know Niall’s brother but there is someone at school is crushing over him. It was actually kind of funny to watch my dad hearing all of that.” Zayn says animatedly, as he counting the stories to the girl who is sitting in front of him.

Perrie smiles, silently sipping her coffee. She puts her cup down, staring at the boy in front of her. “So, you guys are actually getting along now?” She asks, referencing to Zayn and Dr. Malik. From what she have heard for the last half an hour, Zayn and his father sounds like they can tolerate each other now. Better than the time when Perrie was working with them. 

Zayn nods and smiles. “Yeah. I don’t know if things got better in my life or got better in his life or we both just got tired of yelling but, uh, yeah, things are great.” He says. “I mean, like work, school, everything, just really, you know, great, really good.” 

Perrie nods, smiling, happy that the boy seems happier than he was before. “That’s awesome, Zayn. I’m really psyched for you.” She tells him sincerely. 

“You know, it’s weird. It’s like I spent half of my life thinking about Juilliard and now I’m finally here, it’s kind of…” Zayn trails off. 

“Scary?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah.” 

Perrie shrugs, shaking her head a little. “Well, I think it’s good though.” She says. “You know, to be scared. It means you actually have something worth losing.” 

“Thank you. Now I’m not freaked out at all.” Zayn deadpans, grinning at the girl. He stares at Perrie and smiles again. “Alright, okay. I wanna say something. I know it might sound a little weird but, uh, I’ve been rambling on for past half hour so..” 

Perrie chuckles slightly, shaking her head. “You haven’t been rambling. I’m interested.” 

Zayn nods, satisfied with the words. “Good, because you’re a large part of the reason that all these things are happening for me.” 

Perrie shakes her head. “That is so not true.” 

Zayn shrugs. “I mean, it’s like with you, music was life.” He tells the girl. “It wasn’t something you did because you were tortured or because your parents wanted you to.” He continues. “It was, I don’t know, it was like all this time I’ve been playing somewhere else in my mind and now I’m here. I’m in it. And I have you to thank for that.”

Perrie smiles, feeling so touched by Zayn’s words. “That might be the nicest thing anybody’s said to me in forever.” She admits truthfully. 

Zayn smiles at her. “No, I mean, it’s good. You need to know that you kicked my ass which was good because it meant that Niall only had to kick it half as much.” He says, his smile is getting bigger when he slips out Niall’s name from his mouth. 

Perrie grins knowingly, raising her eyebrows at the boy. “Niall, huh?” She starts to tease. “You guys..”

Zayn blushes slightly before he nods. “Yeah. Things have been pretty great. I mean, you trained me well. I think I made all my major mistakes with you.” 

“You didn’t make that many mistakes.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Uh, are you kidding me? I have like a 30 hour tape of shame highlight reel that I can pull up at any time in my head.” He points out. 

Perrie chuckles. “Okay.” She says, nodding, not really wanting to prolong the issue with Zayn. “Well, I’m happy to be the stunt girlfriend.”

Zayn laughs. “No, I mean, seriously I mean, I think part of the reason that I wanted to like get together with you here today was just to say thank you.” He tells the girl. And when Perrie is smiling at him silently, he nods. “Yes, I know, I’m made of cheese.”

Perrie can feel her eyes start to prickle, brimming with tears, as she stares at Zayn. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“Well, you can skip you’re welcome and you can go straight to telling me what you’ve been up to.” Zayn says. “I’ve been sitting here talking about myself for a while, I’m kinda bored so..whatcha got?” 

Perrie feels her heart drops at the question. She knows that the question is inevitable but she really doesn’t know what her answer to that question is, especially coming from Zayn. 

“So, how did you end up in New York?” Zayn starts when Perrie still hasn’t start to say anything. “Did you finally transfer into NYU?” He asks curiously. 

Perrie shakes her head. “No, I’m actually not in school right now.” She tells the boy. “Take too much time away from my waitressing job, right? And uh, MCC was just starting to feel like a stall.” She continues. “Taking classes didn’t really matter. People who didn’t want to do much with themselves. Just wasn’t my lifestyle anymore.”

“So you outgrew your beer bong.” Zayn jokes, earning a chuckle from the girl and she nods. “So, what’s your lifestyle here?” He asks, straighten up, giving his full attention to listen to Perrie’s story. 

Perrie turns her head to her left, glancing at the window beside them briefly. Then she turns to face Zayn again. “Well, uh, my older brother lives here. He’s got this great apartment in the Village. My job isn’t terrible. The people are, uh, well, they’re all pretty much directionless 20 something who’ve dropped out of various community colleges. We’ve kinda got a support group going.” 

“Well, I mean, that’s, that’s good. Right?” Zayn says carefully, afraid that he’ll offend the girl with his words. “Not terrible is still technically better than terrible. Plus, you probably got way more time with your music now.” 

“Yeah, uh, I haven’t actually done much of that since I left the band.” Perrie admits truthfully. When Zayn is staring at her confusingly, his eyes curious and Perrie feels like she wants to curl up and dies instead of telling Zayn the truth. “I’ve just been, I’ve been taking some time.” She tries to explain. “It’s good. It’s good, really.” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, yeah, I mean, it sounds good.” He says. Then, the awkward silence. “Are you okay?” He asks as he can see how Perrie’s expression has changed into less than happy, not like for the past half an hour. 

Perrie swallows, trying so hard not to crumble under Zayn’s gaze. “It’s just not what you expect, you know?” 

“What’s not?” 

“Life after high school.” Perrie replies. “I mean I know you think you’ve got it figured out when you pick your major and pack your bags, but it’s just…it’s not as easy as that.” She continues. “Sometimes I look at the life that we choose for ourselves when we’re what, 17? It seems crazy. I mean how do we know what we want then. What if something terrible happens? Who can predict that? Where’s the Plan B?” She adds, turning her head to glance at the window again, facing the sidewalk. “There’s all these people out there living the Plan B, just, confused, second-guessing.” 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Zayn asks gently, knowing somehow Perrie is upset at the moment. He can tell by the way she stiffens at the question and he knows that something is bothering the girl. 

Perrie blinks back her tears. “I don’t know if I should.” She says before she turns her head to face Zayn again. 

Zayn smiles a little, trying to cheer her up. “Look, things aren’t going that great for you right now, I mean, I get it.”

Perrie shakes her head. “But you don’t.” 

“What? So explain it to me.” Zayn says and when Perrie just stare at him silently, he shakes his head. “You think I’m still a kid, don’t you?” 

“No, that’s not it.” Perrie says firmly. 

“No, I mean, we’ve been down this road before.” Zayn points out, shrugging a little. 

“It’s not that.” Perrie says, trying to convince Zayn that’s not her point at all. There is a big secret that is filled inside her head and she is really struggling with the decision whether she should tell Zayn about it or just leave him alone. 

Zayn shakes his head. “Nah, it’s okay. I mean, it used to bother me, but it doesn’t anymore. I’m kinda over it. No offense.” He continues, though he is slightly irritated by the way Perrie is treating him at the moment. “For what it’s worth, I was really _really_ psyched to see you today, I meant everything I said and I’m sorry that you still feel like you can’t talk to me about anything that matters.” 

“I don’t feel that way.” Perrie tells the boy, her voice starts to break. There are too many emotions running through her at the moment. 

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, well, I should get going so..” He says, starting to pull on his jacket and standing up. 

“Zayn, wait.” Perrie calls out, standing up from her seat too. 

Zayn shakes his head. “That’s okay, alright. We don’t need to keep doing this.” 

Perrie stares at the boy. “Yes, we do.” She says. “I didn’t just leave, Zayn. I got pregnant.” 

And Zayn freezes.

**************

“They’re really nice people, Zayn.”

Zayn blinks his eyes out of his reverie when he hears Perrie’s voice. “Uh, who? Sorry, who’s nice?” He asks, staring at the girl in front of him. After the big shock of Perrie’s revelation, they both start to sit down again. Zayn is thankful because he feels like he can’t even standing still at the moment. Perrie started to explain everything, he thinks, but he didn’t hear much of it apparently. His mind is too jumbling to think about anything else at the moment. He has a child. A child. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Wagley.” Perrie replies. “I met them when they came to the hospital.” 

“They’re the ones who took the baby.” Zayn says slowly, still trying to process the information. 

Perrie nods. “They’re the adoptive parents, yeah.” She tells him. “And you would like them I swear..”

Zayn shakes his head. “No, stop. Stop. I don’t want to hear about them yet, alright?” 

“I’m sorry.” Perrie apologizes softly, knowing that Zayn is truly upset at the moment. 

Zayn clears his throat, staring at Perrie with a piercing gaze. “So, you had a baby. You had _our_ baby.” 

Perrie sighs before she speaks up. “I thought about not having it. I planned on not having it, but then, uh, I couldn’t. I don’t know why.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Uh, where was I?” He asks. “When you found out, I mean, when did you find out?” 

Perrie blinks her eyes, trying to stop the tears that are about to fall any moment. “It was last summer.” 

“So, I was already gone, I mean, I was already here in New York for the summer program?” Zayn asks. 

Perrie swallows thickly, shaking her head. “No, I found out before you left.” 

Zayn chuckles humourlessly, shaking his head disbelievingly. “So I wasn’t even a factor?” 

“Of course you were.” Perrie says firmly. 

“No! I mean, obviously, I wasn’t.” Zayn says, his voice rising. “I mean, you got pregnant. _I_ got you pregnant and you didn’t even tell me. What? Did you think I was too young or too stupid?” 

Perrie shakes her head. “No. No.”

“Then why would you do that to me?” Zayn asks. “Why wouldn’t you come to me?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“I would’ve done something.” Zayn tells her. 

Perrie nods. “I know that.” She tells him. She knew Zayn would’ve done something but she didn’t realize that sooner. 

“I would’ve been there for you. I would’ve done anything.” Zayn points out. 

“I know that.” Perrie repeats again, more firmly. 

Zayn shakes his head. “It’s like, I don’t even know who you are.” 

Perrie feels her heart drops. “Please don’t say that.” She pleads. 

“No, you’re not the person I thought I was in love with. You’re not even a faction of that person. You’re just..” Zayn trails off. He doesn’t even know what to say anymore. It’s all seems surreal at the moment. 

“I know…” Perrie says, her voice cracking as she starts to cry. 

“No, you don’t know! Okay? You have no idea. You didn’t just take away this baby from me or this decision or whatever it is you think you think you took away, okay?” Zayn says angrily. “You took away a year of my life that I spent with somebody that I can’t even look at now! Every memory is just gone!” 

“I’m sorry.” Perrie says between her tears. She knows Zayn is hurting, her heart is hurting for him too. 

“And then you just came to New York without telling anybody.” 

“No, I, uh…” Perrie says and pauses. “I stayed in Dublin at first. I had him there.” She says, wiping some of her tears away. “I’ve only been in New York for two months.” 

“What did you just say?” Zayn asks, blinking his eyes in shock, his voice quieten. 

“It was a boy.” Perrie replies. “I’m so sorry, Zayn. I just…I hope you can find it in you to forgive me.” She says, wiping away her remaining tears, before she stands up, bringing her bag and jacket with her and walks out of the coffee shop.

**************

Niall bites his nail nervously as he stares at the clock, calculating the time difference between New York and Ireland in his head, knowing that Zayn is already meeting up with Perrie at the moment. And he is still waiting for any text or phone call from Zayn but yet, nothing.

“It’s 3 o’clock in New York.” Niall says when his mother enters his room, but his eyes are still glued on the wall’s clock. “Probably together now. He says she looks good. She says he looks good.” 

Maura shakes her head as she stares at her youngest son. “This isn’t healthy, honey.” 

“You think she brought the baby?” Niall asks, still not turning his head to face his mother. 

Maura steps closer to the edge of her son’s bed, trying to get him to give his attention to her. “We’re not even sure that she had the baby.” She points out. 

Niall finally turns his head to look at his mother. “Yeah, but what if she did?” He asks. “Probably walking in the park, right? I mean that’s what they would do. It would be so weird for Zayn, don’t you think?” 

Maura nods. “It would be difficult.” 

“Zayn is an amazing guy. He would feel responsible for this and if she had the baby, you know, that’s huge.” Niall tells his mother. “Probably a sign that they should be together.” 

“A sign?” Maura asks confusingly. 

Niall nods, straighten up slightly from his position and leans against the bedpost. “Do you ever think about destiny? Like what I mean is like how much is your life you actually control and how much of your life is just handed to you whether you like it or not?” 

“Oh, heavens, I don’t know.” Maura replies to her youngest son, before sitting at the edge of the bed, facing him. “People get degrees to discuss that type of thing.” 

“Like this envelope for instance.” Niall says, fishing out the big envelope from his bedside table. “What if it wasn’t from Harvard? What if it an acceptance letter from Princeton instead?” 

“You didn’t apply to Princeton.” Maura points out. 

Niall nods. “I know, that’s what I’m saying. What if I had?” He asks. “Everything in my whole life was pointing me in that direction. Maybe dad’s big campaign wasn’t such a joke. Maybe it was the universe trying to tell me something and I just ignored it.” He rambles on.

Maura raises her eyebrows as she stares at her son. “So your father’s wishes are now part of the great universal plan, he’d love that.” She deadpans. 

“No.” Niall replies. “But mom, think about it. There was a turning point in my life this year.” He says. “Well, probably more than one, but one really big one when Zayn came back from New York, we broke up.” He tells his mother. “Maybe we should’ve stayed like that.” 

Maura shakes her head. “Well, you can play the ‘what if’ game until the cows come home. I mean, you can unravel your whole life thinking that way.”

Niall doesn’t reply, and he glances at the clock again. “It’s 3:05.” He says. “I wonder what they’re doing now.”

**************

“You’re back.” Yasir says, as soon as Zayn enters their hotel room.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s late.” Zayn apologizes before he pulls off his jacket and throws it on the bed. “I was just…I was with Perrie.” 

Yasir nods. “All this time?” 

Zayn gazes at his father, shaking his head. “No, no, no.” He says. “She, uh…you know, I don’t even know how to say this, but, uh, she, uh, she was..” He continues, voice shaky, not really looking at his father. “She got pregnant.” He says and pauses. “And it was mine.” He finishes. “I know that it’s almost impossible to process and you have no idea how weird it is to be saying this to you right now. I can’t imagine what you must be thinking.” 

Yasir shakes his head. “I’m not thinking anything.” He tells Zayn. “What are you thinking?” 

“To tell you the truth, I feel a little sick.” Zayn admits truthfully. Then he starts to pace back and forth, shaking his head. “I mean, she had it a few months ago, it was a boy and uh, and now he’s gone.” 

“What do you mean gone?” 

“She gave him up for adoption. And that’s pretty much it. I mean, uh, it’s all finished. It’s all taken care of and I had absolutely nothing to do with it, uh, except for the part that I did so..” Zayn trails off. He doesn’t know what to say at the moment. He is too overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. 

Yasir nods again. “That’s all she said?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I mean, I mean she tried to explain the whole adoption process but I couldn’t really listen.” He tells his father. “I mean, it’s sick. Isn’t it? Cause I, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now?” 

Yasir stares at his son. “What do you want to do?” 

Zayn scoffs. “Well, what do I want to do? I want to report her! I want to make her feel like just half of what I’m feeling! I mean, it’s gotta be something illegal about this, right? You can’t just make a decision like this and not tell the guy can you?” He asks, visibly upset with this whole situation. 

“I don’t know.” 

“It’s like…it’s like..I…I..hate her! You know what I mean, I hate her! I never thought that I could have this much hate in my body, but now it’s like the only thing that I’ll ever feel.” Zayn spits angrily. 

“Don’t hate her, Zayn.” Yasir says, trying to calm his son down. 

Zayn shakes his head. “It’s like how could she do this to me?! How could she do this to anybody especially somebody that she’s supposedly loved?!” 

“She did love you.”

“NO! She couldn’t have! She did not love me! If she loved me, she would have not been able to do this! I mean, she just gave him away! She just…she just gave him away!” Zayn says, in border of hysteria. He doesn’t know what to feel, all of the feelings are coming strong and all he can deal at the moment is the anger. 

Yasir steps closer towards his son and shakes his head. “You don’t understand how frightened she was. She didn’t know what to do or where to go.” 

Zayn stops pacing. He blinks his eyes, trying to process on his father’s words before he turns to face him. “What are you talking about? How could you know that?” 

Yasir gazes at his son, knowing that what he is about to tell the boy will shatter their relationship forever but he just can’t take the guilt feeling anymore. He needs to come clean. “Because she came to me first.” He says. “She told me she was pregnant. She asked for my help.” 

Zayn’s mouth agape, staring disbelievingly at his father. “What?” He asks quietly, his body shaking through a feeling that he doesn’t even know how to comprehend at the moment. 

“She was going to tell you. She wanted to, but I asked her not to. I told her that I would pay for everything, but she wouldn’t take it. She wouldn’t take any money from me.” Yasir confesses. 

Zayn shakes his head, still cannot believe his ears. “What?” He repeats, this time, louder than before. 

“I asked her to leave and she left. She did love you Zayn, you have to know that. I’m sorry, but this was my doing not hers. If you’re gonna blame anybody, blame me.” 

“I don’t wanna hear any of this! Stop it! Just stop it!” Zayn yells, shaking his head furiously. He doesn’t want to hear any of his father’s words anymore. How could he? How could his own father keeping this secret from him? And for months? His father lies to him for months! How stupid can he be! 

“Listen to me. Listen to me, you have to understand..”

Zayn backs away from his father as the man tries to take a step closer towards him. “No! Stop it! Stop talking! I don’t want to hear it!” 

“I just..I just wanted to put…” 

“No! I don’t want to hear it!” Zayn yells, trying to push past around his father as the man blocks his way. 

“You’ve been through so much pain, I didn’t want you to go through any more!” Yasir says, trying to get his son to listen to his reason for what he had done. 

Zayn shakes his head, refusing to hear about anything else. He pushes his father’s away and practically runs towards the door. “Just leave me alone!”

**************

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” Louis asks when he hears footsteps entering the kitchen and turns around to see his father in his pyjama robe.

Bobby shakes his head. “Uh, afraid not.” 

“Sounds like it was pretty crazy today.” Louis says, glancing at his father. “With Kyle. Everyone’s talking about it. Was it brutal?” He asks about the patient that he has been hearing around the small town earlier that day. 

“It was fairly dramatic I suppose.” Bobby replies. 

Louis nods. “Man, you had to put your hands right into his stomach, huh? Guts and everything, right?” 

“That’s generally the idea.” 

“Man, that is cool.” Louis says in amazement. 

Bobby closes the fridge’s door before looking at his son. “It’s not a horror film, Louis. The boy could die. Show a little respect.” He says sternly. 

“That’s not what I meant.” Louis replies defensively. “Never mind. I still don’t get it though. How it happened? I mean, you know, what are the odds? Unless he was holding his gun different or something.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “What are you talking about now?” 

Louis shrugs. “Well, think about it. If it was his gun that went off, you think he would have shot himself in the foot or the leg, but stomach? Kind of random.” He points out. Then he starts to stand up. “You can have the kitchen back. By the way, I signed up for Valley Rentals today.”

“What?” 

Louis nods. “Well, I figured it’s about time I move out of here.” He tells his father. “I can be out of here in the next month if I find something.” 

Bobby stares at his eldest son, looking for any indication if the boy is joking, but when he sees the serious expression on Louis’s face, he nods. “That sounds fine.”

**************

“Are we taking down the bank, cause I left my lock at home so…” Niall says playfully as his mother is taking out the safe box at the bank’s vault. “Whatcha got in there?” He asks curiously when she puts down the box on the table.

“Oh, just some momentos.” Maura replies. “My mother’s engagement ring. Aunt Mabel’s opals, and of course our Swiss bank account numbers.” 

“Seriously?” 

“No.” Maura says, laughing at her son’s face, pinching his cheek briefly. Then she pulls out an envelope and passes it to him. 

Niall takes the envelope and looks at his mother curiously. “What’s this?” He asks, opening the envelope to see the content. Then he raises his eyebrows. “A ticket to Rome?” 

Maura smiles and nods. “One way ticket.” She tells her son. “Did I ever tell you what I wanted my major to be?” 

“Social sciences, right?” Niall guesses. 

Maura shakes her head. “No, what I wanted it to be.” She says. “Art History. I loved museums. I used to pour over old books trying to imagine what the classics actually looked like.” 

Niall smiles at his mother. “That’s so cool.” 

Maura nods. “Day of my high school graduation, I found myself at a crossroad of sorts, I could stay home and wait for your father to propose or I could go to Italy and explore.” She tells him. “Return only after having mastered the language or worked in a famous art gallery, both.” 

“I’d be all about the gelato.” Niall says, grinning at his mother. 

Maura chuckles. “That too.” She nods. “Needless to say, Italy won. So, I packed my bags and I booked myself a tour and the morning that I was supposed to leave, I opened the door and there was your father waiting for me on the front porch. On bended knee, no less.” 

Niall coos and Maura’s smile widens. “Yeah, and my mother was furious of course, but, oh, I don’t know, I was young and romantic and changing plans at the drop of the hat seemed exciting in its own way.” 

“So dad knew you were leaving and he didn’t want to lose you.” Niall nods and concludes. “Good for him.” 

Maura shakes her head. “Oh, he didn’t know. I never told him I was going.” She tells Niall. “I was afraid if I did, I would lose my nerve. I was just gonna call him when I got there.”

Niall stares at his mother. “So then he just showed up on your doorstep the day that you were supposed to leave.” He points out. “So I get it, you guys were destined to be together.” 

Maura laughs, shaking her head. “That is exactly wrong.” She says. “No, I made a decision on that day. I could’ve made the other one but I didn’t, so here I am.” She adds. “I’ve been listening to you talk about your life as though as it’s something that’s happening to you but that’s not the case.” She points out. “It’s the choices we make that fill in the details of our plan, not the other way around. You understand?” 

Niall hums, contemplating on his mother’s words for a moment. “So you’re saying that I shouldn’t retroactively breakup with Zayn just to appease the Fates.” 

“I’ll smack you silly, if you do.” Maura warns. 

Niall chuckles, knowing full well that his mother, in fact, his whole family, loves Zayn too. “You ever wonder might have happened if you took that flight?” 

Maura smiles softly. “I kept the ticket, didn’t I?”

**************

“Zayn Malik.” Once. “Zayn Malik.” Twice.

Yasir enters the hall, glancing around only to find there is no sign of Zayn among the people that are going to be audition. He sighs heavily. 

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Zayn says, making his father to turn around to look at him. “This huge thing just slipping away totally out of your control. Nothing you can do.” 

“Are you okay?” Yasir asks concernedly. “Where have you been?” 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Why do you care?” 

“Well, there’s still time. Get up there.” Yasir says and when Zayn just standing there, not moving, he shakes his head. “Zayn, please, think about what you’re doing.” 

“I did think about it.” Zayn says. “I thought about it all night, that’s how I realized this is the only thing I can do.” He adds. “It’s the only part of my life I have any control over now. You took everything else.” He tells his father coldly. 

“That’s not true.” Yasir argues. “This is your whole life. All of your focus is right here.” 

“All my focus, is gone.” Zayn says. “Vanished.” He adds. “It’s funny how that happens.”

Yasir shakes his head. “Zayn, you are better than this. You are better than me. All you have to do is get through this audition and then you can tell me all the things that you think…”

“I don’t want to get through it.” Zayn says, cutting his father’s off. “This means nothing to me anymore. You ruined it. You took the one thing that I loved and you made it repulsive. I think about all the time I spent in that studio, that bribe.”

“That wasn’t a bribe.” Yasir tells his son firmly. “I didn’t build that studio in order to..”

“Stop. Lying to me.” Zayn says, gritting his teeth furiously. 

Yasir shakes his head. “Zayn, you are making a mistake. You are going to regret this.” 

“Do you?” Zayn challenges, staring at his father. “Do you regret it?” 

Yasir nods. “Oh, yes. Yes, I do.”

Zayn snorts, shaking his head a little. “No, you don’t. You really don’t.” He says. “You know that God complex that everybody talks about, the one that surgeons are supposed to have? You still have it. You still think your judgement is better than everybody else’s. You still think you did the right thing.” 

“I honestly never thought it would end up like this.” Yasir admits truthfully. 

Zayn gazes at his father. “How did you think it was gonna end up?” 

“I didn’t know, but at the time it seemed the best way, the only way, to keep you safe.” Yasir says. “I thought it was the right thing to do. I really did.” 

“Well, you thought wrong.” Zayn quips. “Now you don’t get to make any more decisions about my life.” He points out. “You don’t get to control my future ever again.” 

“Zayn, don’t do this just to hurt me.” Yasir pleads. 

“That’s not the only reason I’m doing it.” Zayn says. “But it’s the _best_ reason.” He adds, before he turns around and walk out of the hall.

**************

Bobby raises his eyebrows when he enters the backdoor and walks through the kitchen. Loud music is playing and he is not surprised to find his eldest son at the kitchen. “Dare I ask?” He says when Louis turns around and spots him.

Louis turns off the radio and shrugs. “I’m cleaning out the refrigerator?” He says. “Mom told me to do it, so…”

Bobby shakes his head. “Three years ago as I recall.” He deadpans sarcastically.

“Well, better late than never, right?” Louis says. “Plus, I may or may not have spilled a half a can of cheese the other day and it’s time to face the nasty.”

Bobby shakes his head amusingly at his eldest son. “So, what do you have here? Some sort of system?” He asks, pulling his coat off and starts to examine the things on the kitchen’s counter. 

Louis grins. “Yeah, check it out. It’s like filing except with food.” He says. “This, here is food that’s still good.” He points to the left part on the counter. “This, is gonna get saved or eaten.” He says, pointing out to the middle side. “And this right here, this stuff claims to be expired.” He adds before poking his head into the fridge, looking for another things. “So, how’s Kyle?” 

“He didn’t make it, Louis.” 

Louis sighs. “Oh man.” He says, feeling sad for that short life of a little boy. “Hey, can I just..” Louis trails off, glancing at his father as he stands nearby the kitchen counter again. “Remember last night how I said I thought you were cool? With the guts and stuff.” 

Bobby nods. “Yeah.” 

“All I was saying, I think it’s cool what you do.” Louis says. “You save people’s lives. And I know, you’re a doctor, but I just forget that. I mean, I can’t, but look at you and just see my dad, you know.” He adds. “It’s all I meant so, if it came out wrong, I’m sorry.” 

Bobby smiles softly at his son. “It’s all right. I didn’t give you much of a chance to explain yourself.” He says. “And, uh, listen Louis, about the apartment.”

Louis shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I know you guys are tired of having me be here.” He says. “It would be better for me to have my own place when I go to MCC next year.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “MCC?” 

Louis nods. “Yeah, I figured it’s time for me to go back to school, don’t you think?” He asks his father. “I figured I may not be able to save lives the way you do, but there’s other stuff. I mean, like the guys that run the ambulances.”

“EMT workers?” 

“Yeah, those guys.” Louis says and shrugs. “I don’t know, I’m just thinking. Feels good to think about something.”

Bobby couldn’t be more proud of his eldest son.

**************

Niall steps out of his house hastily, and sighs in relief when he sees Zayn is walking towards the front porch, wheeling his luggage slowly. “Why wouldn’t you let me pick you up from the airport?” He asks, approaching his boyfriend.

Zayn glances up from the ground, shrugging a little. “I took the bas.” He replies. “It’s okay. I needed to clear my head.” 

Niall feels his heart breaks as he looks at his boyfriend’s face as he stands in front of him. Zayn looks so devastated that Niall can’t help but feels like he wants to cry for his boyfriend’s pain at the moment. He shifts closer and pulls Zayn into a hug. “Are you okay?” He asks before he pulls away. “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

Zayn nods. “I know.” He replies tiredly. He is completely tired, physically and emotionally. 

“So have you called Perrie? I mean, does she..?” Niall asks, and pauses. “Does that even matter? I don’t, I don’t really know what I’m asking here.” He rambles on, not knowing what to say at the moment. 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know.” He replies simply. 

Niall nods understandingly. He knows Zayn is exhausted. It is clearly shown on the other boy’s face. “Okay.” He says, before he laughs nervously, staring at Zayn. “I’m not really helping the situation.” He says helplessly, starting to turn around, grabbing Zayn’s duffel along with him. “Let’s uh, let’s go inside.” 

They both start to make their way to the front door when suddenly Zayn stops walking. “Wait.” 

Niall stops walking too, and turns around to look at his boyfriend in concern. “Why?” He asks worriedly. 

Zayn clears his throat before he starts to speak up. “I just need to, uh..”

“What?” Niall asks, gazing at his boyfriend, worried clearly shown in his eyes. 

Zayn swallows thickly, staring at his boyfriend. “I don’t know what I’m doing right now, Niall.” He murmurs. 

Niall nods in understanding. “Then we’ll figure it out together.” He says firmly, trying to convince his boyfriend that he will be besides him, to figure things out with him and not leaving him alone. 

“You mean, you don’t hate me?” Zayn asks quietly, eyes brimming with tears. 

Niall stares at his boyfriend, shaking his head a little. “Why would I hate you?” 

Zayn shrugs and shakes his head. “I don’t know, things are just really weird right now.” He says, pausing slightly before he continues. “You know when I was sitting at the airport, after he left, I sat there for like two hours. I was looking at all the different flights, thinking about any place I could go, any plane I could get on to get away, anywhere but here.” He admits, staring at Niall. “And then you called.”

Niall swallows thickly. “You think I wouldn’t call?” 

Zayn shrugs a little, looking so lost that Niall has a hard time trying to contain his emotion too. “I’m just really messed up right now. Will you help me?” Zayn asks brokenly. And then he starts to cry. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Or where I’m going.” He says between his tears. He doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t know who else that he could trust besides Niall at the moment. His world is falling down and he really _really_ needs someone to hold him so that he won’t crumble.

Niall blinks back his tears when he sees Zayn starts to cry. He knows he has to be strong for Zayn. For once, he needs to be there for Zayn, as Zayn has always been besides him when he was at the low point of his life. Niall steps closer to his boyfriend, wiping the tears away. He hates it when he sees Zayn is upset or sad. It reminds me of the way Zayn used to be sad because of his mother’s death when they first met each other couple of years before. Niall grabs his boyfriend’s hand, staring at those beautiful hazel eyes that he loves so much. “Of course I will help you, Zayn.”


	18. Oh, it's in the faintest cry, It's in the lover's eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Is anyone still here? Anyway, I've finished the first draft until the last chapter (including the epilogue, that's why I put /22 chapters instead of 21). So basically, the ending for this third part is already being written, stored in my desktop, waiting to be redefine and proofread. :D 
> 
> And so, since the first part of this series, I think I mentioned that the whole [**Small Town**](http://archiveofourown.org/series/56074) series will consist of four series altogether. So.....at first I think I'll stop at three, but...in the middle of finishing this, I just realized that I need to give every characters the closure that they deserve, hence, part four is still need to be written to complete the whole series. Plus, since this is based and credited on the Everwood tv series, I feel bad if I don't do it justice. And with that being decided, I'm relief to say that this chapter until chapter 22, is not the overall ending of the series. :) 
> 
> Anyway, here is the chapter 18 for you guys, enjoy! 
> 
> Title taken from [**Imagine Dragons - My Fault**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SQhPH4TuQA)

Zayn doesn’t know what time is it at the moment. But he knows by the light that is coming through the window, it’s already morning. He rubs his eyes, noticing his buzzing phone on the table and stare at it silently. The phone keeps blinking with his father’s name appears on the screen. Of course, Zayn thinks. 

“Ah, good morning.” Zayn turns his head at the bright voice that is coming towards him. Standing there is Dr. Horan, smiling brightly at him, with his hand is full with a paper on the left and a cup of coffee on the right. Zayn nods politely, wondering how in the world that the whole Horan family can be so alive and chirpy in the morning, where he himself likes to sleep instead. 

Bobby stares at the silent boy, walking closer to him. “Hope the couch wasn’t too uncomfortable?” He asks, feeling a little bad for letting the boy sleeping on the couch the night before. 

Zayn shrugs slightly, shaking his head. “Uh, it was fine. Thank you.” 

Bobby nods, satisfied with the answer. He glances around the room. “And the heat wasn’t too much? This room has always had the most obstinate draft even with the storm windows.” 

Zayn is about to reply when suddenly Niall enters the living room, rolling his eyes fondly at his father as he walks by the old man. “Sorry, I should have warned you, my dad’s pretty much the definition of a morning person.” He says, before plopping down on the couch, taking his seat beside his boyfriend. He leans down slightly to give him a brief kiss on the cheek. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Zayn stares at Niall, shrugging. “Uh, not really.” He replies truthfully. How could he? His mind was filled with so many thoughts that he can’t even close his eyes without thinking about the baby. _His_ baby. 

Niall looks at his boyfriend sympathetically. “Well, you can stay as long as you want.” He tells him, before turns his head around slightly to look at his father. “We can make up the guest room, right?” 

Bobby knows that the question is inevitable but he can’t help but dreading it anyway. He stares at the two boys in front of him. “Uh, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” He hesitates. “I spoke with your father last night, Zayn. He’s really very concerned about you.” 

Zayn almost snort out loud but then he realizes that he is not in front of his father. “Well, you’ll probably file that one under too little too late.” He replies instead. 

Bobby nods understandingly. “Well, nonetheless, I did promise him that I would..”

Zayn gets the point, really. And so, he just shake his head slightly. “That’s okay. I’m not staying long.” He tells the older man, looking at him. “Thank you for letting me crash last night, though, I really appreciate it.” 

Bobby smiles, relieve that at least Zayn understands on his point. It’s not that he’s not allowing Zayn to stay at his house, but as a father, he understands Yasir’s feeling. “Well, you’re more than welcome.” He says, standing up, grabbing the paper with him. “Well, then, should anyone care for a tofu scramble, I’ll just be in the kitchen.” He tells both boys before he dashes out of the living room. 

Niall watches as his father leaves, before he turns to look at his boyfriend again. “Are you sure cause I can overrule him. He just thinks he’s in charge.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, it’s okay, I mean, I can’t stay here forever.” He tells his boyfriend, and attempt to smile to assure his boyfriend that he is alright. 

Apparently, Niall can see through his façade as the boy nods, gazing at his boyfriend in concern. “Feeling any better?” 

Zayn sighs, taking a deep breath before he replies. “Not really.” He pauses. “Last night I was a wreck. Now I’m a tired wreck. Maybe later I can catch a 24 hour bug and be a sick, tired wreck.” He continues. “You know, I just keep laying here, you know replaying the scene in my mind, like trying to picture it. How she told him. Was it at our house? Did she come by the office?” 

“Zayn..”

“Three days ago, everything was perfect. I was in New York. I was getting pumped up for my audition, but then it’s like, ‘no, I’m sorry. You’re Zayn Malik. Things are going way too good for you right now’.” Zayn rants on before he stops, staring at Niall intently. “You realize that you’re the only person left that I can trust?” He states. “I don’t know if it’s sad or what.”

Niall nods, bringing his hand to stroke on Zayn’s cheek gently. “I just want to help.” He tells his boyfriend sincerely. “But I don’t really know what to do so you’re just gonna have to tell me, okay?” 

Zayn brings his hand up too, covering Niall’s hand with his own, stroking his thumb gently on his boyfriend’s hand, looking for assurance. “I’m just gonna have to figure it out on my own.” 

Niall nods understandingly. He moves slightly until he can lay his head on Zayn’s shoulder. “What are you gonna do?” He asks quietly. 

Zayn cards Niall’s hair, burying his chin into part of his boyfriend’s soft hair. “I don’t know.” He replies truthfully. “But I gotta do something.”

**************

Awkward silence.

It has never been in the case before. But at the moment, as they are sitting together at their usual table during lunch, Niall is at loss on what to say, as Zayn is practically losing in his own thought anyway. 

“So how hard do you think it would be to find him?” Zayn asks suddenly, breaking the silence between two of them. 

Niall’s eyes widen as he stares at Zayn. “You mean..”

Zayn nods, staring at his boyfriend. “Yeah, the baby.” 

Niall shakes his head slightly. “Why would you want to do that?” 

Zayn shrugs, at loss on what to reply. Why? But deep down he knows why. “It’s like I don’t even know if I want to see him. I just want to make sure he’s okay.” He replies. That’s the best answer that he can give to his boyfriend at the moment, so let be it. 

Niall hums in response. He gets the point, though he is still curious, but what else can he do? “What did Perrie say?” 

Zayn shrugs slightly. “Nothing much. This couple, the Wagleys. They came to the hospital and took him. That’s it.” 

Niall nods. “Well, if she met the couple, I’m sure she knows more.” He points out. “Maybe you could just ask her.” 

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t want to ask her.” Zayn says, his tone hard. “If I ask her that means I have to talk to her and if I talk to her, it means I forgive her and I can’t forgive her even if a part of me wants to because if I forgive her, it’s like I forgive _him._ ”

Niall nods again. “Yeah, I get it.” He replies simply. 

 

Then, they’re back at the awkward silence again. Niall realizes that he doesn’t like it a bit. He stares at his boyfriend, not knowing what else that he can do to make Zayn feel better. To get rid of those dark begs under Zayn’s eyes, obviously from lack of sleep. 

“I really can’t imagine what it feels like to be you right now, you know.” Niall says. “I wish that I just, uh..I wanna..I wanna make it better, you know.” He admits truthfully. 

Zayn nods, slumping on the chair, toying around with his foods. “Yeah, I know. Me too.” He says glumly. Then, he glances up to look at his boyfriend. “That’s..I mean is it completely crazy I wanna try and find him?” 

Niall gazes at his boyfriend. “If it’s what you want.” He says. Thought part of him is screaming inside out of guiltiness for having to pretend like he doesn’t know about the secret beforehand. 

“I think it is.” 

“Well then I’ll help.” Niall says before sipping on his drink, trying to hide the guilt feeling inside of him.

**************

Bobby rubs his eyes tiredly after his trip to the kitchen before he stops as he notices the light from his son’s room. He pokes his head in as the door is slightly ajar and raises his eyebrows curiously when he sees Niall is still awake, sitting in front of his computer. “Niall? It’s 3 a.m. You still doing homework?”

Niall glances at his father briefly, shaking his head. “No, just doing some research.” He replies before shifting his attention back to the computer screen. “I couldn’t really sleep.” 

Bobby sighs, walking closer towards his son until he sits at the edge of the bed. All he gets is Niall’s back, as the boy is still not taking his eyes off of the screen. “How’s he doing?” 

Niall sighs, not really surprised with the question. He takes out a deep breath before swivelling his chair around to face his father. “Not good. He’s just really fragile, you know?” He tells his father. “I’m trying to be supportive but I just feel like if I even say the tiniest thing, he’s just gonna go twisting off in the wrong direction.” 

Bobby nods understandingly. “Well, the boy has suffered quite a blow.” He points out. 

“It’s like I can see him losing it in front of me.” Niall says. “It’s painful to watch.” 

Bobby stares at his son for a while before he speaks up again. “Maybe you shouldn’t have to.” He points out. “I mean, if you still beg, try to view the situation objectively. Maybe this is something that he does need to work out on his own. In his own time.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows at his father. “What are you saying?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at his father. “That I should break up with him now?”

“I’m saying that you’re right.” Bobby tells his son slowly, knowing that the boy is starting to get angry by his demeanour. “Everything has changed. No one could fault you for…reassessing the relationship. You didn’t sign up for this.” 

Niall huffs, shaking his head and chuckles humourlessly. “Oh my god.” He groans. “Is that seriously the advice you’re giving me right now? Just abandon him when he needs me the most?” 

Bobby sighs. “Ni, it is the middle of the night, perhaps I am not making myself clear.” 

Niall rolls his eyes. “No, I think you’re making yourself really clear, dad.” He points out, voice is getting hard by the second. “You think Zayn is damaged goods and you’re worried that he’s gonna rub off on me or something.” He continues. “Well, I’m sorry, but that’s not how relationships work. You don’t just disappear on someone when things get hard or when they stop being fun. And I think it’s pretty sad that you don’t seem to grasp that.” 

“All I see is my child in pain.” Bobby says. “Forgive me if my instinct is to move him away from the fire.” 

Niall huffs, shaking his head, obviously upset with his father’s words. Without a word, he turns his chair around, facing the computer again and completely ignoring his father.

**************

Niall pulls off his seatbelt, slightly relieved that they are finally reaching the school. It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy the time alone with Zayn in the car but like he told his father, he doesn’t know what to say to his boyfriend. “You comin’?” Niall asks when he sees Zayn is still glued on his seat, not really making an effort to move out of the car.

Zayn glances at his boyfriend, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think so. There’s no way I could handle school today.” He says, grabbing the papers from the backseat and starts to flip through it. “Uh, this stuff you got last night is great. There’s an address here for Child Placement. I was thinking about maybe going down there and asking a couple of questions.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “You realize it’s in Dublin?” He asks as if Zayn is insane. 

Zayn shrugs a bit, nodding. “Yeah, but you know, I think my car can make it.” 

Niall hums, before he smiles. “You want me to come with you?” He asks, hopeful glint laced in his tone. 

“Yeah, yeah. Sure, if you want to.” Zayn replies distractedly, eyes still reading the papers. “I mean, I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for so it might be a long day.” He adds. “Long and boring.” 

Oh, Niall thinks silently. He nods, feeling slightly hurt as his boyfriend just dismissing the idea. Maybe that’s not what Zayn had said, but Niall knows the tone. “That’s okay, I’ve got a presentation in 5th period anyways.” 

“You sure?” Zayn asks, finally glancing up to look at his boyfriend. 

Niall nods, trying to muster a smile to assure his boyfriend. “Yeah, um, but can you do me a favor and keep your cell phone on?” He asks. “I’m working on some other stuff, I might need to find you.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Zayn replies distractedly, as his attention is already shifting back to the paper. “And thank you again for the help, I really appreciate it.” 

Niall hums and nods, before starts to move himself out of the car. “See you later, okay?” He says, waiting for the usual kiss or maybe just pecks on the cheek, but no, Zayn is still absorbed with the papers and he swallows thickly, trying to hide his hurt feeling. After all, Zayn is hurting worst than him because of the baby news. It takes few more seconds after he closes the door before Zayn reverses the car and leaves the parking lot. And Niall, alone.

**************

“Uh, it’s just, it was scheduled for the nineteenth, I think, at four o’clock.” Niall says through the phone, pacing back and forth at his living room. “His name is Zayn Malik.”

“Yes, I’m familiar with the name.” The guy from the other end of the phone says. 

Niall beams. “You are?” 

“We’ve been pre-screening applicants in the piano department for fifteen years.” The guy continues. “I can count on one hand the number of times anyone’s ever skipped an audition.” 

Niall sighs. “He didn’t skip. There was an emergency.” He lies, hoping that the guy would eat on his words. “There was a death in the family.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see that in his file.” The guy says. “Usually there’s a death certificate.” 

Niall stops pacing, scratching his neck nervously. “Do you require a death certificate?” 

“Or a copy of the obituary.” 

Niall groans, shaking his head. “Okay, fine. Nobody died. But it was just as bad, trust me.” He blurts out. 

“Who am I speaking with again?” 

Niall ignores the guy’s question and continues talking. “Look, he was there, okay? He flew all the way to New York, and if he doesn’t get a shot at making his dream come true..”

“He had a shot. At 4pm, last Sunday.” 

Niall rolls his eyes, slightly irritated at the guy’s tone. “Hello, broken record. Come on, I’m trying to tell you that he’s brilliant and all these other schools are trying to recruit him so if you could just schedule a makeup?” 

“Perhaps he should find a recruiter from one of the other schools.” The guy deadpans.

“Oh yeah? Well, perhaps you should grow a heart, ass-face!” Niall replies in annoyance before he slamming down the phone.

**************

“Sir, you’ve been in and out of here all day. We’re about to close. If you need something, now’s the time.”

Zayn startles a bit from his pacing when he hears the receptionist’s voice from the front counter. He walks hesitantly towards the counter. “Um, yeah, I’m just looking for somebody.” He starts. “But I don’t even know if I’m in the right place, so I didn’t want to bother you.” He says and pauses, swallowing nervously when the woman just stare at him. “It’s a kid. Actually, it’s my kid. Uh, my son. He was put up for adoption..” He continues. 

“Name of the birth mother?” The woman asks, as she starts typing, staring at her computer. 

“Uh, Edwards.” Zayn replies. “Perrie Edwards.” 

The woman types again. “You say you’re the father?” She asks, glancing at Zayn briefly. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, Zayn Malik. Is it in there?” 

The woman hums, staring at the screen. “I have a record of Edwards here, but it says ‘father unknown’.” She tells him. “I’m looking at a docket entry ‘order Terminating Parent-Child Relationship of Unknown Birth Father’. It looks like it was signed the same day as the Adoption Decree.” 

Zayn stares at the woman blankly. “I don’t know what that means..”

“I don’t see a petition here to contest.” The woman reads over the record in her computer. “Did you appear in court?” 

“Wh…I didn’t even know there was gonna be a trial.” Zayn says, dumfounded. “Nobody told me. When did that happen?” 

The woman shakes her head. “I’m sorry, these kinds of files are confidential. It’s against the law to give out any information unless you’re a party or an attorney-of-record.” 

“Even if I’m the father?” Zayn asks, slightly crumbled at the thought that he might never see the baby if he can’t figure out on where he lives. 

“But that’s not what it…” The woman trails off, before she looks at him sympathetically. “I have to go by what’s on the record. I’m sorry.” She apologizes sincerely. 

Zayn hums, taking a deep breath, trying to remain calm before he loses his cool. “I can’t believe that she said that she didn’t know who the father was. Okay, I mean, it’s like, what? Does she want to just pretend that I don’t exist?” 

“I wish I could help you..” 

“I’m sorry, alright. I know it’s not your fault, but I thought if I just came down here, that I could maybe just figure out at least where he was, and maybe put some of this behind me.” Zayn rambles. Then he sighs again. “I know, it’s a stupid idea.”

The woman shakes her head. “Ah, don’t feel bad about what you’re trying to do.”

Zayn stares at the woman. “I’m not trying to get you in trouble.” 

“I know, I know you’re not..” The woman nods understandingly. 

“It’s just…I have a kid, alright? I had a kid and I’ve never met him.” Zayn tells the woman. “I have no idea who he is and I just wanna make sure he’s safe.” 

The woman sighs, glancing between the screen and Zayn. Finally, she gives in. “Listen to me.” She says, catching Zayn’s attention to listen to her intently. “Any child growing up in Beaconsfield, you know he’s gonna be just fine. Okay?” 

Zayn’s eyes widens. “Thank you.” 

The woman nods, smiling at the boy. “It’s alright, sweetheart.” She says. “I wish there were more like you.”

**************

Niall picks up the grass, as he and Zayn are sitting at the front porch, with Zayn just finished retelling him about his story for a day. “So she just told you where they live?” Niall asks, glancing at his boyfriend on his right.

Zayn nods. “Uh, kind of.” He replies. “I mean, I kind of had a little bit of meltdown. I don’t know if she felt sorry for me or just wanted to get me out of there, but I know where he is now so..” he trails off, not knowing what else to say. So, what? 

Niall hums, contemplating on Zayn’s words. “You know what area, you don’t have a specific address.” He points out. 

Zayn glances at Niall briefly before he stares at the road ahead of the house again. “Yeah, I know, but how many Wagleys there can be?” 

Niall shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe a lot.”

Zayn nods. “So yeah, I was thinking maybe when I get home tonight, I can get on the internet, narrow down the search for a little bit, maybe check, uh, ticket prices too.” 

Niall turns his head, staring at his boyfriend. “You’re thinking about going there?” He asks and when Zayn nods, confirming the question, he shakes his head. “I thought you wanted to find him, not actually go and see him.” 

“Well, that’s before I knew where he was.” Zayn says. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “So you’re just gonna walk up to their door and knock?” 

Zayn shrugs. “Well, I hadn’t thought about it that far ahead yet,” he admits, gazing at his boyfriend. “I thought you were okay with this.” He says, a bit accusing as he notices the unenthusiastic reaction from his boyfriend.

“I am. I..” Niall trails off, pausing a bit, trying to find the right words to say. “I’m trying to be supportive, Zayn. It just seems like…” He pauses again, shaking his head. “I mean, how far are you planning on taking this? Are you actually thinking about contesting the adoption?” 

“No, of course not.” Zayn replies firmly. 

“Well, then why are you doing this?” Niall asks curiously. He doesn’t understand why Zayn would want to hurt himself more by going to see the baby. 

Zayn sighs, taking a deep breath before he replies. “I don’t know. There’s so much that out of my hands right now, at least this way I feel like I’m doing something. You know, maybe I can get some closure.” 

“Will you?” Niall presses again, trying to get his boyfriend to understand that he can choose not to further hurting himself. “I mean, you got what you wanted. You know where he is. You know he’s in a good home surrounded by billionaires.” 

Zayn shakes his head, disagreeing with his boyfriend. “I don’t know that they’re good parents just because they’re rich.” He points out. “I mean, what if those people that send their kids to schools with nannies and like never see them?” 

Niall stares at his boyfriend disbelievingly. “So what if they are? What are you gonna do? Steal the kid away and raise him yourself? This is insane.” 

Zayn watches as Niall’s grip on his jacket tighten and by the straight line of his forehead, he knows how Niall is not agree on what he is about to do. To find the baby. “You’re right. Sorry, you’re right.” He says, taking Niall’s hand into his. “I’ve been so caught up in all this, I didn’t think about how weird it must be for you.” 

Niall melts under Zayn’s touch, sighing a bit as he shakes his head. “No. No, I mean, your problems are my problems.” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, but I mean, this all happened before we got together.” He points out. “You didn’t know about it. You shouldn’t have to deal with it.” He continues. “I mean, I know that you love me and want to be there for me which you totally have, but, you know, from here out I think that I should just handle it alone, okay?” 

Niall stares at his boyfriend for a moment, before he reluctantly nods.

**************

Niall opens the door with a bang, smiling so big, as he enters the studio. “I am a goddess!” He exclaims excitedly.

Zayn, who has been lying on the couch lazily, starting to sit up. “What happened?” He asks curiously. It’s no strange that his boyfriend is always been a happy boy but he is still curious nonetheless. 

Niall’s smile widens. He is skipping his way to the couch and Zayn scoots away until they can sit face to face. “Do you remember Chris? Guy from DCU who tried to recruit you?” Niall asks, almost out of breath because of his excitement earlier. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Uh, I didn’t apply there. Remember, another one of my dad’s brilliant ideas.” He points out. 

Niall shrugs Zayn’s words off, shaking his head. “Whatever. I remember you saying about him is that he loved you of course, and that he graduated from Juilliard but didn’t like touring so he got into teaching.” 

Zayn stares at his boyfriend in amazement. “Do you remember everything I say, cause it’s a little scary?” He teases, earning a playful punch on his arm. 

Niall waves Zayn off again. “Anyways, I called him. Told him what happened, the short version, don’t worry.” He says quickly before Zayn can interrupt him. “He remembered you. I got him to call Juilliard and..” he pauses, staring at Zayn with a big smile on his face. “..you have another audition in three days.” 

Zayn’s eyes widen, gaping slightly at the news. “Oh my god.” 

Niall grins, his eyes sparkling as he stares at Zayn. “I know, you can worship me now.” 

Zayn laughs a little, staring right into Niall’s blue eyes. “I love you, Niall.”

“I love you too.” Niall replies happily. 

Zayn moves, standing up from the couch, making his way to the small desk to put down the book that he was reading earlier. “But I can’t go.” He says. “I’m going to Beaconsfield. I’ve already bought my ticket.” 

Niall’s smiles drops. He stands up from the couch too, trailing behind Zayn. “I thought you decided not to?” 

Zayn turns around to face his boyfriend again. “I never said that.” He says and when his boyfriend is looking at him like he had lost his mind, he sighs. “Look, I’m sorry, if you’d told me sooner..”

Niall shakes his head. “Zayn, listen to me, you have to go to New York.” He pleads, trying to change his boyfriend’s mind. “You just need to change your ticket.” 

“Well, I can’t change my ticket. I already bought it.” Zayn points out. 

“Well, then un-buy it!” Niall shrieks slightly, starting to feel upset at his boyfriend’s stubbornness. “Zayn, this is your future. New York. Juilliard.” He says, walking closer to his boyfriend. “You’re getting a second chance here. You have to go to be the piano genius that you were supposed to be.” 

Zayn shrugs, sighing a bit. “Yeah, but that’s not who I am anymore.” 

“Yes, it is!” Niall says firmly. “Oh my god, do you know how hard I worked to get you this audition?!” 

“Well, I’m sorry you went through all the trouble. If you’d told me sooner I could’ve explained..”

“Explained what?! That you’ve completely lost your mind?” 

“Explained to you that every time I think about New York, I get sick and every time I look at a piano, I get nauseous.” Zayn explains. 

Niall shakes his head. “Okay, you know what, Zayn? You need to stop.” He tells his boyfriend. “You need to stop and focus and remember what your life is about. _This_ life. Not the life that you didn’t get.” He continues. “And I know that you should’ve gotten to choose for yourself, but you didn’t and it’s over and you can’t wallow in it forever.” 

Zayn stares at Niall. “It’s been a week.” He deadpans. 

“You’re not going to get another chance at Juilliard. Do you understand that?” Niall points out. He huffs before he speaks up again. “God, this is exactly why I didn’t tell you in the first place. I’m just trying to protect that shot and now you’re throwing it away again. I don’t understand you.” 

Zayn straightens up, blinking as he couldn’t believe his ears. His eyes harden as he stares at Niall. “Didn’t tell me what?” 

Niall feels his stomach drops the moment he sees Zayn’s hard gaze on him. His heart is pounding rapidly against his ribcage. He mentally cursing himself as he realizes what a stupid person he is. How could he blurted it out loud? 

Zayn advances, towering over the other boy. “You knew?” He hisses. 

Niall backs away slightly. “No. I mean, yes, I knew that she got pregnant.” He replies quickly. “I found out right before you left, but uh..my dad..”

“You dad knew?!” Zayn’s voice boomed throughout the small studio. 

Niall swallows thickly, shaking his head a little. “I was gonna tell you, Zayn.” He admits truthfully. “I was going to but I didn’t want to freak you out before your audition and I..” He trails off. “I obviously didn’t think that you randomly bump into Perrie on the streets of New York and I didn’t know your dad’s part in it.” He says, trying to explain himself. He never sees Zayn is so upset with him like this. 

“You knew, and you didn’t tell me.” Zayn hisses, glaring at Niall. He doesn’t know what to feel at the moment. Niall knew about the secret yet he didn’t even have the guts to tell Zayn about it. He feels betrayed. So betrayed and angry. 

“I was going to though.” Niall says. “Don’t you remember? I told you, Zayn, we need to talk, but it can wait.” He says gently, trying to calm the other boy. 

Zayn huffs angrily, shaking his head. “How could this wait?! How could this possibly be something that could wait?!” 

“Cause you had your audition. The audition you have been working so hard for all year.” Niall points out. “I was just trying to protect you!” 

Zayn snorts. Then he lets out a humourless chuckle. “To protect me?” 

Niall shakes his head. “Don’t do this, Zayn. It’s not the same.” He pleads. 

“It’s exactly the same!” Zayn quips angrily. “You’re just like him, only worse because I thought I could trust you.” 

“You can!” Niall says. “Zayn, this is me! I was just trying to help you realize what really matters!” 

“You have no idea what matters!” 

Niall sighs. He knows nothing he says now is going to calm the other boy. So he just accept his fate for now and continues talking. “Okay, fine. Hate me right now, but think about what you’re about to give up.” He says. “Is seeing the baby right now really that important?” 

“Right now, it’s more important than you!” Zayn deadpans coldly. 

Niall’s heart breaks. 

He stares at Zayn, trying to hold his unshed tears. He just couldn’t believe his ears. How could Zayn? How could Zayn said those things to him? He knows that keeping the secret was his fault but he himself didn’t know what to do when he had found out. He tries to reach for Zayn but the other boy backs away, turning around, refusing to look at Niall anymore. 

"You should get out.” Zayn says. 

Niall chokes back on his sob, too stunned to say anything else. With a heavy heart, he turns around and walks out of the studio.

**************

Niall hastily wiping away his tears when someone knock on the window of the passenger side. He turns his head, only to see his father is peering in, staring at him worriedly. He opens the door’s lock, letting his father in.

Bobby slides into the passenger seat, blowing the cold air slightly, before he turns to look at his youngest son. By the red-rimmed and puffy eyes, he knows his son has been crying in the car alone. “How long have you been out here?” 

Niall glances at his watch briefly. “About 20 minutes.” He murmurs, then clearing his scratchy throat results of the crying for the past 20 minutes, or maybe more than that as he can’t stop crying from the Malik household. He stares at the windshield, knowing that his father is waiting for him to explain. “We broke up.” He says it out loud, as another set of tears are rolling down on his cheeks again. 

Bobby sighs heavily, feeling his heart breaks as he looks at his son’s face. “I’m so sorry.” He apologizes. “And I was out of line the other night.” 

Niall tries to wipe away his tears with the back of his hands, shaking his head. Still, the tears are still pouring down. “It’s okay.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t.” He presses. “You didn’t ask for any advice. It was ill-considered. I only said that because..”

“You love me.” Niall says, cutting his father’s off. “I understand why you did it, dad. And why you didn’t tell me about Perrie.” He continues, his eyes are never leaving the windshield, refusing to look at his father because he knows he’ll end up crying more. “Like, you love someone, you just want to protect them, you know, like keep them away from all the bad stuff.” He says shakily between his tears. “Cause you think that’s what’s best for them, but it doesn’t work.” 

Bobby shakes his head a little. “Well, there’s one thing I know about you and Zayn and that is, you have a remarkable pension for working things out. So perhaps, given a little time..” 

Niall bites his lips, shaking his head. He tries to stop himself from letting out a sob that he knows is coming if he keeps talking. Though he gives up on wiping the tears away. “I don’t think so.” Pauses. “I’m pretty sure it’s over.”

**************

“You said 2239, right?” The taxi driver asks, glancing at the rearview mirror.

“Yeah.” Zayn replies simply, eyes roaming around the neighbourhood area as the taxi is moving slowly on the road. 

“It should be..yeah, here we go.” The driver says and stops the taxi in front of the nicest house that Zayn has ever seen in his life. 

Zayn rolls down his window, staring at the house and its surrounding. The house is half gated, with the green grass at the front yard, looking amazingly clean and trimmed perfectly. There are some playthings for kids laying on the ground and by the looks of it, the house really looks homey, like a proper family house. 

“You’re getting out or what?” The driver asks, startling Zayn out of his reverie. 

Zayn shakes his head. “I changed my mind.” He says. “Let’s go back to the airport.”

**************

“You waiting for me?” Zayn asks when he spots his father at the front porch.

Yasir nods, standing up from the chair, staring at his son. “Yeah, I am.” 

“Well, I’m home.” 

Yasir shakes his head. “You went to England.” He points out. “When you didn’t come home last night or this morning, I called Niall. He told me.” 

Zayn huffs, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure he did.” He grumbles. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “Oh, so now, you hate him too?” He points out. “You left without even telling me.” 

“Well, now you know why.” Zayn deadpans. 

“Well, what if something happened? What if, God forbid something had happened to the plane?” 

Zayn shrugs. “It’s a good thing, it didn’t.” 

Yasir stares at his son, shaking his head. “I’m just gonna say this just once, so pay attention.” He says firmly. “I don’t care how pissed off you are at me or at Perrie or the entire universe, you can’t do this.” He adds. “I care about you Zayn. I worry about you. I screwed up, but that’s over. And you and I are gonna have to figure out some way to live with this. And that doesn’t mean that you have to forgive me, but you don’t get to walk all over me either. You understand?” 

Zayn stares at his father, not backing down. “I’m not trying to walk all over you, I’m trying to walk _around_ you.” He says. “Don’t worry, I’ll be leaving soon.” He adds, before he enters the house, leaving his father alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, and I just want to know for those who are following this stories since the beginning, is it okay if I put down the storyline for the original characters too? The fact that I fell in love with this tv series was because of its family theme besides the teenage romance drama, so I just feel the need to point that out too in the story. But, I've doubt too, like, is anyone going to read that side story too ?


	19. You pulled me under so I had to give in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from **[The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore - James Morrison](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIg8kNfJpsg)**

Bobby sings to himself as he moves around the kitchen stove, trying to make breakfast for his family. He turns around when he hears the sound of footsteps and smiles as he spots his youngest son. “There you are. I’d almost given up on you.” He says before turning around, shifting his attention back to his cooking again. “Luckily the pan is still warm. Tabasco still hot. So how many huevos rancheros would you like? Two eggs or three?” 

Niall doesn’t reply, instead he reaches up for a cup from the cabinet, before pouring down the coffee. He sips the coffee, before bringing his cup down and stares at his father. “I’m not really hungry. Thanks though.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows, glancing slightly at his son. “Not hungry?” He asks. “When one is blessed with a metabolism of a finch, and the appetite of a trucker, one should capitalize on it.” He points out. 

Niall shakes his head, sipping on his coffee again. Then, he sighs. “Not now, dad. Please.” He pleads. His voice is not as chipper as he usually be. He can’t even force a smile for his father at the moment. 

Bobby turns off the stove, before he turns around to look at his youngest son. He sighs slightly as he notices the dark begs under his son’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I know you’re still upset about Zayn, but you do have to eat, Ni.” 

Niall shifts, takes a seat on the stool, nodding at his father. “No, I know. It’s not that.” He says, pausing slightly before he continues. “It’s just, I just got, uh, two responses from different schools.” He says slowly, gazing at his father to gauge for his reaction. 

“Did you receive a rejection?” Bobby asks. 

Niall nods. “Yeah, actually from one of the schools, but that’s not..”

“Well, phooey on them, their loss, I say, besides one can never be sure of how these things are ultimately decided.” Bobby says, cutting his son off before he can finish. “I’m sure that you will forget about it, when you are striding across the quad next fall at Harvard.” He continues talking. “You said something about two responses?” He asks, before moving to the sink to rinse the plate. 

Niall stares at his father’s back. He puts down his cup on the table, squinting his eyes. “Yeah, I got into the other one actually.” 

Bobby nods. “Well, naturally.” 

“It’s just bizarre, because I didn’t apply there.” 

“Come again?” Bobby asks. It couldn’t be, could it? 

Niall bends down slightly, reaching for his bag. “That’s right, daddy-o.” He says, pulling out the thick envelope from the bag. “It starts with a P. I believe the official name is, oh how do you say – Princeton.” 

Bobby freezes. Then he hastily turns off the pipe, all plates forgotten. He straightens up before turning around to face his son. “Could you repeat that again? Slowly.” 

Niall’s face cracks into a smile as he watches his father’s reaction. “I got into Princeton, dad.” He says, waving the envelope. “Did you have anything to do with this?” 

Bobby shakes his head, walking closer towards his son. “You got into Princeton.” He says excitedly, pulling Niall into a tight hug, making the boy laughs. “Oh, Nialler..”

“Okay, now back to the whole ‘I didn’t apply there’ thing.” Niall says once they pull away, squinting his eyes at his father. “You know anything about that, Mr. Happy?” 

Bobby ignores Niall’s question, instead he takes the envelope and reads the first word of the letter with a big grin on his face. “Finally, a Horan at Princeton University.” He exclaims happily. “Sweet justice!” He shouts out loud, before walking out of the house, and no doubt chanting the good news around the neighbourhood.

Niall laughs out loud at his father’s antique.

**************

Louis bounces the ball, heads slightly tilt up, eyeing the target before he throws it right into the basket. He whoops loudly, turning around, and of course his best friend is there. “And not that I don’t enjoy demolishing your pathetic attempt at a game, but, uh, shouldn’t you be at school right now?” He asks. 

Zayn hums, shrugging a bit. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” He deadpans sarcastically. 

Louis shakes his head, immune with Zayn’s sarcasm. “Touche, amigo, but seriously what’s with the hooky?” He asks curiously. “You’re trying to beat my ditch record?” 

Zayn sighs, shrugging again. “Uh, might as well. School’s not that important now that I’m not going into college.” 

Louis nods understandingly. He had been there before. “Yeah, but you don’t want to be a high school dropout.” He points out. “Pretty soon, you’ll be watching football with a six-pack of Milwaukee’s Best laying across your gut.” 

Zayn stands up from the bench, heading towards Louis. “Well, seeing as I had a kid at 16, I figure I might as well just go for broke with the stereotype.” He says, before moving around to grab the ball from Louis’s hand. “You know, I’m trying to find the humor in it and move to that all important acceptance stage.” He says, before throwing the ball into the basket, and of course, miss the target. 

Louis nods understandingly. “If you ever want to talk about it..”

Zayn turns around to face Louis. “You know, just promise me, you didn’t know anything until I told you about it.” 

Louis holds his hands up, shaking his head. “I swear, man. Come on, I barely even know the stuff I suppose to know.” He says truthfully. “But, uh, can I ask you one question?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, sure, go for it.” 

Louis gazes at his best friend. “If you made it all the way to the kid’s house, but you didn’t knock. What’s up with that?” He asks curiously. 

Zayn sighs. He takes a deep breath before he replies to Louis’s question. “I don’t know.” He admits truthfully. “I mean, I planned to, I had a speech prepared and everything.” He continues. “When I got there, it clicked, you know. He wasn’t my kid anymore. I mean, he was, but he wasn’t, you know.” He rambles on, trying to explain but finds no right word to describe the situation. He is just hoping that Louis would understand. “And if they care enough to adopt him, why should I ruin their lives, just cause I’m feeling weird.” 

Louis nods understandingly. “So, I mean, Niall wasn’t totally wrong then.” He points out. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” 

“Nothing.” Louis replies quickly. He doesn’t want Zayn to think that he is on his brother’s side. He doesn’t want Zayn to shut him off too. “It’s just…well, he basically told you not to go for all the reasons ultimately you decided not to knock.” 

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that I wasn’t going to knock until I got there.” Zayn replies defensively. “I had to be parked outside for me to figure out what my end result would be, just like you had to be fired twice before you finally realized what a screw-up you’d been.” 

“Hey, I’m in the room!” Louis mocks offence. 

Zayn shrugs. “No, I know, but seriously, I mean, come on. I mean, it wasn’t enough that everybody was telling you to get your act together, you had to actually go and hit the wall yourself.” He says. “In your case, the wall meant being slapped down by your mom.” 

Louis nods. “It’s a pretty good wall.” He says. “And all I’m saying is, Niall tried to do the right thing.” He continues bluntly. At this point, yes, he’s not on his brother’s side. But looking at the whole situation now, he knows he can put in his two cents. “You know, maybe you can cut him some slack.”

**************

Niall smiles, listening to one of his classmate, as he rambles about the university’s acceptance. “How very thorough of you, Daniel.” 

“Well, not everybody can get into Princeton.” The other boy says, grinning at Niall. “So exciting. It’s like the best school, except for the New Jersey part. Lot of mafia.” He continues. “You should totally bring mace with you.” He says, before waving Niall off as they part their direction to class. 

Niall shakes his head, still smiling as he walks through the hallway. He glances around and smiles slightly at the atmosphere surrounds him. Everyone is apparently buzzing about which university they are going to attend after they graduate apparently. Niall’s smile falters slightly as he spots on the familiar figure near the locker. He contemplates on what to do, turning around or just marching up to reach his locker, which is apparently at the same area. He takes a deep breath, before he braces himself to walk towards the boy. 

Zayn is putting his book into his bag when suddenly he senses a presence besides him. He glances up, only to find Niall, smiling at him. “Hey.” He greets simply. 

“Hey.” 

“Uh, where’s Harry?” Zayn asks, looking over Niall’s shoulder, where he would usually finds his brother. 

Niall leans against the locker next to Zayn’s, clutching his book tightly on his chest. “Uh, him and George went out for lunch, I think, off campus.” 

Zayn nods. He forgets that Harry has George now. He feels slightly guilty for being too caught up with his own problem, but discovering that you have a kid really taking out the toll on you to care about anything else. “Yeah, that’s right. They’re like, uh..” He trails off, unsure of the real question. 

Niall smiles and nods. “Yeah, he really likes him.” 

“Well, that’s cool.” 

Niall nods again. He gazes at Zayn. “How are you?” 

Zayn shrugs slightly. “Oh, good. You know, just hangin in there.” He replies. “Pretty much counting down the days till the school’s over.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t see you in home room today. Figured maybe you’d given up.” Niall points out. 

“Uh, just about.” Zayn replies truthfully. 

And then, it’s the awkward silence. Again. 

Niall is at loss on what to do. Apparently, his effort to make a small talk with Zayn is not as smooth as he thought it would be. So, he straightens up and nods at the other boy. “I’m gonna go.” He says, excusing himself, before he starts to walk passes Zayn. 

Zayn blinks, too shock to the sudden turns of event. Quickly, he turns around. “Hey, I feel like, I uh, like I owe you an apology.” He says, though it’s only to Niall’s back, but he knows the other boy hears him. 

Niall stops walking, turning around to face Zayn again. “Really?” 

Zayn nods, staring at Niall. “Yeah, you know, uh, what you did..”

“Wrong. Totally. It was..it was wrong.” Niall says, cutting Zayn’s off. 

“Yeah, but you know, you didn’t have a lot of options at the time.” Zayn points out. “I don’t know what I would’ve done in your situation and you know, I understand.” He continues. “Uh, yeah, I think when the whole thing went down I was just like angry at the world, so..” 

Niall shakes his head, interrupting Zayn before he can finish. “No, but you had every right to be.” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, anyway, uh, I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.” He apologizes, staring at the other boy. 

Niall starts to smile, gazing at Zayn. “No, it’s okay. I totally understand.” He says. “And thanks for saying that.” 

Zayn smiles too. He just can’t help it. Niall’s smile is really contagious. “So, uh, I don’t know, do you wanna like maybe hang out sometime? Whenever.” 

Niall’s heart beats faster than before. He couldn’t believe his ears. “Really? Yeah.” He says, trying to play it cool, though his heart is filled with warmness at the moment. Zayn is asking him out again. “Sure, whenever, you know.” 

Zayn nods. “Okay, uh, so then, you know, I’ll just give you a call or..”

Niall nods quickly, still smiling brightly as he looks at Zayn. “Okay.”

**************

“How’s it going in there, my dear?” Bobby shouts from outside the door. 

Maura rolls her eyes from inside the bathroom. “I’m peeing on the stick. It’s as thrilling as it sounds.” She deadpans. 

Bobby smiles. “So which would you prefer? A boy or girl?” He asks, before he adds, “Oh, I forgot. Doesn’t matter. Just pink and perfect and appropriately fingered and toed.” 

Maura shakes her head at her husband’s tone, before she opens the door. “Bobby..”

“Sit, sit.” Bobby says enthusiastically, leading his wife to sit at the edge of the bed. “So, I, uh, took the liberty of perusing the Babies R Us website, I couldn’t sleep last night.” He tells his wife. “You would not believe the cost of a quality stroller these days.” 

“You don’t say.” 

Bobby chuckles. “Yeah, I also googled swing sets just for the heck of it.” He adds. “Trust me, you would be thoroughly shocked by what came up. It had nothing to do with playground equipment.” 

Maura shakes her head. “Strollers and yard toys? Don’t you think we should wait for the results first?” 

“I suppose patience is a virtue for a reason, but you have to admit, it’s all rather exciting, isn’t it?” Bobby asks, smiling at his wife. It’s been years since he got a kid and the prospect of having a new one thrills him so much. However, his smile drops when he notices the lack of expression from his wife’s face. “Isn’t it?” 

Maura sighs. “I don’t know.” She replies. “It’s just not something I was planning.” She admits truthfully. “I was all ready for the empty nest syndrome. I never expected to be breastfeeding again at my age.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “You having second thoughts?” 

“I haven’t had time for first thoughts!” Maura points out. “We haven’t actually discussed this yet.” 

“Well, forgive me, I didn’t realize we had anything to discuss.” Bobby says. And before Maura could reply with anything, the watch beeps. They both know the time to wait for the result is up. Maura stands up and walks into the bathroom to gather the pregnancy test kit. 

“It’s negative.” Maura says, looking at her husband. 

Bobby couldn’t help but feels slightly disappointed. But then he shakes his head. “Well, I suppose that’s that.” 

Maura, for some unknown reasons, is feeling disappointed too. “How accurate are these things?” 

“Fairly.” Bobby replies. “Of course, there’s always a possibility. Why?” 

Maura shakes her head. “Well, I know my body, Bobby. Call me crazy, but I trust myself more than a plastic stick from a grocery store.” 

Bobby nods. “Well, why don’t you come by the office later? We’ll draw some blood, see if we can get a more accurate result.” 

“If it’s alright with you, I’d rather go to Maggie.” Maura says. “You haven’t been able to locate my vein since med school.” 

“That’s fine.” Bobby says. “I suppose I should be get back to work.” 

Maura nods. “Yeah, I need to as well.”

**************

“What do you think about this one?” 

“Uh, it’s a little dull. I mean, you wanna look hot, don’t you?” Harry comments, as he looks at the clothes that Niall is showing him at the store. 

Niall raises his eyebrows at Harry. “Damn, boy. Three dates with George and suddenly you’re suddenly stylist icon?” He teases the younger boy. 

Harry chuckles, blushing slightly. “Two and a half. Lunch doesn’t count as a whole date.” He tells the older boy. “I just think you and Zayn should start off with more of a bang.” 

Niall shrugs, walking around another section of clothes in the store, with Harry in tow. “Yes, but we’re not technically starting.” He says. “It’s more like we almost got cancelled then everyone decided that they loved us, so we got picked up for another season.” 

Harry rolls his eyes. “You watch way too much TV.” He points out. 

Niall chuckles, not bothering to correct Harry since it is true anyway. He stops abruptly, eyeing one of the blue shirts at the rack and then glances at Harry. “Besides, it’s gonna take a while for Zayn and I to get completely back to normal. I don’t want to freak him out.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Harry says, nodding understandingly. “But I really don’t think it’s gonna take as long as you think.” He adds. “I mean, if you can get through _this_. _This_ was like a Greek tragedy. It should be easy peezy from here on out.” 

Niall hums as he gazes at Harry. “Okay, don’t say anything.” 

“Obviously.” 

Niall nods. “Obviously. But I’m starting to feel like Zayn and I could really work.” He tells the younger boy. “You know, like forever? I mean, you’re right, we’ve been through everything horrible that could possible happen and we’re still madly in love with each other. And I know we’re still in high school, but..”

“So? My uncle and auntie met at high school. They’re still together.” Harry says earnestly. The prospect of Zayn and Niall getting married is too precious for Harry to let go. And he knows how his brother and Niall love each other. They’re just at bumpy road the moment. Harry sure that they will be fine. 

Niall sighs. “Yeah, but things were different back then.” He points out. 

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Why? You and Zayn just went through your first big cycle, but it was only your first, you’re gonna have a million more and I will be there to take care of your grandchildren when you need a little private nookie time.” 

“Euw!” Niall groans out loud. 

“What? Senior citizens make out.” Harry points out. “I have heard the stories about your grandma.” 

Niall scrunches his nose, shaking his head as he remembers the time when he accidentally walked into his grandma’s room. And he was traumatic enough. “Okay, you have officially lost your best man status.”

**************

“Well, you’re not pregnant, but no real surprise there. Right?” Paul says, glancing back and forth between the two persons in front of him. “Uh, sorry, I figured you knew.” 

“Well, if we knew, we wouldn’t be here, doctor.” Bobby replies sarcastically. 

“I’ll admit I am surprised.” Maura says. “I truly thought that..” She trails off. “Well, never mind.” 

Paul shakes his head. “If you guys are interested in conceiving, there’s a lot of stuff we could try.” He says. “We should get a sample from you, Bobby, just to check sperm count, motility.” 

“Yeah, you needn’t concern yourself with my motility, doctor.” Bobby says, cutting the young doctor off. “And I don’t believe we require any further assistance..”

“Maybe we do.” Maura pipes in. “For the last few weeks, you’ve been telling me that my symptoms were all stress related.”

Bobby nods. “Yes, and you were convinced that you were pregnant.” 

“I am not the doctor.” Maura deadpans. 

“Glad you finally understand that.” Bobby says. 

Paul clears his throat awkwardly. “Uh, any who…I was actually trying to, uh, cut out of here early today, my brother’s in town visiting.” 

“Tell me something, Dr. Higgins.” Maura demands, staring at the man. “If I were patient of yours, and I came to you complaining of back problems, constant fatigue..”

“Don’t exaggerate, Maura.”

“Nausea..” Maura continues, ignoring her husband 

“Uh, okay. Well, it’s a little early, but it might be menopause.” Paul says. “Your whole body can get thrown all out of whack even fighting off a localized issue.” He adds. “But seeing as you’re having back troubles, I might also want to rule out a compression fracture, osteoporosis.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes, I can do the X-Ray.” Bobby pipes in, not wanting to hear anything else from the other doctor. 

“Excuse me, but I asked Dr. Higgins.” Maura quips. 

Bobby stares at his wife. “Where on earth is this hostility coming from, Maura?” He asks. “You can’t be upset with the result, since you made it abundantly clear how little you want..”

Maura glares at her husband. “Don’t even presume to understand how I am feeling, Bobby Horan.” 

“Well, you certainly implied..”

“No, you inferred as you so often do.” Maura snaps. “All I did was express my concern at prospect of being pregnant again.” 

Paul swallows nervously, glancing back and forth between the arguing couple. “All righty, then, I’m just gonna..”

“That is most certainly not the impression you gave!” Bobby tells his wife. “You let me presume that I was the only one with any hopeful interest in the idea. You should’ve just said..”

“You were busy shopping with strollers!” 

“Online! It took all two minutes.” Bobby points out. “It’s not as if I drove the minivan to the mall or..”

“So now you want a minivan?!” Maura quips, before shaking her head. “Oh, just forget it. I have to get back to the office. I’ve missed enough work as it is.” She says, before she walks out of the room. 

Bobby gapes slightly at his wife’s mood swing, and when his eyes catches on Paul, he shakes his head. “Just shut up.”

**************

Louis pauses on his game as the doorbell rings. He walks to the door lazily, and once he opens the door, he couldn’t help but feel slightly surprise. He raises his eyebrows. “Uh, huh. Nice to see you still recognize quality advice when you hear it.” 

Zayn shrugs, gazing confusingly at Louis before he lets himself in. “What are you talking about now?” 

Louis rolls his eyes, closing the door before he walks to the couch, plopping down and grabbing his controller again. “You and Niall back on the ‘love’ train. I heard about your big date and I’d like to think that I had a little bit to do with that.” 

Zayn raises his arms and shakes his head. “Whoa, first of all, there’s no love train, okay? And it’s not even technically a date. We’re just hanging out.” He tells the older boy. “You know, seeing how it goes.” 

Louis pauses his game, then sitting up straight, staring at Zayn. “Really?” He asks. “Oh.” 

Zayn scrunches his forehead in confusion. “Oh? What do you mean, oh?” He asks. “Why do you say ‘oh’ like that for? What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Louis shakes his head. “Does Niall know it’s not a date?” He asks before he continues. “Cause the mood around here’s basically been that you two have moved back to couple-ville.” 

“What?! No.” Zayn says firmly. “Did he say that?” 

Louis shrugs. “Pretty much.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “I didn’t even…I…” He stumbles on his words before he sighs heavily. “Oh, man..” He whines. “Look, it’s not like I don’t miss him. I do miss him, but I just..I can’t…I can’t be a boyfriend again. I’m not ready yet. Too much has happened. You know, I need to figure some things out.” 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Well, you probably should have told him all that stuff before he bought that clothes.” He tells the other boy. He remembers how Niall had come home the day before, a big smile on his face, with his new clothes in the shopping bag. 

Zayn’s eyes widen. “He went shopping?” He asks, shaking his head. “I said, ‘let’s hang out’.” 

Louis shakes his head as he looks at panicked expression on Zayn’s face. “Dude, you don’t have to pop an aneurism over this, okay?” He says. “All you gotta do is say something to him. Let him know where you’re coming from. Buy yourself a little time.”

Zayn nods, contemplating on Louis’s advice. “Yeah, you’re right. I can do that.” 

“Oh, and whatever you land, you better do it fast, because Niall knows what he wants and it’s you.” Louis points out.

**************

“What do you want from me, Maura?” Bobby asks. “Should I continue in my attempt to understand what is going through that head of yours or would you prefer to be left alone? Frankly, I’m lost.” 

Maura sighs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Bobby.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “The X-Ray? Oh, no, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

Maura shakes her head, staring at her husband. “No, I don’t mean that. I mean, you were right, initially I didn’t want another child.” She says. “It just seemed like an exhausting prospect. But then I..”

“Then what?” 

“Well, once I got past my anxieties about the actual pregnancy and started thinking about the possible baby, I really wanted her.” 

Bobby smiles at his wife. “A ‘her’ was it?” 

Maura nods. “Appropriately fingered and toed, but I was hoping for a girl.” She tells her husband. “Is that crazy?” 

“To want another child at our age?” Bobby asks. “I don’t know. Geena Davis seems to be doing okay.” He points out. “I have to be honest with you, Maura, I never felt more useful in this world than the day I became a father. I never saw more clearly what I was put on earth for.” 

“We raised two wonderful children – with good hearts.” 

“The youngest going to Princeton for heaven’s sake. I would say we did fantastic.” Bobby says. “You know, Maura, I was, uh, reading this article about this woman in Budapest had a baby in her 70s.” 

Maura smiles softly at her husband. “Well, we got a couple of decades on her.” 

Bobby nods. “We could try if you want.” 

“Really?” Maura asks, leaning closer to kiss her husband. But their moment is interrupted when Bobby’s assistant enters the room. “Dr. Horan, here you go.” The assistant says, handing the result of X-Ray to the doctor. 

“Yes, thank you.” Bobby says. Once the assistant leaves, Bobby moves to the screen to read the X-Ray. 

“I wonder when’s the best time to start trying again?” Maura asks, still smiling at the thought of having another child in the house. She walks closer towards her husband. “I’m free tonight.” 

Bobby grins. “Sounds good to me.” He says, while staring at the illuminated X-Ray on the screen. “Well, I see no visible fractures. Wish the resolution was better. We’ll set up a scan, just to be certain. Much better detail.” 

Maura nods against her husband’s shoulder. “Whatever you think.” She says. “I better get home and start dinner. Will you be long?” 

Bobby tilts his head down slightly to look at his wife. “Uh, I just have some paperwork to wrap up. Be right behind you.”

**************

It’s such a quiet day, well, it is a small town after all, that’s nothing unusual. As both Niall and Zayn are walking side by side along the road, Niall couldn’t help but feeling itchy to grab Zayn’s hand as they always did before. But he doesn’t really know where do they stand at the moment and Zayn is already putting both of his hands inside his hoodie pocket, so that might be the answer. But that doesn’t falter Niall’s spirit. At least they’re still talking to each other. 

“So, I’ve been thinking about something.” Niall starts, glancing at Zayn with a big smile on his face. 

“Oh yeah? You want to grab some coffee?” Zayn asks, startling Niall slightly. 

Though, Niall nods. “Oh, yeah, sure.” He says. After all, they were just having their dinner earlier. It’s nice to get some coffee. “So I know it’s a little early, but um, I think I’ve decided to go to Princeton.” He tells Zayn. 

Zayn gapes, turning his head to look at the other boy. “That’s awesome!” 

Niall smiles. “It just seems like the right thing to do.” He says. “You know, my dad’s all excited about it and the cost of living in New Jersey..” 

“Way cheaper than New York. I’m sure your dad will cover your dorm fees though.” Zayn says, cutting Niall off. He knows that for a fact since he had been surveyed the area before. But that was before he blew up his audition for Juilliard, so yeah. That’s that. 

“Actually, I meant for you.” Niall tells the other boy. 

Zayn glances at the boy beside him. He raises his eyebrows confusingly. “For me?” 

Niall nods. “Um, yeah, I mean, I’m sure my dad would freak out if he thought we were gonna share an apartment, especially freshman year, but, um, you could find a place close to campus.” He tells Zayn happily. “Commute to New York maybe.” 

“Uh, what am I doing in New York exactly?” 

Niall stares at Zayn. “Whatever you want. That’s the great thing about it, right? I mean, you can do anything or everything.” He says and when Zayn doesn’t say anything back, Niall continues. “Or if New Jersey’s too far, I mean, I could definitely choose a school in the city.” 

Zayn clears his throat. Then he stops walking, making Niall to stop too. He turns around to face the other boy properly. “Look, I don’t know if I really want to live in the city next year.” He tells him honestly. “I don’t know what I want to do. I have no clue.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “So you’re gonna stay here?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No.” 

“Where are you gonna go?” Niall asks curiously. His heart drops slightly as he looks at Zayn’s expression. Why does he feels like they’re not at the same page at the moment? 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to explain to you. I just, you know, have no idea.” 

Niall stares at the other boy. “Why don’t you come with me?” He smiles. 

Zayn sighs a little, knowing that Louis was right. Niall is obviously thinking that they’re going to get back together by the look of it. “Look, Niall, I don’t know exactly what we’re doing here.” He says, staring at the other boy intently. “You know, I thought we were just hanging out. You know, maybe getting a bite to eat or something.” 

Niall nods. “Yeah, we are.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Look, it’s just…you can’t plan your life around me anymore.” He tells the other boy. “I mean, I’m so happy for you right now, you have no idea. This Princeton thing, this is great. This is exactly where you should be going. I’m so relieved that I wrote that essay right now.” 

Niall blinks his eyes, shaking his head a little. “Wait, you…what essay?” 

“The Princeton essay.” Zayn replies. 

“You wrote it?” 

Zayn nods. “Well, yeah, I mean, your dad filled out the application, but I wrote the essay.” He says and by the look of Niall’s expression, Zayn suddenly knows that the other boy knows nothing about that fact. “I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

Niall shrugs. “No, I just, I thought my dad did it.” 

“But I mean, you knew he asked me to, right?” 

“No, yeah, I remember.” Niall lies.

“So, I did.” Zayn says. “I mean, it’s no big deal. You got because of your grades, not cause of some essay.” He tells the other boy. “Look, the thing is, you should be going wherever you want to go. Princeton, Harvard, whatever you think is best. But you can’t make me a part of those decisions any more. Not right now, at least. I’m just, I’m too..” He trails off hesitantly, eyes begging for the other boy to understand his situation. 

“No, yeah, of course. I get it.” Niall says, shrugging Zayn’s words off. He forces a smile, trying to understand, trying to let Zayn knows that he supports whatever decision that the other boy makes. But when Zayn turns around as they start to walk again, Niall’s smile falters.

**************

“Niall, your mother and I are going to be gone for a few hours.” Bobby tells his youngest son as he stands in front of his room. “You think you can handle dinner by yourself?” 

Niall nods. “Oh, yeah. That’s fine.” He replies distractedly, as he tries to tidy up the things under his bed. 

Bobby frowns slightly, noticing the lack of chirpy tone that his son always possess. “You okay?” 

Niall glances up from his spot to look at his father. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He says, smiling slightly. “You guys have a good time.” He says. He mentally congratulates himself when his father drops the subject and just nods, before he walks away. 

Niall looks around, quite satisfied that his room is tidy enough before he stands up from the floor. He picks up his jacket, making sure that his phone and wallet are in the pocket before he walks over to the mirror. He reaches for his necklace on the table, starting to put it on. But halfway of putting it on, he freezes. He stares at the reflection of the pendant. He still remember the day that Zayn had given him the necklace. He stares at the pendant for a few more seconds, before he snaps out of his reverie and shakes his head. 

Then he pulls out his phone, already on his way out of the house. “Hello, Zayn, can I meet you now?”

**************

Niall knocks on the door, shifting his feet nervously. It doesn’t take long before Zayn opens the door, and Niall glances up. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Niall greets back with a small smile. “I know it’s late, thanks for letting me by.” He apologizes to the other boy. 

Zayn nods. “Yes, of course.” He says. “Come on in.” 

Niall lets himself in. They both walk towards the nearest spot, taking one of the seats at the dinner table. Niall stares at Zayn, as the other boy is sitting across him. “Can I ask you something?” He starts. 

Zayn nods, clasping his hands. “Sure.” 

Niall nods, pulling out the necklace from his pocket. “Do you remember when you gave me this?” He asks, staring at the other boy. 

Zayn smiles a little, nodding. “Uh, of course, we’d just gotten out of the movies. Uh, it was when that whole stupid STD test thing was happening.” 

Niall laughs slightly and nods. “Oh, right. Forgot about that.” He says. “I was so mad at you that day.” 

“I know. I remember.” Zayn says. 

Niall hums, staring at the pendant intently. Then he glances up to look at Zayn again. “But I remember is you telling me that the little engraved circle represented infinity.” 

“Yeah, I remember that too.” 

Niall nods. “I guess, I just don’t know why you said that. I’m a little bit confused.” He admits truthfully. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. He shifts his body so that he can sit up straighter and looks at the other boy. “Why? Uh, exactly, I mean, how so?” 

Niall shrugs. “Well, to me, when someone says infinite, it means forever.” He points out. “You know, not like a promise of forever, I didn’t think that, just more like, the possibility of a forever. I guess that I thought you thought that it was possible.” He quietly says. “You never did, not really, did you?” He asks and continues, not really letting Zayn to reply because he can see the clear answer from the other boy’s expression. “You bought the necklace after you wrote the essay.”

Zayn shakes his head slightly. “I don’t know. Maybe, I don’t remember.” He says. “Look, when I wrote that essay..”

“You didn’t think we’d work.” Niall finishes for him. “Remember that conversation too. And I remember feeling so confident that we would. I had no idea you were so not confident.” He points out. 

“No, it’s not that.” Zayn says, shaking his head. “It’s just I wanted you to have every possible option.” He explains. “When I said infinite, I meant it. I did always want you in my life. I still do in whatever way possible.” 

Niall stares at Zayn for a moment before he says something. “You mean like friends.” 

“Maybe.” Zayn replies, not really looking at Niall’s eyes. “I mean, as friends, is better than not at all. Right?” 

Niall smiles sadly, still gazing at Zayn. “So you never really thought we’d wind up together.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows when he looks at Niall again. “You mean like married?” 

Niall shrugs. “I know, it’s crazy, I’m just asking.” 

Zayn takes a deep breath. “Um, I don’t know.” He replies truthfully. “Uh, I mean, it seems kind of unlikely, right? High school sweethearts. Kinda..”

“Small town.” Niall smiles, but his eyes are brimming with unshed tears, not really knowing on how he is feeling at the moment. But he knows for a fact that his heart hurts. A lot. 

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, I guess, it’s just not the way that I grew up. Not what I’m used to. I don’t know, maybe, uh, maybe part of me never did really believe that..”

“Believe what?” 

“I don’t know, uh..” Zayn trails off unsurely, “You ever really love somebody that much, you know, enough for forever.” 

Niall’s lip quivers, and his tears start to roll down on his cheeks but he wipes it away with a shaky smile. “You know what’s funny about that, Zayn, is that I really did. I believed that.” He says, glancing at the pendant for a moment before he continues. “You know what it is, this whole time, you’ve been thinking about me, always making sure that I’m okay, no matter what.”

Zayn stares at Niall. “Is that wrong?” 

“No. No.” Niall says, shaking his head. “It’s just that I was always thinking about _us_.” He says. Then he puts the necklace on the table, pushing it slightly towards Zayn. 

“I’m sorry.” Zayn apologizes. 

Niall nods. “Yeah. Me too.” He adds, standing up. Then he bends down slightly to kiss Zayn’s temple briefly, before he walks out of the house. He can no longer wait there, afraid that he might break down right here and then. 

Niall feels like he is on an autopilot mode as he drives back home, making his way straight to his room. And once he reaches his bed, he curls into himself, and breaks down crying for the whole night long.


	20. There's an awful lot of breathing room but I can hardly move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad person. I'm sorry. Apologize for all the mistakes and suckiness (is that even a word?) of this chapter. 
> 
> Title taken from **[Matchbox Twenty - If You're Gone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clKAdQnwJ7A)**

“The MRI showed pretty much what we expected.” The doctor says, as she stares at the screen in front of her. “If you look here, you can see there’s a mass encroaching on your spinal cord, which is why you’ve been having those back aches. There was also some destruction of the spinous process.”

Bobby holds his wife’s hand, as they both listens to the result of the MRI scan. “Can it be resected?” 

The doctor nods, before turning around to face the couple. “I think so, yes.” She tells both of them. “But first, I’d suggest a course of chemotherapy.” 

“Chemotherapy?” Maura asks, after being silent from the moment the doctor started talking. “So it’s definitely cancer.” 

The doctor nods, confirming Maura’s suspicion. “Yes, the biopsy showed that the mass is a high-grade osteosarcoma – Stage IIB.” 

Maura shakes her head confusingly, glancing at her husband. “I don’t know what that means.” 

“Well, let her finish, sweetheart.” Bobby says gently. 

“Stage II means that the cells are abnormal and the B signifies that it’s already started to spread outside the bone into the surrounding tissue.” The doctor explains. 

Bobby nods. “Well, is chemotherapy our only option?” 

“Well, in cases like these, we’ve had the best result with neoadjuvant therapy, which is a series of pre-operative chemotherapy.” The doctor says. “It’s shown to shrink the tumor. It makes it easier to operate on.”

“So I’m having an operation? When? How soon?” Maura asks, and Bobby moves his hand to pat his wife’s shoulder, trying to comfort her. 

“It’s really too early to tell.” The doctor replies. “When did you started feeling the symptoms?” 

“There were no symptoms.” Maura says, glancing at Bobby. “I had a back ache, since when is that a symptom for cancer?” 

Bobby doesn’t reply. He stares at the doctor instead. “How soon can we start the treatments?” 

The doctor glances around her desk, looking for something. “Let me get my appointment book and we’ll see if we can squeeze in you tomorrow.” 

Maura’s eyes widen in surprise. “Tomorrow?” 

Bobby looks at his wife. “I know it feels fast..”

Maura shakes her head. “No. No. I can’t do this tomorrow.” She says. “I have a lunch and I have two board meetings. I told Niall that I would take him clothes shopping for graduation..”

Bobby cups his wife’s face in his hand, trying to calm her down. He knows she is freaking out. “Sweetheart, Maura, we can reschedule all that.” He tells her. “Let’s just do what the doctor tells us, okay?” 

Maura sighs heavily. “It’s just..I didn’t expect this.” She admits truthfully. 

“I know.” Bobby says. “I know.” 

Maura’s eyes starts to brim with tears, looking at her husband. “I’m scared, Bobby.”

**************

“Hey, dude, you should totally see if you can crash at Depp’s place in Miami, how sweet would that be?” Louis says, grinning at Zayn and raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Dude, this is gonna be so much fun.”

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, it would be fun, if I could figure out a way to pay for it.” He tells the older boy. “I need like two thousand bucks just for the tickets. Plus, that doesn’t include my food or my accommodation.” 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you just ask your dad for some money, you know? I’m sure he would buy you your own beach right now if you just talk to him for five minutes.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “I’m not gonna go there.” He says. “I was thinking about inviting someone else to go with me though. Two people, half as many expenses, you think it would be fun?” 

Louis stares at Zayn, then he starts to grin. “You’d want me to go with you?” 

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, you’re always talking about you’ve never been east of Iowa.” 

“Yeah, I know, I can’t go back there after the Cousin Jenny incident.” Louis says. 

Zayn nods. He still remembers about that story as Louis had told him. “Well, what do you say?” 

Louis groans. “Ah, man. I’d love too. I really would. But I kinda got this whole summer planned out.” He says regretfully. He really wants to go but he has his own plan set already and he doesn’t want to mess it up. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah, you got another job lined up or what?” 

Louis shakes his head. “Well, no. Not really. You know how you can take those classes online?” He asks and when Zayn nods, he continues. “It’s kinda cool. I mean, it’d be cooler if you had a robot teacher instead of a real teacher, but..”

“What? Are you taking classes online?” Zayn asks disbelievingly. 

“Just one.” Louis replies simply. “But I’m thinking of, uh, doing a couple of classes at MCC over the summer. You know, try to get a head start on the next fall semester, so..” he trails off and rolls his eyes when he sees Zayn’s expression. “You think I’m a turd.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I’m just…I’m surprised.” He tells the older boy truthfully. 

Louis shrugs. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Well, it’s a big enough deal for you to pass up a summer trip outside the country.” Zayn points out. 

Louis looks conflicted for a moment before he whines. “Um, well, maybe I shouldn’t. What’s a couple of classes gonna do for me anyways during the summer? It’s probably just getting to know your games.” 

“Well, it’s not camp.” Zayn deadpans. 

Louis nods. “I know. But it’s not oversea either.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, forget it, you should do this. I mean, you’re finally getting your stuff together, you know, don’t blow it now.” 

Louis sighs. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” He says. “You know, isn’t this kinda weird? Like I’m walking around being the responsible one, thinking about my future and whatnot. And you’re the one who’s all messed up and lost?” 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t know if I’m ready to accept the irony quite yet, but thank you for pointing it out.” 

Louis grins. “Hey, no, no. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll do something much worse than knocking up girlfriend, throwing away my future.” He deadpans, then he pauses as he looks at Zayn’s unamused expression. “Is it too soon for jokes?” 

Zayn snorts. “Yeah, just give me the map.”

**************

“Morning, neighbour, how’s it goin?”

Yasir almost chokes on his cereal when he hears the voice. He watches as Nina enters the backdoor and walking straight to the kitchen. “Oh, fine. Good. Morning.” 

Nina smiles at Yasir and her eyes lighten up when she sees something on the table. “Oh, is that fresh coffee?” She asks, reaching for a cup and pours the coffee. She sips the drink once, before putting down her cup and looks at Yasir again. “So, uh, what are you doing tomorrow night?” 

“Uh, I’m not really sure.” Yasir replies. “I’ve got some papers to file and some drawers to clean, but, uh, why?” 

“Well, I’d hate to steal you away from drawer cleaning, but, uh, I got two tickets for this opera thing and I thought maybe you’d want to go.” Nina says. 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “Uh, you mean with you?” 

Nina shakes her head. “I thought maybe you and Zayn could use them. A little father-son bonding time.” 

If Yasir feels a little bit disappointed, he doesn’t show it. Instead he sighs. “Oh, well, that’s a nice idea, but uh..”

“Still not talking?” Nina asks understandingly. 

Yasir shakes his head. “No, not so much. We’ve basically worked out a system where we occupy the same house, but never the same room.” He tells her. 

Nina sighs. “Yasir, I’m sorry.” She says. Then she pulls the tickets from her pocket. “Here, take them anyway. Consider them a thank you gift from me to you.” 

Yasir takes the tickets, raising his eyebrows. “What do I deserve a thank you gift for?” 

Nina grins. “Well, Paul told me about your little conversation last week. I gotta admit, kinda made me blush.” She admits shyly. 

Yasir nods, remembering the conversation that he had with the other doctor regarding Nina. “Well, what did he say? I mean, what did he say that I said?” 

“Well, I didn’t get a lot of details, just that you gave him some much needed perspective how on how great I am.” Nina says. “Surprising how long it takes some men to get that.” 

Yasir smiles. “Yeah, well, you know, that’s me. Here to help.” 

Nina raises her eyebrows as she looks at Yasir. “Are you feeling okay? You look a little sweaty.” 

“No, I’m fine. Just, uh, warm.” Yasir stammers, suddenly nervous when he’s around the woman. “It’s the flannel. It creates heat. You know what I’m saying. Anyway, I’m late for a patient.” 

“Are you sure that..?” 

Yasir shakes his head, grabbing his coat. “No, I’m fine. But, you stay, relax, have some more coffee. And, uh, I’ll see you later.” He says, before he practically running out of his house, leaving his neighbour alone.

**************

“This is his first prom ever, so it has to be great.” Niall tells the hairdresser, as he flips through the magazine in front of him. “Now there’s be photography involved so basically if you want us to use you on the day..”

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Wait, we’re coming back here on the actual day of prom?” 

Niall shrugs. “Depends. If you think you can style your hair like today.” 

Harry nods a little. He glances at Niall from the corner of his eyes. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be home right now, wallowing in post breakup depression? You know, living in your pyjamas and listening to songs that make you wanna rip your guts out.” 

Niall shrugs again. “Yeah, I already did that this morning and I have more plans for it this evening.” He tells the younger boy. “So right now, it’s all about George.” 

“Is George your boyfriend?” The hairdresser asks, smiling at Harry. 

Niall grins, looking at Harry. “Yeah, is George your boy-friend?” He teases. 

Harry chuckles, blushing slightly. “Uh, I object to that line of questioning.” 

Niall shakes his head. “You can’t object, I just broke up. You need to do things that make me happy.” 

“I just don’t feel comfortable labelling something that hasn’t even fully, you know, happened yet.” Harry tells the other boy. “It’s delicate.”

Niall nods. “No, I understand. He’s your first boy. You don’t want to break him.” 

Harry shrugs. “Well, we haven’t kissed yet. So how can I know if we’re really..?” 

Niall swivels his chair to turn around and look at Harry properly. “Wait, stop. You haven’t kissed yet? How is this possible?” He asks incredulously. 

“I don’t know. We just haven’t.” Harry replies simply, like it is not a big deal. “But I’m happy about it. You know, it means that he respects me. He’s always talking about how much he admires me, but not in like a bone collector kind of way. It’s sweet.” 

Niall hums, before he shrugs. “Yeah, I bet.” He says. He flips his snapback off, carding his fingers through his messy hair. He is too lazy to style it today, so snapback it is. 

“I think he’s just waiting for the right moment. You know, when it’s perfect.” Harry continues. 

Niall shakes his head a little. “Well, it doesn’t get much more perfect than your first prom.” He says. “I would bring extra gum if I were you tomorrow.” 

Harry’s eyes widen. “You think he’s gonna do it tomorrow?” 

Niall nods firmly. “Definitely. I’m sure he’s even picked out a song that he’s gonna have them play for you.” 

“Oh no, what if he chooses something awful.” Harry says, starting to panic. “I already know that he enjoys doing the Macarena.” 

Niall stares at the younger boy, smiling slightly. “Just enjoy it, okay?” He says. “Sometimes you forget to appreciate these moments and then suddenly you’re back into normal life trying to remember what it felt like. You know, when he looked at you a certain way or, I don’t know, brought you a cookie that was all nice and warm from the snack bar.” 

“Oh, don’t cry.” Harry says gently. “I’ll bring you a cookie.” 

Niall sighs, blinking back his tears, not wanting to cry in front of Harry, and chuckles slightly. “I’m okay.” He’s not.

**************

Bobby shakes his head as he spots his wife as he enters the kitchen. “You’re supposed to be resting.” He scolds.

Maura shakes her head, smiling at her husband. “Oh, I feel fine. And I think I’ve come up with something that will comfort everyone.” She tells him. “Roast chicken. No one objects to chicken. I’m not even serving vegetables, just potatoes. There’s rice pudding for dessert.” She adds. “You know, how Louis needs his sugar when he’s feeling upset.” 

“What a fearless meal, Maura. What would Dr. Adkins say?” 

Maura rolls her eyes. “Dr. Adkins can bite my bum.” She deadpans. “I just want everyone to feel full and happy and safe when we tell them.” 

Bobby smiles, gazing at his wife lovingly. “You’re a good woman, Maura. Have I told you that lately?” 

“Oh, I don’t mind if you repeat yourself.” Maura says. She bends down to get something on the lower cabinet when suddenly she feels pain on her back and winces. 

Bobby’s smile drops and he walks towards his wife. “Sweetheart, please sit down. Hmm?” He says, leading his wife to sit on the stool. “I can do this.” Once Maura sits down, Bobby starts to move around the kitchen to finish whatever that she was doing earlier. “So, uh, I was thinking about something. You don’t have to agree with me, you don’t even have to answer right away, just a thought.” He says, glancing at his wife. “I don’t think we should tell the kids yet.” 

Maura raises her eyebrows. “Why?” 

“I think it might behove us to wait, until we know more about what’s going on.” Bobby explains his reason. “I’m talking about a matter of weeks.” 

“But, I mean, wouldn’t they notice if I started feel ill or if I had to miss work?” Maura points out. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Well, sadly, they probably won’t.” He says. “They’re teenagers.” He adds. “We don’t have to decide on anything right now. Just a consideration.” He continues, before walking to refrigerator. 

Maura doesn’t know why but then she starts to cry and when Bobby turns around to see his wife, he frowns. “Sweetheart.”

Maura shakes her head, waving his husband off. “I’m sorry. This is silly.” 

Bobby wraps his arm around his wife, shaking his head. “No, it’s not at all.” 

“It’s just that..” Maura says shakily. “I can’t even finish making a simple meal.” 

“Well, first of all, there’s nothing simple about a roast chicken.” Bobby says, pulling his wife closer until she leans her head on his chest. “Maura, you have always taken care of me. Always made sure that my Grapenuts were up in the cabinet, white-collar shirts were properly hung. Now it’s my turn.” He says. “Let me take care of you for a change.” 

Maura smiles slightly, wiping her tears. “Well, you better get a move on if you’re gonna get this feast to the table on time.”

**************

“So, like I said on the web, all this stuff has gotta go.” Zayn says, gesturing to all of the stuffs in the studio.

The other guy nods. “This furniture, too? Because me and this couch have already formed quite a friendship.” The guy says as he plops down on the couch. 

“And I’m happy for you both.” Zayn deadpans. Then he moves towards the equipment at the corner of the room. “Uh, this syncs right up with the keyboard so you can see all the music on the screen as you play.” 

The guy sits up, looking at the equipment with wide eyes. “Whoa, are you friggin kidding me?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Uh, no, in fact, I am not.” 

The guy grins. “Excellent! What are you asking for that?” 

Zayn shrugs, contemplating on the price that he should sell the equipment. “I don’t know, I was thinking like, uh, five?” 

“Excellent! Excellent! Um, how much if you throw in the computer?” 

Zayn hums before he replies. “Uh, well, then it’s uh, you know, it’s probably gonna be more like fifteen-ish.” 

The guy nods. “Nice. Nice. I can’t even believe how great this stuff is. David’s gonna freak.” 

“So, you guys are starting a band?” Zayn asks. 

“Yeah, we’re laying down some tracks right now.” The guy replies. “You know we’re kind of, uh, punk rock meets new wave meets LeAnn Rimes, her early stuff. Um, it’s very stellar.” 

Zayn nods. “Sounds excellent.” 

“Yeah, well, it is excellent. I think I’m just gonna take it all.” The guy says, referring to the whole room. “And this is a very nice piano too. Is it a baby-G?” He asks. 

“Uh, yeah, but the piano’s not for sale. Sorry.” Zayn says. 

“Oh, that’s cool, man.” The guy says, pulling out his cheque book from his pocket. “So, why are you selling all this stuff? Giving up on a dream?” He asks curiously. 

“Sort of.” Zayn replies. “Actually I’m going abroad. I don’t need the baggage.” 

The guy glances up from his cheque book, looking at Zayn. “How long are you going for?” 

“Well, I’m thinking about not coming back.” Zayn replies truthfully. 

The guy nods. “Oh, that’s hard core.” He says. “But if you’re not coming back, then what are you doing holding onto the piano?”

**************

“Second day in a row, you’re late, Bobby.” Yasir points out when the other man steps into the building.

“Yes, I am aware. I had to pick up a few things from the pharmacy.” Bobby replies. 

Yasir nods. “Um, you missed your 9am with Mrs. Oliver. I covered for you.” 

“You want a thank you?” Bobby deadpans, staring at the other doctor. “I covered your ass plenty of times this year.”

“Hey, listen, it’s fine with me. I don’t mind taking more of your patients. Last year, you would..”

“Stop it.” Bobby snaps. “I can’t do this with you right now.” He says. He feels guilty for snapping because he knows the other man knows nothing about what’s happening at the moment. So he takes a deep breath, before he speaks up again. “Maura has cancer.” He says before walking towards his office. 

Yasir blinks his eyes, too shocked to response. Then he follows Bobby’s trail to his office. “I don’t know what to say, Bobby. I’m so sorry.” 

Bobby shrugs his coat off, shaking his head. “So there is a tumor encroaching her spine. Fairly large one too.” He tells the other man. “Imagine the kind of pain she’s in, cause I can’t. I truly cannot.” 

Yasir nods understandingly. “What stage?” 

“IIB.” Bobby replies quietly. “Poor Maura, I thought just having a little spell, nothing to be alarmed about.” He says. “Why would it be? The woman barely sneezes at the height of flu season.” 

“Well, it’s a good sign. It shows that she’s strong.” Yasir points out. 

“Oh, nothing slows her down. Not my wife.” Bobby says. “Mayor of Mullingar, mother of two, she can take care of the whole world and still have dinner on the table by 6.” He adds. “She looked at me last night, as we were getting into bed. I saw this fear in her eyes. Didn’t know she had it in her. Well, she does now. And there’s nothing I can say to her.” Bobby says helplessly. “Because all I know is the facts and they scare the hell out of me. So what good am I? Huh? What good am I?!” 

Yasir just stand silently, watching Bobby as the man is letting out his feeling. “And it’s my fault.” Bobby says suddenly. 

“Why?” 

Bobby sits on the desk, sighing heavily. “She came to me weeks ago, months ago. Told me she was…her back was hurting. She wasn’t feeling right. I brushed it off.” 

“But you didn’t know.” Yasir says. 

“Yeah, of course, I didn’t know.” Bobby says bitterly. “Had she been a patient, someone else’s wife, someone else’s mother, I would have made it my business to know! I would have run tests! I would have taken precautions to rule things out, to give some stranger peace of mind. My own wife…” He pauses. “I promised myself to her in sickness and health. And then the moment she truly needs me, I just..failed her.”

**************

“Say cheese!”

Clicks. 

“Okay, great.” Niall says, glancing up from his lens and stares at the two boys who are standing in front of him. “Now, um, could you two just move a little closer or something?” He orders and smiles when George pulls Harry’s body closer to him. “Yeah, like that. Okay, uh, hey George, maybe put your arm around him or something.” Niall says eagerly and nods in satisfaction when the boy does the pose. “Perfect. Okay, just pretend that I’m not here.” 

Harry chuckles, shaking his head before he starts to turn around. “Okay, then.” He says, as in to tell Niall that he has enough with the little photography session. Unfortunately, his lovely date quickly grabbing him and turns him around to face Niall’s camera again. 

“Can I get copies of these?” George asks happily. 

Niall grins and nods, giving the younger boy a thumb up. “Definitely, George. Uh, maybe you could give him a little kiss on the cheek.” He tells the smitten boy. 

Harry’s eyes widen, shooting a dagger look to his best friend. “I think it’s kind of a private moment, don’t you, Niall?” 

Niall ignores Harry’s comment and starts to click the camera button again. One moment later, he starts to groan. “Oh, crap, I think my battery just died! Damn it!” He mutters. Then he looks at both of the boys. “Okay, don’t worry, I’ve got another one upstairs. Don’t move. Don’t talk. Cause I can’t miss a single moment of this enchanting evening, okay?” He warns before he dashes to his room. “I’ll be right back.” He shouts over his shoulder on his way up. 

Harry shakes his head. “He seems so excited.” George comments, and Harry nods, agreeing with George. He knows how Niall loves to work with the camera. Harry just don’t like it when he is the subject of Niall’s picture. Although, he is glad that at least Niall doesn’t mope around about the break up. “Maybe we should bring something back for him? Like a crown.” 

Harry glances at the boy, shaking his head. “I…I think that might be weird.” 

George is about to reply when a moment later, the front door is opened. Harry smiles. “Hi, Louis.” 

Louis closes the door, then he stares at the boys in front of him. “Hey.” He greets simply. He looks at Harry from head to toe. “Damn, you really poured yourself into that outfit, huh?” He comments. 

Harry’s smile falters. 

“Does that mean it’s too tight? Can you breathe?” George asks and Harry shakes his head. “I’m fine, George.” 

Louis makes his way to sit on the couch, fumbling with the remote control to find the channel. “What are you doing getting ready here anyways? Don’t you have your own staircase to walk down looking all shiny?” 

Harry stares at Louis, feeling annoyed out of sudden at the older boy. “I came here for Niall. And, um, you can tell him we said good night.” He says, before he pulls George’s hand, and walks out of the house.

**************

“It’s great, isn’t it? Huh?”

Louis nods absentmindedly, his eyes are still glancing around the compartment. “Uh, where’s the bedroom?” He asks curiously. 

The landlady looks at Louis. “You’re standing in it.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows. “And the kitchen?” 

“Right over here.” The landlady says, leading Louis to one of the corners. “$600 a month. This, is a steal. And you, my friend are the first person to see it. So, before all those other people get here tomorrow, if I were you..”

Louis raises his finger, shaking his head. “Will you just give me a minute? I’m just gonna call my associate. And..”

The landlady nods. “Um, please.” 

Louis dials the familiar number and smiles brightly when the person on the other end is picking up his call. “Hey, is, uh, $600 a steal for a crappy studio?” 

“Oh, hello, Louis.” Harry says from the other end. 

“Cause I’m standing here right now and don’t really see myself living here?” Louis keeps talking. 

Harry clicks his tongue. “I don’t know if you realized earlier in your egomaniacal haze, but I’m actually at my prom right now.” He deadpans. 

“Oh, right.” Louis says. “How come I don’t hear any music?” 

“Because I am in the bathroom.” Harry replies. 

Louis hums. “Number 1 or number 2?” He jokes. 

“No!” Harry replies quickly. “Louis, we do not have a toilet talk kind of relationship. Okay?” 

Louis laughs, shaking his head amusingly. “Okay, okay. Good to know.” 

Harry rolls his eyes. “Why are you calling me?” 

“Well, I thought that you said you were gonna help me with this apartment hunting.” 

Harry shakes his head, though he knows Louis can’t see it. “First of all, I was going to help you, but certainly not while I’m at my prom.” He points out. “And secondly, uh, I’m clearly not gonna help you now.” He adds, irritated. 

“Why not?” Louis presses. 

“Poured myself in?” Harry asks, still annoyed with Louis’s comment earlier. “Poured myself in? What is that? Like a batter into a pastry slut bag or something?” 

Louis chuckles. “Oh, are you talking about the outfit thing?” 

“Yes! I am talking about the outfit thing. Why..” Harry says and pauses, before he starts to sigh. “Why would you say something like that?” 

Louis shakes his head. “Because it just didn’t look like the kind of outfit I would see you buying for yourself.” 

Harry snorts. “You have never seen me in this kind of outfit before tonight and the first time you do, that’s what you choose to say?” 

Louis sighs. “Look, there’s nothing wrong with a tight outfit or with a pastry bag so just chill out.” 

Harry groans. “I..I just..I have to go, okay?” 

“Okay? Uh, bye.” Louis says. But then he quickly speaks up. “Wait, hold on. Do you and that Grunge kid have a toilet talk kind of relationship?” 

“His name is George. And no…I don’t know.I…good bye.” Harry says he before hangs up on the older boy. 

Louis shakes his head, staring at his phone for a moment before he turns around to face the landlady again.

“Well?” 

“Yeah, it turns out we might just need a little more time to think about it.” Louis says.

**************

Harry smiles at George, as the latter opens the door for him and pulls Harry’s hand into his grip, leading both of them to the front porch.

“Wasn’t that punch just amazing?” George asks while they’re walking. “I couldn’t tell if you were enjoying it, but I like to pour glasses.” 

Harry nods, smiling at the boy. “Yeah, it was really good.” He says. “I think they added some extra sugars.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I was thinking that too.” George says. Once they reach the front porch, the boy lets go of Harry’s hand and stares at him. “Uh, yeah, I guess I should be going.” 

Harry’s smile drops a bit, slightly disappointed. He was expecting a kiss, at least. “Okay.” 

George nods, before he starts to turn around to leave. It takes a moment before Harry shakes his head. “No.” He says, making the other boy turns around again. “I mean, wait.” 

Harry stares at George as the other boy is looking at him confusingly. “I was just wondering, if you were thinking about maybe kissing me, ever.”

George’s eyes widen. “You mean, uh, like now?” He asks nervously. 

“Or not. Um, it’s just that..” Harry trails off unsurely. “You know, we’ve had like four dates. And one of them involved formal wear which really makes it more like six dates. And personally I think they’ve all been very nice, but, you know, if you don’t like me..”

“Of course I like you!” George says quickly. “You’re the only person who understands why a turtleneck vest is stupid.” 

“Well, of course, because your arms get cold.” 

“Exactly.” 

Harry smiles nervously, stepping closer to the other boy. “So, um, why don’t we just go on 3?” 

“Yeah, uh, three’s good.” 

Harry’s smile brightens. “Um, okay, one, two..” And George’s lips is already on his before he can even finish with ‘three.’

**************

“You’re in my room.” Zayn points out when he enters his room, and finding his father on the couch.

Yasir glances up from his reading. “You have something to tell me?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No. Not really.” 

“There’s nothing you want to share with me?” Yasir asks. “No major changes? You haven’t bought or sold anything substantial?” 

Zayn turns around to face his father. “Ah, you must have seen the garage.” 

Yasir nods. “Yeah, I did. Where is everything?” 

“I sold it.” Zayn replies simply. 

“Say again?” 

Zayn shrugs. “I sold it. It’s gone.” 

Yasir stares at his son. “Well, get it back.” 

“Uh, no, I can’t.” Zayn replies. 

Yasir shakes his head. “Yeah, you can and you will.” 

“No, I can’t and I know you think I did this just to get back at you or get even or whatever, but that’s not the case, alright? I’m putting together a plan, I needed some cash.” Zayn explains. 

“It’s not your money.” Yasir points out. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “All that stuff was a gift for me, right?” He points out. “Well, I didn’t need the stuff anymore and I needed the money so I could get out of here.” 

“Get out of here?” Yasir asks, raising his eyebrows at his son. “Where do you plan on going?” 

“USA.” Zayn replies, then he quickly continues. “And before you explode, don’t, okay? Just don’t.” He pleads. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep living here hating you as much as I do. I can’t figure out a way not to hate you.” He admits truthfully. “Yeah, I wake up every morning in this…” he trails off, pausing. “There’s nothing left here for me. Can you understand that?” 

Yasir sighs before he nods. “Well, I understand your frustration, Zayn, but if you’d just let me help you.”

Zayn shakes his head. “You can’t help me and we can’t keep having this argument.” 

“I know we can’t. I don’t want to have it either.” Yasir says. “But you’re 18 years old. You don’t have a college education, you have no job possibilities, what are you gonna do?” 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know. But that’s what I was hoping I’d find out.” He says. “I’m gonna need my passport.” 

Yasir sighs, standing up, before he looks at his son again. “I’m sorry, Zayn, but I just don’t think I can let you do this.” 

“Well, you can’t really stop me.” Zayn quips.

**************

“Fridge, closet, bathroom.”

Louis glances around the compartment. “Uh, so, am I just like crazy or does this look a lot like the last place you showed me?” 

“Which one?” The landlady asks. “I’ve shown you 9 so far.” 

Louis shrugs. “I’m trying to keep my options open. I wanna sample the milk before I buy the cow.” 

“Uh, technically, you’d be renting the cow.” Zayn pipes in. 

“Oh, excuse me, boys.” The landlady says as she pulls out her ringing phone. “Perhaps this is someone who will actually pay me for my services.” She says sarcastically before she walks out of the room, leaving both Louis and Zayn alone. 

Louis glances around before he looks at Zayn. “So what do you think, man? I can’t even tell anymore.” 

Zayn shrugs. “Uh, it’s alright. I mean, it doesn’t smell like hot dogs. That other place..”

“I know. Above a wiener schnitzel.” Louis says, shuddering slightly as he recalls about the last place that the landlady had shown them. “What are you gonna do? You sure you don’t want to be my roommate, man? Two bedrooms is way bigger, lot cheaper. Could be kind of stylin?” 

Zayn shakes his head. “I can’t. I got the money together for my plan.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, that was pretty fast.” He points out. “What’d you do? Sell your soul?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, it was, uh, actually easier than I thought.” He says. “So, uh, you think this place has central air?” 

Louis glances around and shrugs. “I don’t know. Is that important?” He asks. And then he groans loudly. “Oh, damn, Harry had this whole list of questions I’m supposed to ask about this place and I lost it. Now I don’t remember any of that crap.” He whines. 

“So? Call him.” Zayn says simply. 

Louis shakes his head. “I can’t. He’s mad at me.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah, what did you do this time?” 

“Oh, nothing.” Louis says. “He thinks I insulted him.” 

“Did you?” 

Louis sighs. “Well, uh, not intentionally. I..I said something about his outfit and then he got all worked up.” 

Zayn nods. “Oh right. He’s got that boyfriend now, you know.” 

Louis shakes his head. “Oh, no, he’s not his boyfriend.” He grumbles under his breath, but he knows Zayn hears him anyway. 

Zayn rolls his eyes, looking at Louis. “Well, they’re dating. I mean, he took Harry to prom and he wore a nice outfit. What would you call him?” 

“Personally, I’d call him an ass hat.” Louis deadpans. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows amusingly. Then he stares at Louis knowingly. “Wow, jealous of George Shelley. I never thought I’d see the day.” 

Louis laughs, shaking his head. “Oh, yeah, you got me. I’m jealous of George Shelley.” 

“Okay, alright.” Zayn says, holding his arms up, not wanting to prolong the subject. He walks over to the window. “Do you think these are the original mouldings?” 

“I mean, I should probably apologize to him, right? Cause I mean, um, right?” 

Zayn rolls his eyes before he turns around to face Louis again. “Okay, I’m gonna go out on a limb and make an observation here. We’ve been standing in somebody else’s apartment for the last five minutes and you haven’t check the water faucet yet.” He points out. “Instead, you’ve been obsessing over Harry.” 

“Dude, I am not obsessing!” 

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I mean, I think it’s great. I think you guys would make a really cute couple.” 

Louis laughs. “Oh, yeah, What? Uh huh, okay.” 

“Oh come on, you haven’t thought about it?” 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Come on, bro, first of all, I don’t enjoy thinking, okay? Secondly, uh, come on. I’m not into Harry. He’s, you know, I mean, he’s not my type. I mean, he’s cute, but, he’s not like, you know, I’d make out with you cute.” 

“Hey, brother here.” Zayn warns. “Put some limits in our discussion, okay?” 

Louis nods. “Okay, okay, sorry.” He apologizes. “You know, besides, he’s my friend. So that, you know, when I have a friend, that’s just how it is. You know, it’s just like that, so..yeah.” He rambles on. “What? What? Hello, why are you smiling?” 

“You realize the last two things you said made no sense, right?” Zayn teases. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Oh, go to USA already.”

**************

Bobby watches as his wife combs her hair in front of the mirror. When she realizes he is in the room, she turns around and smiles. “How are you feeling?”

Maura shrugs. “Alright.” She replies. “Better than this morning.” She says. “Did you remember to get the aloe gel?” 

Bobby’s eyes widen. “Oh, no, damn it!” He says, angry at himself. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Maura says gently. “We’ll pick it up tomorrow.” 

Bobby stares at his wife. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” He apologizes. 

Maura shakes her head. “It’s okay. It’s not the end of the world.” 

“No, no, Maura.” Bobby says, shaking his head. “I mean, I am sorry. For not listening to you, for dismissing your symptoms.” 

“Stop.” Maura says firmly. “Your apologies are no good here.” She says. 

Bobby nods, sitting at the edge of the bed. Maura walks over to her husband. “Do you know what I was thinking about this morning?” She asks. “Our first date. Do you remember?” 

“Of course.” Bobby replies. “The annual fall Thaw Festival.” 

Maura smiles and nods. “I wanted to ride the teacups, but you were scared.” 

“At the teacups? I think not.” Bobby says. 

Maura snorts, shaking her head. “Oh, you were too. You made up some excuse about the ride not being up to standards. I convinced you.” 

Bobby smiles softly, looking at his wife. “As I recall, we shared our first kiss on those teacups.” 

Maura nods. “Yes, we did.” She says. “And that’s when I knew we would fall in love.” 

“Really?” Bobby asks. “Was I that good at kissing?” 

Maura shakes her head. “No, dear.” She deadpans. “I remember feeling terrified to ride again. It was so much faster than I expected. My stomach started doing flips. I couldn’t tell you, not after making such a fuss so, I just buried myself in the nook of your arm and after a few minutes I wasn’t scared at all. I felt safe.” She says, staring right into her husband’s eyes. “And that is how I felt every moment of my life with you since then. You have never ever let me down, Bobby Horan. Not me. Not the children.” She tells him. “This family is what it is because of your strength and your commitment.” 

“Yes, well my strength comes entirely from you.” Bobby says, his voice cracking slightly. 

“And mine from you.” Maura says. “And Louis and Niall get theirs from us.” She adds. “The four of us are a team, Bobby.”

Bobby stares at his wife. “So you think we should tell the kids.” 

“Only if you feel ready.” Maura tells him. “If you’re not, I’ll wait. I trust you.” She says. They both look at each other for a moment before they are interrupted by a knock and a bouncy young boy entering the room. 

“Can we please order the food? I’m starving and Louis is threatening to cook.” Niall whines. He looks at both of his parents and when he sees the solemn expressions on their faces, he frowns. “What’s wrong?”

**************

“Hey.” Yasir greets as he opens the door. “You knocked.”

Nina nods, smiling at him. “Yeah, I did.” 

“Well, that’s new.” Yasir comments. 

Nina nods again. “Yeah, I just thought I’d try it.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “Really? Why?” 

“I don’t know, it just felt..uh..” Nina trails off. “Well, actually, it felt weird but I feel a little weird right now so..” 

Yasir stares at her confusingly. “Well, you wanna come in and have some coffee?” 

“That depends.” Nina replies. “Are you gonna run off and leave me alone with it again? Cause that’s kinda what started the weirdness in the first place.” 

Oh. “I’m sorry about that.” Yasir apologizes. “And..”

“Are you mad at me?” Nina asks, letting herself in, walking straight to the kitchen. 

“Mad at you? No, why would I be mad at you?” Yasir asks, trailing behind his neighbour. 

Nina shrugs. “Well, I don’t know. I mean, maybe I’m just being paranoid. It’s just…it just seemed like something was off with us the other day.” She tells him. “Am I being crazy or were you being stranger than normal?” 

Yasir sighs, shaking his head. “No, you’re not crazy.” He tells her. “It’s Zayn. He’s leaving.” 

Nina blinks her eyes. “I think I’ll take that coffee now.” 

Yasir nods, grabbing the cup and pouring down the coffee. “He thinks he wants to travel the world or I don’t know what he thinks.” He tells her. “He sold the piano.”

Nina gapes in surprise. “No.” 

“Yeah. What am I supposed to do?” 

“God, Yasir, I am so sorry. I…” Nina trails off. “I feel like such an ass. Here, I thought it was all about me.” 

Yasir shakes his head. “No. No. It’s okay. I was definitely acting strange.” He admits truthfully. Although he knows part of the reason was really because of his feeling for her, but for now, he’d settle with another excuse for his action, which is the truth too. 

Nina shakes her head. “Oh, come here.” She says, opening her arms to hug the man. Yasir falls into Nina’s embrace, relishing the feeling that he doesn’t even know how to describe it yet. “Whatever you want. Anything at all, you know that right?” 

Yasir nods against her shoulder. “I know.” 

“Seriously, I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with this stuff by yourself anymore.” Nina says once they pull away. “I may have missed the beginning of the drama, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. So it’s you and me, Yasir.” 

“Nina..”

“Don’t.” Nina says quickly. “You don’t need to. That’s what neighbours are for, right?” 

More than that, Yasir wants to say, but he just nods silently instead.

**************

“Wow.” Niall says in surprise as he enters the garage and glances around. The room is totally empty. There is nothing there anymore, not even the piano.

Zayn stops sweeping, before he turns around to face Niall. “I know.” 

“Feels so small.” Niall comments. 

Zayn nods. “I know.” 

And then it happens again. The awkward silence. The uncomfortable atmosphere that Niall doesn’t even know will exist between him and Zayn. “This is weird.” He blurts out, breaking the silence. 

“Well, you didn’t have to come by. I mean, I could’ve dropped your stuff off for you.” Zayn says. 

Niall shakes his head, putting his hands into his sweater jacket. “That’s okay, I needed to get out of the house.” 

Zayn nods understandingly. “Well, I know that feeling.” 

Niall smiles slightly, staring at Zayn. 

“Okay, uh, well, I’m pretty sure that’s all your stuff.” Zayn says, pointing at the box on the floor. “Um, I couldn’t remember who bought the Bruno Mars CD, you or me so..”

“You bought it.” Niall says, bending down to see the content of the small box. 

“Oh, well, in that case, you can have it.” Zayn says. 

Niall nods. “Thank you.” He says. “I’ll check again, but I don’t think there’s anything left of yours.” He says, trying to remember. “Except that grey sweatshirt which I’ve decided you can’t get back.” 

Zayn waves his hands off. “Ah, well, it looks way better on you anyway.” 

Niall smiles slightly. He shifts his feet nervously. 

“Look, you know what, there’s something..” 

“So listen, there was something..”

They both speak up at the same time. 

Niall shakes his head. “Sorry, you go.” 

Zayn nods. “Okay, uh, well, the thing is, I’m…uh, I’m leaving..” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Where you going?” He asks curiously. 

“Uh, America. Probably Miami area. Always wanted to go there.” Zayn tells the other boy. “Yeah, I take off next week. That’s why I sold all this stuff, so I could like pay for my trip and you know, all that stuff.” 

Niall nods. “When are you coming back?” 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know.” He says. “I mean it’s an open ended ticket so..I just figure I’d just go out there and see what happens, you know.” 

Niall musters a shaky smile, feeling like his heart is broken again. Zayn is leaving and apparently he is not enough to be the reason for the other boy to stay in the town. “Kinda catching me off guard here.” He admits. 

“I know. And I’m sorry. I just..” Zayn trails off. “I didn’t know what else to do. I don’t want to lose touch with you, alright? I got my email. I’m gonna call you as soon as I have an international phone number. Okay?” 

Niall swallows thickly, averting Zayn’s eyes because he’s afraid that he’ll cry in front of the other boy. He knows it’s unfair. They’re no longer together but he just can’t help it. Everything is still too fresh and the wound is still wide open. “Sure, yeah.” He mumbles. 

“I just..I can’t be here right now.” Zayn says, trying to explain. “Yeah, I figured you’d understand. You know me better than anybody, right?” 

Niall nods. “Yeah, uh, no, you know, I don’t know what to say, but I think it’s a good idea.” He tells the other boy. “I really do, Zayn.” He adds sincerely. After all, it’s for Zayn’s sake and happiness, and who is he to deny that? 

Zayn nods gratefully. “Thank you.” He says. “Uh, what were you gonna tell me? Earlier, you..did you want to say something?” 

“Right, um,” Niall trails off, clearing his throat. “Yeah, no, I think, I got my housing for next year.” 

Zayn’s face breaks into a grin. “That’s great.”

“Yeah.” Niall says. “It’s really close to campus. I told you I decided on Princeton, right?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, yeah.” 

“I think it’s gonna be good.” 

“Well, great, I mean, again, you know, congratulations. That’s awesome.” Zayn says. 

Niall smiles slightly. “Thanks.” He says. “I should probably get going.” 

Zayn watches as Niall starts to pick up the box from the floor. “Yeah. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, I mean, you could stay, we could maybe hang out for a second.” He says and when Niall stares at him, Zayn nods understandingly. “Oh, you’re right, we can’t do that. Never mind. Sorry.” 

Niall gets the box, holding it tightly, as he stares at Zayn again. “Goodbye, Zayn.” 

“Bye, Niall.”

**************

Niall stares at the CD, leaning back against the side of his bead. He still remember the day Zayn bought the CD and they both listened to it together. It seems like everything is just a memory now. And it hurts. A lot. He misses Zayn. He misses the time when everything was easy.

“It felt like kissing a piece of salmon.” He hears Harry’s voice, and he hastily wipes his tears away.

Harry plops down on the bed, oblivious to Niall’s state at the moment. “I mean that’s really the only way that I could describe it not that I’ve kissed a fish before, but you know what I mean.” 

“It was wet?” Niall asks, and he realizes his voice is thick and scratchy. He hopes Harry won’t notice that he has been crying. 

Harry nods. “Yeah, but not just wet, it was like, here, lick your hand.” 

Niall shakes his head slightly. “Harry, I’m really not in the mood. I’m sorry.” He says quietly. 

Harry’s eyes widen. “Oh my gosh, I’ve just been blabbing about this stupid George kiss while you’re..” He trails off. “I just thought maybe you didn’t want to talk about it. I was just trying to fill the air.” 

Niall nods understandingly. “It’s okay, really.” He says. He knows it’s not Harry’s fault. “I just..”

Harry moves closer, trying to see Niall’s face from his position. “Was it awful seeing him? What did he say? What did you say?” 

“I, uh, we really didn’t say much at all. It was, it was okay, I guess.” Niall replies. 

Niall may sound like everything is alright but Harry knows the older boy is sad judging by his tone. “Niall…” 

“I’m fine, really.” Niall assures. 

Harry shakes his head. “No, you’re not. And you don’t have to be.” He says. “I mean, he was just this like huge love of your life. And now..”

Niall’s eyes starts to water again. He shakes his head. “It’s not that, Harry.” He says brokenly before he starts to sob. He tries to wipe the tears away but they keep pouring out of his eyes. 

Harry quickly moves, sitting down beside Niall on the floor, facing his best friend in worry. “What is it?” He asks concernedly. He never sees Niall being as sad as he is at the moment and it makes Harry’s heart breaks. 

“You know what’s crazy?” Niall says thickly, still trying to wipe away his tears by the back of his hand. “Less than month ago, we were sitting in this room and we were, talking about your future, and God, it was so huge. And now, we’re in the same room, talking about your first kiss and it feels just as huge in a way.” 

Harry nods. “Yeah, in a way.” He says quietly, waiting for Niall to continue. 

Niall turns his head to stare at Harry. “But it’s lighter somehow. Like..” He trails off between his crying. “Like..it doesn’t…it takes up the same amount of head space and the same amount of heart space, but it doesn’t clench so much, doesn’t weigh you down, you know.” 

“Just tell me what it is, Niall.” Harry coaxes softly, wrapping his arm around Niall’s shoulder, bringing the older but smaller boy closer to him. “Say it fast.” 

“It’s my mom.” Niall says sadly. “She has cancer.” He says before he breaks down again. 

“Oh my god.” Harry says, rubbing Niall’s back, who is now crying against his chest. His heart breaks as he feels how the other boy is shaking, sobbing brokenly.

**************

Louis raises his eyebrows in confusion when he spots Harry by himself when he enters the kitchen. “Are you cooking dinner?” He asks, walking closer towards the boy.

Harry nods. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to eat it if it’s bad.” 

Louis walks over to the table, looking at one of the dishes before he starts to smell it. “I’m sure that it won’t be bad.” 

“It won’t be, but I just thought I’d give you the out in case you wanna order a pizza instead.” Harry says. 

Louis nods. Then he turns around to face the younger boy. “So, listen, I should probably apologize.” 

Harry shakes his head. “No, you don’t have to.” He says, staring at Louis. “Seems kind of silly now, doesn’t it?” 

Louis shrugs. “Well, I don’t know. You did sound mad.” 

“It was a pretty bad night all around.” Harry tells the other boy. “How about we just forget it ever happened?” 

“Fair enough.” Louis says. Then he looks around. “I can’t believe you know how to make something out of scratch. I don’t know how to make anything, except for maybe sandwiches.” 

Harry shrugs. “Uh, it’s not really a big deal.” He says. “Kind of had to learn early, you know. Or else we Maliks will be starved to death. Or maybe bloated up with pizza.” 

Louis chuckles. “Oh, yeah, I suppose.” He says. “Maybe I should learn how to cook too.”

Harry smiles. “You taking my job away from me already?” He jokes. 

Louis shakes his head. “No, it’s just, I feel bad, you know, you have to do this at home, and it doesn’t seem right that you should have to do it for ours too.” 

Harry shrugs. “Seems right to me.” He says. “I mean, you guys have been like my extended family this whole year.” He adds. “Not that I, I mean, I don’t think of you like my brother or anything..”

“Oh, I know, I get it.” Louis says. He watches as Harry starts to cut the vegetables, and something inside Louis’s heart sparks with warmness. “Is there something I could do? Give me something to do.” 

Harry smiles. “Okay. Yeah.” He says, turning around, walking over to the stove. Then he takes a spoon, taking a bit of the gravy. “Here. Taste this.” He says, spoon-feeding Louis for him to taste it. “Does it need more salt?” 

Louis shakes his head. “No, it’s perfect.” Just like you, he wants to add.

**************

**  
_3 weeks later…._   
**

 

“I’m almost ready, Maura.” Bobby says, grabbing his coat. “So I was thinking, after today’s appointment, we should go out for breakfast, celebrate the final round of chemotherapy with a few pounds of pancakes.” He adds. “Extra butter, you ask, why not, I say. Let’s throw caution to the wind. Today is a good day, Maura. I can feel it in my bones.” 

Maura who has been silent, finally looks up at her husband. “Bobby?” 

“What is it?” 

“I can’t feel my legs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I haven't finished with final draft of the next two chapters. But I'm already on full board with continuing with Part 4. Just need to get my finger-crossed that I can finish this series.


	21. And I never meant to do you wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would like to apologize for being suck at updating this story. Life happens. Got distracted. Lost inspiration. Writer's block. Laziness. Yes, all of that, with millions of other reasons that I can't list enough. *sigh*. Anyway, this is the end guys. It's been nice narrating this story (credit to Everwood though). It has been one hell of a ride, I guess. Because sometimes I do lost inspiration of writing Ziall (help me!). Plus, I always found great Ziall fics, written by talented writers and I felt like my story is too lame compared to them. lol. Anyway, enough with the rant. I'm posting TWO (2) chapters, including epilogue. So, yeah, enjoy. :) 
> 
> Title taken from: [**Coldplay - Trouble**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcASPx3-HuI)

Zayn opens the backdoor quietly. He steps into the house, spotting his father and brother right away. “You guys finished eating already?” He asks.

His father glances up from his plate, gazing at him. “Well, there’s food on the stove, I could heat it up for you.” 

Zayn moves around to the fridge, grabbing a can of coke as he shakes his head. “No, it’s okay, I’ll get some later.” He assures his father. It’s a little bit awkward, he knows that but sooner or later he knows he has to talk to his father. 

He leans against the counter as his father nods and continues to finish a few bits of his meal, before the man glances up to look at him again. “Oh, there’s some mail that came for you.” His father tells him and Zayn’s eyes widen. He moves to the pile of letters on the table before he finds one with his name. 

“Tickets?”

Zayn nods, confirming his father’s guess. “Yeah.” 

“Tickets? To where?” Zayn hears Harry asks, startling him a bit because apparently he forgets about his brother who is also there.

“Uh, Miami, actually.” Zayn replies, averting eye contact with his brother. He feels slightly guilty for not talking to Harry about the plan beforehand, but what’s done is done. And he really hopes that his brother will understand. 

“Is that where you’re starting?” 

Zayn nods, shrugging slightly at his father’s question. “Yeah, I figured I’d ease into a country where I at least spoke the language.” He tells the man. “Plus, I’ll probably look tan by comparison.” 

Harry watches the exchange between both of the older guys curiously. “I bet you’re going for longer than six weeks, right?” He guesses, judging by the gesture that his brother emits at the moment. 

“Probably.” Zayn replies. 

“How long are you going for?” 

Zayn sighs. He doesn’t really know how to break the news to his family. But he knows he needs to tell them after all. “Uh, I don’t know.” 

_That_ , catches Harry’s attention as he straightens up and gazes at his brother confusingly. “What do you mean you don’t know? Look at your ticket. When does it say you’re coming back?” 

Zayn stares at his brother. “Uh, it’s an open-ended ticket so I can just come back whenever I want.” He tells the younger boy, feeling like a horrible person when he watches as his brother’s expression change. 

Harry’s face turns into a frown, as he stares at his brother. Why doesn’t he know that? “Well, when are you leaving?” He asks quietly. 

“Friday.” 

“This Friday?” 

Zayn turns his attention to his father and nods. “Yeah.” He replies. 

“Well, what about graduation?” 

Zayn shrugs casually. “What about it?” 

Harry shakes his head disbelievingly. He doesn’t really know what to say anymore. To be honest, he feels slightly hurt that Zayn is taking off, without even telling him about his plan of not looking forward to come back. Without a word, he stands up, his chair makes a screeching sound before he takes off, leaving his brother and father alone. 

Yasir watches his youngest son walks off, sighing, before he turns to look at Zayn again. “You might want to talk to him.”

“Ah, he’ll be alright.” Zayn says. When his father is staring at him quietly, and not saying anything, Zayn shakes his head. “What?”

“Nothing, I’m just surprised.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes at his father. “Well, you really thought I was gonna stay around for graduation? Do I look like somebody who wants to be walking around in a giant silk robe in public?” 

Yasir shakes his head. “No, it’s not that.” He responds. “It’s just that everything’s going on with the Horans right now, and I know you’re broken up with Niall..” 

Hearing that name, Zayn feels his heart start to beat faster. “Whoa…what’s going on with the Horans?” 

“You don’t know?” His father asks, and Zayn shakes his head. “I thought Louis would have said something.” He adds and when Zayn just staring at him blankly, his father blurts out, “Maura has cancer.”

**************

“How long are they gonna keep her in there?” Louis asks, breaking the silence in the waiting room at the hospital. He stares at his grandmother, who is sitting across his chair, while his brother is sitting silently besides her.

Maggie chuckles slightly at her restless grandson. “I don’t know.” She replies, shrugging slightly. One of her hand is on Niall’s back, stroking her youngest son in comfort. “How long have we been here?” 

“Forever.” Niall states. He sighs again, for umpteenth times, before continues to sip on his coffee. His eyes wandering around the room and he watches as his father is waiting, fidgety, at one corner of the room and Louis is silently playing with the string of his hoodie. He doesn’t know how to feel at the moment. This entire thing feels surreal. He can’t believe that this is their life now, waiting for his mother to come out from the doctor’s room. For the test. For the cancer. With capital C. 

“Maura? You alright?” Niall’s thought is breaking when he hears his father’s voice, calling for his mother’s name. He watches as his father quickly walking over to the spot where the doctor is rolling his mother on the wheelchair. 

Maura smiles slightly at her husband. “I’m fine.” She says. “Just a little tired is all.” She admits truthfully. 

Bobby nods. Then he looks at the doctor. “So what did the tests show?” 

Maura’s smile drops as she hears the question. Hastily, she glances towards her youngest son. “Niall, sweetheart, would you take me to that vending machine?” She asks and Niall quickly obliges. “I believe I saw a root beer there earlier and I’ve been craving one ever since.” 

Niall walks over to his mother’s spot, taking the wheelchair’s handle from the doctor’s grip. He glances down at his mother worriedly. “Well, are you sure you can? I mean, with all the carbonation?” 

Louis quickly standing up, upon hearing his brother’s question. “I’ll take her myself.” He says impatiently, striding towards them. 

Niall glares at his brother. “No, I got it.” He says firmly, starting to push the wheelchair. “I was just asking.” 

Bobby watches until both of his sons leave the room with his wife before he turns to look at the doctor again. “How bad is it?” 

The doctor sighs, shaking her head. “It’s not good. The tumor grew just..”

“Grew?” Maggie pipes in. “How’d that happen? I thought the chemo was supposed to shrink the growth.” 

The doctor nods patiently. “That was the idea, but unfortunately, chemo doesn’t always do the trick.” 

“Well, so then we schedule the surgery. Right now. Today, if possible.” Bobby says. 

“We won’t be able to do it today.” The doctor tells them. “The situation has changed since the last MRI that you saw and we need to find a specialist.” 

Bobby crosses his arms over his chest. “Why? How has it changed?” 

“The mass was initially encroaching upon the spinal canal. But now that it’s grown, it’s actually touching the spinal chord itself. Pressing against the nerve.” The doctor explains. “Which explains the numbness in her legs.” 

“So she’ll still need the wheelchair?” Bobby asks. 

The doctor nods. “Yes.” She replies. “It doesn’t mean that we can’t do the operation. It just means that the risks have increased. There is a possibility of paralysis.” 

“Fine. Fine. We’ll..” Bobby says and stops abruptly when he sees both of his sons and his wife are approaching them. 

He watches as Niall and Louis are bickering as usual, and he shakes his head. “We’ll schedule an appointment so we can work out all of the specifics.” He says loudly, not wanting for his sons to hear about the bad news. Then he moves over towards his wife, taking turns to push the wheelchair. “And now, I’d like to get my wife home, so she can get some rest.” 

The doctor smiles at the family. “Of course.” She says. “We’ll talk later.” 

All of them start to walk out of the room but then Louis stops walking, and turning around. “Excuse me.” He calls out for the doctor, starting to walk over to the woman and shaking her hand. “Thank you.” He says simply, but the doctor seems to understand on the meaning between the lines. 

“You’re welcome.”

**************

“I need an apple.” Harry announces.

“I’ve got cherry, peach and rhubarb.” George says, walking over to Harry to give the items but accidentally dropping the peach on the floor. “Okay, now I’ve got cherry and rhubarb only.” 

Harry smiles and shakes his head at the other boy. “I am trying to create a system within the fridge so that when they’re hungry, they won’t even have to think about it.” He tells his boyfriend. “They can just reach in and grab.” 

“Have I told you lately how impressed I am by your organizational skills?” 

Harry rolls his eyes. “George, this is no time for flirty talk.” 

“We’re home.” Niall’s voice boomed through the backdoor, startling Harry slightly before he turns around, and smiles at the Horans family. 

Bobby glances around the kitchen, smiling, and then he looks at his wife. “This is just obnoxious. We’ve been at the hospital all of 12 hours. What? Did somebody run an ad in the paper?” 

George laughs loudly and Louis rolls his eyes. “You congested or something, dude.” He deadpans irritatingly, glaring at the boy. “If you’re sick, you shouldn’t be here.” 

Harry shakes his head. “No, he’s not sick. He just snorts when he’s nervous.” He explains. 

George nods. “It’s a new thing. The snorting, I mean. Not the nervous.” 

Niall slumps tiredly on the chair, smiling at both of the younger boys. “Well, it’s really nice of you to come and help, George. Thank you.” 

“Well, I’m going up.” Louis announces, suddenly doesn’t want to be in the same confine as Harry’s friend, or boyfriend, or whatever. 

Harry looks at them. “Are you hungry? I can heat up one of these casserole things.” 

Louis shakes his head. “Thanks, I’m..”

“I think I’ll join you, sweetheart.” Maura says suddenly. “I’m simply too pooped to pop.” She says, before she sighs. “Oh heaven, I forgot. I gotta get up those stairs again.” 

Bobby moves and starts to bend down to carry his wife. “Here..”

Louis quickly shakes his head, reaching for his mother before his father. “No, I got it.” He tells him. “I got you, mom.” He says, before he starts to put one of his mother’s arms around his neck. “One, two and three.” He counts before he lifts his mother gently, and starts to carry her upstairs. 

Harry watches in amazement as Louis is taking care of his mother. He never sees this side of Louis. The gently, quiet side, and to be honest, he likes what he sees. “Well, I guess we should be going.” George says, startling Harry out of his reverie. 

“Huh?” Harry says confusingly before he realizes about the time. “Yes, yes, we should go.” He tells George before he turns to look at Niall. “Um, if you need me..”

Niall shakes his head and smiles tiredly. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He says and waves them both off. 

Once they leave, Bobby enters the kitchen again and sighs at the mess. Niall looks at his father. “So I was supposed to pick up my, uh, cap and gown tomorrow.” He tells him. “Do you think I need to?” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “Graduation is this Friday, isn’t it? You want to have it laundered before then, huh?” 

Niall nods, shrugging slightly. “I know, but I’m just thinking maybe we shouldn’t go.” He says. “Maybe be hard with mom.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. She’d been looking forward to it. We both have.” 

Niall nods, before putting his head on the chair and watches his father from the corner of his eyes. “What did the doctor say?” 

“It’s…it’s fine. It’s gonna be fine.” Bobby lies. “I don’t want you worrying.” 

Niall rolls his eyes. One thing that he knows that he inherits from his father, is the inability to lie. So, he stares at his father. “Dad?” He calls out, knowing full well that his father is lying. 

Bobby sighs in resignation. “Ni, your mother bought an outfit for this weeks ago. Do you want to be the one to tell that she won’t be wearing it?” 

Niall smiles, shaking his head and running his hands through his hair tiredly. “Okay. Okay. I was just making sure.” He says, knowing that he shouldn’t push the subject if his father doesn’t want to talk about it yet. 

Bobby watches his son’s tired expression. “Get some rest. It’s been a long day.” 

Niall hums, nodding tiredly before he starts to stand up. “Good night, dad.” He says, before making his way to his room. 

Once Niall reaches his room, he plops down on the bed, sighing heavily. He feels so exhausted. Both physically and mentally. He reaches for his bed lamp, switching it off. He is about to doze off when his phone starts to ring. He blindly grabs the phone, and squinting with his eyes to see the name on the display. He stares at the name for a second, before he puts down the phone again. He rolls to face the other side of his bed, completely ignoring the call.

**************

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Zayn asks, as he shifts his feet nervously, standing beside his best friend.

Louis shakes his head. “I’m telling you, man, there’s nothing you can do.” He tells the other boy. “Just to go to US, send postcards. Let me know if you’re able to sneak into casino in Vegas or something.” He adds, smiling slightly at Zayn, reassuring him that he is fine. 

Zayn is about to say something else when suddenly, “Louis, your, uh, prescriptions are ready,” the pharmacist calls out, making both boys to turn around. 

Louis walks over to the counter, immediately frowning as he sees bunches of packs on the counter. “Are these all for my mom?” 

The pharmacist nods. “Yup.” He says. “Now, if she has any questions, you just, uh, have her give me a call.” 

Louis nods absent-mindedly, grabbing all the packs with him. “Yeah, I’m sure my dad will explain everything.” He tells the pharmacist. “Thanks though.” He adds, before turning around and making his way out, with Zayn in tow. 

Zayn watches as Louis’s posture stiffens and he knows his friend is upset. “You alright?” He asks as he jogs slightly, trying to match Louis’s pace. 

Louis nods. “I’m fine.” He says, but his voice is slightly cracking. He shakes his head, feeling his eyes start to burn and he blinks rapidly, trying to stop the tears that are about to fall down. “I just can’t stop crying, man. Gah, I feel like a freaking girl.” 

Zayn nods understandingly. “I think that’s normal.” 

“It would help if I wasn’t the only one in my house doing it.” Louis says. 

“So, how’s Niall taking it?” Zayn slips out the question that is inevitable. 

Louis shrugs, not even surprised by the question. “Like I could tell he was really freaked out at first, but now, it’s..it’s like nothing.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Denial?” 

Louis nods. “I guess.” He replies. “Either that or he’s just cold.” He says. “Harry explained to me how people go through the stages of grief differently.” 

Zayn blinks in surprise at the sudden mention of his brother’s name. “Oh, yeah, Harry?” He asks, can’t help to tease the older boy. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Don’t start with me, man.” He whines. “Ever since you told me that stuff the other week, it’s like my wires are all crossed. I can’t stop thinking about him.” 

Zayn grins. “Meaning, you like him.” He points out. 

Louis sighs in defeat. “Yeah.” He admits truthfully. He can’t lie to himself anymore. And definitely not to Zayn. “How sick is that?” 

Zayn shrugs. Eventhough Harry is his brother, the younger boy’s life is his own. And his dating life is simply not his business to interfere. “No, it’s good.” He assures his best friend. “You just gotta tell him.” He encourages. 

Louis shakes his head. “I can’t. He’s got that damn church monkey glued to his hip at all times.” He says. “Snorting all over him. It’s disgusting.” He quips. “If he was into me before, he definitely isn’t now. Though, luckily my mom does have cancer, so it keeps my mind off things.” He blurts out but when he sees Zayn’s eyes widen, Louis gasps. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said that.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “That’s alright. It’s allowed.” He says. As they approaching Louis’s car, Zayn glances at his friend. “Hey, I tried calling Niall.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Yeah?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, a couple of times. He never called me back.” 

“Huh?” Louis says simply, mildly curious. He knows Niall would never not picking Zayn’s call up. Even when they weren’t even in a relationship. Though lately, he isn’t sure what’s happening with his brother because apparently everyone is devastated over his mother’s health condition. He looks at Zayn, before he shrugs. “Maybe you should stop calling him.” 

Zayn hums, nodding slightly. “Maybe..”

**************

“Hi. Can I help you?” Yasir greets with a friendly smile when he spots a woman entering the clinic.

“Oh, I’m Dr. Chao.” The woman introduces herself, shaking Yasir’s hand. 

Yasir nods. “Oh, yes, of course. They’re waiting for you.” He says. “I’m Yasir Malik.” He introduces himself. 

“Dr. Chao, I thought I heard your voice.” Bobby suddenly pipes in, walking out of his office. “Thank you so much for coming all this way.” 

The doctor smiles at Bobby, shaking her head. “It’s no problem. Is Maura..?” 

Bobby nods. “Yes. In my office. Right through here..” He says, leading the doctor towards his office. 

The doctor looks at Yasir before she nods politely. “Excuse me.” She excuses himself, before she starts to follow Bobby’s lead. 

Yasir nods and smiles. “Nice to have met you.” 

Yasir watches as the doctor follows Bobby’s trails towards the opposite room in the building before suddenly she stops walking. She turns around slightly to face Yasir. “Um, perhaps Dr. Malik would like to sit in on a consult?” She asks. “Three heads are always better than two.” 

Bobby glances back and forth between both of them before he nods. “Of course.” He says, as three of them make their way towards his office. 

Maura glances around her husband’s office, waiting patiently for her husband to return with the doctor. She turns her head when she hears the footsteps. “How are you feeling, Maura?” The doctor asks and she musters a smile before replying. “Okay. A little uncomfortable in the posterior.” She tells the doctor. “I was told that this was the Mercedes of wheelchairs but frankly, my ass is numb from all the sitting.” She adds, before looking over at her husband. “I can say ‘ass’, I have cancer.” 

Bobby smiles, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, I hope you don’t mind, we’ve invited Dr. Malik to join us.” 

“I won’t say anything unless it’s really smart. I promise.” Yasir says, looking at Maura. 

The other doctor nods, before she pulls out the X-Ray film from her bag and starts to put it on the light screen. “Well, here it is. It’s about two inch mass now. Located posteriorly at L3.” She tells them as she points out at the X-Ray film. “I would have liked to let you know that it seems to have some shrinkage from the chemo, but surgery is still a possibility.” 

Bobby raises his eyebrows. “So is that our _only_ possibility?” 

The doctor shakes her head. “Not necessarily. If you want, we can still try..”

“I want it out.” Maura interrupts suddenly. 

“Maura, honey, I think we need to explore all of our options.” Bobby says calmly. “This kind of surgery can be incredibly risks at our age.” 

The doctor nods. “He’s right. And this one’s trickier because the location of the tumor.” 

“I understand, but I don’t care. I want that thing cut out of my body as fast as humanly possible.” Maura says firmly. 

“Good. That was gonna be my recommendation.” The doctor says. “So our first order of business should be finding the best surgeon we can.” 

“Well, what about Dr. Malik?” Maura points out, glancing over to look at the other doctor in the room. 

“No.” Bobby says quickly, at the same time Yasir says, “No, Maura, I don’t think that’s possibility.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “Not a good idea. No, you had mention something about specialists the other day?” 

The doctor nods. “Absolutely.” She says. “I’m gonna be putting together a whole team, radiation oncologists and orthopaedists, the whole nine yards.” 

“You want Henry Valledor.” Yasir says, as he stares at the X-Ray closer than before. 

The doctor beams at him. “That’s exactly who I was thinking for.” 

Yasir nods, satisfied with the doctor’s respond. Then he turns to look at the Horans. “I don’t know him personally, but I know of him and from what I know, he’s the best there is.” He tells both of them. “He’ll want to do a poster-lateral approach – going in from the back instead of the abdomen so you can get your endoscope in and see what you’re dissecting.” He explains briefly. “I know that Valledor has done hundreds of these. I can give him a call if you want.” 

“Thank you, we’d appreciate that.” Bobby says gratefully. 

The doctor nods. “So we’ll get your records to Valledor. Set up a consult and get it done as quickly as possible. Okay?” 

Bobby and Maura nod, agreeing with the doctor. “Okay.” 

Yasir watches them both before he turns to the look at the other doctor. “I’ll walk you out.” He offers and the doctor nods before they walk out of Bobby’s room, leaving the couple alone. 

Once they both leave, Maura grabs the framed picture on Bobby’s desk, and stares at the picture of her family. “We should call the lawyers, dear.” She says quietly. 

“Lawyers?” Bobby asks confusingly. 

Maura nods. “Yeah, I’d like to update my will.”

**************

Niall sits up lazily and pauses on the television when he hears the knocking on the door. Slowly, he walks over to the door, cursing mentally at whomever that is interrupting him as he is quite fond of laying on his couch lazily at that time. He opens the door, and slightly surprise to find Zayn, standing in front of him.

“I called.” Zayn blurts out as soon as Niall opens the door. Niall raises his eyebrows, confuse, but he opens the door wider anyway. 

“You did?” He asks as he lets Zayn into the house.

Zayn nods, staring at the boy in front of him. “Yeah. Couple of times. You never called me back.” He says. His tone is slightly hard, because honestly, he is hurt by the way Niall is ignoring his call. “So I just came over.” He adds. 

Niall hums, then he start to walk over to the living room with Zayn in tow. “Interesting way to interpreting me not call you back.” He says before they both sit on the opposite couches. He stares at Zayn briefly before he glances at the stairs. “We have to be quiet. My mom’s sleeping upstairs.” He tells the other boy. 

Zayn nods understandingly. “Yeah.” He says simply. 

There’s a long, drawn out silence as they both stare at each other. 

Niall raises his eyebrows at the other boy. “Not _that_ quiet.” 

Zayn clears his throat before he speaks up again. “Well, I’m sorry, it’s just a little weird. I don’t know exactly what to say here.” He admits truthfully. 

“You’re the one that came over.” Niall deadpans. He knows he comes across as being harsh towards Zayn but he is completely not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially his ex-boyfriend. 

Zayn holds his gaze at the expressionless boy in front of him. It’s slightly bugging him on how he can’t read Niall’s emotion at the moment. “Yeah, because I wanted to make sure that you were okay.” He says softly, not wanting to tick the other boy off. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Niall replies simply. 

Zayn’s eyes bore into Niall’s. “You can’t be fine.” He points out. 

Niall stares back, still lacking of emotion. “I am.” He says firmly. “Trust me, I know it sounds bad, but my dad says they caught it in time so..”

“Really? Cause Louis said that it was stage IIB.” Zayn points out. 

Niall shrugs. “Well, they didn’t catch it early, but in time.” 

Zayn sighs, eyes still staring at Niall, trying to find any emotion from the other boy at the moment. Truthfully, he is worried about the other boy. He doesn’t want him to derail towards the same path like he did after Liam’s death. But as he watches Niall’s face, completely stoic, watching him, Zayn knows there’s nothing he can do. So he straightens up, leaning forward, as if he is trying to make Niall to listen to him completely. “Alright, look, I know we broke up and that things are all weird right now, but you know, you need to know you’re still my best friend.” He says. “If you need me, I’m totally here for you. The fact that we’re no longer dating is beside the point. I would never leave you alone at time like this.” 

“Aren’t you leaving for America on Friday?” Niall asks instead. 

Zayn blinks, slightly taken aback by the sudden question. “Well, I was, but I don’t have to.” He says firmly. “If you need me, I can change my flight. I can cancel my trip, or postpone. Whatever you need.” 

Niall shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest, still lacking of any emotion as he stares at Zayn. “No. No, I don’t think you should do that. You should go.” He tells the other boy. “But I appreciate the offer. I just don’t need you, you know.” He says, totally declining on Zayn’s offer. 

Zayn nods. “Okay.” He says simply, and he feels slightly rejected by Niall’s words. “Alright, well, I was just..” He trails off. “Uh, better get going..yeah..” he says and when he sees Niall is about to stand too, he shakes his head. “No, it’s okay, I can let myself out. Don’t worry about it.” 

Niall nods silently, not even glancing at Zayn as he takes off, before grabbing the remote controller and shifts his attention to television again.

**************

“Can I get you anything? Another magazine? Or some water?” Yasir asks as he looks at the woman who is sitting on the hospital bed.

Maura turns her head to face the man. “Oh, no, Bobby will be back soon with the good coffee. I can wait.” 

“Ah, Maura Horan?” A doctor comes in, startling both of them. 

Maura looks at the doctor and nods. “Yes. Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” She says, smiling at the man. 

The doctor doesn’t even return the smile and by the look of it, he is heading straight to the business as he grabs the chart from the end of bed, reading it briefly. “How many Cisplatin infusions have you had? It doesn’t say here..” 

“Oh, I can’t remember exactly.” Maura replies. 

The doctor nods. “A rough estimate.” 

Maura takes a breath, still trying to recall about that piece of information. “I was here three times a week for about four weeks.” 

“Okay. Okay.” 

Yasir who was just watching the sight silently, suddenly standing up from his seat. “Doctor Vallendor? I’m Yasir Malik, we spoke on the phone.” He says, introducing himself as he shakes the doctor’s hand. 

The doctor nods. “Yes. Yes.” He says. “You’re a lot older than I pictured. Nice to meet you.” He adds before looking back at the report, and then he looks at Maura. “Okay, I can squeeze you in next Monday. Chao wants to run a few more tests, but I’m outta town after Wednesday, so she’s gotta do them fast. I need you to stay here for just a couple more hours. Okay?” 

Maura nods. “Oh, okay. Uh, could you maybe tell me what I might expect from the surgery? Or after the surgery?” 

The doctor crosses his arms, staring at her. “Well, survival rate is between sixty and seventy percent at five years, now that’s assuming, of course, that the margins are clear and the surgery is successful. That also assumes that the chemo goes well afterwards.”

Maura’s smile drops. “So that means….?” She asks confusingly. “I’m sorry, what does that mean?” 

“Chemo. Another round, post-operative.” The doctor replies. “You’ll also need another procedure to install a port-a-cath underneath your collarbone, so they don’t have to keep running the I.V. back and forth. I don’t do that surgery, by the way.” He adds. “Okay? Great. I’ll see you next week.” He says before he starts to walk out of the room. But before he reaches the door, he stops, turning around to look at Yasir. “Oh, hey. Are you gonna be in the room when we do it?” 

“I was considering scrubbing in..” 

“Cool. I’ll see you then.” Once the doctor leaves, Yasir turns to look at Maura. “Surgeons talk fast. It’s part of their training to sound as scary as possible.” 

“He must have graduated top of his class.” Maura deadpans. 

Yasir smiles understandingly. “You know, if you have any questions, Maura, that’s why I’m here.” 

“You’ll be in the room when they do it?” Maura asks. 

Yasir nods. “I will, if you want me to be.” He says. “Then I will.” He adds. “Now, let’s talk about this port-a-cath. It’s not half as scary as it sounds.” He starts to say, finding his seat again. “The whole procedure takes about an hour. It doesn’t hurt at all. In six months, you’re going to be very glad you had it.”

**************

Yasir knocks on the open door, catching Zayn’s attention as his son is currently busy with his packing. “Probably only need one sweatshirt, less to lug around.” He comments once he enters the room. “You, uh, you wanna ride to the airport tomorrow?”

Zayn glances up at his father briefly, and then he shakes his head. “No, it’s alright, I got a shuttle coming.” 

Yasir nods, expecting the answer. He steps closer towards the boy. “This is a, uh, graduation present.” He says, putting the item in his hand on the bed before starting to turn around to leave. 

“Dad..”

Yasir turns around to face his eldest son again. “It’s not from me.” He says. “She bought that years ago.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows curiously. “Why? I mean, why would mom do something like that?” 

“In a way, I think, it was because of me.” Yasir admits, staring at his son. “One of my, uh, first patients was a woman named Tina Greenburg. Late 30s, three kids. She had this infectious laugh. Your mom was at the hospital that day working on a benefit, she’d come to see me and she heard Tina’s laugh all the way from my office, and she wanted to meet her.” He tells Zayn. “They hit it off right away.” He says, before he pauses.

Zayn leans forward to take the gift, inspecting it briefly before he looks at his father again. “What was wrong with her?” 

“Basilar apex aneurysm.” Yasir replies. “They give the procedure to a lot of young neurosurgeons, because you can develop technical proficiency with optimum patient outcomes.” He says. “In other words, if you’re a half way decent surgeon, the patient shouldn’t die.” He adds. “But Tina did. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong and I lost her on the table.” He continues. “Your mother was devastated. She couldn’t stop thinking about these three kids growing up without a mum. So she started planning. Started buying little things for you guys here and there. Wrapping them. Just in case, she’s say. I told her she was being morbid, but product of being a surgeon’s wife – always have a backup plan.” 

“I just…never thought anything bad would happen to her.” Yasir continues. “It wasn’t part of my plan, you know.” He adds. He clears his throat after that, shaking his head. “Well I’ll let you get back to your packing.” 

Zayn nods. “Thank you, dad.”

**************

“Hey, can I come in?” Zayn asks as he stands in front of Harry’s door, watching as his brother is busy with his laptop. Probably doing some school works.

Harry glances up from his laptop, nodding silently. Zayn takes that as a yes and puts down his bag near the door, before walking over to Harry’s bed. He takes a seat in front of his brother. “Okay, first of all, this is not goodbye.” 

Harry glances over Zayn’s shoulder, staring briefly at the thing nearby the door. “Then why do you have your backpack?” 

“Okay, uh, technically, this is goodbye, but we’re still gonna talk all the time. I mean, not just on email too, I’ll write you, I’ll write you postcards and everything.” Zayn says. “And you have to watch out for it, okay?” 

Harry nods. “I will.” He says, staring at Zayn. “You’re not even going to come back for Christmas?” He asks quietly. 

Zayn sighs a little. “I mean, I don’t know yet.” He tells his brother. “I could lie and say yeah that I’ll definitely be here, but one of the things that I learned this year is that lying to just make somebody feel better, doesn’t work.” 

Harry nods understandingly. “What about the lies that happen when you just don’t say anything at all?” 

“Lies of omission – that sucks too.” Zayn says. When Harry stares at him, he knows he has been caught. “Oh, you mean..” 

“I know something bad happened.” Harry points out. “I know you hate him. I just don’t know why.” 

Zayn shakes his head. “Okay. One day, I promise I will tell you everything.” 

“When I’m ready?” Harry asks, slightly hurt that nobody tells him anything but he knows something bad had happened. Niall told him it was not his place to tell Harry and he understood that. But for his father and brother to keep the secret, it’s kinda hurt. 

Zayn shakes his head again. “No. When _I’m_ ready.” He says firmly. “You can handle it. You’re stronger than you look. Me? I just,..”

Harry stares at his brother. “It still hurts too much?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, something like that.” 

Harry nods understandingly. “Just tell me one thing.” He says. “Is he like the most horrible dad in the world? Cause maybe I should hate him too.” 

“No. No, are you kidding me? No, you shouldn’t hate him.” Zayn says firmly. “He’s a good dad. I mean, even with everything’s that happened, he has a good heart.” He tells his younger brother. “Alright, you promise me something?” 

Harry raises his eyebrows. “What?” 

“Just, uh, just listen to him. Alright? Do what he says.” Zayn tells his brother. “Take care of him for me.” 

Harry nods, his face turns into a frown, as he feels sad of the prospect of his brother’s leaving. Zayn notices it. “Come here.” He beckons for his brother to come closer. Then he leans in, kissing his brother’s temple gently. “I love you.” He whispers. After that, he pulls away, standing up and turns around to leave. 

Harry watches his brother’s retreating figure, eyes welling with tears. “Bye, Zayn.”

**************

“Nice hours, you doctors keep.” Maura says, starling Yasir from his desk as he is packing his bag, getting ready to leave the office.

Yasir chuckles. “I’m playing golf today.” He tells the woman. “And I don’t think Bobby’s coming in at all, so..”

Maura nods. “I know, Louis and I were just running an errand. I asked if he could drop me off.” She says. “Do you have a minute?” 

Yasir nods. “Oh, sure, here, let me help you.” He says, walking over to help Maura with her wheelchair. 

Maura shakes her head. “Oh, no, I’m fine. I think I finally got a hang on it.” She tells him. “Although, my arms haven’t been so sore since Louis was a baby. He was very big.” 

Yasir laughs. “So, what’s up?” 

“I was wondering about that friend of yours.” Maura replies. “How’s he’s doing? Uh, the older gentleman, you used to work with..”

“Oh, Donald? He’s fine.” Yasir says. “You know, cranky as ever but that’s why we love him.” 

Maura smiles, nodding slightly. “But he’s better since the, uh, surgery? I remember it was quite a complicated operation.” 

Yasir stares at the woman. “You’re asking me for a reason.” He points out. 

Maura sighs. “I just don’t like this Valledor.” She tells him truthfully. “He’s not spent more than 20 minutes with me and now he’s gonna gut me like a fish without so much as ‘how do you do?’ It just seems all wrong.” 

“Well, ego and attitude go with the territory.” Yasir explains. “Unfortunately, his bedside manner is pretty standard for most surgeons.” 

“I’m not interested in most surgeons.” Maura says. “I..I don’t mean to…make this difficult for you.” 

Yasir sighs regretfully. “I can’t perform your surgery, Maura.” 

“I could take care of Bobby.” Maura says, trying to convince him to agree. 

“Well, I’m sure that you can, but he’s right. I’m just…I much too close to you.” 

“You were close to Donald.” Maura points out. “That’s why you did that operation as I recall. Because you cared.” 

“I operated on Liam because I cared.” Yasir points out. “It’s not a recipe for success.” 

Maura sighs. “The fact is..” She trails off. “I don’t have any idea about what’s gonna happen to me and I’m terrified. Honest to God, terrified.” She admits. “Maybe Dr. Valledor is the right surgeon for the job, but..I truly believe that you’re the right surgeon for me.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you love my family as much as I do.” Maura says, smiling at him. “For that alone, I trust you with my life.”

**************

Niall watches as his father closes the door quietly. “Hey.” He calls out, startling his father slightly before the older man turns around.

His father walks closer towards him, staring at his outfit as he is wearing a graduation robe. “You look radiant.” His father comments, making Niall smiles a little. 

“Thanks. But, um, I’m supposed to be there two hours early so we should probably get going.” He tells his father, his eyes glancing at the wall clock at the hallway. 

Niall stares at his father as the man nods, while starting to put the coat on. “Yep, oh, absolutely. Let’s hop to it.” 

He glances at the closed door, before he looks at his father again. “Is mom..?” He trails off unsurely. He feels slightly guilty for asking when he sees his father’s face starts to crumble. 

“She’s sleeping.” Bobby tells his son. “Ni, she just felt so tired all of a sudden. I urged her to take a nap and..” He says and pauses, glancing at the door. “I just don’t think we should wake her.”

Niall shakes his head. “No, of course not.” He says quietly, watching his father. 

“So, Louis’s going to stay here in case she wakes up and needs anything.” Bobby says, staring at his son. “But you and I, we can still..” He says, trying to muster a smile, but he in the end, he fails. His lips start to quivers instead and his eyes start to well with unshed tears. 

Niall feels his heart breaks as he looks at his father’s expression. Never in his life could he imagine that his father will look as sad as he is at the moment. “Dad…” He calls out, feeling his own eyes prickles with tears. 

Bobby shakes his head, trying to hold back his tears. “I don’t even know what I’m saying any more.” He says helplessly. 

And that’s the cue before tears start to pour out from Niall’s eyes. He walks closer to his father, pulling him into a hug and they both cry.

**************

Zayn stares at the gift for a moment, before he starts to un-wrap the paper gift. Once he finishes, he finds that it is a book and he flips it upward to read the title. ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go!’. He flips on the first page and his eyes catch on his mother’s handwriting.

_My dearest Zayn, I’ve been sitting in our kitchen for the last half an hour simply imagining you. Wondering what you must be thinking right now, what you must be feeling, how handsome you must look in your cap and gown._

Zayn blinks back his tears. He misses his mum a lot. 

_“If you’re thinking about me – stop. Send a kiss to the sky and focus your thoughts on what’s coming towards you, not what you left behind. I’m forever entwined in your past, your present, and your future. You needn’t pause to look for me. I’m right here.”_

Zayn traces his finger on the handwriting, trying to feel his mother’s words. 

_”If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next – don’t. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness. Don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present each moment as it comes because you will never get another one quite like it.”_

He wipes away his tears, before turning his head towards the window of the airplane, trying to compose himself. He stares into the sky. “Thanks mom.” 

_”And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart – where your hope lives, you’ll find your way again.”_

_\- Love, Mom_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Press next chapter for epilogue.


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you jump into this epilogue chapter, press back to previous one, cause I've posted two chapters at the same time. :)

Niall takes a seat between his father and brother at the hospital waiting room. “Do you need anything?” He asks his father. They are waiting for his mother’s operation, performing by Dr. Malik and they are all nervous about the outcome. 

Bobby sighs. “Just, uh..” He trails off. “Just a moment alone.” He says, standing up and walks out of the room. He makes his way to the small chapel that is available at the hospital. Sighing, he bows down his head. 

“If you don’t mind, Lord, a word. I know you’re boundless and infinite and problems of individual souls are quite beyond your purview, but try to see it from my side. When I pray to you, I am fair, I don’t ask for favors, intervention, I only ask you for the strength to do right on my own. Or the wisdom to make good choices.” Bobby prays. “I never ask you for anything for myself. Well, I am today. I want you to guide his hands. I want you to guide whatever cells in her body have to fight or die or do whatever they must so that this cancer dies. Taking nothing with it.” He continues. “I am asking you, God. Fix this. Make her better. I offer you no promises or trades, bartering my ears for hers. I’m just asking.” He adds. “Go ahead, cast stones at me for my impudence, cast a boulder, I don’t care. You fix this.”

**************

“Louis, you want my pudding top?” Harry asks as they sit at the cafeteria. He passes the putting top to Louis and the older boy grabs it enthusiastically.

Louis grins. “Awesome!” He says, before he licks the top for the taste. “Butterscotch – interesting choice.” 

Harry smiles as he looks at the older boy. “Thought you might like it.” 

“Oh, here, you can have my vanilla, I’m not much of a licker.” George says, as he pulls off the top and accidentally spills it on Harry’s clothes. “Oh. Sorry.” He apologizes. “Here, this part’s still good.” 

Niall watches the scene in amusement, silently sipping his drink. 

Louis shakes his head at George. “Nah, I’m okay.” 

Harry clears his throat, turning his head to look at his friend. “So, Niall, how’s the whole Princeton housing thing going? Did you pick a dorm yet?” 

Niall puts down his beverages on the table and shrugs. “Um, not yet actually. I mean, I have all the brochures, um, but it all just seems, uh,..” he trails off. 

“Totally..” George pipes in. 

Louis rolls his eyes, annoyed at the presence of the other boy at the table. He abruptly standing up and Niall raise his eyebrows at his brother. “Where are you going?” 

“Refilling the drink.” Louis replies simply before he takes off towards the other side of the cafeteria. 

Niall watches as his brother goes, before he excuses himself from the table too. “I will be right back.” He says before he trails off behind Louis. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Louis replies. 

Niall stares at his brother, trying to figure out the reason on why Louis is acting weird. “Is it Mom?” 

Louis nods. “Yep, it’s mom.” He replies quickly. 

Niall scrunches his noses, shaking his head. “It’s not mom, you’re being weird.” He points out, knowing his brother. 

Louis shakes his head. “It’s nothing. It’s just..” He trails off unsurely. “You know, this hospital stuff is intense and I think that the guest list should be limited to family and best friends of family, not boyfriends of best friends of family.” He says, annoyingly, glaring over Niall’s shoulder at the direction of their table. 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “You don’t like George?” 

“Shasta mack spastic? Uh, no.” Louis deadpans. 

Niall turns around to see the boy before he turns to face his brother again. “Why? He’s completely harmless.” He says, staring at his brother. “Unless..” He trails off, then his eyes widen in realization. “Do you…?” 

“No!” Louis replies quickly. _Too_ quick. 

Niall’s face breaks into a smile. “Oh my God!” 

Louis rolls his eyes at his brother. “I’m going back upstairs.” 

“You like Harry!!” Niall exclaims excitedly. 

Louis glares at his brother. “I will smother you with bare ass cheeks if you say a word about this.” He warns. 

Niall shakes his head, too excited to say anything else. “You have to tell him! This is amazing!” 

Louis flicks his brother’s forehead. “I can’t. He has a boyfriend already, in case you haven’t noticed.” 

“Yeah, but..”

“He’s finally happy and stuff.” Louis points out. “Cool with his life, you know. I can’t mess that up.” He says. “I mean, I could, but it wouldn’t be fair.” 

Niall sighs slightly, shaking his head. “I can’t believe this. You’re finally a good enough person to actually deserve Harry and now you can’t have him.” He says. “Which is sad. Really sad.”

**************

Bobby glares at Yasir when the other man starts talking to him as they both park their cars side by side at the hospital. “Oh, no, you don’t get to be cute with me. Not anymore.” Bobby quips.

Yasir sighs. “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this.” 

Bobby glares at him. “Well, I think we do.” 

“She came to me and asked me to perform the surgery.” Yasir says. “She gave me that look of hers. What did you want me to do?” 

“I wanted you to say no, I wanted you to tell her the truth.” Bobby says. “In why you’d like to help, you haven’t scrubbed up in a year. The risk of spinal cord damage was too great for you to step in.” 

“I tried to talk to her into..”

“You didn’t try hard enough.” Bobby deadpans. “She had enough to overcome without adding you to the balance!” 

Yasir sighs. “You’re angry. I understand that. But I need to go check on a patient now so if you’ll excuse me.” 

“Shouldn’t’ve even been your patient.” Bobby says. “You should have let that other doctor with the Yasir Malik size chip on his shoulder do what he came to do, but you couldn’t, could you?” He continues. “Had to play the hero. Feed that volcano god of an ego. You don’t care whose life you take as long as it’s sacrificed to your self-satisfaction.” 

“Bobby, I never would’ve done this if I didn’t think I could do the job.” Yasir says firmly. “I did the best that I could.” 

“She needed more than that! She needed the best anyone could do! You just couldn’t bear that that wasn’t you anymore.”

Yasir shakes his head. “Look, why don’t we go inside and see if her condition has changed today.” 

“What are you even doing here? In Mullingar? I thought you came here to give up all that, turn your back on all the false glory of surgery and find meaning.” Bobby points out. “You came here, the quaintest town your money could find, swaddled yourself in flannel and denim, and professed yourself of a changed man. So explain to me how you keep winding up with a scalpel in your hand. See, everything you’ve set out to do by moving here – you’ve failed at. You have no family. You haven’t quit surgery. You drove your eldest son away. You thought this magic little town would save you. Well, it hasn’t.” He says. “No town could.”

Yasir is about to say something else before his phone rings. “Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Malik.” He pauses. “Are you certain?” He asks and once he hangs up, he looks at the man in front of him. “Bobby? That was Dr. Chao. Maura is awake.”

**************

“I wonder if they’ll let us sit in the room with her today. I mean, they should, right?” Niall asks. “Oh and did I tell you that she moved her big toe? Apparently that is really big.”

Harry nods, listening to Niall. “Oh, it’s huge. It means the worst is over, right?” 

Niall hums before he replies. “Well, it’s still gonna take forever for her to get back to normal and the second round of chemo’s supposedly worse than the first, but today was better than yesterday so I’ll take it.” He says, while he’s packing his mother’s belonging. “And you really don’t have to come to the hospital with us today. You only have a small amount of time until you go to your grandparent’s house for the summer, you should really spend it with George.” 

Harry shakes his head. “It’s okay, I’d rather come with you.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “You would rather spend a day in the hospital with my family rather than make out with George?” He asks curiously. 

“I would rather spend a day getting my under arms waxed than make out with George.” Harry blurts out. Then his eyes go wide when he realizes on what he had said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” 

Niall shakes his head. “No, but you did.” He points out. “What is going on?” He asks worriedly. 

“No, it’s nothing.” Harry hastily replies. “We’re great. It’s great. It’s just…” He trails off. “I’m not sure if there’s supposed to be more stuff.” 

“What do you mean, more stuff?” Niall asks curiously. 

Harry sighs. “Well, like, like I love talking to him on the phone and his emails always make me laugh but when we hang out in person, I just never wanna..”

Niall stares at the younger boy, giving his full attention. “There’s no heat.” He points out knowingly. 

“Well, there’s warmth.” Harry says. 

Niall nods. “But you don’t feel the urge to get all sweaty with him.” 

Harry scrunches his eyebrows. “Are you supposed to wanna get sweaty? See, I don’t know these things.” 

“Harry, you’re supposed to at least miss him every moment that you’re not with him.” Niall tells the younger boy. “At least in this stage of relationship.” 

“Well, maybe we’re not that kind of couple. You know, maybe we’re just milder than that.” Harry says. 

“So you’re crappy salsa couple?” 

Harry shakes his head. “Mild salsa is not crappy. It’s a lot easier on the digestive system for one thing.” 

“But it’s not as fun to eat!” Niall points out. “I mean, you want a little fear mixed in with every bite. A little something spicy to get it all going.” 

Harry snorts. “Okay, now I’m really starting to think of us as salsa so we should stop.” 

“You need to break up with him.” Niall says. 

“What? No.” 

Niall shakes his head. “No, absolutely. You need to break up with him, Harry.” He says. “This is not how relationships are supposed to be.” He points out. “Kissing is supposed to be the greatest thing in your life right now. Not something that you dread.”

“I don’t dread it.” Harry says. Then he sighs. “Look, Niall, it’s taken me 16 years to find someone. I’m not just gonna throw him away because we’re not sweaty or spicy or whatever. You know, it might not be perfect but it’s nice.” 

Niall stares at the younger boy. “I know, but what if there is somebody out there who’s better than just nice.”

Harry shakes his head. “Trust me, there isn’t.” He says. “Uh, we should go, uh, your mom is probably waiting for us.”

**************

“Hey, you.” Yasir says when he notices his neighbour is standing at his kitchen, staring at the window. “What are you..?”

Nina turns around quickly as she hears Yasir’s voice, smiling at him. “Nothing. Just hiding in your kitchen.” She replies. “Forget me, how is she?” 

“Maura? Oh, she’s doing well actually.” Yasir tells her. 

Nina nods. “Well, of course, she is. You were driving. You always get your man, don’t you?” 

Yasir nods. He stares at his neighbour curiously. “You want to tell me what you’re hiding from?” 

“Nothing.” Nina replies quickly. “There’s just a man in my house. Strange men. Think a lot of men.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “I thought Paul moving in was a good thing. Wasn’t it your idea?” 

Nina nods. “Oh, it was. It’s great.” She says. “Got any scotch?” 

“Yeah, I think I got a little left.” Yasir says, grabbing a bottle of scotch from the cabinet before they both move to sit at the dining table. 

“Do you know anything about Percocet?” Nina asks suddenly. 

“Well, I know you shouldn’t be mixing them with scotch?” Yasir points out. 

Nina sighs, before she pulls out a bottle of pills from her pocket. “I found them in Paul’s stuff. I wasn’t looking. They were just…they were out.” 

Yasir takes the bottle and reads the label. “What’s he taking them for?” 

“Well, that’s the thing, I don’t know.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “Oh, I see. A lady who’s boozing in the middle of the day is worried about the guy taking the low dose painkillers.” 

Nina nods. “Yes, well, in case you forgot, let me remind you about the condom I found in my ex-husband’s stuff, which led to discovery of the big love affair.” She tells Yasir. “I’m not a huge fan of finding stuff.” 

Yasir chuckles. “Look, there could be dozens of reasons why he’s taking these. He could have fallen off a chairlift and herniated a disc. Or maybe he got hit in traffic while he was in L.A. and somebody gave him a whiplash.” 

“Or maybe he has a problem with prescription medication.” Nina deadpans. 

Yasir stares at her. “And you don’t wanna just, oh, I don’t know, ask him?” 

Nina sighs again. “It’s a very touchy subject.” 

Yasir raises his eyebrows. “What are you talking about? You ask people personal stuff all the time.” He points out. “I can’t get you _not_ to ask me about personal stuff.” 

Nina shakes her head. “Yeah, but it’s not the same. I mean, I come over here and blab about anything, but with him, I mean, we talk, but still we don’t have _this_.” She says, pointing to herself and Yasir. 

“Nina, the guy is moving in with you. You gotta be able to ask him about everything.” Yasir says. “And look, in the interest of umm, _this_ , I think I should tell you that, um, I might be getting a job offer.” He says. “I’ve gotten a few calls in surgery.”

Nina stares at Yasir. “Where?” 

“Back in London.” 

“Hell of a commute from Mullingar.” 

Yasir shrugs. “Well, it might not even happen, but, uh,..” he trails off. “Look, Nina, I don’t even know what I’m still doing here.” He says. “I know what I’m _supposed_ to be doing here, but somehow everything that I came here for is, uh..”

“A disaster.” Nina finishes for him. 

Yasir nods. “Yeah, thank you. Bobby practically has a lynch mob out after me. I have no idea what country my eldest son is in. My dating prospects are down to Mrs. Tolliver, who patted my butt while I was removing a mole hair.” He tells his neighbour, grinning. “So there truth is, that there’s really..nothing left for me here, is there?” He asks, staring at Nina. 

“Well, I can’t answer that.”

**************

“Thanks for dinner.” Harry says politely, as both he and George stepping out of the restaurant.

George smiles at him. “No, thank _you_.” 

Harry shakes his head. “George, you paid.” He points out. 

“Yeah, but you came.” The other boy says. “I mean, you can’t just pay people to eat dinner with you.” He continues. “Well, I guess you can, but I don’t think I’d enjoy hookers.” He adds, chuckling. “Anyway..” He says, leaning closer to kiss Harry’s lips. 

Harry freezes at the sudden kiss. He’s not really responding to the kiss either. Once George pulls away, and starts to lead him back to the car, Harry grabs his arm, making the other boy turns around. “Uh, out of curiosity, uh, how would you rate that kiss?” He asks. “I know that I didn’t offer much. In retrospect, I can see that tilting my head slightly more to the left might have helped. I’d give my performance in that case a 2. Three tops.” 

George stares at him, grinning. “You’re crazy.”

Harry shakes his head. “No. No. Really, um, I think we should be able to be honest with each other about this stuff.” He says. “Otherwise, we’ll never improve.” 

George smiles. “How can we improve on perfection?” 

Harry shakes his head slightly. “George, uh, I don’t think we’ve reached the perfection stage yet…of anything.” 

“You don’t?” George asks, looking sincerely confused. “Gosh, I don’t see how we could get better. We laugh all the time. We make great fish tacos together. And when we kiss, it’s like, time stops.” 

“Are you sure it doesn’t just slow down?” Harry asks, then he stares at the boy. “George, um, I don’t think I feel the same way as you do.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, about us.” Harry says. “I thought that we were on the same page which was what so great, but now I’m thinking maybe we’re not.” 

George’s smile drops. “Oh, uh, so where are you?” 

Harry shrugs. “I’m in chapter one.” He tells him. “I’ve definitely read the forward and I enjoyed it. But I don’t know if I’m ever gonna finish the whole book.” He adds. “You know what I mean?” 

“Oh.”

“I’m so sorry, George.”

**************

Bobby knocks on the door before opening it. “May I come in?” He asks, a little bit timid.

Yasir glances up from his desk and looks at the other man. “I don’t know. Are you gonna hit me?” 

Bobby shakes his head. “I want to apologize. I said some awful things last week.” He says. “Well, I said every awful thing. Those words were said carelessly, under a great deal of stress not that that’s any excuse.” He adds. “Well, it is, but I’m not going to hide behind it.” 

Yasir hums, leaning back on his seat, looking at Bobby. “Listen, what you said was right.” He says. “Maybe not all of it, but more than you think.” He adds. “I shouldn’t be here, Bobby.”

“Well, luckily for me, you are.” 

Yasir smiles. “I’ve been offered a job back in London and I’m considering taking it.” He says. “If I do, the practice will transfer to your name, the lease will be transferred over to you.” 

“Yasir, wait..” 

“The thing is, I miss being a surgeon.” Yasir says, cutting Bobby off. “I really do. I’m good at it. It’s the only time in my life that makes sense.” He adds. “I gave it up and I’m just alone as I was when Julia died, so..”

“No, you’re not.” Bobby says firmly. “I mean, forget everything that I said, forget everything you’ve heard issued from my mouth before right now.” 

“Why?” Yasir asks. “You’ve seen my resume for the last three years. I’ve ruined your life a dozen times over, lost Liam, shattered the Paynes, destroyed my relationship with my eldest son, blinded a reverend, drove your sister back to Africa, had an affair with a stroke victim’s wife.”

“Yes, well..” Bobby trails off, staring at the other man. “Are you sure?” 

“Well, I haven’t asked Harry yet, but yes, I’m sure.” 

Bobby sighs. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Yasir nods. “Let it go.”

**************

Yasir knocks on the opened door, watching as his son is putting on his jacket, probably heading out to Horan, as he always does now. “Hey, you got a minute?”

Harry turns around upon hearing his father’s voice. “Yeah, what’s up?” 

Yasir steps into the room, and sits on the bed, while Harry watches silently, leaning against his study desk. “Listen, Harry, I’ve been thinking about something and uh, I wanted to see how you feel about it.” He says. “You may have already noticed that I haven’t been too happy lately.”

Harry nods understandingly. “You don’t have a lot going for you.” 

“That’s true. I don’t.” Yasir confirms. “But I think I figured out a way to fix it.” He adds, pausing slightly before he continues. “I’m not sure that this is the best place for me right now. Mullingar, I mean.” 

Harry stares at his father, raising his eyebrows. “You wanna move?” 

Yasir nods. “Part of me does. Yeah.” He admits truthfully. 

“Well, what would we do?” Harry asks curiously. 

“Well, if I wanted, if _we _wanted, I’ve been offered a job running surgery at a hospital back in England.” Yasir tells his youngest son.__

__Harry hums, contemplating on his father’s words before he nods. “What do I get if I say yes?”_ _

__Yasir laughs and shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry, Harry, it’s not gonna work like that this time.” He says. “There aren’t gonna be any horse bribes or any deals.” He adds. “You’re a lot bigger than you were when we first moved here, and you’re getting bigger by the second, so I am going to treat you that way. We’re going to talk about this, we’re gonna take a vote and then that will be it.”_ _

__Harry raises his eyebrows. “There’s only two of us. What if I say no and it’s one to one?”_ _

__“Then we stay right here, because your vote is bigger.”_ _

__Harry shakes his head. “That’s not fair.”_ _

__Yasir shrugs. “It is in light of a missing horse.” He says and when Harry remains silent, he asks curiously. “What is it?”_ _

__“Well, what if Zayn comes back?”_ _

__“If Zayn comes back, he can live with us in our new house. There’ll be room for him too.” Yasir says. “But you don’t have to decide this right now, I know it’s a big deal so we can talk about it more and then when you’re ready..” He adds, starting to stand up and leave the room._ _

__Harry shakes his head. “No, I think I’ve decided.” He blurts out, making his father to stop walking and faces him again._ _

__“Already?”_ _

__Harry nods. “I think you should pick.”_ _

__Yasir raises his eyebrows. “Me?”_ _

__“Yeah.” Harry says. “I trust you.”_ _

__“You sure about this?” Yasir asks. “Cause I’m not known around this house for making good calls.”_ _

__Harry smiles slightly at his father. “Zayn trusts you more than he says. He may not say it to you, but he does.”_ _

__

____

**************

“Well, that sounds like quite a predicament, but I can count on you to be there, Dean.” Bobby says through the receiver of the phone. “Yeah, 9am sharp. Wonderful, I will see you then. Yes.” He says, ending the call. “ _You_ , not so fast.” He calls out when Niall walks past the study room, heading towards the kitchen.

Niall stops walking and turns around to face his father. “Whatever it is, I don’t do 9am, I’m on summer hours.” He tells his father. 

Bobby snorts, shaking his head. Then he points at the papers in his hand. “I need you to fill this housing application for Princeton.” He tells his youngest son. “I realize these last few days have been taxing on all of us, but I have not forgotten this deadline nor should you. If we don’t get this on time, your first dorm could wind up being the street.” 

Niall stares at the papers briefly before he looks at his father again. “I haven’t forgotten, I just..” He trails off unsurely. 

“Just what?” Bobby asks. 

Niall moves toward the small table, taking his seat in front of his father. He stares at the older man. “Dad, please don’t be upset.” He starts. 

Bobby’s eyes widen as he notices the tone in his youngest son’s voice. “Oh, no. No. No.” 

Niall snorts and rolls his eyes. “Dad, you have to at least let me finish my sentence.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “I most certainly do not, I can see where the sentence is going. And I intend to thwart it on its path towards utter foolishness.” 

“I’m talking about deferring.” Niall says and quickly adds, “Just for a year.” 

“Out of the question.” Bobby says, shaking his head. 

Niall gazes at his father, trying to plead. “Dad, think about it. Mom’s surgery went well, but it’s not over yet.” He says. “And you’re going to need help. And it’s not fair to ask Louis to wait for another year.” 

Bobby nods understandingly. “You’re right, it’s not. I would never ask either of my children to put off their promising futures to assist me with something that I can handle perfectly well on my own.” He says firmly. “Children are the responsibility of the parents, not the other way around.” 

“I’ll remember that when you’re 90.” Niall deadpans. 

Bobby stares at his son. “You, my son, are going to Princeton this fall.” He says, before pushing the paper in his hands towards his son. “I want this application completed and on my desk by tomorrow morning.” He says with such finality. 

Niall rolls his eyes, raising his arms up in defeat. “Fine. Don’t get all Officer Bad Ass on me, I’m going.”

**************

Niall watches amusingly as the boy who is lying on his bed, groaning loudly, while burying his face into the pillow. He shakes his head. “Harry..”

Harry moves, turning around slightly to face Niall, and hugs the pillow instead. “His face was just so sad.” 

Niall raises his eyebrows. “Like you shot his puppy?” 

Harry nods. “Yes.” He replies. “Yes, that’s exactly it. It was so horrible.” 

“What was so horrible?” Louis pipes in, suddenly appearing in Niall’s room out of nowhere. 

Niall turns around to look at his brother. “Harry and George broke up.” He tells the older guy. 

Harry tilts his head up slightly to look at Louis. “I’m a puppy killer.” He says before starts to plop down on the bed, burrowing his face into the pillow again.

Niall takes the opportunity to stare at Louis, “do something.” He mouths, hoping that his brother will know what to do. Unfortunately, Louis shakes his head and walks out of the room instead. Niall’s eyes widen. “I’m gonna go get you some ice cream.” He announces, starting to stand up. 

Harry moves the pillow out of his face. “Oh, I’m not really hungry.”

Niall shakes his head. “It’s a thing. Breakups and ice creams – you can’t miss with tradition.” He says quickly, before dashing out of the room, chasing for his brother. 

“Where are you going?” Niall asks when he reaches his brother and trails behind him down the stairs.

“I’m going to the kitchen.” Louis replies simply. 

“Why aren’t you in my bedroom making Harry feel better and telling him how much you love him?” Niall asks. 

“Because first of all, I’m not in love with him.” Louis tells his brother. “Okay? Don’t get all extreme. And second, I, I..”

“You what?” Niall asks, still trailing behind the older boy until they reach the kitchen. 

“I don’t know how I feel at all!” 

Niall rolls his eyes. “What are you talking about?” He asks. 

Louis shakes his head. “I’m not sure any more.” He says. “Okay, I mean, it’s like maybe I like him. Maybe it’s gas.” He adds. “I sure hope you didn’t have him break up with that kid just because of me. Because if you did..”

“You are so lame!” Niall says, slapping his brother’s arm, not too gently. 

“Ow! Don’t smack me.” 

Niall shakes his head, glaring at his brother. “Now, you don’t know how you feel?” He points out. “Now that it’s actually possible, he’s free and you can do something about it, and you don’t know.” 

“What do you want me to do?” Louis asks, mortify. “Okay. A heart’s a complicated little organ.” He says. "I’m sure he’ll bounce back. He’ll probably have another boyfriend in no time.” 

Niall huffs, walking over to grab the bowl and spoon from the rack, as he is listening to his brother’s words. “Oh, I’m not worried about Harry. He’s gonna have a million boyfriends, because unlike you, his heart is actually open.” He deadpans. “And he’s one of the bravest people I know.” He adds, before turning around to face his brother again. “It’s you that I worry about, Louis.” He continues, before moving to the fridge to grab the ice cream. “God, I never knew what a coward you were.” 

“Oh, would you bite me?” Louis snaps. 

Niall shakes his head. “No, really, you are so freaked out by the possibility of something real, that you are actually gonna ruin the best thing that ever happened to you.” He says, closing the fridge’s door after he grabs the ice cream. “I feel sad for you, Lou. I really do.” He finishes before he dashes out of the kitchen, leaving Louis alone with a thought to ponder.

**************

“You planned that one.” Yasir says when he walks out of his car, and Bobby is trailing behind him.

“Me?” 

Yasir rolls his eyes. “I saw you waiting.” 

Bobby smiles sheepishly at being caught but he chooses to ignore it. “Well, I know how much you’ve always enjoyed our morning repartee. I’ve prepared a few insults if you’d like to hear one.” 

“I’m not dying, Bobby. We can always email.” Yasir says, before they both walk side by side into the office. 

Once they step into the building, Yasir is suddenly greeted by the bunch of people. It takes a while for him to get his bearings and when he sees the banner, he knows that the party is obviously for him. He shakes his head, before quickly walking out from the building, with Bobby in tow. “You told the whole town I was leaving?” 

“Well, absolutely, I wanted to give them a chance to stop you or at the very least to say thank you before you go.” Bobby explains. 

“Consider it said, Bobby.” Yasir says. “You shouldn’t have wasted your time.” 

Bobby shakes his head. “It didn’t. It took nothing. All I had to do was ask, they came on their own, near and far to let you know how much they appreciate you.” He says. “And don’t think they came for me. They hate me.” 

“Well, I can’t imagine why.” Yasir deadpans.

Bobby rolls his eyes. “Come on.” He says. “Those people owe you their lives. Let them say so. They wrote speeches. You know how hard it is for those invertebrates to sign their own names.” 

Yasir shakes his head. “Thanks so much, Bobby.” 

“As stubborn as he unappreciative.” Bobby deadpans. “Fine. Leave.” He says and when Yasir starts to open his car’s door, Bobby shakes his head. “Just don’t. Don’t leave. Till you get to hear the truth.” He says and pauses. “You’re supposed to say what truth?” 

Yasir rolls his eyes. “What truth?” 

“That you are hardly the failure you make yourself out to be.” Bobby says firmly. “You think that you have harmed more than you’ve healed. Well, I’ve got a train station full of people waiting to disagree with you.” He adds. “Truth be told, I owe you for more than what you did to Maura. For better, for worse – probably the latter.” He adds. “You’re my best friend. I’m a better person for having you in my life and ruining it. Yasir, just, hear them out.” 

“Am I too late?” 

Yasir turns around when he hears the familiar voice. His eyes widen. “Maura, you shouldn’t be out of bed.” 

Maura sighs. “I think I’ve had enough of doctors telling me what to do.” She says, before she grabs Yasir’s hand. “You are not going anywhere.” She says firmly. “Is that understood?” 

Yasir’s face breaks into a smile. He glances between the woman and her husband. At that moment, he knows why Maura is the town’s mayor, she just has the power to make people to listen to her. And so, Yasir nods.

**************

“Hey!” Yasir calls out when he sees Nina at the front yard.

Nina turns around when she hears her neighbour’s voice. “Hey! You’re home.” She says happily. “I can’t believe I missed the great intervention. I wanted to come, but..Paul and I were having this thing and I had to send my friend to the airport.” She explains. “Plus, you do know how much I want you to stay anyway already. I mean, how many cookies can a girl bake?” She rambles on. “So, uh, what’s the verdict? Did the good people convince your or not?” 

Yasir smiles at her. “Not exactly. But I’ve decided to stay.” 

Nina gasps and jumps into Yasir’s arm, hugging him tightly. “Oh, thank God.” She says happily. “I was going to pretend to be supportive if I had to, but I’m so glad I don’t have to.” She adds, pulling away. “So what did it? Price of living? Fresh air? Bobby’s ties?”

Yasir shrugs. “Oh, a little bit of everything, Let’s just say I’m not done with Mullingar yet.” 

“No?” 

Yasir shakes his head. “No. No.” He says. “You know, when I first got here, I thought it was just for my family, for my kids. But over the last few years, this town and the people in it, have become like an extended family to me.” He adds. “Some more so than the others. And, uh, because old habits die hard, I’ve taken ones I cared about most for granted.” He says, staring at the woman in front of him. “I’ve taken you for granted, Nina.” 

Nina shakes her head. “No, you haven’t.”

“Yes. Yes, I have.” Yasir says. “And in the process, I missed it. I missed our moment. We had one, didn’t we?” 

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Yes, you do.” Yasir says. “This thing that we have. This, uh, this back and forth, it’s more than just a friendship, it’s a connection. It’s a force that’s carried me through the past three years and I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t even, I didn’t even know it until now.” 

“Didn’t know what..”

“That it’s you. It’s always been you.” 

“Yasir..” Nina laughs nervously. 

“You were the one who’s always been there for me, for my kids. When I first came here, you took me into your home. You took me into your heart. You helped me to heal mine. _You_ did that.” Yasir says. “I’m not done with Mullingar, because that life that I want, the one that you told me that I deserve to have, I can’t have it without you, Nina.” 

“Yasir, I don’t know what to say. I mean, you’re a little late.” 

“Yes.” 

“Paul is here.” 

Yasir nods. “Yes, I know.” He says. “And I know that you have feelings for him. And I know that those feelings may be stronger than the ones that you had for me. Are they?” 

Nina swallows. “I don’t know.” She says. “How did you know what I had..” 

Yasir cut her off by leaning in and kiss her briefly before he pulls away. “I don’t know if what I’m doing right now is brave or just selfish, I honestly can’t tell any more. But one thing I know for certain is that, _you_ would be the greatest choice I could ever make. And if you choose me back, I know I can make you happy. If you let me.” 

Nina blinks her eyes, too speechless to say anything after the unexpected kiss. 

Neither of them realize at the sound of the car’s engine approaching the front yard. But they startle and jump away from each other when suddenly Paul’s voice is heard. “Honey, I’m home.” 

Oh, damn.

**************

Harry is struggling to get his luggage as he walks down the front porch when he notices a familiar figure is approaching him. “George?”

“Hey, you’re ready to go?” George asks, moving to take one of Harry’s bags from the ground. 

Harry blinks confusingly. “Go where.” He asks, stopping the other boy by grabbing his arm. “What are you doing?” 

George stops walking, turning around slightly to look at Harry. “I’m taking you to the airport.” He says. “Am I too early? I thought your flight was at noon.” 

Harry nods. “It is, but my dad’s taking me. I didn’t think you’d still want to, since we broke up and all.” 

“We what?” 

Harry stares at the boy, like he is crazy. “We broke up.” He repeats and when the other boy is just staring at him blankly, Harry shakes his head. “Did you get knocked unconscious recently?” 

George shakes his head. “I’m sorry. Uh, when did we break up?” 

“Uh, the night we broke up.” Harry says. “We were on different page. I was in chapter one. Do you not remember any of this?” 

“I remember that.” George says. “I just thought that was like, you know, one of those talks that take you to the next level. Progress report type of thing.” 

“Oh.” Harry says. “No, it wasn’t.” 

“So, you broke up with me?” 

Harry nods. “Yeah.” 

George lets go of Harry’s hand, shifting on his feet. “Well, this is awkward. Uh..okay..uh…wow…uh..”

“I’m really sorry.” Harry apologizes sincerely. He didn’t mean to upset the other boy but he doesn’t want to lead him on. 

“Yeah, me too.” George says. “Have a safe flight, Harry.” He says before he walks back to his car, leaving Harry alone. 

“What’s up with him?” Harry almost jumps in surprise when he hears Louis’s voice from behind him. 

“We broke up again.” Harry replies. “Although…”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Although, what?” 

Harry sighs, shaking his head slightly. “Although, maybe I made a mistake. I don’t know.” He says, watching as George drives away from his house. Then he looks at Louis. “What are you doing here?” 

Louis stares at Harry, captivating the boy’s features before he clears his throat to reply. “Oh, uh, this sweater, you left it at my house, so, I knew you were leaving today, and I figured you might uh..”

Harry snorts, before he chuckles. “You don’t have to make up an excuse, Louis. It’s okay, if you just wanna come over and say goodbye to me.” 

Louis’s face flusters, he bites his tongue as not to blurt out anything embarrassing. “Um, hey, ride to the airport?” 

Harry shakes his head. “Uh, my dad’s taking me, but thanks.” 

Louis nods. “Okay, so I guess, I’ll see you later, whenever like next fall or something.” He says and pauses. He doesn’t know what to do so he extends his hand to shake Harry’s. “And, uh, goodbye, Harry.” 

Harry nods and smiles. “Bye, Louis.”

Louis lets go of Harry’s hand. “Alright,” he says simply before he starts to walk back towards his car. A few steps later, he stops, grunting loudly before he turns around. “Wait, no, wait.” He calls out as he sees the younger boy is about to step into the house again. He walks closer towards the boy, standing in front of him. “I didn’t come here just to say goodbye to you.” He starts, staring into Harry’s eyes. “Remember at first, when we first met, and you said you liked me, it was really weird, you know, and it wasn’t, you know, but then we started hanging out and we became friends and you got hot, okay? And I’m not talking about the take your glasses off kind of way, I’m talking really….” He pauses, his eyes never leave the younger boy. “Oh, man..just..” He says before he takes a step closer, and leaning to kiss Harry. 

Harry’s eyes widen, too shock to respond at first, but within second, he starts to move, putting his arms around Louis’s neck, deepening their kiss.

**************

“Now, you can either take a nap or I can put a DVD in for you.” Niall tells his mother, while he is taking off the tray from the bed, putting it aside.

Maura shakes her head slightly. “I think I’ll rest for now.” She tells her son, smiling at him. “It’s been quite a day.” 

Niall nods, agreeing with his mother. He starts to stand up, but not before leaning down to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Okay.” 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

Niall smiles slightly. “Any time.” He says, before he tucks her mother in. He watches as his mother closes her eyes, already half-asleep, before he walks out of the room, closing the door quietly. He makes his way to his room, and he stops by the small table at the hallway when he notices the papers on the table. Those are the forms that his father had strictly told him to fill in. The house’s application for Princeton. He stares at the paper for a moment, before he suddenly grabbing those and throws them into the bin beside the table. He nearly jumps out in surprise when someone is clearing his throat from the other end of the hallway. He turns around, only to face his father, who obviously had seen on what he had done. 

“I can’t go.” Niall blurts out, staring at his father. 

“Niall..”

Niall shakes his head. “Dad, hear me out please.” He pleads. “I think it’s fair to say that I’ve had pretty much the worst high school experience anyone could ever have.” 

“Which is why you deserve to go away and have a magnificent college experience.” 

Niall nods. “And I will.” He says. “When the time is right.” He adds, reassuring his father. “Do you know what got me through these past few years? Through Liam and Dan and everything?” 

“Zoloft, if I recall.” 

Niall smiles slightly, happy that at least those dark times can be made fun of now. “It was you, and mom, and Louis. It’s my family. I needed you guys and you were there for me.” He tells his father. 

“And Zayn.” His father adds, making Niall’s heart drops slightly but he quickly recovers, shaking his head. 

“I don’t want to talk about him.” Niall says. “Please.” 

“Okay. We won’t.” His father says, nodding and Niall feels relief that at least the subject has been dropped. 

Niall takes a step closer towards his father. “You know what, mom needs me now. And I don’t think I could forgive myself if I wasn’t there every step of the way.” He tells him. “It’s a good thing, I promise.” 

He waits nervously, as his father stares at him, obviously indecisive about the situation. He prays silently, hoping that his father would understand. Hoping that the man knows how much Niall loves his family over everything. 

“You know what, I trust you.” And that’s all it takes for Niall to jump into his father’s arms, hugging him tightly. 

“But we’re definitely going to talk about this thing with you and Zayn later.” His father says and Niall sighs heavily before he pulls away. 

“Can we just forget about it?” He asks, pleading with father. 

Bobby shakes his head. “No. Look, I still remember how you told me how much you love that boy. I don’t want you to keep bottling your feelings, just tell me everything, okay? I know we’ve been busy with your mother’s condition, but I don’t want you to feel alone about this.”

Niall sighs. “I’m fine.” 

Bobby snorts. “I’ve known you for 18 years, I know you’re not fine.” He says, wrapping his arm around his youngest son, bringing him closer. 

Niall leans his head against his father’s shoulder. “He left me.” He says brokenly, suddenly feeling all of the emotions come crashing towards him at once. He knows it was slightly his fault, pushing Zayn away when he came to meet him. But part of his heart was hoping that Zayn would at least fight harder to stay. Apparently, he lost. Zayn had left. The other boy hadn’t even said goodbye for the last time. He feels his eyes start to mist, and before he knows it, he starts to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me. 
> 
> **Part 4 of this series preview/sneak peek:**
> 
> _Zayn stares at Niall. “What can I do?” He asks helplessly._
> 
> _Niall shakes his head. “Nothing.” He says, glancing at the other boy briefly. “I probably should have said something sooner. I guess I was just hoping that there would be nothing left to say.” He adds, sighing slightly. “It took me a long time to get here, Zayn – months, really.” He continues. “June – I was talking to you like you were still here. July – I was angry that you left. August – I was writing to you letters that I never sent to you. And now….”_
> 
> _“Now you’re over me?”_
> 
> _Niall exhales, shaking his head and smiles slightly at Zayn. “No, I’m not over you. I’m over _it._ ” He tells him. “I can’t keep crying over you, Zayn.” _
> 
> _Zayn stares at the other boy. The boy that he misses so much. “I don’t want you to.”_


End file.
